IMPORTANT 1
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For those people who have not already been made aware of this, independently of this website, I am in a constant 24/7 activity with a small group of people (144,000) who are situated all over the world. I don't understand it exactly, but it is related to the design and creation of the great pyramid of Gizeh. Look at link (144,000) in the 'for your information' section of this website. In other words, our central nervous systems are somehow fused. They can sense that i am typing at this moment, even though they are situated in different places all over the world. They could also sense that I was drinking a cup of coffee, if I was doing that right now. I am not currently in activity with 144,000 people. Some have died from old age. Some I am not in activity with yet. Apparently, some of these people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with were sensing me as a fetus, when i was still in my mother's womb. I think that i am joined with these other people because of something relating to the sun, other stars (most notably the constellation of Orion), the design of the great pyramid, and electromagnetism. It means that what is happening in our minds, or central nervous systems, also exists somewhere else, in order for the fusion to be taking place in the manner which it is. I believe that the water in our systems acts as a conductor. I believe that the same was true of Jesus of Nazareth; meaning, that this same connectivity with others is what actually distinguished him from other people. Read in the 'for your information' section about 144 and 72, or the story of Jesus and the 72 in the book of Luke. Also the story of Horus battling Set (Sat-an) and 72 conspirators in Egyptian mythos. I am not stating that Jesus of Nazareth and the Egyptian Set (Sat-an) are the same being. 72 is 1/2 of 144, with there being 1440 minutes in one day. The story of Jesus of Nazareth in the bible is mostly allegorical, although he was a real person in real history. The constant 24/7 activity can be, at times, maddening, for both me and the people who are sensing me. I believe that the 144,000 is some type of star seed. Constellation of Orion, astrology, 12 x 12 x 1000. Look at links below. Star seed is not necessarily "positive". I was 24 years old (1997), when it first became evident to me that I was, or am, in this unique, constant 24/7 activity with people. I am not schizophrenic. Then, in February of 1998, I started to sense an intelligent being communicating to me, with the use of physical contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which meant that this being began to sense me first. It is a form of non verbal communication. This happened, in a way, exactly as it was predicted by something known as the Ussher chronology. Beginning of 1000 years (6000 years = 4004 BC to 1996 AD). Look at links in the 'for your information' section of this website. It also means that other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with can sense, or were also sensing this intelligent being. It was extremely confusing at first. Madness. Isolation from the community. Hopelessness mixed with confused faith. 13 years later, in May of 2011, I started to sense another intelligent being communicating with me, with the same type of physical contractions of my muscle and soft tissue. It was, and still is, easily differentiated by me, and also the entire worldwide group who are sensing it, from the communication from the first intelligent being. It was, or is, fainter and more frequent. A totally different person, with a totally different personality. Non verbal communication. Both of these beings wanted, or want, to make it apparent to me, and anyone else who they thought was sensing me, because of the type and timing of the physical contraction communication which they can generate, that they had my vision, or that they could see what i could see. It was, or is, sensed as a person who is sort of child like, who is in a type of shock, or stupor, and finding it fascinating. Like they are children watching cartoons on television. It is very easy to understand, through sensation or non verbal communication, that the first intelligent being which myself and the rest of the group began sensing was, or is, male. It is very easy to understand, through sensation or non verbal communication, that the second intelligent being which myself and the group began to sense was, or is, female. They are human, just like I am human. I know without a doubt that the female is Hispanic, now (in the year 2022) about 30 years old, probably still living in Houston, Texas. I have seen her about 6 times in different places in the Houston area, because she wanted me and the rest of the group to know that it was her, wanting me to talk about her, or that she was responsible for creating the sensations, in a way childishly showing off. She used to have a white SUV and restricted phone number in the year 2011. Height is probably about 5 feet or 4 feet 10 inches. Medium size breasts. Full figured. She had long brown or light brown hair. I believe that she lives inside of the Houston 610 loop area, or that her parents live inside of the Houston 610 loop area. I believe that this is true, because she was able to get to locations within the Houston 610 loop area, where I was, quickly, already knowing that I would be at the same location. She has an unusual issue with her left eye, which I have seen, which I believe is the eye which acquired my vision, being at the beginning of the fusion of our central nervous systems, right around the last week of may of 2011. I believe that she has a brother who owns, or who used to own a Dodge Charger. I saw this car when I dropped off paperwork at the downtown Houston police station, wanting to be respectful of her, trying to establish rights for both of us. I also saw the person who I think is her brother together with her at the Houston Veteran's Administration hospital, when I went there one time. She wanted me and other people to know that it was her. I know without a doubt that she is lying about this situation to her family. I can reasonably assume that the male being who can also create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which other members of the group (144,000) can sense, who also indicated that he has my vision, also has an unusual issue with his left eye. Meaning, the eye which acquired my vision in February of 1998. It took me 13 years (1998 - 2011) to be able to understand that this male being is an African American, and also that he is ignorant, not possessing extraordinary knowledge concerning me, or this situation, which I thought that he had prior to 2011.
I believe that these 2 people were characterized, or defined, as Set (Sat-an) and Nephthys in Egyptian mythos, in the past. I believe that I was characterized, or defined, as Horus (Christ) in Egyptian mythos, in the past. Look at links in the 'for your information' section of this website. I also believe that the male was characterized as Beelzebub during the time of Jesus of Nazareth.
After having enough experience, having been situated together with these 2 people for some time already, as stated, I can list some of their characteristics.
They are like people who are a type of mentally retarded. Constant stupor. Psychopathic. Sociopathic. Narcissistic. Childish. Evil. It flaunts being evil, seeming to try to recruit evil people. Hate. Anger. Envy. Jealousy. Greed. Problem with ego, or perhaps super ego. Negative. Angry. Sadistic. Nervous. Insecure. Creepy. It flaunts thinking that it is creepy. Attempts to intimidate. Vicious. Insane. Predatorial. Deceit. Perverted.
Even evil people wouldn't want anything to do with these beings. They have a mental problem.
Because they are naturally, or understandably, insecure about what people think about them, namely because of their unusual issue with their left eye, they embarrass and anger easily, ultimately having betrayed the community, desperately trying to make it seem like I was evil, or that people should think of me as evil, when I am not evil, and when they knew, or know, that I am not evil. They also childishly and sloppily imply that they have some authority which they don't think that they have, wanting to make a mockery of what would actually be considered responsible behavior, it seems because of panic, or greed, or not understanding how they should fit in with society. They seemed to want to try and associate in a cooperative way, when the activity with them first started. As time went on, they seemed confused about how to survive, socially, and long term, thinking that they had embarrassed themselves by having been unnecessarily aggressive.
They both seem to want ignorant people to believe, acting out in a childish, blatantly fake, confused, ignorant manner, that the eye above the pyramid on the dollar bill represents them, or that they have authority which they actually don't have. It is related, but the eye on the dollar bill seems to be the opposite of what they are. God is a loving God. They are not loving, and not only that, they are trying to make people think that God is not a loving God. They are also trying to fool people into thinking that i am not loving.
I have tried to help them. They should communicate to the public, or me, with actual words and conclusive statements, instead of trying to stupidly and wrongfully hustle their way into happiness, social success, power, or survival. There would be a commitment to cooperation which they would benefit from. They wanted, or want, to show off and play childish games. It got, or gets them intro social trouble. It seems like their minds never develop properly, in any incarnation of theirs, because they have my vision, and are constantly distracted by, or interested in what I am doing. They are not doing work like other people ordinarily do work, by not communicating with intelligent statements, which are easily understandable and conclusive. It got them into social trouble, or didn't, or doesn't, allow them to make a type of normal social progression. They seem to be implying that they are supposed to get unusual special treatment, or be worshipped because they are unusual, but they are lazy, childish and are constantly attempt to deceive, like someone who is criminally insane. They are disabled, and are trying to obtain something for themselves in an unethical, rude, bully style way. They seem to live in a fantasy world, fanaticizing about having happiness and power, but are unwilling to try to do work like people ordinarily do work, communicating using intelligent, conclusive, easily understandable statements, in order to achieve this happiness. They have a confused identity problem, seeming to want to settle for being different, and a foe, not wanting to try to make a more normal social progression on earth.
They seem to have an unusual need to feel loved, or respected, or accepted, or recognized. They have an unusual psychological problem, just as a few other people who i am constant 24/7 activity (144,000) with have proven themselves to have. These 2 people are trying to secure something for themselves, using their ability to create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which other people in the group (144,000) can sense, as a type of weapon. It is an attempt to subdue or incapacitate me, and other people, so that these 2 beings do not have to work as hard, or compete with others, as people ordinarily have to compete, or cooperate, with others. It seems as if they are doing this, really for the future incarnations which they think that they will have, not wanting me, or others worldwide, to achieve the potential in this life, because they think that it will make it better for themselves if I was considered unpopular. I think an attempt to have me murdered, in this life, or in future lives. They want to create frivolous gossip which they think will benefit them in making me seem unpopular. It seems as if they are both confused and angry, trying to create gossip which they think will help their chances of survival. They have a strange pride problem, or ego problem, like someone who feels special, but inferior, and is in a type of panic, then doing something irrational for attention. It is an angry, childish attitude, like "oh yeah, well i am somebody too!", or, "oh yeah, well i am going to show you who i am!" They think that i am special, or unique, so they have a confused desire to feel special, or unique, too.
i think that these creatures might have been a problem during Jesus Christ's time here on earth, or a distraction for him, but that it was not so bad that people communicated at length about it. I have thought that the biblical character Beelzebub was, or is, a way to refer to them, or at least the male. There were more opportunities for problems to arise in this incarnation of ours because of technology.
I have told both of them that it is better if we work together, and that they are creating a lose-lose situation for themselves and the community. It seems as if they both want, unrealistically, to be thought of as like stars, or celebrities. As I stated, they have a unusual ego problem. I have told them they they would have love and happiness in their lives if they didn't try to unnecessarily overshadow me, or other people as well. As time goes on, it doesn't seem as if they care about being loved anymore. They are confused about what people think about them.
I think that these 2 beings have something to do with the moon. I have read that scientists think that there used to be 2 moons. They have mental problems. It seems like their ability to create the contractions in my muscle and soft tissue relates to an electric charge, or a positive/negative charge, or electromagnetism. We don't feel electric shock, though. I have thought that maybe it has something to do with the moon (grey aliens?/I read that they don't have a soul), or reptilian entities which I have read about, or something about Alpha Draconis (constellation of Draco/Draconian/star corresponding to northern side of great pyramid).
I wish that scientists and other people would be informed about what is going on by people who who i am in constant 24/7 activity (144,000) with, who could prove that the constant 24/7 activity is real. They would have to include me and perform a test, publicly certified with television cameras and the police. They could put us in different rooms of a building, say something to me, with me being in one room of the building, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know what it was. Someone could touch me somewhere on my body not inappropriate, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know where on my body it was. Give me something to eat, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know what it was. It could be certified by the police. Television cameras were invented only 70 years ago. The eye (like a camera) connects everything, or allows for information to be gathered and processed. You could use it as an important tool like a microscope. For example, people who don't live in Egypt wouldn't know what the pyramids looked like, unless there were photographs of them. They couldn't understand it, or begin to understand it, or conceptualize it, or appreciate it. The use of a television camera to observe myself connected to the 144,000 would be like looking at a cell, through a powerful microscope. Objectivity. Science, and not religion. I think that it would be good for scientists, politicians, and future politicians to understand, because this constant 24/7 activity which I am in with others applies to people all over the world, not racially or territorially discriminatory. World mind. World consciousness. I think that it will get spiritually messy in the future, or in everyone's future incarnations, if you don't make a story about me now, while you can, in the way that you could. Don't take our current peace or social order for granted. I have a few ideas about how to secure it. One is that if it were acknowledged by the government, it would be respected, but also as a way of making it seem unimportant. I could do something unusual every morning when i get out of bed, which only people who i am in activity would know about. There is a chance of an information leak, I think for people who would try to get social security disability money, when they are not mentally sick, or disabled, or in constant 24/7 activity with me. Another thought is that there would be an agreement that the 144,000, after being officially recognized, do not speak about me, or themselves, in public. If someone who wasn't a person who i am in activity with would try to convince people that they were a person who i was in activity with, no one would believe them, or pay attention to what they had to communicate.
I think that at a minimum, the police, or FBI, who i believe already know about this public situation, should come to my home, stating to me (in front of everyone) that they know about it, and have made a public statement about it. There needs to be more social order, or more confidence vested in what is happening. apparently, It happens all of the time, or in cycles.
God bless, and Peace be with you.
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some of the above information seems like i am dragging it on, or becoming too emotional about it, but that is because i am confused, and sick, wanting the 2 beings who are acting aggressively to be real, and cooperative.
also, i usually write in all lower case, or am informal. i also like the uniform aspect of all lower case.
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i am being made intentionally sick and confused by this creature (i am referring to it as one thing, but it is 2 different people) all day long, every day. it has compounded. it has been going on for years. my mind can not function properly. i feel constantly threatened, publicly. nobody's mind could function OR DEVELOP properly. it is weird childish sadism. please help if you can. try to help. i am not crazy. part of the reason that it is doing this to me is to make it seem like i am crazy. another reason is that it wants to make me seem weird and unlikeable. it is because it thinks that people think that it is weird and unlikeable. it thinks that it can't survive. it is so different than what people normally are, like an animal or completely different species, so that it doesn't try to work with people, as people ordinarily work with one another.
basically, i am saying "take this job and shove it." don't expect me to do something positive for the public when you don't act like you care about at least trying to protect me from weirdos who are out there. they are childish and sadistic.
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here is a houston, texas police report which i created on 12/01/2016.
the incident number is: 1528227-16
the officer's name: E. Estep
unit #: 20G52N
officer Estep works out of the west side command station.
i would like to create another report, or add to the existing report.
i think that people could think that they have a better chance of getting away with murdering me if there is already an existing report. go figure.
the report is filed under some mental health category which shouldn't be filed under mental health.
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i have already deleted negative tone information about half a dozen times in the past 2 or 3 years from my website, trying to fight, then not liking what i think that it is doing to the community, trying to fight, then not liking what i think that it is doing to the community, etc. the issue is that i am defenseless, and that there are weird, childish, very mean people out there. some people feel humiliated by their personal situations, so they want to humiliate me. they should stop. i have been confused about what to do. i want to stop bad things from spreading, but i don't want a negative, confusing tone or confusing thoughts to dominate the community. a few people who are are really not nice or honest, who caused a social problem for themselves, didn't anticipate in the past that i would ever be communicating online, defending myself and the community. then they started to fuck with me so bad, weird, childish cruelty, in order to try to get me to defend myself and the community even more online, in order to try and make it seem like i am a weird, uptight jerk, or a liar, when i am actually not. my computer work worked against them, publicly, so they tried to make it work against me, publicly. they are evil. it will be difficult to not fight back if they continue to do what they have been doing, since i lack privacy in the way which i do. they probably will continue. it is completely natural to feel the need to fight back against this type of aggression, since it affects your feelings, publicly, and permanently. you fight to try to bring a feeling of dignity and peace into your life, like someone who is being raped or violated. the people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are weird, childish psychopaths/sociopaths. it shouldn't come as a surprise that a person in my situation is being stalked, harassed, violated, in public.
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i really don't feel like there is a need to communicate anything more about george h. w. bush, northern trust bank, paris hilton, or thule.org. one reason is that i have already honestly communicated about these issues, more than once. the other reason is that i am not evil, with people knowing that. i am not mean, either. i'll probably be ignored and harmed even more if i do communicate about these issues again. it gives childish, evil, fake, socially lame people something to lie about, and to try to spread hate about. they do it because they got themselves into social trouble. they want ignorant people to think that because i seem defensive about something, that it means that i am guilty of something, or that there is something more interesting or more important about it than there is. no. it is like cheesy, fake, lame tabloid shit. it isn't important. ok, here is something.
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needed to add it. important.
george h. w. bush stated "1000 points of light", which was unusual and is related to christ, which confused me, back in the past when i thought that everything had some special meaning, like a child would think, making me think that maybe i was going to have some official support if i accomplished something significant for scientists, along with the fact that i thought that skull and bones was more important than it is, or was, along with experiences which i had, and was still having with the supernatural, mostly this black man acting aggressively toward me. i didn't believe that God would use me as a way of creating something bad or confused for the community, so my mind wanted to believe in something which was unrealistically positive, like an inexperienced child would. in 2002, i was nervous and confused, feeling isolated, hoping that i could do something good and be happy, and i thought that i would write a letter to george h. w. bush, to try to figure out if i was thinking the correct thing, that i was supposed to work on something related to the weather, and also if he seemed like he was acting supportive. the letter was brief, and would have seemed like i wasn't really making a real point. i remember mentioning "1000 points of light", and also something about geomagnetism, thinking that geomagnetic reversals were important, mostly because of a book "fingerprints of the gods", by graham hancock. i became nervous or awkward while i was working on the letter, thinking that maybe i shouldn't be writing the letter to bush while i was high on methamphetamine, thinking that it was disrespectful or inappropriate. at that moment, the black man gave me what felt like, and i think that other people who sensed it would agree with me, a loving, comforting nudge, like "everything is ok", like he was wanting me and the people who he knew were sensing it to think that everything was ok, and that i was not doing something bad in the letter. i didn't know that it was an ignorant black man who was acting aggressively, thinking that he was someone who had special knowledge about the future and who worked for some kind of super government, i thought that maybe george h. w. bush had connections with people everywhere, and that there was a special prophesized understanding of me doing something positive for the community, because my mind couldn't rationalize the situation any other way. i thought that it meant that i was correct for thinking that everything that i was thinking about working a type of miracle was accurate, and that it was prophesized. i didn't want to think that i was supposed to create a mess, with me feeling confused, sad and isolated all of the time. i would have stayed way, way, far away from george h. w. bush if this black guy had not have acted aggressively in the way which he did, at that moment. i would have been scared of george h. w. bush, thinking that some government faction was working in opposition to me. it seemed like the black guy was telling everyone that it was ok, and that there was nothing bad in my letter to bush, since i became nervous or felt awkward. i used to think that maybe i was supposed to unite 2 opposing factions in government, like some "scorpion king" did back in egypt (i don't mean the movie), uniting upper (southern) and lower (northern) egypt. i believed or wanted to believe that i was going to figure out something important for scientists, and that i would have support, or love, or happiness in my life. i didn't want to think that God was cruel. i was young and naive, and also confused, nervous, and i had a very weird drug problem. amphetamine is used to treat sadness or depression. it caused me to have unrealistic, positive hopes and thoughts about the world's future, with an interest in geomagnetism or the weather, thinking that i was, or that maybe i was supposed to work a miracle, not thinking that God would want to use me as a way of creating something weird and confusing for everyone. i was also confused thinking that maybe i really didn't have any responsibility, or that what i was doing really didn't matter, because i was not officially together with anyone who was indicating that they knew about me. i wouldn't expect me to accomplish anything really good for the community, if no one who was indicating that they knew who i was, socialized with me, being friendly, publicly, giving me or other people an opportunity to shine. don't be surprised if you create a weird confused freak. i thought that george h. w. bush was part of some kind of imaginary hocus pocus, abracadabra world organization, which was about "prophecy", which knew something about me, which was about benevolence or charity. i am sure that many people have thought all kinds of crazy, untrue crap about the bush family, and skull and bones, and that the bush family would agree with me. i thought that the fact that bush lived in houston was a sign, because i also live in houston. i was young and naive, like a child
as far as northern trust bank goes, i wasn't interested in banks or banking, not at all, and i did nothing unethical. i didn't drive to a bank. i wasn't thinking of a bank or banks. i saw a sign for nothern trust bank in the elevator at george h. w. bush' office. i drove to george h. w. bush's office in 2005 to drop off some sentimental items, i think mostly because i just wanted to see what his office looked like, but also because i felt awkward in public, wanting to feel secure, knowing that i had a weird drug problem, wanting to feel as if i could be liked or accepted even though i knew that people knew that i had a weird drug problem, thinking that maybe i was a part of some kind of network of people who did unique work for the world. i used to think about being able to have a cool job, being able to help people in a unique way. i wanted to think that i wouldn't always be isolated, confused and sad, and that i could be around people at a job. weird mental problem because of what this black guy had been doing to me for years, being aggressive in a weird way, plus other experiences, combined with a weird drug problem, methamphetamine. i used to feel and think that i could not do anything without it. i did some studying for several years. in 2006, when i was in a car as a passenger, going to get vietnamese food, just happening to be driving by a northern trust bank location on bering drive in houston, texas, this black man's reaction (aggression toward me) to the driver (nothing unethical) stating something about northern trust bank and a minimum investment of 5 million dollars caused me to react to the black man. i think that the black man was wanting me to understand some point about 50 (messiah) or 5 (5 + 0), or me not having a special involvement with george h. w. bush, but i misunderstood what he meant by it. i thought that i was being told by this black man, who i didn't know was an ignorant black man, that northern trust bank was something good for the world, and that i was supposed to be involved in it. i was excited about it, but didn't understand exactly how it would work, thinking at the time that i should just keep it to myself and have faith. he knew immediately that he confused me, and then made a sick, childish, disrespectful joke about it, with me not understanding what he was doing at the time. now i do understand. i didn't understand that he was an ignorant black man. i thought that he was something with special knowledge about me and the future. i am glad that i communicated about northern trust bank eventually, because it was causing me to act weird, publicly, with me thinking that i had to keep it to myself, stuck in an awkward situation. i didn't want to communicate it at first, because i didn't think that i was supposed to, and also because i didn't have all of the answers. people would have probably gone "so what is this?! and what is that?! what are you?! and who is that?!" there is absolutely no need for panic. i know what i am communicating about, when i communicate about this person who i now know is an ignorant black man, i have 26 years experience. i thought that the meaning was that many wealthy people were going to invest at northern trust bank, which would generate money or interest or whatever you would call it, so that all banks, or so that all people would benefit. i believed, or wanted to believe, that antarctica, because i was young and naive, and because of what this black man did to me, was going to be a good place to be, something which would bridge this period of development with the next period of development, because of an ice age. then i tried to protect people from the bank after i thought that something about it didn't seem right. there is proof with a black woman who used to work at a northern trust bank location on kirby drive, houston, texas (beginning of 2011). i took her a letter which i had typed and mailed to the northern trust legal department in chicago in 2010 or 2011. i explained in the letter that private information was made public, thinking that my house had been broken into. i don't think anymore that my house was broken into. i am glad that i communicated about northern trust eventually. i was feeling weird about it for 3 years (2006 to 2009). northern trust bank is not involved in anything shady, there is no reason for alarm. it was just a misunderstanding. it wasn't my initial thought or idea. this black man knew that he had confused me, and didn't or doesn't want to take responsibility for it, lying with black women about my character because they have embarrassed themselves. i thought that everything which i was doing had some special meaning which it didn't. i had started to write a screenplay, and i thought that i was supposed to share information about northern trust bank with johnny depp, thinking that it was my duty. i have not been interested in writing a screenplay since 2013. i shredded all of the work. i sent 84 pages of work to the viper room in 2010. it was a start, and i was going to go back over the dialogue. i was happy with the scene by scene structure. i didn't communicate in the letter to johnny depp that i received unusual communication from this black man, or anything about antarctica. i just stated that i saw a sign for northern trust bank in the elevator at george h. w. bush's office when i went there in 2005, which is true. me seeing the sign for northern trust bank in the elevator is what the black man was referring to in 2006 when we drove by a northern trust bank location because he has my vision in his left eye. he mixed the bank with george h. w. bush's office, which confused me. i was implying to johnny depp that maybe it was a reputable or good bank, but i thought that people had to determine that on their own. i stated "i am not intentionally steering you in that direction, but you might want to check it out" or "i am not trying to intentionally steer you in that direction, but you might want to check it out". it is funny, because i thought that when i saw mr. depp giving the paparazzi the middle finger, some time after i sent him mail about northern trust bank, that it meant that he was stating to me that 14 and 41 were good; with me being 14 (hebrew letter 'nun'/messiah) and george h. w. bush being 41 (41st president of the united states), 1 finger up and 4 down. i don't think that johnny depp ever got my mail, because i sent it to the viper room, not knowing that he didn't work there anymore. people talk stupid crap about me, lying, stating that i did something unethical when i didn't do anything unethical. they insult me, trying to make it seem like i was trying to hustle my way into hollywood when i i wasn't doing that at all. my writing work was a completely separate issue. again, i thought that it was my duty to communicate something about northern trust bank to johnny depp, and that it was part of a bigger God plan for the world. i had the best of intentions and the black man was part of the issue. the black man confused me, but it doesn't matter, because i am not evil. this black man lies, stating that i reacted to the information about northern trust and 5 million dollars before he did. i didn't. he reacted to it, which caused me to react to him. i know that he lies because he has attacked me and people who he knows will defend me like a weird, crazy, insecure, evil, sadistic pig, wanting us to know that he was lying about the situation, making a smart ass, ugly, sick joke of it. he did or does this in order to try to humiliate people who rightfully criticize him.
i wasn't wanting paris hilton to give me money. i liked, and still like to earn my own money. i got stuck in an unusual, awkward, confusing public situation in a grocery store in 2008, thinking that a white woman who was standing behind me in the checkout line one night was giving me a dumb look, wanting to insult me and hilton, wanting to take away my pride, so i reacted to this in a defensive, confused way, and did nothing wrong, with people knowing that i did nothing wrong. i had pride in my own work and own money which i was earning. now i think that the white woman was only flirting a little bit with me. i just misunderstood what was happening all around me at the time. i reacted to the look she had on her face, and then needed to take change out of the change dish in the grocery store, needing to pull the change toward me, thinking of my own jobs, my own money, my own pride, but mixed with a thought about hilton and i having worth or value together, since i thought that the woman was insulting us, and it got all confused. i pulled the change out of the metal change dish slightly more aggressively than normal, but you wouldn't have known that unless you were sensing it. it was confused for 1 or 2 seconds, because the more i thought that i wasn't a problem with money, the more it would seem as if there was a problem, when there wasn't, so my mind reacted by being more aggressive, not wanting to take it out slowly, as if there was a problem or as if i had been thinking of doing something wrong. it confused me because i am not a money problem, so i talked about it when i got back to my apartment about 10 minutes later. then the next day this weird, childish, creepy, fake, evil, sadistic, stupid, ugly attitude black women who i am in activity with assaulted me, non verbal/verbal communication, at the same store, knowing that i did nothing wrong, knowing that other people knew that i did nothing wrong, wanting to try to separate me from being loved and earning money. she wanted to humiliate me, weird cruelty in public, knowing that i did nothing wrong, and that it was just an unusual situation. i called her a name. she deserved to be called a name. i was trying to be funny about it. i also apologized to innocent black women, with me thinking that they got their feelings hurt. then unfortunately, a bunch of black women turned fake, childish, mean and evil, pretending as if they thought that i was the problem because they were confused, or because that one black woman had embarrassed them. they should move on with their lives. the irony is that i have had so much trouble with trouble with females, since 2008, because i was wanting to lift the spirit of a female, hilton, being loving, having written to her when she was in jail in 2007. i felt sorry for her, seeing a photograph of her crying in the back of a police car.
paris hilton should not have been playing unnecessary, childish, cryptic games with me, or other people, having sent me several things back through the mail, cryptic junk, wanting to toy with me in public, wanting attention, knowing that i lack privacy in the way which i do. also, weird, childish, cryptic phone calls from her, toying with me and everyone else, with her wanting attention. she didn't conclude it in a respectful, civil way, acting as if she cared about trying to create long term order for the community. she was more interested in childishly, greedily entertaining herself (and probably her sister). it seems like she wanted to harm my reputation if i was not promoting her, like she has trouble promoting herself. she preyed on me, publicly. she wanted to see if she could use me, and so she tried to, and she thought that it started to work, but then it didn't work for her, because she was only playing cheesy, childish games in public, and not communicating anything substantial or conclusive with the use of words. she has done so much unnecessary harm to so many people, all over the world, creating so much unnecessary confusion and tension, like the way i feel at this moment typing this, playing childish, disrespectful, rich kid games. i wasn't a fan of hers, i was neutral.
as far as thule.org goes, i didn't have an interest in, nor was i, or am i, an advocate of white supremacy. in fact, i tried to protect black people in 1997, when i inadvertently learned something about antarctica and the third reich, back in 1997, thinking that i was going to be murdered, right before i was checked into the psychiatric ward at the houston michael debakey va hospital for the first time. i have knowingly tried to help black or colored people at other times, too. the person who shared information with me, an internet file about antarctica and the third reich, wasn't looking for something about white supremacy, either. i think that you can find the same file by searching 'omega file' on the internet. i would rather just have a beer and bratwurst, than to read that entire file. i haven't read all of it, and i am not telling other people that they should read all of it. people knew about this information back around 2002 or 2003, but some of them will probably now play dumb, lying about my heart or character. thule can simply be the name of a hyperborea. planet earth would be a thule. so would another inhabitable planet somewhere else. i shared information about thule.org to the public, in the past, and anyone could have contacted the person there. i was, and am still not hiding anything. people knew this, but after they embarrassed themselves, starting in 2008, they went back into my past, being fake and socially lame, trying to make it seem like i didn't have a good heart or that i was a mean white supremacist when i am definitely not. i believe that the guy who i used to email at thule.org was trying to help people, but i didn't know him that well. the person who shared information with me about antarctica and the third reich was actually looking for information about the ark of the covenant. also, antarctica is not a german project anymore. it is an american project, as with operation high jump (1947). i communicated about this many times in the past. it was my hope and thought that it was, or is, diverse. i believe that it is. the irony is that i thought that i was being told that i was involved with antarctica, or that maybe that i was involved is something in antarctica, which i believed or wanted to believe was something positive and diverse, by this black man who i have communicated about, who was trying to motivate me to do something, who i didn't know was an ignorant black man. now i do know that he is an ignorant black man. i also know now that he is an evil, weird, childish, insecure back stabber. they now have documentaries on television about antarctica and the third reich. i wanted to help people, everyone, and i knowingly had a dream about love and diversity, wanting to think that God was a loving God, thinking that it was what america and i were all about, thinking that it was the only thing which made sense, and people knew this because i spoke out loud about it many, many times, trying to understand and explain my situation. i have never communicated with anyone about hating jews or blacks or any type of person who wasn't white, and i wouldn't communicate with anyone who was wanting to communicate with me about doing this.
i had also given paris hilton my old email address and password, hoping that she would help me print the messages which i had saved from thule.org, thinking that i wanted to try to work some of them into the screenplay which i was working on. i sent her $20 for her time. i never got any printed work, and i never got $20 back. i wasn't doing anything shady. i would have been willing to share my email with everyone. i was excited about working on the screenplay and i was also wanting to establish trust and openness with everyone, since i lack privacy. i didn't think about how it could put put paris hilton in an awkward situation, and i apologize to her for that. i didn't think that it mattered, since i lack privacy all of the time, and since people know what i am doing all of the time, and since people know that i am not evil. i didn't have a computer which was online, or a printer, at the time that i asked hilton to help me. i didn't get into computers and smart phones like everyone else did when they came out. i hardly get any email. i really don't have anyone who i associate with, except now for my girlfriend. i thought that hilton wanted to be closer to me than she did in the past, because of the way which she communicated cryptic, childish crud. i was not telling her to hate blacks or jews or anyone.
i don't think that it should matter that i communicate anything more about this really old crap. i think that people get all excited because it involves famous people, or a bank. it isn't important and it isn't exciting because i am not evil. full stop. it is boring because i am a guy who must tell the truth all of the time, because he lacks privacy in the way which he does. i have been telling the truth, not wanting to do anything else but tell the truth, since i started to communicate out loud in 2002. i have also never lied when communicating on the internet. i have gone way, way out of my way to always tell the truth, about everything in my life, and people mock me for it. all of this crap isn't important, because i am not evil or dishonest. it can become a way for people to gossip about something, wanting others to think that they are more important or interesting than they are.
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i am very sorry if this information confuses you. i know that everyone is tired of my internet work. i am tired of it, too. i am tired of people harassing and bullying me. weird, childish, blatantly abusive sadism, harassing and bullying everyone else, too. i don't want to think about antarctica or whatever. i want to finish this cup of sleepy time extra tea, and take my dog for a walk, thinking about the microwave dinner which i have, and am blessed to have. people should stop playing games, bringing up my past, when they knew that i was just naive and confused, and that i didn't want to hurt anyone. i still don't want to hurt anyone. don't unnecessarily involve me in your social lives. give me a break.
i wish that the government or some authoritative body would put out an official, public statement, which would make it seem like it was ok for me to be accepted, the entire world should know about it. it can have a positive effect. am i supposed to be demonized? why? there are people in jail, or who have been executed for having done much worse things than i have done, or ever would do. please don't make a mockery of my honesty.
a few people are treating me in such a weird, abusive manner, because they don't want it to seem like i love, or because they don't want me to be loved. they think that they can't survive socially, so they don't want me to be able to survive socially. they are like people who would violently steal a loaf of bread from a person who had been waiting in line for a loaf of bread. uncivil. like (weird/crazy/mean) "it ain't yours! it's mine!"
maybe they will figure out that people should openly speak with me next time, being friendly.
basically, i am saying "take this job and shove it." don't expect me to do something positive for the public, when you don't act like you care about at least trying to protect me from weirdos who are out there. they are evil, childish and sadistic.
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ignorant people don't understand how sadistic and sleazy this mexican girl and black guy are, or whatever they represent. star system? they seem to be some kind of alien in the body of a human on earth. i think that the same is true of other people on earth. i wish that the government would let me know that scientists and the military are working on it. i wouldn't be surprised if scientists and the military already work on it, just not what people ordinarily know about. it is a disgusting creature with a disgusting personality. evil, sadistic and sleazy. it is horrible to be stuck with. you would want to be put to sleep, but you would want it to be a respected, official, public thing, so that the community would benefit. i don't want confusion next time. why would you?
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it is what happens when weird, childish people think that they can get away with stalking a famous person. if the government or someone else officially, publicly defended me, then this wouldn't have happened. the people who are bullying me and everyone else assume that no one will ever officially, publicly defend or protect me, so they taunt people.
i think that if an official public statement would be made about me, that it would serve to cause the conflict in the middle east to begin to cease. i have already stated this. it would cause jewish folk and arab folk and christian folk to think about what they had in common, christ or a messiah. most people don't know that jesus is a part of the koran, even thought i don't understand it, also thinking that muslims don't understand it, either. making a statement about me being here would cause them and other people to be more open minded and tolerant of each other. it would be the beginning of a new phase. they don't even know why they are fighting anymore. religion, related to holy scripture, can be thought of as outdated, impractical, and an unnecessary cause for conflict. update it. i don't care about what people do, as long as it is not considered illegal in whatever place they live. it is ironic that where there is probably the greatest concentration of diverse religious influence on earth (mid east), related to christ or a messiah, there is also the greatest concentration of conflict. people use the concept of religion as a way to manipulate others because of their own personal greed. they can imply that, because holy scripture is interpretive, that they can choose to interpret it anyway they choose to, and that they still have the authority of God. we should create a new version of religion, or something "religious", which is much easier to understand or interpret.
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i would like for the police to come to my home and speak with me in front of everyone. it would comfort and assure me. it would be very easy for them to get my address and phone number. i would like to know that they have made a statement to the public about the fact that they know about my situation, and also that people are in agreement that there is a problem, and that there shouldn't be a problem. i think that there is a strong possibility that i will be murdered, probably when i get older with failing health, or possibly sooner. are the police going to look back at my website, after a murder investigation is started, and think "wow, we didn't try to do anything"? i know that the police know about what is going on. it confuses and scares me to think that they won't at least TRY to help. ignorant people really don't understand what type of horrible, horrible gossip is going to come out of this, because of other people's behavior, even if i myself don't communicate on the internet about it. these creatures who are stalking everyone are evil and sadistic. it wants the attention which i get, wanting to use the 144,000, and others, as a form of media. weird psychological problem. like terrorist behavior. some kind of nasty thug, criminal like animal or something mixed with a human. you could try to create a psychological deterrent, publicly. in other words, if the police think that the community would have a problem with a statement being made about me, the community would have to grow up, and face the fact that i am here, and that people are causing a problem, and that i have a right to have a peaceful, happy life, just like everyone else. i don't care if the police think that it will make waves. why would it? i am not after evil money and i don't want to give speeches. i would just like a little respect, and peace, please. people play games when they think that they can pretend as if they don't know about it. like someone pretending as if they don't know that there is work to be done, lollygagging. people can pretend as if they don't have to act like they care.
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i wish that the u.s. government would make the people know that this public situation is being documented
and that it will be studied, for the protection of the world. you can't do any studying unless people are publicly open about communicating about what is going on. i bet rome tried to sweep it under the rug, too. these 2 creatures, who i have referred to in the 'for your information' section of this website, who are in human bodies, are something WEIRD, evil and very, very mean (sadistic), like what you would see on a show of star trek. this is not a joke. i don't mean to be funny. it should be taken very seriously. this creature (singular, even though we are absolutely sure that it is 2 different people) is attempting to establish psychological dominance on earth, even though i think that it thinks that it can't. it is confused, like an animal, so it is reacting in a confused, violent way, feeling like it is being confined, or trapped, desperately trying to survive. it seems to think that it won't be able to be happy. it is attempting to create negative gossip about me and this situation to last for a long time, so that i will have a lesser chance of survival, now, and in my future incarnations, so that it thinks that it can survive. it isn't smart though, because it won't have any long term power if i am not alive, life after life, because it can't be known unless i am alive. it wants to believe that it is connected to, or has the support of, a dominant evil alien force, when i don't think that it does, and which i don't think it thinks that it does, either. it is bluffing. i am sure about this. people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with know this, too. people should know that the military and police have been informed. everyone should know what is going on, and that no one is trying to keep it a secret because they are confused, insecure or scared.
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the very few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with who are acting up aggressively are trying to fool other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't speak english, into thinking that people who speak english think that i did something really wrong in the past, or that i have an attitude problem, when i didn't, and don't. the people being unnecessarily aggressive have the attitude problem. their intent is to intentionally, constantly irritate me, so that i can't think clearly, or be healthy and popular, publicly. they are doing this because they are unpopular. not only are they evil and childish, they are weird and sadistic. they are trying to make it seem like anyone who defends me is evil, or should be thought of as unpopular, while at the same time intentionally trying to get people to defend me. it is a scheme which won't work. their own personal, selfish social problems are not above the welfare of the community, in general, and i know that the community thinks the same.
i wish that the united states government would publicly, officially, initiate an investigation into what is going on, because it is in the interest of long term national and/or global security. at least try to get control of the gossip. we don't want long term negative or confusing gossip on earth. everyone should know that everyone knows about this situation, so that there are no surprises or unnecessary bias from ignorant people in the community. if it doesn't seem to people that it should be easily, officially accepted, or celebrated, it can create confused feelings and gossip. what is important are my rights, just like i was any other person on earth. i think that people only want to think of a divine aspect of christ, and not the human aspect. everyone is fully divine and fully human. scientists should be put to work on this matter, in general, so as to study it, and understand how it will continue to work in future incarnations.
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oh well, back to being defenseless.
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it is like i am being raped, violated, desperately trying to fight something really horrible off of me and other people. i also suffer from fatigue. the few people who are acting up want to bully me and other people, using this situation as a form of media.
can you help? can you get the police or someone to officially, publicly defend me?
i think that when i die, that people will think that there was really nothing wrong with me, and that i was put into a horribly confusing situation.
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i wanted to explain a little more about norther trust bank. this black guy is obviously lying about what happened, also putting pressure on black women to lie about it. he tells them that he will lie for them, if they lie for him. it is a bunch of stupid, unnecessary racial hate crap toward me. i am sure that he and black women will want to make an even bigger mockery of my honesty and hard work.
refer to the post above about northern trust bank. it is the part after george h. w. bush.
i don't want to communicate about this next part, because the black guy or other dishonest people think that it gives them something to lie about. i have already honestly communicated about it, more than once. when i was driving by the northern trust bank in 2006, as a passenger, when the driver of the car mentioned something about northern trust bank, and a minimum deposit of 5 million dollars, the black guy referred to the right, or east side of my body, which i thought meant something about God, or sun, or the world. something positive. also i thought that it had something to do with the shriner's recognition test. the bank was on the left, or west side of the street. he was just telling me to get out of bush's office, or to get away from george h. w. bush, since the sign for northern trust bank was in bush's office. that was stupid and irresponsible though, since he knew that he (the black guy) was the main reason why i was in george h. w. bush's office, because of the letter which i wrote to bush in 2002, and also that i wanted to help people, and that i was just confused, with a bad, really weird drug problem, which this black guy made worse and worse because, actually, he thought that it was interesting for me to get him high. the black guy thought that he had created a problem for himself, playing unnecessary games, so he tried to put it off on me. that is what he does. he is a very childish, very insecure black man, with a serious attitude problem. the black guy mixed the bank and george h. w. bush's office together, because there was a sign for northern trust bank in the elevator of george h. w. bush's old office. after he created a mess which he didn't know that he was going to create, causing me to write about northern trust bank to california, he lied and stated that i was thinking something about california, or the west, and that it was the reason he stimulated me on the right side of my body, or the east. he is lying, saying that i was the one who reacted to the driver's statement about a minimum investment of 5 million dollars, when it was his reaction to what the driver stated. he thinks that he can get away with being evil and fake, because he thinks that he can make up any story he wants to, because he is not communicating with the use of conclusive statements, using words. he implies that he doesn't have to work (communicate), just like other people do, and that he deserves special treatment, like he is some kind of God or something. he is an ignorant, incompetent, weird human. he is not a God.
i know that some, or the majority of black women have stated that they don't like him. so he tries to humiliate them. he also tries to humiliate me, but he doesn't. he implies that black women are not allowed to act like they like me, or that they are not allowed to indicate that they like white men, or that they are not allowed to indicate that they like a white man more than a black man. he is an insecure, weird, creepy, childish black man.
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it would mean that christ has more needs that an ordinary human, because of the unusual, confusing, awkward situation which he is placed in, publicly. in my next life, i wish that people would let me know early on, like when i am around 10 years old, who i am, and that i have responsibility. kings and queens are groomed. they are also a product of their environment.
i am thinking about this again, thinking that i am contradicting myself, when i am communicating on the one hand that i am not so important, and on the other hand, wanting to be groomed and respected as a king. it is confused, because i don't want people to be able to assault me, getting away with it. make a big deal of this, so that it isn't a big deal. i think that if modern technology were used as a way of informing the public about what i am, that people would lose interest in it, or think that it is not so important, and that is ok. think of people thinking of DNA codons. it is interesting at first, but then people don't care so much about it. they just accept it as a part of life.
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it can be a normal social behavior, but i don't like the idea that people don't want to give me power, publicly, because people think that it takes power away from them. that is greed. we should share power.
i don't think that i would be communicating any of this if a few people were not stalking and harassing me, wanting to humiliate me, publicly.
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why do i state "take this job and shove it"? would people expect the president of the united states to effectively be able to do his job, a public position, if he didn't have security or protection? would people expect a person who works for tv news media, a public position, to be able to go on air, doing a good job, if they didn't have security or protection at the tv station? would people expect famous person in entertainment, a public position, to be able to do a good job, or do deliver a good speech, if they didn't have security or protection at the venue where they were? no, they wouldn't. people would think that they need security and protection from weird, childish, mean people who have mental problems. people are deterred from doing weird, rude, creepy things because they know that there is security or a form of protection for certain people. if some authoritative body at least tried to protect me from weird, childish, socially lame, sadistic stalkers, it would help. the weird, childish, socially lame sadistic stalkers assume that no one will ever officially, publicly protect me. weird, childish, socially lame people are trying to humiliate me, and anyone who is christ like, because they think that i am, or we are, more than there are. it is a form of weird terrorism. they want attention. it is impossible for me to be able to function properly, or do develop properly. this is not some fairy tale about jesus being a happy, loving, peaceful person. i tried to love people, but some of them don't love back, in fact they want to harm people who are happy. in fact they mock people who are loving. they are miserable, and want to spread misery. i wouldn't care so much about it, if were not being bullied every day. ignorant people really don't understand what i mean when i state that the people who are acting aggressively are childish and sadistic. like freaks or insane, creepy homeless people, begging for something from other people. it makes me think of the movie "escape from new york", with the people who are called the "crazies", living in the sewer system. they are also like john travolta and the girl who he bullied carrie with in the movie "carrie". it is also like biff in the movie "back to the future". it is also like the bug in the move "men in black".
this is a form of media. some people cause problems like people getting behind the person who is being photographed, making rude signs or whatever.
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why would i want to love, when i don't feel loved, because no one who is indicating that they know who i am comes up to me and says "hi josh. i know about what is going on, and i wanted to say good luck and God bless you"? i don't want to be in a weird, stupid, imaginary relationship with people, which doesn't mean anything. i want to be in real relationships with people, like my mother or my girlfriend or my dogs. why would i care about being loved, when basically i am in a bad, weird, uncomfortable mood most of the time, because no one who is indicating that they know who i am communicates in a friendly way with me, acting like they are trying to protect me? like i stated, this is not going to be a fairly tale about jesus loving people and being in a good mood all of the time, no matter how bad he is being blatantly shit on, publicly, by people with weird personality disorders. you are not giving me an official job, publicly.
they are trying to fool ignorant people about what i am like, trying to make it seem like i am crazy or weird or unfriendly. they are crazy, weird and unfriendly.
these people take incredibly childish, incredibly ugly, incredibly stupid, incredibly mean cheap shots at me all day long, every day. like they are making a sick joke about the fact that they know that they are the problem, but also that they have something to lie about. it is a form of torture. this is not a joke. this is not funny. this is not healthy for the world. these people are weird, childish, evil, sadistic freaks. they want people to think that they are humiliating me, when actually they aren't, or won't. they want to humiliate a special person, publicly, because of how little they think of themselves. that doesn't mean that i am stuck up.
the few people who in am in constant 24/7 activity with, who are acting up, being unnecessarily aggressive every day, are like crazy homeless people. like they are begging for change, or begging for someone to give them something.
i know that this situation is difficult for people. hang in there. you will get stronger.
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i am trying to defend myself and the community while basically being defenseless. that is why it looks weird or obnoxious.
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here is a houston, texas police report which i created on 12/01/2016.
the incident number is: 1528227-16
the officer's name: E. Estep
unit #: 20G52N
officer Estep works out of the west side command station.
i would like to create another report, or add to the existing report.
i think that people could think that they have a better chance of getting away with murdering me if there is already an existing report. go figure.
the report is filed under some mental health category which shouldn't be filed under mental health.
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i have been blatantly made sick, confused and HEARTBROKEN by a few evil, childish, sadistic people who didn't want to feel that i was more liked or loved than they were, publicly. being with them is like experiencing a dog get jealous or envious when the dog thinks that you are closer to someone else, or paying more attention to someone else. they don't care if people know what they are doing, or that they are evil, childish and sadistic. they just indicate to people that they don't want me to have more than they do, publicly. these few people who are acting up, being unnecessarily aggressive, are taunting me, other poeple, the police, the government, etc. it is what happens when a public person is not protected.
no one could take this crap. not christ, not superman, no one. you would fight back, too.
the thule.org issue was confused because of how i initially thought that everything was more important or better than it was because of unique experience with the supernatural. i had no interest in harming anyone. if there had really been an opportunity for me to really do something wrong, i wouldn't have. it is confused because i wanted to believe that there is a happy ending, with me having wanted to be happy in public, and that there is a good purpose to everything which happens. i wanted to be able to have faith, since i lack privacy in the manner which i do. maybe i am a fool. i wouldn't have thought that black people thought that there was a problem because i knew that they already knew that i wasn't a problem because of my experiences and communication. why would i have not included people who i knew that i was in constant 24/7 activity with? i wouldn't have.
i am sorry that people have to be stuck in the middle of it. it is old and unimportant.
i didn't want to think that i had enemies, not the government (what is the government?), not blacks, no one, since i knew that i lacked privacy. i didn't think that God would want me to have enemies, or to think that i have enemies, so that made me think that everything was good, or was going to work out in a good way. it was a child like fairy tale, also thinking that there was more prophecy than there is. i thought about a happy ending for everyone, diversity,
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sorry if white people were offended by me stating something about white supremacists being dumb and unfriendly, i am not a part of either 2 extremes, unfriendly white versus unfriendly black, or unfriendly black versus unfriendly white. i am in the middle, and want to be with different types of people.
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love is learned, just like hate is.
it is interesting how they made jesus so much, but really because he was shown love and respect at birth, just like any child should be loved and respected. i sincerely tried to lead with love, but i was mocked and made fun of, treated in an evil, weird, childish abusive way by a few people who are not loving, with them wanting to taunt others. they didn't want me to seem like a loving person because they envy me being shown love, publicly.
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the people who are causing a problem for the community are like the people who took all of the toilet paper at the beginning of covid 19. they panic and are greedy, causing a problem for everyone else. there is pressure on me to do something for the community, even if that is just remaining calm and obeying the law, and i am telling you that it is impossible for me to remain calm, publicly, since i lack privacy in the way which i do, and because of the unique way which i can be assaulted. they don't want me to look good or be liked or loved because they don't want it to seem like me or others have more than they do. division of society but i am not trying to create the division. they are trying to get more people on their side of the division. i don't want there to be a division.
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i am not the one with the mental problem. the people who are stalking me and everyone else, including the government, have the mental problem. they are weird. they are like evil children who don't want me to have any friends.
this situation is confusing, because i lack privacy, and because i know that people are communicating about what is going on, a problem. the natural tendency is to fight back, because it gives you a sense of dignity and peace. you don't understand how evil, childish, creepy and sleazy they are. i can't get away from these people. if the government would step in, and do some fighting for me, letting people know that there is evidence or testimony that i am being stalked and harassed, it would help. this situation is like a few kids in middle school acting obnoxious toward the teacher, without any way of enforcing discipline. there is no order. not for the government, either. it goes beyond what would be referred to as obnoxious behavior. it is unusual cruelty. they want to confine people to them and then do something like molesting them. like being kidnapped. like weird criminals who you would see a story on tv about. i have a job to do, but i can't do it. i keep trying and trying, but it is impossible because of the way which i am being assaulted, or because of the way which these people can get to me. they want to make me look bad because they envy they way which they know that i would have made people feel if they weren't obstructing. they think that i would be more popular than they would be if they left me alone, and they don't like it. it is very child like. like an evil child. it doesn't seem like their brains develop properly. no empathy for others. none. it is bizarre and scary. i wish that the government would launch an official public investigation. it is some kind of alien force affecting business on earth. the same was true of jesus and whatever else.
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noah's narc? the grand narcitect of the universe? the narc of the covenant?
ordinarily, at a company where people who have something in common work together successfully, there is an application process. people who work successfully together at the same place are first vetted. in this situation, people do not necessarily have something in common, or a desire to do honest work. that is why there is a problem. some people want to do honest work and some people don't care about it. i do care about it.
i wish that the NAACP could get involved. black girls need strong, public black leadership. they need to take responsibility for the problem which they created for themselves, not trying put it on me, especially when i am honest, and because i have already shown black people genuine love.
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this black guy and mexican girl are hoping that someone beats me over the head with a rock when i am a child, killing me in my next life. hey. whatever works. that's ok. they won't have any power.
is there such a thing as separation of church and state? how does one define church? how does one define God?
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it is not a matter of my ignoring these constant, all day long assaults. it is a matter of it being impossible to function. they don't want you to understand that.
why would i care about being liked, when my thoughts and feelings are being knowingly violated in the way which they are?
it is fascinating to witness how this black man is insecure. he is weird and insecure, but tries to play it off like he is cool, like some weak, fake, cheesy black guys do. he is putting pressure on black girls who he thinks are weak like him to act like they like him, even when they don't. he holds black girls, or black people in general, hostage. he has an attitude like "ah nah, don't act like you like a white boy. just act like you like a stupid black man." really. he is childish, blatant and obnoxious about it.
these people are confining me to them. all of this information in this section of my website doesn't mean that i am an angry person. it means that i am trying to defend myself and others, so that there is peace, but when i am defenseless. i am trying to get people to stop with the unnecessary aggression, or to cause them to realize that their stupid lies about me won't work. unfortunately, because they are blatantly fake, they don't care. what these people are doing is unusual cruelty.
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i understand if people think that my statement about you not having to like me, or me not having to like you is confusing. it has confused me for a few weeks because deep down i want to feel like i am a big brother, or the younger brother, or like family to the community. i think that some lady was trying to help me, stating something about a "system". i can agree with her, but part of the system involves giving christ love, and not just giving him confusion, or not just getting something valuable for yourself. this is the real life situation, not some imaginary christ in church. i am being shown blatant weird childish hate by some people, publicly, for whatever their personal problem reason is. i am a loving person in general. i think that other people usually are, too. humor is always good. one way to think about it is that there has to be a reason to like or love a person, which you can let them know about. i don't really feel likeable lately because of the way which i am kept in a constantly irritated, aggravated state of being. people are doing this to me intentionally, so that i don't seem like a loving person, because they don't want me to have more love or appreciation than them. christ can understandably give people a social problem because it can seem as if he is more important or better than they are. it can give them a personal problem. i have thought about not saying "hi" to anyone anymore, because it makes me sad and confused. these people who acting up are evil, childish and sadistic, taunting everyone about how they can get away with it. they want people to know that i am innocent, but also that they have some "excuse" to harm me, or obstruct my life. if i was closer to people who were indicating that they knew who i was, there would be more opportunity to communicate and to find something good in common. the statement about people not having to like me and me not having to like them is confused because of this situation. i want to feel as if i am doing something good or loving for people. it helps me cope. no one who indicates that they know who i am communicates to me. it is starving my soul. no self actualization. my basic need for peace and security, which everyone needs to be healthy, doesn't exist. i can't reflect on anything really peaceful and happy, because of how i am constantly, intentionally interrupted or threatened. no one could develop properly that way. it is difficult to think of love when you don't feel loved, or when hate is being directed at you. not being loved means that it can be more difficult to love. usually it is team work. i don't like the thought of people acting like i have to defy the law of physics or something in order to prove that i am who i am. that isn't fair. that isn't realistic. i am human. you need to have a better appreciation for the human aspect of christ.
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i sent this message today to the guy who used to be at thule.org. i don't expect him to respond with email. just because i sent an email, doesn't mean that i am involved with thule.org, or wanting to be involved with thule.org.
'hi. it would be helpful for me and the community if the thule.org website was online. it is affects national/international security. it confuses people, and can create unnecessary problems for the community, when it isn't online. like it or not, you are involved in a public situation.
respectfully.
josh'