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For those people who have not already been made aware of this, independently of this website, I am in a constant 24/7 activity with a small group of people (144,000) who are situated all over the world. I don't understand it exactly, but it is related to the design and creation of the great pyramid of Gizeh. Look at link (144,000) in the 'for your information' section of this website. In other words, our central nervous systems are somehow fused. They can sense that i am typing at this moment, even though they are situated in different places all over the world. They could also sense that I was drinking a cup of coffee, if I was doing that right now. I am not currently in activity with 144,000 people. Some have died from old age. Some I am not in activity with yet. Apparently, some of these people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with were sensing me as a fetus, when i was still in my mother's womb. I think that i am joined with these other people because of something relating to the sun, other stars (most notably the constellation of Orion), the design of the great pyramid, and electromagnetism. It means that what is happening in our minds, or central nervous systems, also exists somewhere else, in order for the fusion to be taking place in the manner which it is. I believe that the water in our systems acts as a conductor. I believe that the same was true of Jesus of Nazareth; meaning, that this same connectivity with others is what actually distinguished him from other people. Read in the 'for your information' section about 144 and 72, or the story of Jesus and the 72 in the book of Luke. Also the story of Horus battling Set (Sat-an) and 72 conspirators in Egyptian mythos. I am not stating that Jesus of Nazareth and the Egyptian Set (Sat-an) are the same being. 72 is 1/2 of 144, with there being 1440 minutes in one day. The story of Jesus of Nazareth in the bible is mostly allegorical, although he was a real person in real history. The constant 24/7 activity can be, at times, maddening, for both me and the people who are sensing me. I believe that the 144,000 is some type of star seed. Constellation of Orion, astrology, 12 x 12 x 1000. Look at links below. Star seed is not necessarily "positive". I was 24 years old (1997), when it first became evident to me that I was, or am, in this unique, constant 24/7 activity with people. I am not schizophrenic. Then, in February of 1998, I started to sense an intelligent being communicating to me, with the use of physical contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which meant that this being began to sense me first. It is a form of non verbal communication. This happened, in a way, exactly as it was predicted by something known as the Ussher chronology. Beginning of 1000 years (6000 years = 4004 BC to 1996 AD). Look at links in the 'for your information' section of this website. It also means that other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with can sense, or were also sensing this intelligent being. It was extremely confusing at first. Madness. Isolation from the community. Hopelessness mixed with confused faith. 13 years later, in May of 2011, I started to sense another intelligent being communicating with me, with the same type of physical contractions of my muscle and soft tissue. It was, and still is, easily differentiated by me, and also the entire worldwide group who are sensing it, from the communication from the first intelligent being. It was, or is, fainter and more frequent. A totally different person, with a totally different personality. Non verbal communication. Both of these beings wanted, or want, to make it apparent to me, and anyone else who they thought was sensing me, because of the type and timing of the physical contraction communication which they can generate, that they had my vision, or that they could see what i could see. It was, or is, sensed as a person who is sort of child like, who is in a type of shock, or stupor, and finding it fascinating. Like they are children watching cartoons on television. It is very easy to understand, through sensation or non verbal communication, that the first intelligent being which myself and the rest of the group began sensing was, or is, male. It is very easy to understand, through sensation or non verbal communication, that the second intelligent being which myself and the group began to sense was, or is, female. They are human, just like I am human. I know without a doubt that the female is Hispanic, now (in the year 2022) about 30 years old, probably still living in Houston, Texas. I have seen her about 6 times in different places in the Houston area, because she wanted me and the rest of the group to know that it was her, wanting me to talk about her, or that she was responsible for creating the sensations, in a way childishly showing off. She used to have a white SUV and restricted phone number in the year 2011. Height is probably about 5 feet or 4 feet 10 inches. Medium size breasts. Full figured. She had long brown or light brown hair. I believe that she lives inside of the Houston 610 loop area, or that her parents live inside of the Houston 610 loop area. I believe that this is true, because she was able to get to locations within the Houston 610 loop area, where I was, quickly, already knowing that I would be at the same location. She has an unusual issue with her left eye, which I have seen, which I believe is the eye which acquired my vision, being at the beginning of the fusion of our central nervous systems, right around the last week of may of 2011. I believe that she has a brother who owns, or who used to own a Dodge Charger. I saw this car when I dropped off paperwork at the downtown Houston police station, wanting to be respectful of her, trying to establish rights for both of us. I also saw the person who I think is her brother together with her at the Houston Veteran's Administration hospital, when I went there one time. She wanted me and other people to know that it was her. I know without a doubt that she is lying about this situation to her family. I can reasonably assume that the male being who can also create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which other members of the group (144,000) can sense, who also indicated that he has my vision, also has an unusual issue with his left eye. Meaning, the eye which acquired my vision in February of 1998. It took me 13 years (1998 - 2011) to be able to understand that this male being is an African American, and also that he is ignorant, not possessing extraordinary knowledge concerning me, or this situation, which I thought that he had prior to 2011.
I believe that these 2 people were characterized, or defined, as Set (Sat-an) and Nephthys in Egyptian mythos, in the past. I believe that I was characterized, or defined, as Horus (Christ) in Egyptian mythos, in the past. Look at links in the 'for your information' section of this website. I also believe that the male was characterized as Beelzebub during the time of Jesus of Nazareth.
After having enough experience, having been situated together with these 2 people for some time already, as stated, I can list some of their characteristics.
They are like people who are a type of mentally retarded. Constant stupor. Psychopathic. Sociopathic. Narcissistic. Childish. Evil. It flaunts being evil, seeming to try to recruit evil people. Hate. Anger. Envy. Jealousy. Greed. Problem with ego, or perhaps super ego. Negative. Angry. Sadistic. Nervous. Insecure. Creepy. It flaunts thinking that it is creepy. Attempts to intimidate. Vicious. Insane. Predatorial. Deceit. Perverted.
Even evil people wouldn't want anything to do with these beings. They have a mental problem.
Because they are naturally, or understandably, insecure about what people think about them, namely because of their unusual issue with their left eye, they embarrass and anger easily, ultimately having betrayed the community, desperately trying to make it seem like I was evil, or that people should think of me as evil, when I am not evil, and when they knew, or know, that I am not evil. They also childishly and sloppily imply that they have some authority which they don't think that they have, wanting to make a mockery of what would actually be considered responsible behavior, it seems because of panic, or greed, or not understanding how they should fit in with society. They seemed to want to try and associate in a cooperative way, when the activity with them first started. As time went on, they seemed confused about how to survive, socially, and long term, thinking that they had embarrassed themselves by having been unnecessarily aggressive.
They both seem to want ignorant people to believe, acting out in a childish, blatantly fake, confused, ignorant manner, that the eye above the pyramid on the dollar bill represents them, or that they have authority which they actually don't have. It is related, but the eye on the dollar bill seems to be the opposite of what they are. God is a loving God. They are not loving, and not only that, they are trying to make people think that God is not a loving God. They are also trying to fool people into thinking that i am not loving.
I have tried to help them. They should communicate to the public, or me, with actual words and conclusive statements, instead of trying to stupidly and wrongfully hustle their way into happiness, social success, power, or survival. There would be a commitment to cooperation which they would benefit from. They wanted, or want, to show off and play childish games. It got, or gets them intro social trouble. It seems like their minds never develop properly, in any incarnation of theirs, because they have my vision, and are constantly distracted by, or interested in what I am doing. They are not doing work like other people ordinarily do work, by not communicating with intelligent statements, which are easily understandable and conclusive. It got them into social trouble, or didn't, or doesn't, allow them to make a type of normal social progression. They seem to be implying that they are supposed to get unusual special treatment, or be worshipped because they are unusual, but they are lazy, childish and are constantly attempt to deceive, like someone who is criminally insane. They are disabled, and are trying to obtain something for themselves in an unethical, rude, bully style way. They seem to live in a fantasy world, fanaticizing about having happiness and power, but are unwilling to try to do work like people ordinarily do work, communicating using intelligent, conclusive, easily understandable statements, in order to achieve this happiness. They have a confused identity problem, seeming to want to settle for being different, and a foe, not wanting to try to make a more normal social progression on earth.
They seem to have an unusual need to feel loved, or respected, or accepted, or recognized. They have an unusual psychological problem, just as a few other people who i am constant 24/7 activity (144,000) with have proven themselves to have. These 2 people are trying to secure something for themselves, using their ability to create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which other people in the group (144,000) can sense, as a type of weapon. It is an attempt to subdue or incapacitate me, and other people, so that these 2 beings do not have to work as hard, or compete with others, as people ordinarily have to compete, or cooperate, with others. It seems as if they are doing this, really for the future incarnations which they think that they will have, not wanting me, or others worldwide, to achieve the potential in this life, because they think that it will make it better for themselves if I was considered unpopular. I think an attempt to have me murdered, in this life, or in future lives. They want to create frivolous gossip which they think will benefit them in making me seem unpopular. It seems as if they are both confused and angry, trying to create gossip which they think will help their chances of survival. They have a strange pride problem, or ego problem, like someone who feels special, but inferior, and is in a type of panic, then doing something irrational for attention. It is an angry, childish attitude, like "oh yeah, well i am somebody too!", or, "oh yeah, well i am going to show you who i am!" They think that i am special, or unique, so they have a confused desire to feel special, or unique, too.
i think that these creatures might have been a problem during Jesus Christ's time here on earth, or a distraction for him, but that it was not so bad that people communicated at length about it. I have thought that the biblical character Beelzebub was, or is, a way to refer to them, or at least the male. There were more opportunities for problems to arise in this incarnation of ours because of technology.
I have told both of them that it is better if we work together, and that they are creating a lose-lose situation for themselves and the community. It seems as if they both want, unrealistically, to be thought of as like stars, or celebrities. As I stated, they have a unusual ego problem. I have told them they they would have love and happiness in their lives if they didn't try to unnecessarily overshadow me, or other people as well. As time goes on, it doesn't seem as if they care about being loved anymore. They are confused about what people think about them.
I think that these 2 beings have something to do with the moon. I have read that scientists think that there used to be 2 moons. They have mental problems. It seems like their ability to create the contractions in my muscle and soft tissue relates to an electric charge, or a positive/negative charge, or electromagnetism. We don't feel electric shock, though. I have thought that maybe it has something to do with the moon (grey aliens?/I read that they don't have a soul), or reptilian entities which I have read about, or something about Alpha Draconis (constellation of Draco/Draconian/star corresponding to northern side of great pyramid).
I wish that scientists and other people would be informed about what is going on by people who who i am in constant 24/7 activity (144,000) with, who could prove that the constant 24/7 activity is real. They would have to include me and perform a test, publicly certified with television cameras and the police. They could put us in different rooms of a building, say something to me, with me being in one room of the building, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know what it was. Someone could touch me somewhere on my body not inappropriate, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know where on my body it was. Give me something to eat, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know what it was. It could be certified by the police. Television cameras were invented only 70 years ago. The eye (like a camera) connects everything, or allows for information to be gathered and processed. You could use it as an important tool like a microscope. For example, people who don't live in Egypt wouldn't know what the pyramids looked like, unless there were photographs of them. They couldn't understand it, or begin to understand it, or conceptualize it, or appreciate it. The use of a television camera to observe myself connected to the 144,000 would be like looking at a cell, through a powerful microscope. Objectivity. Science, and not religion. I think that it would be good for scientists, politicians, and future politicians to understand, because this constant 24/7 activity which I am in with others applies to people all over the world, not racially or territorially discriminatory. World mind. World consciousness. I think that it will get spiritually messy in the future, or in everyone's future incarnations, if you don't make a story about me now, while you can, in the way that you could. Don't take our current peace or social order for granted. I have a few ideas about how to secure it. One is that if it were acknowledged by the government, it would be respected, but also as a way of making it seem unimportant. I could do something unusual every morning when i get out of bed, which only people who i am in activity would know about. There is a chance of an information leak, I think for people who would try to get social security disability money, when they are not mentally sick, or disabled, or in constant 24/7 activity with me. Another thought is that there would be an agreement that the 144,000, after being officially recognized, do not speak about me, or themselves, in public. If someone who wasn't a person who i am in activity with would try to convince people that they were a person who i was in activity with, no one would believe them, or pay attention to what they had to communicate.
I think that at a minimum, the police, or FBI, who i believe already know about this public situation, should come to my home, stating to me (in front of everyone) that they know about it, and have made a public statement about it. There needs to be more social order, or more confidence vested in what is happening. apparently, It happens all of the time, or in cycles.
God bless, and Peace be with you.
some of the above information seems like i am dragging it on, or becoming too emotional about it, but that is because i am confused, and sick, wanting the 2 beings who are acting aggressively to be real, and cooperative.
also, i usually write in all lower case, or am informal. i also like the uniform aspect of all lower case.
i think that if an official public statement would be made about me, that it would serve to cause the conflict in the middle east to begin to cease. i have already stated this. it would cause jewish folk and arab folk and christian folk to think about what they had in common, christ or a messiah. most people don't know that jesus is a part of the koran, even thought i don't understand it, also thinking that muslims don't understand it, either. making a statement about me being here would cause them and other people to be more open minded and tolerant of each other. it would be the beginning of a new phase. they don't even know why they are fighting anymore. religion, related to holy scripture, can be thought of as outdated, impractical, and an unnecessary cause for conflict. update it. i don't care about what people do, as long as it is not considered illegal in whatever place they live. it is ironic that where there is probably the greatest concentration of diverse religious influence on earth (mid east), related to christ or a messiah, there is also the greatest concentration of conflict. people use the concept of religion as a way to manipulate others because of their own personal greed. they can imply that, because holy scripture is interpretive, that they can choose to interpret it anyway they choose to, and that they still have the authority of God. we should create a new version of religion, or something "religious", which is much easier to understand or interpret.
i would like for the police to come to my home and speak with me in front of everyone. it would comfort and reassure me. it would be very easy for them to get my address and phone number. i would like to know that they have made a statement to the public about the fact that they know about my situation, and also that people are in agreement that there is a problem, and that there shouldn't be a problem. i think that there is a strong possibility that i will be murdered, probably when i get older with failing health, or possibly sooner. are the police going to look back at my website, after a murder investigation is started, and think "wow, we didn't try to do anything"? i know that the police know about what is going on. it confuses and scares me to think that they won't at least TRY to help. ignorant people really don't understand what type of horrible, horrible gossip is going to come out of this, because of other people's behavior, even if i myself don't communicate on the internet about it. these creatures who are stalking everyone are evil and sadistic. it wants the attention which i get, wanting to use the 144,000, and others, as a form of media. weird psychological problem. like terrorist behavior. some kind of nasty thug, criminal like animal or something mixed with a human. you could try to create a psychological deterrent, publicly. in other words, if the police think that the community would have a problem with a statement being made about me, the community would have to grow up, and face the fact that i am here, and that people are causing a problem, and that i have a right to have a peaceful, happy life, just like everyone else. i don't care if the police think that it will make waves. why would it? i am not after evil money and i don't want to give speeches. i would just like a little respect, and peace, please. people play games when they think that they can pretend as if they don't know about it. like someone pretending as if they don't know that there is work to be done, lollygagging. people can pretend as if they don't have to act like they care.
what would be more important, publicly, than the information in this section of this website would be something like people communicating about how they knew that i had meals with people who knew, and who were acknowledging to me, and others, that they knew who i was. what christ does or states is not as important as people would think, or showing him some acceptance or love, publicly. long term social situation or social climate. that doesn't mean that i have some evil agenda, either. how can a person love, or demonstrate love, publicly, if they are not loved, publicly? this includes christ. people love christ in church, but this is not church, and christ is not some imaginary being, hanging from a wall. i am not demanding that people love me. i am wanting to point out that christ would have thoughts, feelings, and actions, just as other people do, because he is human.
i wish that the u.s. government would make the people know that this public situation is being documented
and that it will be studied, for the protection of the world. you can't do any studying unless people are publicly open about communicating about what is going on. i bet rome tried to sweep it under the rug, too. these 2 creatures, who i have referred to in the 'for your information' section of this website, who are in human bodies, are something WEIRD, evil and very, very mean (sadistic), like what you would see on a show of star trek. this is not a joke. i don't mean to be funny. it should be taken very seriously. this creature (singular, even though we are absolutely sure that it is 2 different people) is attempting to establish psychological dominance on earth, even though i think that it thinks that it can't. it is confused, like an animal, so it is reacting in a confused, violent way, feeling like it is being confined, or trapped, desperately trying to survive. it seems to think that it won't be able to be happy. t is attempting to create negative gossip, about me and this situation, to last for a long time, so that i will have a lesser chance of survival, now, and in my future incarnations, so that it thinks that it can survive. it isn't smart though, because it won't have any long term power if i am not alive, life after life, because it can't be known unless i am alive. it wants to believe that it is connected to, or has the support of, a dominant evil alien force, when i don't think that it does, and which i don't think it thinks that it does, either. it is bluffing. people should know that the military and police have been informed. everyone should know what is going on, and that no one is trying to keep it a secret because they are confused, insecure or scared.
if you want to print images which are available to download from this website, you can go to a photographic print specialty place, like HPI (Houston Photo Imaging), and enlarge them to any size you want. you have to print them as what is called "full frame". that way you don't lose the subject, or the area around the subject, when you enlarge the printable image. the subject, or the area around the subject, won't get pushed out of the frame parameter when you enlarge it. i think that it is referred to as aspect ratio. you want to keep the original aspect ratio.
the very few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with who are acting up aggressively are trying to fool other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't speak english, into thinking that people who speak english think that i did something really wrong in the past, or that i have an attitude problem, when i didn't, and don't. they have the attitude problem. their intent is to intentionally, constantly irritate me, so that i can't think clearly, or be healthy and popular, publicly. they are doing this because they are unpopular. not only are they evil and childish, they are weird and sadistic. they are trying to make it seem like anyone who defends me is evil, or should be thought of as unpopular, while at the same time intentionally trying to get people to defend me. it is a scheme which won't work. their own personal, selfish social problems are not above the welfare of the community, in general, and i know that the community thinks the same.
i wish that the united states government would publicly, officially, initiate an investigation into what is going on, because it is in the interest of long term national and/or global security. at least try to get control of the gossip. we don't want long term negative or confusing gossip on earth. everyone should know that everyone knows about this situation, so that there are no surprises or unnecessary bias from ignorant people in the community. if it doesn't seem to people that it should be easily, officially accepted, or celebrated, it can create confused feelings and gossip. what is important are my rights, just like i was any other person on earth. i think that people only want to think of a divine aspect of christ, and not the human aspect. everyone is fully divine and fully human. scientists should be put to work on this matter, in general, so as to study it, and understand how it will continue to work in future incarnations.
i deleted the 'book of enoch' file (thule.org), which was in the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website. i thought that some of the information was important, or relevant, but i didn't like some of the parts of it, or tone, thinking that it wasn't good for the community. recent events or television news (today is 12/21/2023) made me think about it, and about how i didn't want the file as part of my website.
i don't want to attempt to commit suicide anymore, and i also don't want to seem like i am a gloomy, pessimistic person by communicating that i would agree to being officially put to sleep by the government, if that were possible. this group (144,000) is unusually mentally challenged, but we also have, at times, a great sense of pride and spirituality. it can be incredibly funny. i doubt that the government or the medical community would authorize me being officially put to sleep at a hospital, with the public being made aware of it.
i'm not going to change the size of the white border around the art entitled 'slice of pie'. i think that a chrome looking metal frame would be good for it. maybe floated in clear glass?
i inserted 'art work* (5) / downloadable' into downloadable art. she is a donkey close to la grange, texas, named 'sophia'.
in case someone in the media contacted my psychiatrist, dr. theron bowers, at the houston, texas, michael debakey veteran's hospital, he never told me that anyone did. how can i develop socially or spiritually if i can't talk about what is really happening in my life? how can any of us develop, socially, as a community?
i wouldn't agree to being put to sleep at a hospital if i wasn't, or hadn't been respected. i am being blatantly disrespected, as are other innocent, honest people. i don't think that the government or medical people would put me to sleep at a hospital anyway. i did try more than once to commit suicide. then i changed my mind about trying because i was being disrespected so badly in public, that it wouldn't make any sense for the community. a few people lie and state that i didn't try to commit suicide because they don't want me to get credit for wanting to promote peace. if the government or medical community would agree to put me to sleep at a hospital, i wouldn't have to do it immediately. the black guy and mexican girl who are stalking and harassing the community are disgusting monsters who are acting out in violence because they are weird and have been rejected. they are like rapists who act out in weird violence, harming people, once they have been rejected. me stating this doesn't mean that i hate all blacks and mexicans, or that i am telling people to hate all blacks and mexicans. it also doesn't mean that i think that all white people are good, or superior. i wish that the government and / or police would make an official public statement about what they know about this situation. it is some kind of violent unfriendly alien in the body of a black man and mexican female, trying to establish psychological control of the community, wanting to use the 144,000 as a form of media. it likes it when i communicate things like this on my website, so i don't want to communicate things like this on my website. i am trying to protect the community.
i know that people are afraid that i will go crazy again on the internet. i won't. i was trying to defend the community when basically i am defenseless. it is very difficult to cope with this situation, wanting to communicate to people about it, especially since i lack privacy the way which i do, thinking that others are communicating about it. it is awkward when you are being blatantly, childishly disrespected in public, and also because there is nothing that i can do about it. i fought long enough so that word of mouth is more important than my website. good luck and God bless you.
the people who are acting up are trying to fool people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who do not speak english, into thinking that i did something really bad in the past, when i didn't, and when people who speak english know that think that i didn't. the people who are acting up are trying to make people who don't speak english think that i am unpopular in america, when the truth is that the very few people who are acting up are unpopular. i am estimating that 80% to 90% of people are openly on my side. i work, and so does the universe. the rest of them should grow up, quit acting childishly, and get with the program.
i wish that it didn't seem like i am always complaining. it is an unusual situation, and i am not faking being sick. i have a legitimate complaint. i would really like to work part time at a grocery store, and if it really seems like there wouldn't be a problem, i will apply for a job. it would be fun to be around some people for a few hours every week, working together as a team. i seriously doubt that i would ever think that there wouldn't be a problem because the people who are acting up have mental problems or personality disorders.
i didn't finish translating my name into different languages, so that people can go to my website, but i didn't care if people knew that. i thought that it was more important to get negative tone information off of my website, since i had given the public a time when i would do that. i will finish the translating. i had already translated into many languages. i got most of the major languages around the world. a few people who are acting up rudely wanted to drag the translation work out, not allowing me to have basic peace and quiet, so that i could continue to work on it, in order to try and make it seem like i don't care about people, or that i am lazy, when actually it is the complete opposite of that.
i am still working on art. i suggest waiting until i have it all done, so that you can better choose, if you think that you are interested in owning it. you can print the graphic art on metallic paper, or other types of special print paper, at a specialty print shop. art work # 5, "slice of pie", worked out good printed at 8 inches x 4 inches and also at 10 inches x 5 inches. you can simply print it on card stock material (fed ex office, etc.). cheers. it would probably look good printed on metallic print paper, but more expensive.
i'm getting rid of a little bit of the outer white border in art work* # 5.
no. i want to leave it the way that it is.
i added a file to the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website. proof of employment
. proof that i was trying to commit suicide in 2018. some people lie about the fact that i really was trying to commit suicide, because they don't want ignorant people to think that i have honor, or that i want peace for the community, or that i should be respected, or that i am not greedy. a few people are trying to make it seem like am faking being sick, and that all i want to do is lie, trying to hustle people for money. that is not what i am doing. that is what they are doing. i wanted the job which i secured in order to be able to to purchase xanax from an online canadian pharmacy, in order to attempt to overdose with it. i thought that it would be a peaceful death. I AM NOT GOING TO TRY AND COMMIT SUICIDE AGAIN. it would not be a good for the community, since i was knowingly disrespected while i was alive, and i am also not going to leave my family, or girlfriend. it was impossible to work at that job after a few hours, when the mexican girl who i have mentioned in this website made it impossible because of her unnecessary aggression. i am not making this up. she is trying to giver herself an alibi, trying to get herself out of social trouble, because she thinks that ignorant people would not believe that she would keep me alive. she attempted to deceive the public, thinking that she could make people think that i was faking trying to commit suicide, also thinking that she could have me murdered by making me and people who i am in activity with so sick that someone would kill me eventually. she wanted to try to make me look fake, thinking that she was giving herself time to wrongfully defame me, and then have me murdered eventually. i am not making this up. the main reason that i wanted to commit suicide is to get her away from me and everyone else.
i added a file to the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website. 2023 social security benefits letter
. the last time that i checked with the social security administration, in 2018 when i got a job at pappasito's mexican restaurant in houston, texas (I-10 and beltway 8), the social security administration stated that i could earn up to $1,180 gross per month, in addition to being able to still receive my disability insurance payment. i can not work in a place with many people because of my unusual situation. it is too taxing on my mental health while i am working, having to think much more in a work place with many people than a person who is not in my situation would have to think. i know that managers wouldn't think that it is a good idea. managers would be worried about employees causing a problem, or visa versa. customers would be worried about other customers causing a problem. managers would be worried about customers causing a problem. employees would be worried about customers causing a problem. customers would be worried about managers and employees causing a problem. it is too much unnecessary worry, stress and confusion. it saddens me, because work is fun, therapeutic, in part because you get to see people at work, communicating a bit while you work hard together as a team. socialization. respect for coworkers. i will work alone, part time, for old people in the country for as long as i can. it is still good for my soul, and the soul of the 144,000, even though i am being blatantly, knowingly stalked and harassed while i am doing it. they intentionally put negative, confused, stupid things into my mind so that i go crazy at work, doing something which involves stress, publicly. they are telling blatant, childish lies about me and money, implying that i am not allowed to work for money, just as other people can. it is weird cruelty and i am not making this up. they are like bullies picking on a geek at school. they find it amusing to harass and stalk me, a defenseless person, and quite frankly it is sick or incredibly disturbing and childish. the people who are acting up causing problems lie about my character because they got themselves into social trouble. God played a trick on them. He also played a trick on me. they lie, stating that i did something wrong with money, implying that i am not allowed to earn honest money, or to earn a living with art. they are so childish and evil that it is weird. the truth is that they just don't want me to be more popular or respected, happier or more confident, than they can be, publicly. it is a constant 24/7 public situation. what they engage in is weird, childish, evil, ridiculous fake crap. they try to wrongfully defame me. they don't care if people know that they are lying, being childish, evil and weird. just as long as they think that they have an excuse to obstruct my life, or actually every one else's life, people who can be happier than they can be, or more confident than they can be, because they got themselves into social trouble over the years. i usually talk out loud to relieve stress while i am working by myself, and it wouldn't be appropriate in a work place with many people. i have been earning about $360 per month ($180 every other week), working in la grange, texas, but i have to spend about $50 on gas each time, traveling there and back. it is also not convenient because of the 1 and 1/2 hour drive there. the people who i work for will die soon, and i will not have a place to stay when my parents die soon. i thought about eventually running an ad the houston newspaper, trying to secure part time employment as someone who helps with landscaping, and odd jobs around their home, in houston, texas, but there would be a potential security problem, in that there would be a lack of privacy for the employer. there is already a potential security problem concerning the people who i already work for in la grange, texas. sometimes i worry about it, but i doubt anything bad would happen. it is still possible, and even that is a type of security problem. i could tell my current employers about my unusual situation, out of respect for them, but they would probably think that i am weird and crazy.
i added a file to the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website. 2023 veteran's non service connected disability pension entitlement
part of the reason that i added the 3 above files to the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website is because a few people might have lied about the information.
honestly, i could use a little financial and moral support. i intend to set up a go fund me account on the internet. i don't have anything money saved, and i would happily work at a grocery store or starbuck's or something in Houston, Tx, part time, if i could, being able to save a little money every month. i barely get by month to month. this is a issue for the entire 144,000, worldwide, also. it is more difficult or impossible for me to be able to support people when i am not supported, either financially or morally. right now it doesn't seem possible to be able to work in a place with coworkers and the general public. consistent work or activity is good for this entire 144,000 group. consistent mental activity or stimulus. i have thought that repetitious work activity is like chanting, or doing meditation. it is therapeutic. a little stressful, but going through the stress makes us strong, and gives us a sense of experience or confidence. the problem when i work is when we are being stressed or confused unnecessarily by a few people who tell blatant lies about me and money, implying that i am not allowed to work or earn money. we really don't benefit spiritually from the work. i am not making this up to hustle people. i like to work. no, it doesn't matter what time i get out of bed on my days off. it also doesn't mean that i want to stay in bed all day long. i can also try to get involved in volunteer work, because as i stated, consistent or repetitious activity is good for me and the 144,000. it doesn't seem like i can work in a place with other employees, and i will not be able to work for old people in la grange, texas much longer. i am being honest with you, hoping that i get some help, because otherwise i would feel as if i was doing something shady or wrong if i didn't express it straightforwardly.
a few evil, mean spirited people are trying to make you think that other people and myself are faking being sick. we are not faking being sick. the people who obstruct and lie don't want to have to compare themselves, socially, to people who are working, and confident, so they obstruct while faking thinking that i am faking it. it is a constant, 24/7, public situation, and they want to unnecessarily involve me in their lives. it is a very sad, frustrating situation. i really don't want to communicate about negative things, or problems with a few people.
i am working on my art, if you think that you are interested in purchasing it through Etsy.com. i apologize for the time which it is taking, but my life is not normal, and it is a type of work which requires time. please be patient. i am not doing very well, or in other words, i am sort of sick, usually in a state of confusion. i have been sort of losing interest in trying to make myself happy. my girlfriend created copyright marks for one set of art work. she needs to do 3 more, plus i have one more longhorn photo at the photo shop lab, plus i am still working on 2 versions of graphic art ("conjunction" and "in Einklang bringen").
i don't want to try to work Etsy.
people can download as much of my art as they would like to. i am planning to set up a GoFundMe account on the internet.
i wanted people to know that my parents were the ones who wanted me to apply for social security disability insurance back in 2001 or 2002. it was approved in 2002. they knew that i had an unusual mental problem, with me trying to explain to them what was going on with me. my social security disability insurance application was turned down the first time that i applied, then my parents told me to apply again, and it was approved. my family thinks that i am crazy and weird, and it hurts really badly, or is publicly humiliating, because i could get more respect and more love from them, publicly, if they knew what was actually happening, and what i have had to actually to go through.
i don't want to add anymore information unless it is really important, or something which i think that people don't already understand.
i want you to understand. we are dealing with a psychopathic alien entity (see beginning of this section of this website) which wants to try to take advantage of a situation where nobody officially, publicly defends me, or where nobody officially, publicly defends anyone who defends me. it implies that it can do whatever it wants to, including harassing or taunting the government. i wish that the government would be bold and try to create a deterrent. it wouldn't matter if you don't have the entire situation figured out. put people on the honor system. i don't think that they would want to cause a problem.
i am definitely not telling anyone to hate blacks or mexicans or whites. why are people threatening war? because you think that it will enable you to have more peace? greed? why not share with your neighbors? live and let live. keep it simple. why create a toxic, confusing environment? it is not good for children. a few people will try to use this statement against me, or say that i am a hypocrite, but they know that they are the ones who started the trouble. they keep trying to make it seem like i started the trouble when i didn't, and when they know that i didn't.
i have thought that the government could make a statement that i am here, and not in trouble with the law. the government could state that they monitor my activity, and that i am not interested in giving speeches. i don't care what people do, as long as it is not illegal in the place where they live. i wish that the government would be aggressive and imaginative.
a few evil people are trying to confuse people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't understand english. it would seem like to someone who doesn't understand english that maybe i am an obnoxious jerk. i am not. they are making me sick, interfering with my intimacy with other people. i can't think of anything else, other than being stalked and threatened. if you guys (people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who do not speak english) could understand what i am saying, you would know that i am being stalked and harassed. mocked. i think that you can understand that, anyway. i say the same things again and again.
a few people blatantly, childishly mock my innocence, implying that it doesn't matter if i am innocent, and that they are guilty, and that they can be as ugly and obnoxious as they want to be, and that no one can stop them. it is a form of anarchy.
the few people who are acting aggressively, causing unnecessary problems, are trying to fool people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't understand english, into thinking that what i am saying out loud is important. it isn't. they try to find ways to confuse me and make me talk out loud, by mixing irrelevant or unimportant things together with childish, cryptic nonsense. they also want people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't understand english, to think that i am innocent, trying to trick ignorant people who are getting information from them, into thinking that they are trying to promote someone, me, who is evil, or that they are evil for trying to promote me. i am not evil, and i am in constant 24/7 activity with people who are not evil. they try to create a way for ignorant people to ignore me and the people who they think are are defending me, publicly. there is a problem because it is not an official statement from an authoritative body. they think about layers of deception. it is some kind of insane monster which thinks that it can't survive if i am popular. it is like part human, part animal. it is so evil that it can be funny, like the bug in the movie 'men in black', or biff in the movie 'back to the future', but i don't want to experience this anymore. it is intentionally making our lives uncomfortable. it has a weird psychological problem. i am trying to stop it from being able to spread negative, and i know that it has worked, but i don't want to inadvertently spread negative, either.
it shouldn't be difficult to understand that people would act aggressively toward me, wanting to humiliate me publicly. people can do weird things to famous people, or public people. some performers are attacked on stage while they are performing. some people shove and push famous people when they are making their way through a crowd. sometimes people throw things at performers while they are on stage. not only that, but in my situation, people have an even greater motive to try to humiliate me, publicly. some notion of God, or being special, or perfection, so they try to make it look like i am not God, or that i am not special, or that i am not perfect. people can attack famous people because they want to think of attention which they think that they are getting, because they think of the unique attention which the famous person gets. people know where i am, and also where i intend to go ahead of time. like to church today. i am not saying that i need constant police protection, but think about how i can be assaulted.
one reason why i think that an official public statement should be made about me by an authoritative body, today is 2/4/2024, is to protect people from themselves. if people can pretend as if they don't know about this situation, then they can think that they can get away with doing whatever they want to, sometimes being aggressive toward me and others, which can, in turn, cause problems for them. they shouldn't be able to pretend, when it is convenient for them, that they don't know about me, or what has transpired over the last 27 years. there should be official order so as to help steer this situation in a better course for the community. some young people in the community will eventually work in government. i wish that the government would be bold and lead, protecting me and other people. the more that this situation continues in the same way, the more awkward it becomes for everyone, including me. i won't perform as well if i feel confused and awkward. this, in turn, can complicate more events. what is the big deal? make a big deal of it so that it isn't a big deal. are you afraid? why? i'm actually a harmless, honest nerd. it is sort of boring.
i am concerned that a few people who know my girlfriend's name may be tampering with her medical insurance paperwork at blue cross/blue shield. this is another reason why an official public statement could be made about me. i am also a little concerned about my paperwork at the veteran's hospital, and my mail, which has definitely been tampered with before. the people who did it wanted people to know that they tampered with it. no, i didn't do anything wrong.
i am doing exactly what i didn't want to do on my website again, and didn't think that i would do on my website again, communicating about these issues. i think that it is important to try to put out fires, but then it creates another mess. i'm sorry. in a way i don't know what to do, and i wish that someone who is indicating to me and others, publicly, that they know who i am, and that they know what has been going on for years, would talk to me. i learned in one of my communications courses in college that disclosure is unhealthy unless it is reciprocated. people can understand that intuitively, but i wanted to state it, anyway.
i am not with the white barbarians. i am not with the black barbarians, or whoever else barbarians, either. leave me out of it. good bye.
i keep trying to defend myself and others in the community, when i am basically defenseless. that is why what i keep doing would seem strange and weird to ignorant people. i am being stalked and bullied by evil creeps.
part of a few evil people's scheme is to confuse me, publicly, and try to get me to defend myself, when i am defenseless, in order to try to make it look like i have an attitude problem, and that i deserve to be harmed.
there are mexican heart surgeons and brain surgeons in mexico city, mexico. there are black heart surgeons and brain surgeons, in johannesburg, south africa.
i don't want to create an unnecessary mess by communicating about these things. i am really trying to prevent the spread of evil gossip, and create peace. actually, it worked. i just need to chill. these few people playing stupid games should back off.
i am not being allowed to rest. this can be worse than being a soldier in the field. part of the motive of a few people who are knowingly acting up is to make me and other people in this 144,000 group so stressed and uncomfortable that i will be killed. the police should know that it is an attempt murder to murder me. it was evident in 2015 that this mexican girl is evil, and that she wanted to have me killed, thinking that she could wrongfully defame me, without me being able to defend myself. this relates to the police report in the 'important 2' section of this website. this mexican girl doesn't want to be identified, so she wants me killed, because she thinks that the unusual issue with her eye will return to normal. she is also trying to create an opportunity to lie her way out of trouble, wanting to hide from whoever she thinks might try to figure out who she is or was. she is also an evil, cheesy, childish gold digger, who doesn't give a damn about mexican children. she also doesn't want mexican men to think that i made honest attempts to kill myself. she thought that she could confuse and take advantage of mexican men who she wants money and special treatment from. by the way, i don't have to kill myself. i am entitled to have a life on earth.
we need some official accountability. don't open pandora's box because you think that it is interesting, or because you are curious as to what is going to happen next. you are opening pandora's box by not attempting to control this situation, publicly.
i saw 2 young black girls walking home from school earlier today, and i don't wish them any harm at all. i don't wish any harm on innocent kids.
i am trying to defend myself and the community when i am defenseless. that is why it seems so weird. it should not surprise anyone that i am being stalked and toyed with and harassed. i am a famous person, if not the most famous person in the world, who doesn't have security, or a way of protecting myself and others. there are weird psychopaths and sociopaths out there. they are the ones who want attention and power. can you at least let me know that you at least tried to officially protect me and the community?
let me communicate this another way. the few people who are acting up are like people who are disgruntled psychopaths and/or sociopaths, who go to PUBLIC events, where people are having a good time, or where people want to have a good time, who shoot and violate innocent people. this is a PUBLIC event, since i lack privacy in the way which i do. it is like a show on tv which is being continually broadcast or transmitted, or a form of media. they know that i would be happy, along with other people, if they left us alone. i am a cheerful person by nature. i have worked, and will continue to work for my happiness. they want us to know that it excites them to be able to violate us, just like people who shoot people at public events do. it is perverted. it obviously excites them to make people think that they are perverted. they seem to have no empathy. please try to help us. i think that if some type of honest effort was made to officially, publicly create a deterrent, that these people will back off. it seems as if they are trying to control the government, or mock government, like unruly children trying to control an adult; a power grab. they are assuming that the government will not try to officially, publicly protect me and other people. i honestly think that unless the government responds, that there will be a problem in this life, and in future lives. make me a king who needs to be respected and protected. it is in the best interest of the community. that doesn't mean that i am greedy or evil.
in a way i don't want to have the following 3 posts on my website. maybe i will delete it after a few weeks. i am not wanting to create something awkward or confused. i am fighting for my rights and the rights of others.
i have always knowingly had a general love for different types of people. a few people who got themselves into social trouble are trying to make it look like i got myself into social trouble, when i didn't, and i will fight, and i don't care what it looks like. they are implying that i should be rejected because they got themselves rejected. they have an extremely childish, sour attitude, and they are wanting to give me the sour attitude, publicly. imagine children who have no authority to keep them in order. God sort of played a trick on them. He also sort of played a trick on me. there is an expression which i learned while being in the u.s. army which is "don't fuck you buddy." try not to judge people prematurely, or burn bridges. i might be able to do something better than someone else, but they can probably do something better than me. eventually you might need help from someone. people can snap in basic training or in combat because of the stress.
there is always talk about hate toward blacks or jews or whoever. what about hate towards white people? hate is something which all people can have, so it shouldn't mean that people of color are always innocent. people of color have different reasons to hate or harbor resentment toward white people. some american germans were hated during world war II. it seems like most people think that they have to have an attitude, like "oh, we can't say that." or "oh, we can't talk about those things." because they are afraid that it will hurt or confuse people of color's feelings. why don't we talk about basic psychology, and understandable human behavior? people of color can hate whites, even if the white person or white people are loving, and not racist against people of color. it can be because of some notion of white superiority because of world war II or slavery or whatever else, or like christ as white person right now. i am not stating this as a white racist who always has something against blacks or mexicans or jews or asians or indians or whoever. people of color can hate white people because whites don't have the same social stigma of being a person with color. i have stated this before, but white people who are demonstrative about their personal idea of white superiority mess it up for whites who are not demonstrative about an idea of white superiority, and also everyone else. this situation with me definitely demonstrates that there can be hated toward innocent, loving whites, from people of color. they want people to think that they have an excuse to harm me, publicly, and so that i can't the potential which they know that i have. i have been knowingly, genuinely, loving toward people of color, but it is blatantly ignored or mocked, in a way which is meant to confuse me or harm me, publicly, as if it doesn't matter, or as if everything good which i ever did doesn't matter. the people who are causing problems, mostly black females as a group, are being blatant about being racist people of color, and harboring hate toward me. any person in my situation would go crazy. they are the ones who don't want to move on. they don't seem to care about success, and that is sad.
blacks and mexicans in america can understandably have hatred or harbor resentment toward whites, because typically whites have more money. something about worth or value which is not necessarily true. also because of world war II and slavery. my situation is really bad because a few blacks and a mexican want to humiliate me, or a white person who could be conceived as as superior, without me being able to defend myself. just leave me alone. live and let live. they want people to think that they have an excuse to act aggressively toward me, or that i did something wrong, when i didn't, and when people know that i didn't.
i am trying to defend myself when i am defenseless. ignorant people couldn't believe how childish, ugly and mean a few people are being toward me and others. they make me think of john travolta and whoever the girl with him was in the movie "Carrie", when they want to humiliate a special person, Carrie, or a person who is getting attention or being recognized. that is what these people want to be thought of as, childish, obnoxious, cruel, and it is really disturbing. they want to harm people's spirt. it is the exact opposite of what i want to do.
the black women who are acting up, trying to cover up the fact that they have been the problem, or trying to fabricate crap evidence against me and the people who honestly defend me, are trying to capture black people, like blacks who captured blacks in the slave trade, trying to get some kind of use out of them. they don't think about being strong as individuals, so they try to use other black people as a way of getting something for done themselves. go away and leave me and everyone else alone. it is weird, childish, abusive behavior. i am not a money problem, so quit lying about me.
i have communicated about this before. a black woman, who i definitely know is a black woman, who wants people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with to know that she is a black woman, is bullying me in an extremely weird, childish, ugly, cruel way when i try to work at my computer. she is working with the black man and mexican girl who i have referred to in the 'for your information' section of this website. they want people to read this and think that i am a racist. i am not, or it depends on the person who i am thinking about. she is crazy, childish, and sadistic. just like the black woman who was at the grocery store in 2008. i think that it is the same woman. i am absolutely certain that she stalked me and my girlfriend at a different grocery store last year, 2023, or in 2022. she knew that we were going to be there, having enough time to make the drive. i think that she may have used to be a police officer. she has some kind of remote access to my computer, which i think that many people know how to engage in, but don't communicate about, which enables her to change the pointer on the computer screen to the little blue circle, like the computer is thinking, but it is not the computer thinking. she touts what she is doing, showing off, implying that black women can state that i am crazy or mean towards them. i was not mean toward them. they were mean toward me and other people also. she wants to take advantage of people's ignorance about computer security. she wants ignorant people to read this, and think that maybe someone else is creating things on my website when they are not. that is part of the reason that she touts doing what she is doing. she also wants ignorant people to think that maybe it is someone else, other than a black female who is harassing me, or imply that i have no right to be angry with black females, while intentionally touting the fact that it is a black female who is doing this. she will act aggressively in response to things i am reading, or saying, in order to confuse me and make me feel threatened, very very badly, in public. it is a form of weird torture, since i lack privacy, or since i know that people are sensing me, worldwide (constant 24/7 activity, 144,000). this has been going on for years. this aggression, combined with other non stop daily aggression, is making me and others insane. it is much worse than ignorant people could imagine. it is like having been kidnapped by weird people, and tortured while they videotape it. they want to make a mockery of christ and good people.
oh well, i wanted to move on but they didn't. i have deleted negative tone information many times already from my website, trying to give people an opportunity to move on with, and improve their lives. they really don't care about success, like lazy criminals who sit around all day doing nothing, trying to run other people. they think and act like criminals, who are trying to attract other criminals.
it is like i am being tortured, with it being video taped and sent to people, like it is an intimidation tactic of a very few thug black people and a mexican girl who are playing thug people games. this has been going on for years and i don't deserve it at all. it doesn't mean that i hate black people or mexicans. i am not upset with all black people, or all mexicans, or not the majority. i didn't start the trouble back in 2008. they want people to know that they started it, but they also want people to think that they have an excuse or lie, which enables them to engage in this nonsense. it is like they want to play make believe like children that they are God and that i am not, being blatantly fake and abusive. it is bizarre. weird psychopaths. some black people and this mexican girl are putting me in the middle of something racial, trying to intimidate others, really because they themselves are insecure because of playing childish games which got them into trouble. i don't like communicating about this. i have been bullied for years, very weird and ugly behavior. they are insane and childish. they try to provoke me in public so that they think that it gives them social leverage. it is very weird and disturbing. they want to mock me as a person who was kind to blacks and a mexican girl in a very childish, weird manner. they want to mock kind people, including kind black people and mexican people. it is a thug power grab which won't work. their behavior makes me think of childish vandals. they get so much attention from doing so little, and they like it. i wish that the police could make an official statement about me, so that people don't think that they can do whatever they want to, or act like they don't have to care. i think that this situation could roll over the government eventually. please try to get it under control. it is a mild form of anarchy which i think could get worse. it is like i am a nerd white boy teacher in middle school who is being disrespected by students, and there is no way to enforce discipline. i am not saying that i want to "teach". i am stating that i am in a unique position which should be respected. i have shown people respect, but they pretend as if they don't know about it, because they think that because they did something bad, that it will make me look better than them, publicly. they make a mockery of how i showed them respect and it is very painful to have to go through this. they fake having a reason to reject me, trying to cover up the fact that they started the trouble, or trying to fabricate evidence. they are trying to make me act weird in public, because they don't want me to be more popular than them. it works, too. it does cause me to act weird, and i don't like it. they want people to know that it gives them a childish thrill. it is incredibly cruel. there is no way for me to defend myself, other than the internet. this is not like church. it is like being robbed by thugs at knifepoint, with them thinking that i have something which they want, publicly.
i think that some black girl was calling me a bitch at a restaurant a couple of weeks ago, knowing ahead of time that i would be there, i think she was thinking that she could take a cheap shot at me and get away with it. actually she won't get away with it, because her hate will destroy her, and people who are like her. if she did do that, guess what? i am a bitch. i am the biggest bitch in the entire universe. God's bitch. it would require a person who actually cares, right? i mean, i like my job. i'm the one who has the a job. but why would she really call me a bitch? because she thinks that i am more than she is, is angry about it, so she wants to bring me down to her level? because i am defenseless? because she can pick on and bully a defenseless white person? wow! she is such a strong, smart, courageous, loving black woman. does she call me a bitch because she can pretend as if she doesn't know about anything which i have done, all the work which i have done over the years, and who i am, generally thinking? am i a bitch because she is playing dumb, not wanting to have to deal with reality?
the black guy and mexican girl who i have mentioned in the 'for your information' section of this website think and act like crazy, disrespectful, weird homeless people who are begging for money or something else. they won't leave us alone. i understand if ignorant people think "ok, ok, josh. we got it." i am not being allowed to be able to think of anything else all day long, every day. these few evil people are indicating to me and others that they are lying about me, trying to wrongfully defame me. they are also trying to have me killed. they want to hide. they think that they will be able to hide if they have me killed. they are trying to give themselves a way out of being isolated, by implying that no one could understand this stupid shit that they do, and also have me killed. we do understand it. they are evil and they lie about me.
no one could take this without fighting back. i am being ganged up on and bullied in a really weird, ugly, cruel way. i think what would make me the most happy is to be able to be put to sleep at a hospital with an official medical procedure, so that i could say goodbye to my family and girlfriend, feel respected, and be happy that people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with would be at peace, protected from horrible, weird unnecessary aggression.
i have been trying to defend myself and other people when i am defenseless. that is why it looks weird. i don't have an attitude problem. i am a happy person by nature. i have many reasons to be happy. people try to get me to defend myself and others, when i am defenseless, in order to try and make it look like i have an attitude problem. they got caught having the attitude problem, and they are also childish. they are involved in an evil scheme.
i want to ignore these stupid, mean people, but it will be very difficult. it is unusual obstruction of someone's thoughts and life because of the manner which they can be aggressive. it is like getting weird, creepy phone calls from someone, constantly, who you can't block. it is not the phone ringing which bothers you so much, but the thought of the person who is making the call.
i don't like all of this communication about racial stuff. people should leave me and others alone. i am not with mean whites. i am not with mean blacks or mean anyone else. i think that this white gun stuff in rural america is like children who act like they want to play with toys, like the guns are toy guns, and they want to play cowboys and indians. or it could be like video games or something. talking stupid shit as a group with your computer, while sitting in your lazy boy chair, drinking beer and eating pizza, or actually succeeding in some type of real war are 2 different things. why would you want to fight in a war? it is difficult and unnecessary. do you have any real training for combat? i doubt it. technology can be bad, or unhealthy for us. the internet gives people the idea that they are more powerful than they actually are, or actually would be, without technology. i think that it will be a fad or trend for a while, but will eventually play out.
good luck and God bless you. live and let live. share with your neighbors. make use of resources, including human. don't squander resources.
ignorant people wouldn't believe how childish and cruel these people who are stalking and harassing me are, every day, all day long. they think that they have an image problem because of what they are known to have done to me, so they are desperately trying to give me the image problem. they are sore losers. they like to refer to how they think that they are ugly (attitude). they fight childish,, ugly and dirty, and there was absolutely nothing to fight about. they don't give a damn about children.
cheese? why would i be cheese? because you are the cheese, with your cheesy, childish brain, constantly, stupidly interrupting me, putting stupid cheesy, childish shit in my head, and everyone else's head, trying to bring me down to your level? you have hate in you. it is your hate, and you try to make me hate, trying to make me seem like you, but i am not like you. i have love in me, and everyone already knows it. it seemed like some black girl who works at home depot was pretending as if she was talking on the phone with someone, saying loudly as i was walking out of the store, as i was right next to her, "cheese! and pepperoni", like she was faking talking to someone, faking talking about pizza, wanting to take a cheap shot at me, implying that she can get away with it. they keep stupidly gossiping about what is happening to me every day, and they are copying each other, trying to make it look like i am crazy and that i have no right to dislike them or criticize them. they are trying to cover up the fact that they have been a problem, or are the problem. they are so fake and childish. you are the cheese. you can't even do your job at home depot without playing stupid games, harassing customers. they conspire. it also looked like she was using the home depot land line phone. i don't think that she was actually talking to anyone. black girls like for me to look angry, but i am not an angry person. they are angry, because they know that they have made themselves look so bad since 2008, many times. they like for me to communicate about them, because they feel empowered by it. it is sick. it is weird, childish blatant cruelty, which they imply they can get away with. that is exactly what it started out as in 2008, wanting to humiliate me, publicly, for no good reason. they wanted to humiliate a special or unique person, publicly, it seems because i was happy, or happier than they were. they want my attention. they want people to think that they are special because i am thinking about them, even if they are negative thoughts. very childish and greedy. they don't think that they have power, so they want people to think that i give them power, because i am special or unique. it is a continuation of me stating that i think that a black girl called me a bitch a few weeks ago. they copy each other, like it is a childish game. this is exactly why i couldn't work at a place with many people. it was the home depot close to 529 and highway 6. some black girl with long hair which is dyed pink or red. go away. leave everyone alone. you are a childish, mean spirited loser. she made it obvious to everyone that she was harassing me.
the few people who are causing unnecessary problems want others to know that they have a perverted, childish fascination with me. they like to confuse me in public, wanting others to know that it gives them a thrill. it is perverted childish sadism. i wish that the government or the police could help me. i wish that they would let me and others know that they put out an official statement, trying to create a deterrent. people will continue to do this. i'll try to ignore it. it is very difficult because it affects the way i feel. i know that i am being sensed, so communicating about these issues helps me keep calm. i would go completely crazy if i didn't try to fight back. they understand this, and try to make it look like i have an attitude problem or that i am unfriendly. they intentionally confuse me, thinking that it is fun, or that i am fair game, since there is no official public statement about me. they are involved in a scheme to wrongfully defame me. why? because they created a social problem for themselves. everything would be cool if people didn't want to stupidly gossip about me so much.
i thought about deleting stuff about race or hate, even if i think that i am making a good point. i'll leave it there for now. leave me and other people alone. i don't like for mexicans and blacks or anyone else to think that they have to act like they have to kiss up to white people, when some white people are obviously demonstrative about hate with the concept of white superiority. i am being bullied and harassed really really really bad, every day all long, in order to irritate me, in order to make it look like i am a white person who hates others. i am not. it is a scheme. don't put me in the middle of this. i won't be in the middle of this. the people who are acting up are childish and perverted. they try to get others to join in with them. it is like they admit to having an inferiority complex, with them thinking that they are inferior, wanting others to join in with them, wanting to bring me down to some really stupid, socially lame level. please go away and leave me and others alone.
i added a little more to the post above about people thinking of guns like they are toy guns, wanting to play cowboys and indians, like children. there is a difference between playing children games and real war.
i didn't want to go into home depot or lowes yesterday, both located close to 529 and highway 6. i decided to go to a different hardware store.
i removed 2 songs by the music band 'ministry' from my spotify playlist. 'deity' and 'we believe'. the names of the songs are irrelevant.
the few black people, or black women, who are playing childish, stupid, mean games should stop. they want attention. they want to be thought of as powerful, in a way which they are not. that doesn't mean that i am stating that blacks shouldn't have some power. they try to make it look like i am unfriendly after i go out of my way to be loving and friendly toward them. stop toying with me and everyone else. stop trying to make it look like i am paranoid or crazy. they are trying to cover up the fact that they have been, and continue to be a problem for everyone. go away. leave everyone alone. their game is to harass me and try to cover it up at the same time. who listens to you anyway? who pays attention to you anyway? what, you pretend as if you like each other? your gossip is childish and dumb.
black women don't want black men to think that they black women are thinking that a white boy is more powerful than they are. the problem is really with girls, who play girl games, trying to take power away from one person and give it to another, or to themselves.
i didn't have problems with people harassing me when i was a drug addict and slob. i started to have problems when my life and my spirit started to improve, or grow strong, publicly.
i don't want to cause a problem for black people. i don't want to cause a problem for mexicans. i don't want to cause a problem for anyone.
the people who acted up over the years never anticipated that i would be online, defending myself. then, once i started to defend myself online, they acted really nasty toward me, in order to try to get me to defend myself and other people, in order to try to make it look like i have an attitude problem which i really don't have. they are involved in a scheme.
we can play an ugly game if they want to play an ugly game. go ahead. i really didn't want to think about any of this.
oh my God, these creatures (black man and mexican girl) are evil and sadistic. a few black women, too. i feel sorry for innocent blacks and mexicans who are being hurt by this. this black and mexican think that if the government or police don't officially, publicly defend me, that they can do whatever they want to do, like they want to carry on with some childish, weird fantasy, like retarded children, that they have negative alien support, are considered dominant, and that that they will be rewarded for harming people spiritually, psychologically and emotionally. they think and act like animals who have been trapped, thrashing around in a cage, trying to get out somehow. it is impossible to be able to work. part of their scheme is that they want people to hate me, or they want people to think that i am lying about everything. no. i am not.
the mexican girl who i have communicated about in the 'for your information' section of this website wants mexicans to think of her as a smart criminal like person, wanting them to think that it is funny. that is her fantasy. she is actually dumb and weird. her obnoxious cheesy fake macho shit is repulsive. she thinks like a person who wants to pick pockets, trying to distract people with one thing, while she steals something at the same time, and she wants mexicans to think that it is funny. she want to identify herself with notorious mexican criminals, with her thinking that that is the identity which mexicans should have, or want. she can't do any better than that, and it is sad for honest, sweet, hard working mexicans. she is also trying to kill me one way or another, wanting mexicans to know what she is doing, wanting to show off that she can get away with it.
black women style is to take ugly, childish, cheap shots at me and the people who care about me. they want people to know that they conspire. what is their point? that they are insecure? that they are panicking, because they made themselves look bad? they don't want to do honest work, which requires a person to be real, so they pretend as if they don't know what is really going on. they are lazy. they are actually the ones who don't give a flying fuck about black people. they have the mentality are like slave capturers and traders.
if some evil, childish, mean spirited black women want to conspire, great, go ahead. it will just be one big stupid black blob, the blind leading the blind. i work as a individual, and i am not connected to anything bogus.
some of these black women are so unintelligent and fake that it is scary. they want you to see what i am doing, but they don't want you to really understand what they are doing. it is unusually weird and cruel. the mexican girl and black guy and these few black women are ganging up on me. that is why there was the issue with the music. i would feel as if it was fake to not fight, like all i cared about was money. they think that they have an opportunity to get black people to act as if they don't like me, because there is something about me raising money with GoFundMe. they are the oppressors. it is actually their envy at work. they think that i would be more attractive than them, publicly, if they left me alone in peace. this doesn't mean that i am stuck up. i can get along with all kinds of different people, but not mean spirited, dishonest people.
i am not the racist. a few black people or a few black women have turned this into a really stupid black thing for 16 years now, or since 2008, and quite frankly i am really sick of it. they are trying to steal something from me, and give it to themselves. it seems like they want to live in some childish, make believe fantasy world that they have more power than they actually do. i am not threatening them. they are threatening me and other people. they are childish, sour and stupid. go away. leave us alone. they know that they have been the problem. they don't seem to care about success. they are insane, and engage in weird, unnecessary, childish, abusive treatment of me and other innocent people, publicly, since 2008.
one way to think about what happened is that some black women started a rift in america, because christ is white, and because they thought that he thought that they were unattractive; meaning, their attitude. they knew that he had really good reasons to think that they were unattractive, and were insecure about it. then they doubled down on their weird, mean aggression, in order to try to make it seem like they were not insecure, and to try to make it seem like he had an attitude problem.
if you want this on in internet, it is not a problem black bitch. what, you think that i didn't get you back? it is not my problem. it is your problem, and i know that good, honest, loving black people got my back.
it is a few black people, who actually want to fuck with other black people.
they are making me sick every day, all day long. it is not my problem. it is their problem. they want ignorant people to see what i am doing on the internet, without wanting ignorant people to understand what they are doing to me. they are so ugly and childish that it is weird. no, that doesn't mean that i am a white supremacist, or white nationalist, like they want people to think that i am. they are claiming supremacy as blacks and a mexican, simply because they can gang up on an innocent DEFENSELESS white person. they are cowards and stupid, and i can tell when i go outside into the community that blacks and mexicans are cool and friendly, because they know what is really happening, and not wanting any part of this stupid stupid shit which these very few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with are a part of.
i am not with stupid, mean blacks. i am not with stupid, mean mexicans. i am not with the stupid, mean radical right, either.
i think that donald j. trump was referring to me, comparing me with jack smith, as deranged, and as someone who could be considered a prosecutor. i also think that he was telling people to harm me, as in "make him seem deranged" or "harm him" or something like that. maybe i am mistaken. i don't think that i am mistaken. i had stated something which indicated that i didn't or don't like donald j. trump on this website, and i have a right to do that, as do other people. i don't intend to state anything else about donald j. trump, or any other world politician.
these few black women, black guy and mexican girl get angry and mean when i take negative things about them off of the internet. it makes them angry and hopeless when then think that i seem popular or friendly.
i recently deleted some information from this section of this website, which was about me listening to a song ('goddamn white trash' by ministry) for a little time, 1/2 a day, which i didn't look for or intend to find. the last part of the time that i was listening to it was a weird, confused, desperate, erratic attempt to defend myself from being bullied, publicly, all day long, every day, by people of color. this bullying and harassment has been going on for years. i would have felt more awkward and confused, publicly, if i didn't try to fight, and they knew that, so they were intentionally pushing my buttons. i was trying to do some kind of psychological harm to the people who are intentionally, knowingly doing psychological harm to me, but i got carried away, and i didn't like the way it made me feel, because i think that the lyrics to the song are dumb. i don't intend to ever listen to the music again. i was being a goof and facetious, with regard to only the title of the song, and then confused myself because i didn't and don't believe in the real message of the music. i thought that the intro was interesting, but not because of the purpose of its' creation. i also liked the guitar. a few blacks and a mexican are intentionally harming me emotionally and spiritually, actually wanting others to know that i do not deserve it, with them wanting others to know that they think that it is fun to be able to get away with. they are the ones who are making an unnecessary, stupid racial issue of this situation, for a long time already, not trying to create a double standard, but actually implying that double standard exists, and that they are superior. my pride as a unique white person got mixed into the situation, because i am being blatantly bullied by people of color. i am definitely not with white nationalists or white supremacists or honky whatever. i don't believe in it. i really don't believe in it. these people who are blatantly harassing me actually like being thought of as creepy, sleazy, childish, evil racists. it is incredibly disturbing. it was like i was driving down the freeway, and some gave me the finger for no good reason from another vehicle, and i intentionally cut them off on the highway, which caused them to crash, and caused another person to crash, and caused another person to crash, etc. that is only an analogy. sorry about the confusion, but it really isn't my fault. i am partly to blame, because i shouldn't have been fooling around so much with music. it really shouldn't surprise people that i would act in an erratic, confused manner, after the amount of time which i have not had basic rest and peace. something like this would happen, given how mentally sick i am being intentionally made every single day for years. people of color are ganging up on me, bullying me in public, so i got confused, trying to defend myself in some confused way, but then i didn't like the way it made me feel. they want to put obnoxious in my face, so i wanted to put obnoxious in their face, but then i became confused, feeling as if it was too much, or that it didn't make sense. i was trying to be defensive and funny, but it wasn't funny, and i confused myself. again, black people and this mexican girl will try to create a double standard, or imply that a double standard exists. they are doing harm to me.
i have always had a general love for different types of people. a few people who got themselves into social trouble are trying to make it look like i got myself into social trouble, when i didn't, and i will fight, and i don't care what it looks like.
if people are thinking that i am whining, i am not. this is like an animal or some type of creature eating another animal, wanting the other animal to know that it is excited by it. like a spider spinning a web around a fly. there is no law which protects me or the community from this. why don't you try to come up with one? ignorant people underestimate how evil, sleazy and sadistic this creature who is stalking us is. it is trying to have me killed. it thinks that it will be able to survive if there was or is something unlikeable about the situation.
these few black women have this stupid fake attitude, like they are stating that i don't have right to say or communicate something about them. why the fuck wouldn't i communicate something about you?! what, you just couldn't handle what was actually going on, or what has actually happened?
people are probably making fun of me, saying that i am a hypocrite, with me having communicated things like "don't fuck you buddy" or "don't squander resources". they fucked their buddy, me. they squander resources. the want to make a mockery of people who actually care, like me. you don't understand this aggression every day, all day long. t is like trying to negotiate with terrorists or people who you just can't work with. sorry, can't help unless i was officially recognized. people who think that i won't be officially recognized make fun of me and want to harm me, publicly. they also want to humiliate people who act like they care about me, or respect me. they are sleazy thugs, trying to attract sleazy thugs. they think that they can't or won't work with people with class, so they just do what they do. we are stuck with it unless someone has an idea.
it is impossible to be happy. these few people who are acting up are some kind of weird, evil, childish, vicious, miserable, ugly, sleazy, sadistic monster. it wants to make people who are happy sick and miserable, and it is working. it wants to make happy people like me sick and miserable. there is nothing which i can do. the morale of the story is that i fought, and that it was ok for me to fight, and that it was ok for other people to fight. it wants to use me as a way of making people miserable, knowing that i am defenseless, and that i will try to defend myself and other people. i would feel more awkward and confused if i didn't try to fight. it understands this. i am trying to stop the spread of something evil. i really can't do anything or defend myself. it would still be a problem if i didn't communicate about it myself, because other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with would.
the few black women and this black guy and mexican girl who are telling blatant lies about me and money, obstructing our lives all day long, every day, think that they can be fake after i took information about northern trust bank, george h. w. bush, paris hilton, and thule.org down off of this website. i don't have to have any information on my website about it, because people already know what happened, and that i am innocent. if the information is there, they think that they can lie about it, wanting people to think that it is more important or more interesting than it is. if i have information about it on the internet, like i have had before, they just get stupid, implying that i should be ignored, along with good, honest people who really know what happened. they try to make it seem like i am guilty of something if i seem defensive. i didn't do anything wrong. no evil intent. i am a sweet, honest. nerd, who just wanted to help people, but they try to make it seem like i am an evil, dishonest, white bad boy, because they think that people think that they are more interesting that way. i am not a money problem. you are the money problem, because you obviously, blatantly lie about it. you are so cheesy, implying that you have honor and that i don't, and you do it because you are fake and greedy, wanting people to give you something, or special treatment, because you have some weird psychological problem. they got angry when i took information about myself down, off of my website, because they think that they can't make ignorant people think that i am desperate, or lying, like they are. then they turn fake, trying to get me to put it back on, assaulting me and other good people, all day long, every day, wanting me and others to know that they are trying to spread garbage about us. if you want a fight, you got it. they are ugly, miserable, vicious childish creatures, who want to make everyone else miserable. i don't want to do that, and if you knew me better, you would understand.
black people are the reason that black people are miserable or angry. i am not the reason. why don't the bad ones get with the program? you know why? because they are lazy. they mock honest, hard working people.
the people who lie about me (northern trust bank, george h. w. bush, paris hilton, and thule.org) think that because it is an unusual story, that they can make up any story they want to about it. it is like cheesy tabloid shit. they want ignorant people to think that it is more interesting than it is. it is no more interesting than me being a sweet honest nerd deep down, who just wanted to try to help people. i am not lying about anything. i am not lying about money. they are. they try to create a dependence on them, trying to wrongfully manipulate people, in order to try to get something for themselves. they want to be thought of as God, or superior, or special, because they have a weird, unusual psychological problem. they are the ones with the attitude problem. i am not the one with the attitude problem. it is a bunch of bizarre hate towards me and good, honest people who defend me. the people who lie are the ones who are after money, or special treatment. again, they try to convince others that there is a good reason to hate me. it doesn't matter what i have done, or what i would do; meaning, good things. it is a bunch of bizarre hate.
ignorant people shouldn't underestimate how evil, childish and mean some people are. they treat me in a weird, childish, abusive way, publicly, because it excites them, and because i can't get law enforcement involved. they thought that if they left me alone, that i would be happy and productive, and that people would act like they liked me more than them, publicly, so they got confused, wanting to intentionally complicate my life and happiness, so that they feel better about themselves, publicly. it is a really sad, weird situation for me and others. like i have been kidnapped, and am being abused, with no protection. i am not a superhero. i am a human being with feelings. so was jesus. so what if i am confused? you would be, too. i don't think that people would have acted as if they liked jesus so much, prior to Rome politicizing him.
these few people who are acting up are preying on the community. they are stalkers. i wish that didn't have to think about it constantly. i mean constantly. they won't allow me to think of anything else. it is doing something weird to my mind and actions. this has been going on for years. it is like a computer which has been intentionally corrupted with a virus. this is what they want. it is intentional. i am trying to defend myself and the community, but then it can seem as if i am the problem. i am not the problem. so much for trying to help or being a loving person who wanted to help. all it had done is create problems for me and the community. the problems which i have are because i am actually a sweet guy who just wanted to help. it doesn't work right when you don't have protection, or when people want to make a mockery of sweet people who want to help. dirty politics. they make fun of me because i tried, or try. i wouldn't want to be involved in politics. they attack you because you do good things, or because you had a good intent, or because they don't want you to be more popular or likeable than they are, thinking that they won't have or get as much.
these few black women imply that i have to answer to them, or that men have to answer to them. why? i don't need your permission. quit unnecessarily involving me in your lives. they don't want to have to work as hard as i do, so then they do this stupid crap, implying that we need their permission to do something, or telling us that we are not allowed to. they couldn't keep up with honest, hard working people, so then they do this stupid thing, acting as if people are not allowed to do the work, because we need their permission. they imply that no one is allowed to do the work, because they are not capable of doing it.
me having called childish, sadistic, evil black women a black bitch is the very least which i could do, given what they have knowingly done, and continue to do to me, since 2008. they have an attitude problem. i am not the one with the attitude problem.
this black man who people know about has been knowingly harassing me every time when i masturbate for a long time now. it is weird, creepy, cheesy, childish cruelty, denying people basic pleasure. he is also bothering me all day long, every day. he is socially lame and insecure, pretending as if he thinks that it makes him attractive, or that it makes me unattractive. he is actually insecure about being unattractive, and it makes him act really really stupidly in public. it doesn't make me unattractive. nobody likes what he is doing. it. it is impossible to like. he tries to humiliate black women who support me, or who state that they don't like him. he is also telling weak black women who have an ugly, childish attitude to say that they like it, or that i deserve to be harmed. he tries to get weak, ugly attitude, childish black women to act like they like unintelligent, uncivil, creepy, black men. it is like he is creepy retarded, or like there is something seriously wrong with his brain, like someone who would be in a mental institution. he just humiliates himself and unfriendly black women who are fake about what is really going on.
this black guy and a few black women and this mexican girl are like some weird, crazy, mean spirited, greedy bums, who would violently steal a loaf of bread from someone who had been waiting in line for it for a long time. like they snatch the loaf of bread, and say "ah nah! it ain't yours! it's mine!". they are so rude and greedy. they have some weird personal or psychological problem, social problem. they try to take what is mine away from me, but that doesn't mean that i have an attitude problem, either.
the few people who are acting up aggressively, obstructing everyone's happiness, don't move on because they think that they have no future. they are losers. they want you to see what i am doing on my website, not wanting you to really understand what they are doing to me and others, not wanting you to really understand why i keep communicating. it is sort of like a country which invades another country, when there is nothing you can do about it. it is sad and confusing. it makes you think "how could someone be that way?" or "how could someone be so uncaring and ruthless?"
so much for being a sweet guy, who wanted to spread love and help out.
it wouldn't be natural for me to not communicate about what is happening, since i lack privacy in the way which i do. the people who are harassing me understand this. they don't want me to be more popular than they are, publicly, because they got themselves into social trouble. dirty politics.
what this black guy who i have communicated about already is doing is like sexual assault or rape. he keeps doing this already knowing that i won't like it, or that i want him to stop. he knows that other people won't like it either. he likes to be thought of as creepy. it is also stalking, day after day.
black guys can't hold hands or kiss on the first date. only double dating. black girls have to be home by 10 pm.
this black guy and a few black women are trying to create the impression that black people are more powerful than they are. they have embarrassed themselves, are insecure, and are now not wanting people to be happy. they are bullying an innocent, defenseless white person in public. yes, i am innocent, but they like to try to spread blatant stupid lies about me and money. i would like for this black guy and these few black women who have an attitude problem to go up to a white person, or anyone for that matter, and assault them, or touch them, or say weird creepy things to them, when they already know that it would bother the person. lets see how powerful or dominant you really are. this doesn't mean that i want people to hate or not show basic respect toward black people. i am just putting the real situation into perspective for this black man, and these few black girls who obviously have an attitude problem.
i already communicated about this black man harassing me when i masturbate years ago. then he thought, again, that he could take a cheap shot at me and get away with it, so did a few black women, thinking that i wouldn't call them out on their stupid crap again. he was hoping to make it look like i am ashamed of something or scared. nope. what he really thinks is that the act is one more way which people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with and i bond. like when i kiss my girlfriend and people sense it. or like when i kiss my mom on the cheek and people sense it. like being in my living room, lighting a candle, sipping on a glass of wine, and playing with my sweet girl dog's ears while she is cuddled next to me on the couch, with people sensing it. i am always going to have girl dogs. these are examples of what people all over the world are sensing. or like me having a nice breakfast with my mom and dad this morning. the people who are acting up try to prevent bonding because of their weird childish envy, or because it creates a social problem for them. it started with a few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who have social problems, who want to be thought of as superior, trying to spread their shit everywhere. their childish, mean spirited gossip got them into trouble, so then they tried, or continue to try to spread lies about my past.
people should think of my communication as like that of a family member. i wanted to think of you as family. we'll work through it.
these few people who are childishly, rudely acting up aggressively are trying to make some kind of point that no one person like me one can do any good in the world, or change the world for the better, or that i have no authority, like they are making fun of someone like me. why don't you just get the fuck out of my life, and quit making a childish game of this? i'll leave you alone if you leave me alone. i don't really care what people do, as long as it is not illegal, or meant to harm me, publicly.
i don't like what happened again in this section of this website. it seems weird.
what is really weird is people assaulting me in the way which they are every day in public.
they are weird.
you could kind of think of it as thugs have taken over. past tense. they will dominate as long as the police and government don't AT LEAST TRY protect me and the community as a whole. thugs want to mock chirst and people who they think are christ like. thugs can't operate at a high level, so they want to drag everyone down to their level. they think that the more it seems as if i have power, or am being recognized, the less power that they have.
oh well, i tried.
i have deleted negative tone information from this website about half a dozen times, and every time that i do, these evil childish creepy thugs start to tell me over and over and over that they are trying to get away with something again and again and again, trying to get me to put angry or confused tone information back on my website, so that they think that they can make people think that i was the problem. i was not the problem. guess what? they are not going to get away with it.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pgCIXCY8XQ
these black girls know that people know that they have been, and still are a problem, and they are ashamed of it. they are so incredibly fucking fake, pretending as if they think that i am the problem. they are stupid and angry because they know that people know that they have been, and still are a problem. then they turn fake. there is no way that i could like them, after the weird childish creepy abusive treatment they dish out at me and other people.
some black girl who works for walmart at s. rice and westpark (houston, texas) verbally assaulted me as i was walking into the store about 2 or 3 days ago (today is 3/1/24) , probably because she is conspiring with black girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, knowing ahead of time that i would be there. she said loudly in this real ugly attitude childish ghetto shit sadistic tone of voice "delusional!" as i walked into the store. i think that she was trying to get me to lash out at her as i walked in, so that when i was in the store, she could stage a bullshit complaint about me, in order to try to get me kicked out of the store, in order to try to make people feel sorry for ugly attitude childish fake black girls who know that they have been the problem since 2008, and are ashamed of it. this girl was copying the black girl who worked at home depot who i communicated about, except this time i was going into the store, not walking out of the store.
what's the matter black girls? black guys don't find you attractive? i mean, after what you are known to have done to me and the community since 2008? oh, so you try to make me seem unattractive, by constantly irritating me. you lost the fight, you childish, disrespectful black bitches. go away. leave me and everyone else alone, guess what? it doesn't matter if i am angry. i want people to know that i am angry. you are the weakest societal link the entire world, and you know it, and you don't care. you have an attitude problem. this isn't the late 1960s or 1970s. i showed you respect and love, more than a white person ordinarily would.
all of this unnecessary black girl crap started because some black women who i am in constant 24/7 activity wanted to humiliate me, for no good reason, because i was, or am, more confident than she was, or is, publicly. God played a trick on them. i know that they spread very mean very childish gossip about me when i was less mature, naive and confused. they knew that i had a good heart, and that i was just confused with a drug problem. then i became much stronger very quickly after i moved on from drug addiction. i was surprised. i know that everybody was surprised at how such a dramatic change could take place so quickly. then they felt stupid and ashamed for having communicated the mean things which they did. then they turned fake, pretending as if they thought that i was evil when i am not, tried to humiliate me or make me not shine, because i was stronger, or more confident, than they were, publicly. they didn't want me to be able to move on because they couldn't move on. they are lazy and selfish, wanting to control other people's happiness. they like this shit which they create on the internet, wanting people to feel sorry for black girls who are actually very very mean, irresponsible and childish. they conspire. they want people to know that they are conspiring, wanting to try to intimidate people, like they are caught up in some weird, creepy childish racist fantasy about having power which they will never have. i am not stating that black people should not have some power. they are a danger to america, or actually the world since i am in constant 24/7 activity with people who are situated all over the world. i understand why there would be a white people movement in america, even though i would never be a part of it, because i would never believe it entirely. i never thought that i would be communicating this way about black people or race. i don't understand DNA or genes. it is all going to mix together so many times in the future so that no one could understand it. i don't believe that diversity is not desired at high levels, those black girls knew that i was loving, but because they fucked up their image, they turned fake, childish and very very mean. they are spiteful and vindictive, and i didn't start the crap. they messed with me at walmart because i communicated about the black girl at home depot. they do it just to spite me and irritate me, wanting my attention, like children. they are dangerous. just like how a black nurse intentionally infected my blood with a dirty needle in 2011, causing a problem to my colon, with me requiring 3 major surgeries. they wanted people to know that they did this. they imply that black women are going to dominate america or the world in this really, really childish, ugly attitude way, and they are completely crazy and fake for doing this. i never thought that i would be communicating this much and this way about black females.
they are also trying to recruit and wrongfully manipulate new black girls into acting fake being hateful. they want to hold them hostage, trying to force them to do something, like black slave owners. they want ignorant black girls to think that there is something interesting to be a part of, when it is really just dumb. black girls need strong, public leadership.