IMPORTANT 1

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For those people who have not already been made aware of this, independently of this website, I am in a constant 24/7 activity with a small group of people (144,000) who are situated all over the world. I don't understand it exactly, but it is related to the design and creation of the great pyramid of Gizeh. Look at link (144,000) in the 'for your information' section of this website. In other words, our central nervous systems are somehow fused. They can sense that i am typing at this moment, even though they are situated in different places all over the world. They could also sense that I was drinking a cup of coffee, if I was doing that right now. I am not currently in activity with 144,000 people. Some have died from old age. Some I am not in activity with yet. Apparently, some of these people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with were sensing me as a fetus, when i was still in my mother's womb. I think that i am joined with these other people because of something relating to the sun, other stars (most notably the constellation of Orion), the design of the great pyramid, and electromagnetism. It means that what is happening in our minds, or central nervous systems, also exists somewhere else, in order for the fusion to be taking place in the manner which it is. I believe that the water in our systems acts as a conductor. I believe that the same was true of Jesus of Nazareth; meaning, that this same connectivity with others is what actually distinguished him from other people. Read in the 'for your information' section about 144 and 72, or the story of Jesus and the 72 in the book of Luke. Also the story of Horus battling Set (Sat-an) and 72 conspirators in Egyptian mythos. I am not stating that Jesus of Nazareth and the Egyptian Set (Sat-an) are the same being. 72 is 1/2 of 144, with there being 1440 minutes in one day. The story of Jesus of Nazareth in the bible is mostly allegorical, although he was a real person in real history. The constant 24/7 activity can be, at times, maddening, for both me and the people who are sensing me. I believe that the 144,000 is some type of star seed. Constellation of Orion, astrology, 12 x 12 x 1000. Look at links below. Star seed is not necessarily "positive". I was 24 years old (1997), when it first became evident to me that I was, or am, in this unique, constant 24/7 activity with people. I am not schizophrenic. Then, in February of 1998, I started to sense an intelligent being communicating to me, with the use of physical contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which meant that this being began to sense me first. It is a form of non verbal communication. This happened, in a way, exactly as it was predicted by something known as the Ussher chronology. Beginning of 1000 years (6000 years = 4004 BC to 1996 AD). Look at links in the 'for your information' section of this website. It also means that other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with can sense, or were also sensing this intelligent being. It was extremely confusing at first. Madness. Isolation from the community. Hopelessness mixed with confused faith. 13 years later, in May of 2011, I started to sense another intelligent being communicating with me, with the same type of physical contractions of my muscle and soft tissue. It was, and still is, easily differentiated by me, and also the entire worldwide group who are sensing it, from the communication from the first intelligent being. It was, or is, fainter and more frequent. A totally different person, with a totally different personality. Non verbal communication. Both of these beings wanted, or want, to make it apparent to me, and anyone else who they thought was sensing me, because of the type and timing of the physical contraction communication which they can generate, that they had my vision, or that they could see what i could see. It was, or is, sensed as a person who is sort of child like, who is in a type of shock, or stupor, and finding it fascinating. Like they are children watching cartoons on television. It is very easy to understand, through sensation or non verbal communication, that the first intelligent being which myself and the rest of the group began sensing was, or is, male. It is very easy to understand, through sensation or non verbal communication, that the second intelligent being which myself and the group began to sense was, or is, female. They are human, just like I am human. I know without a doubt that the female is Hispanic, now (in the year 2022) about 30 years old, probably still living in Houston, Texas. I have seen her about 6 times in different places in the Houston area, because she wanted me and the rest of the group to know that it was her, wanting me to talk about her, or that she was responsible for creating the sensations, in a way childishly showing off. She used to have a white SUV and restricted phone number in the year 2011. Height is probably about 5 feet or 4 feet 10 inches. Medium size breasts. Full figured. She had long brown or light brown hair. I believe that she lives inside of the Houston 610 loop area, or that her parents live inside of the Houston 610 loop area. I believe that this is true, because she was able to get to locations within the Houston 610 loop area, where I was, quickly, already knowing that I would be at the same location. She has an unusual issue with her left eye, which I have seen, which I believe is the eye which acquired my vision, being at the beginning of the fusion of our central nervous systems, right around the last week of may of 2011. I believe that she has a brother who owns, or who used to own a Dodge Charger. I saw this car when I dropped off paperwork at the downtown Houston police station, wanting to be respectful of her, trying to establish rights for both of us. I also saw the person who I think is her brother together with her at the Houston Veteran's Administration hospital, when I went there one time. She wanted me and other people to know that it was her. I know without a doubt that she is lying about this situation to her family. I can reasonably assume that the male being who can also create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which other members of the group (144,000) can sense, who also indicated that he has my vision, also has an unusual issue with his left eye. Meaning, the eye which acquired my vision in February of 1998. It took me 13 years (1998 - 2011) to be able to understand that this male being is an African American, and also that he is ignorant, not possessing extraordinary knowledge concerning me, or this situation, which I thought that he had prior to 2011.

I think that the black man who I am referring to might live in New Jersey.  He likes to be a stupid smart ass, thinking that I won't understand what he is communicating, or wanting to think about how he thinks that he is slick, when he really isn't.  I think that he is involved in social security fraud, at the United States social security administration.  I think that he receives social security benefits for the problem with his left eye, which began on February 22nd, 1998.  I doubt that he told the social security people that he is in constant 24/7 activity with me, or has my vision in his left eye, and that he can create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, or be aggressive.  It is not social security.  He is intentionally harming people.  Check New Jersey social security applications, sometime shortly after February 22nd, 1998, to see if there are any applicants who fit the description, an unusual problem with left eye.  I bet that the doctors had no idea what caused it, or why it would begin in the manner which it did.

I believe that these 2 people were characterized, or defined, as Set (Sat-an) and Nephthys in Egyptian mythos, in the past. I believe that I was characterized, or defined, as Horus (Christ) in Egyptian mythos, in the past. Look at links in the 'for your information' section of this website. I also believe that the male was characterized as Beelzebub during the time of Jesus of Nazareth.  My old bible study teacher told me that Beelzebub was just another name for Satan.

After having enough experience, having been situated together with these 2 people for some time already, as stated, I can list some of their characteristics.

They are like people who are a type of mentally retarded. Constant stupor. Psychopathic. Sociopathic. Narcissistic. Childish. Evil. It flaunts being evil, seeming to try to recruit evil people. Hate. Anger. Envy. Jealousy. Greed. Problem with ego, or perhaps super ego. Negative. Angry. Sadistic. Nervous. Insecure. Creepy. It flaunts thinking that it is creepy. Attempts to intimidate. Vicious. Insane. Predatorial. Deceit. Perverted.

Even evil people wouldn't want anything to do with these beings. They have a mental problem.

Because they are naturally or understandably insecure about what people think about them, namely because of their unusual issue with their left eye, they embarrass and anger easily, ultimately having betrayed the community, desperately trying to make it seem like I was evil, or that people should think of me as evil, when I am not evil, and when they knew, or know, that I am not evil. They also childishly and sloppily imply that they have some authority which they don't think that they have, wanting to make a mockery of what would actually be considered responsible behavior, it seems because of panic, or greed, or not understanding how they should fit in with society. They seemed to want to try and associate in a cooperative way, when the activity with them first started. As time went on, they seemed confused about how to survive, socially, and long term, thinking that they had embarrassed themselves by having been unnecessarily aggressive.

They both seem to want ignorant people to believe, acting out in a childish, blatantly fake, confused, ignorant manner, that the eye above the pyramid on the dollar bill represents them, or that they have authority which they actually don't have. It is related, but the eye on the dollar bill seems to be the opposite of what they are. God is a loving God. They are not loving, and not only that, they are trying to make people think that God is not a loving God. They are also trying to fool people into thinking that i am not loving.

I have tried to help them. They should communicate to the public, or me, with actual words and conclusive statements, instead of trying to stupidly and wrongfully hustle their way into happiness, social success, power, or survival. There would be a commitment to cooperation which they would benefit from. They wanted, or want, to show off and play childish games. It got, or gets them intro social trouble. It seems like their minds never develop properly, in any incarnation of theirs, because they have my vision, and are constantly distracted by, or interested in what I am doing. They are not doing work like other people ordinarily do work, by not communicating with intelligent statements, which are easily understandable and conclusive. It got them into social trouble, or didn't, or doesn't, allow them to make a type of normal social progression. They seem to be implying that they are supposed to get unusual special treatment, or be worshipped because they are unusual, but they are lazy, childish and are constantly attempt to deceive, like someone who is criminally insane. They are disabled, and are trying to obtain something for themselves in an unethical, rude, bully style way. They seem to live in a fantasy world, fanaticizing about having happiness and power, but are unwilling to try to do work like people ordinarily do work, communicating using intelligent, conclusive, easily understandable statements, in order to achieve this happiness. They have a confused identity problem, seeming to want to settle for being different, and a foe, not wanting to try to make a more normal social progression on earth.

They seem to have an unusual need to feel loved, or respected, or accepted, or recognized. They have an unusual psychological problem, just as a few other people who i am constant 24/7 activity (144,000) with have proven themselves to have. These 2 people are trying to secure something for themselves, using their ability to create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which other people in the group (144,000) can sense, as a type of weapon. It is an attempt to subdue or incapacitate me, and other people, so that these 2 beings do not have to work as hard, or compete with others, as people ordinarily have to compete, or cooperate, with others. It seems as if they are doing this, really for the future incarnations which they think that they will have, not wanting me, or others worldwide, to achieve the potential in this life, because they think that it will make it better for themselves if I was considered unpopular. I think an attempt to have me murdered, in this life, or in future lives. They want to create frivolous gossip which they think will benefit them in making me seem unpopular. It seems as if they are both confused and angry, trying to create gossip which they think will help their chances of survival. They have a strange pride problem, or ego problem, like someone who feels special, but inferior, and is in a type of panic, then doing something irrational for attention. It is an angry, childish attitude, like "oh yeah, well i am somebody too!", or, "oh yeah, well i am going to show you who i am!" They think that i am special, or unique, so they have a confused desire to feel special, or unique, too.

i think that these creatures might have been a problem during Jesus Christ's time here on earth, or a distraction for him, but that it was not so bad that people communicated at length about it. I have thought that the biblical character Beelzebub was, or is, a way to refer to them, or at least the male. There were more opportunities for problems to arise in this incarnation of ours because of technology.

I have told both of them that it is better if we work together, and that they are creating a lose-lose situation for themselves and the community. It seems as if they both want, unrealistically, to be thought of as like stars, or celebrities. As I stated, they have a unusual ego problem. I have told them they they would have love and happiness in their lives if they didn't try to unnecessarily overshadow me, or other people as well. As time goes on, it doesn't seem as if they care about being loved anymore. They are confused about what people think about them.

They have mental problems. It seems like their ability to create the contractions in my muscle and soft tissue relates to an electric charge, or a positive/negative charge, or electromagnetism. We don't feel electric shock, though. I have thought that maybe it has something to do with the moon (grey aliens?/I read that they don't have a soul), or reptilian entities which I have read about, or something about Alpha Draconis (constellation of Draco/Draconian/star corresponding to northern side of great pyramid).  It might not be the moon, but because of Alpha Draconis being a binary star system.

They (black man and mexican girl) both try to take advantage of ignorant people's ignorance.  They try to use their ugliness (behavior) as an alibi, because what they do is so unbelievably ugly, and also because they are thinking that ignorant people wouldn't believe that Satan is in human form.  They both know that they can be identified, because of a problem with their left eye, so they are trying to hide and obstruct other people's work at the same time, thinking that it is the only way which they (it) can survive. 


I wish that scientists and other people would be informed about what is going on by people who who i am in constant 24/7 activity (144,000) with, who could prove that the constant 24/7 activity is real. They would have to include me and perform a test, publicly certified with television cameras and the police. They could put us in different rooms of a building, say something to me, with me being in one room of the building, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know what it was. Someone could touch me somewhere on my body not inappropriate, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know where on my body it was. Give me something to eat, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know what it was. It could be certified by the police. Television cameras were invented only 70 years ago. The eye (like a camera) connects everything, or allows for information to be gathered and processed. You could use it as an important tool like a microscope. For example, people who don't live in Egypt wouldn't know what the pyramids looked like, unless there were photographs of them. They couldn't understand it, or begin to understand it, or conceptualize it, or appreciate it. The use of a television camera to observe myself connected to the 144,000 would be like looking at a cell, through a powerful microscope. Objectivity. Science, and not religion. I think that it would be good for scientists, politicians, and future politicians to understand, because this constant 24/7 activity which I am in with others applies to people all over the world, not racially or territorially discriminatory. World mind. World consciousness. I think that it will get spiritually messy in the future, or in everyone's future incarnations, if you don't make a story about me now, while you can, in the way that you could. Don't take our current peace or social order for granted. I have a few ideas about how to secure it. One is that if it were acknowledged by the government, it would be respected, but also as a way of making it seem unimportant. I could do something unusual every morning when i get out of bed, which only people who i am in activity would know about. There is a chance of an information leak, I think for people who would try to get social security disability money, when they are not mentally sick, or disabled, or in constant 24/7 activity with me. Another thought is that there would be an agreement that the 144,000, after being officially recognized, do not speak about me, or themselves, in public. If someone who wasn't a person who i am in activity with would try to convince people that they were a person who i was in activity with, no one would believe them, or pay attention to what they had to communicate.

I think that at a minimum, the police, or FBI, who i believe already know about this public situation, should come to my home, stating to me (in front of everyone) that they know about it, and have made a public statement about it. There needs to be more social order, or more confidence vested in what is happening. apparently, It happens all of the time, or in cycles.

 God bless, and Peace be with you.

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some of the above information seems like i am dragging it on, or becoming too emotional about it, but that is because i am confused and sick, wanting the 2 beings who are acting aggressively to be real and cooperative.

also, i usually write in all lower case, or am informal. i also like the uniform aspect of all lower case.

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i am being made intentionally sick and confused by this creature (i am referring to it as one thing, but it is 2 different people) all day long, every day. it has compounded. it has been going on for years. my mind can not function properly. i feel constantly threatened, publicly. nobody's mind could function OR DEVELOP properly. it is weird, childish sadism. they are also evil or criminally insane. please help if you can. try to help. i am not crazy. part of the reason that it is doing this to me is to make it seem like i am crazy, trying to cover up the fact that people know that they are the problem. another reason is that it wants to make me seem weird and unlikeable. it is because it thinks that people think that it is weird and unlikeable. it thinks that it can't survive. it is so different than what people normally are, like an animal or completely different species, so that it doesn't try to work with people, as people ordinarily work with one another.


interesting article about great pyramid. cornerstone. chief cornerstone.
scroll down to part about alpha draconis.  thuban.  satan.  

https://www.blueletterbible.org/study/larkin/dt/32.cfm

alpha draconis.  constellation of draco.  draconian.  egyptian set (sat-an).  alpha draconis is called thuban (serpent) in arabic.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-mythology-behind-the-star-Thuban-Tell-me-everything-you-know

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thuban, head of the serpent, or large snake.  alpha draconis, look to our northern hemisphere.

binary star system.

historically represented the north pole, from the 4th to the 2nd millennium BCE.

in arabic, it represents the dragon.

in egypt thuban was very significant in the original alignment of the pyramids and stars before the earth's tilt and magnetic realignment.  pharoah kufu believed he would join the sun and thuban in death.

in sumerian and mesopotamiam lore, it was called tiamat.  tiamat the sea serpent, that existed even before the sky and sea had divided from each other.   a dragon of chaos that had to be tamed before brining in a new order.

in greek mythology hercules, jason and cadmus are all tasked by gods, to kill a dragon for different reasons, eventually placing a dragon in the sky to represent a trophy of cadmus.

habab is where satan get's connected to draco threw pagan arabic, muslim cultures, the light barer, bringing of morning, the morning star.

jujitsu comes from thuban, and was given to his half son oda nobunaga, as a gift to help conquer and unite japan.

the archons are a war bread race, hive minded, cybernetic, genetically modified constructs, that have become self aware are an now have the ability to war with higher dimensional forces by causing havoc in the system like a virus.  the fallen.

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type in bold above.

this is what i have been communicating about.  i have read something else about a hive mind from another source.  something about orion dragon queen.  i am guessing thuban, as it relates to alignment of the great pyramid, one of the 3 pyramids corresponding to the constellation or orion.  i read the term messeh, from which comes our term messiah or mashiach.  something about crocodile/reptilian.  i am reasonably certain that i, or a positive force, is to keep this entity at bay, cycle after cycle.  they seem to be more of an annoyance, rather than a real threat.  maybe the annoyance is a real threat.  they try to use deception and psychological warfare as a method of dominating, or survival.  criminally insane.  very strong survival instinct, but irrational or confused thinking, like an animal which is trapped, attempting to break free.

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it is just like they teach in church, that satan tries to stop you from being more, or as much as you can be in life.  i want you to be as much as you can be.  good luck and God bless you.  love.  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archon_(Gnosticism)


basically, i am saying "take this job and shove it." don't expect me to do something positive for the public when you don't act like you care about at least trying to protect me from weirdos who are out there. they are childish and sadistic, perverted stalkers.  they want people to know that they get a creepy thrill from stalking me and everyone else, including the police and government.

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a very few of the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with have sex problems, social problems, identity problems, image problems, family problems, friend problems, etc.  they think that they don't fit in, without trying to fit it, so they don't want me to fit in, stupidly childishly harassing me, stalking me, every day.  it is a stupid childish game, with them holding people hostage.  it is like they are telling whoever that they will hold me and others hostage, like for some kind or ransom, or favor, but they don't even communicate with anyone, or have any power, with them having some kind of childish make believe fantasy about being happy.  they are like crazy homeless people.  they are not sophisticated.  just because they can create these contractions in me, which other people also sense, it doesn't mean that they are more advanced that i am, or than we are.  they are no more advanced than i am, with them operating at my level, but they want ignorant people and ignorant government to think that they are more advanced than i am, or that people should think that they are powerful, when they are not.  they are demons who are trapped, angry, bitter, unfriendly, socially lame, weird, unpopular, desperate.  for world governments, you are much better working with someone like me, who can be identified, and who actually has responsibility because of my lack of privacy, rather than people who hide while trying to get someone for themselves.   they can't keep up, so they hold me hostage, pretending as if they have a good reason to hold me hostage.  i didn't sign up for dirty politics.  i signed up to try to help people, everyone.  


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here is a houston,texas police report which i created on 12/01/2016.
the incident number is: 1528227-16
the officer's name: E. Estep
unit #: 20G52N

i would like to create another report, or add to the existing report. i think that people could think that they have a better chance of getting away with murdering me if there is already an existing report. go figure. the report is filed under some mental health category which shouldn't be filed under mental health.  i would like for houston media and national media to be involved with this.  i know that you know about this situation.  i want to communicate with a media investigation person here in houston.
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i have already deleted negative tone information about half a dozen times in the past 2 or 3 years from my website, trying to fight, then not liking what i think that it is doing to the community, trying to fight, then not liking what i think that it is doing to the community, etc. the issue is that i am defenseless, trying to defend myself and others, and that there are weird, childish, very mean people out there. some people feel humiliated by their own personal situations, so they want to humiliate me. they should stop. i have been confused about what to do. i want to stop bad things from spreading, but i don't want a negative, confusing tone or confusing thoughts to dominate the community. i don't like collateral damage.  a few people who are are really not nice or honest, who caused a social problem for themselves, didn't anticipate in the past that i would ever be communicating online, defending myself and the community. then they started to harass me so badly, weird, evil, childish cruelty, in order to try to get me to continue to try to defend myself and the community even more online, in order to try and make it seem like i am a weird, uptight jerk, or a liar, when i am not. my computer work worked against them, publicly, so they tried to make it work against me, publicly. they are evil. it will be difficult to not fight back if they continue to do what they have been doing, since i lack privacy in the way which i do, since it affects my feelings, publicly. a huge amount of pressure.  very difficult or actually impossible to ignore. they probably will continue. it is completely natural to feel the need to fight back against this type of aggression, since it affects your feelings, publicly, and permanently, constantly. you fight back to try to bring a feeling of dignity and peace into your life, like someone who is being raped or violated. they understand this, so they think that they have an opportunity to make me look weird, crazy or evil on the internet, with them also trying to cover up the fact that they are the problem. or trying to fabricate a reason to be harming me, obstructing my life and the lives of others. the people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are weird, childish, evil psychopaths/sociopaths.  anti social personality disorders.  it shouldn't come as a surprise that a person in my situation is being stalked, harassed, violated, in public.

i don't have to like everyone because i am christ.  i don't like mean, dishonest people.  if they want to be that way on their own, then fine, but when they act aggressively toward me, and people who i love and who i am trying to protect, intentionally disrupting our lives, then there is a problem.

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i really don't feel like there is a need to communicate anything more about george h. w. bush, northern trust bank, paris hilton, or thule.org.  one reason is that i have already honestly communicated about these issues, more than once.  the other reason is that i am not evil, with people knowing that.  i am not mean, either.  i'll probably be harmed and mocked even more if i do communicate about these issues again.   it gives childish, evil, fake, mean spirited, socially lame people something to lie about, and to try to spread hate about.  they do it because they got themselves into social trouble.  they want ignorant people to think that because i seem defensive about something, that it means that i am guilty of something, or that there is something more interesting or more important about it than there is.  no.  it is like cheesy, fake, lame tabloid shit.  it isn't important.  
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needed to add it. important.

george h. w. bush stated "1000 points of light", which was unusual and is related to christ. it confused me back in the past when i thought that everything had some special meaning, like a child would think, making me think that maybe i was going to have some official public support if i accomplished something significant for scientists.  i wanted to believe in a happy story then because my life got turned upside down.  i also thought that bush living in houston was some type of sign for me.  my lack of privacy confused me. the thought about doing something good for scientists or the public was despite me having a drug problem at the same time. i thought that what i was going to figure out for scientists was so important that it didn't matter if i was using methamphetamine, studying. i had a weird mental problem because of my unique situation, combined with a weird drug problem. i was addicted to methamphetamine, with it making me think that the future could be unrealistically positive or happy for me and everyone else.  i didn't want to think that God would put me here to create something weird and confusing for the community, knowing that i lacked privacy. this was when i was younger, less mature, and when i had less confidence, or when i was more confused after i first started out. i also thought that skull and bones was more important than it is, or was, like a part of a network of people all over the world who knew that i was going to create something positive, who understood things which they actually don't understand, also because of experiences which i had, and was still having with the supernatural, mostly this black man (who i didn't know was an ignorant black man) acting aggressively toward me. i didn't believe that God would use me as a way of creating something bad or confused for the community, so my mind wanted to believe in something which was unrealistically positive, like an inexperienced child would. in 2002, i was nervous and confused, feeling isolated, hoping that i could do something good and be happy, and i thought that i would write a letter to george h. w. bush, to try to figure out if i was thinking the correct thing, that i was supposed to work on something related to the weather, and also if he seemed like he was acting supportive. the letter was brief, and would have seemed like i wasn't really making a real point. i remember mentioning "1000 points of light", and also something about geomagnetism, thinking that geomagnetic reversals were important, mostly because of a book "fingerprints of the gods", by graham hancock. i became nervous, or had an awkward uncomfortable feeling, while i was working on the letter, thinking that maybe i shouldn't be writing the letter to bush while i was high on methamphetamine, publicly or semi publicly, thinking that it was disrespectful or inappropriate. at that moment, the black man, who i didn't know was a ignorant black man, gave me what felt like, and i think that other people who sensed it would agree with me, a loving, comforting nudge, like "everything is ok", like he was wanting me and the people who he knew were sensing it to think that everything was ok, and that i was not doing something bad in the letter. i didn't know that it was an ignorant black man who was acting aggressively, thinking that he was someone who had special knowledge about the future and who worked for some kind of super government, i thought that maybe george h. w. bush had connections with people everywhere, and that there was a special prophesized understanding of me doing something positive for the community, because my mind couldn't rationalize the situation any other way. i thought that it meant that i was correct for thinking that everything that i was thinking about working a type of miracle was accurate, and that it was prophesized. i didn't want to think that i was supposed to create a mess, with me feeling confused, sad and isolated all of the time, with me knowing that i lacked privacy. i would have stayed way, way, far away from george h. w. bush if this black guy, who i didn't know was an ignorant black guy, had not have acted aggressively in the way which he did at that moment. i would have been sort of scared of george h. w. bush, thinking that some supposed, imaginary government faction was working in opposition to me. it seemed like the black guy was telling everyone that it was ok, and that there was nothing bad in my letter to bush, since i became nervous or felt awkward in the way which i did.  the black man's aggression, at that moment, helped me relax.  i used to think that maybe i was supposed to unite 2 opposing factions in government, like some "scorpion king" did back in egypt (i don't mean the movie), uniting upper (southern) and lower (northern) egypt, sort of child like. i know that the black guy now lies about what his intent was back then.  he turned out to be a phony creep.  he stabbed everyone in the back, years later, after he thought that he and a few black girls made themselves look bad.  i believed or wanted to believe that i was going to figure out something important for scientists, and that i would have support, or love, or peace, or happiness in my life. i didn't want to think that God was cruel. i was young and naive, and also confused, nervous, and i had a very weird drug problem. amphetamine is used to treat sadness or depression, but i don't need an antidepressant. it caused me to have unrealistic, positive hopes and thoughts about the world's future, everyone, with an interest in geomagnetism or the weather, thinking that i was, or that maybe i was supposed to work a miracle, not thinking that God would want to use me as a way of creating something weird and confusing for everyone. the situation was also confused with me thinking that maybe i really didn't have any responsibility, or that what i was doing really didn't matter, because i was not officially together with anyone who was indicating that they knew about me. i wouldn't expect me to accomplish anything really good for the community, if no one who was indicating that they knew who i was, socialized with me, being friendly, publicly, giving me or other people an opportunity to shine. don't be surprised if you create a weird confused freak. i thought that george h. w. bush was part of some kind of imaginary hocus pocus, abracadabra world organization, which was about "prophecy", which knew specific things about me, which was about benevolence or charity, even though i had a drug problem. part of the issue was that i knew that i had a drug problem, and that i was trying to justify my use of methamphetamine. i am sure that many people have thought all kinds of crazy, untrue crap about the bush family, and skull and bones, and that the bush family would agree with me. i thought that the fact that bush lived in houston was a sign, because i also live in houston. i was young and naive, like a child. i apologize to the bush family about any confusion this may cause them. people who know me well probably thought that my old drug problem was weird, funny and sad.

one of the reasons that i was confused about the importance of george h. w. bush was because the black man acted aggressively toward me, at least once, when i was looking at bush's old office building from the terrace of my old friend's apartment.  i was thinking something about masons or an imaginary network of people who i thought knew about me, thinking that they knew specific things about me, or that it was prophesized, that i would do good in the world, sort of child like.  i don't think that i would have thought about going to bush's old office if i wouldn't have known where his office was located.  my old friend who owned the apartment is the one who told me that it was bush's office at that location, but there was nothing inappropriate going on, or discussed.  they didn't know who i was.  for some time, i thought that it was george h. w. bush who was acting aggressively toward me; meaning, the aggression which the black man is capable of delivering.  


as far as northern trust bank goes, i wasn't interested in banks or banking, not at all, and i did nothing unethical. i didn't drive to a bank. i wasn't thinking of a bank or banks. i saw a sign for northern trust bank in the elevator at george h. w. bush' office. i drove to george h. w. bush's office in 2005 to drop off some sentimental items, i think mostly because i just wanted to see what his office looked like, but also because i felt awkward in public, wanting to feel secure, knowing that i had a weird drug problem, wanting to feel as if i could be liked or accepted, probably also protected, even though i knew that people knew that i had a weird drug problem, thinking that maybe i was a part of some kind of network of people who did unique work for the world. i was also confused about my drug usage, because in a way i thought that it was ok to use because it made me optimistic, and gave me energy to study.  it was confused.  i also thought that maybe it didn't matter, because i didn't have any special responsibility, or that no one who indicated that they knew who i am would ever speak to me, publicly.  i used to think about being able to have a cool government job, being able to help everyone in a unique way. i wanted to think that i wouldn't always be isolated, confused and sad, and that i could be around people at a job. weird mental problem because of what this black guy had been doing to me for years, being aggressive in a weird way, plus other experiences, combined with a weird drug problem, methamphetamine. i used to feel and think that i could not do anything without using methamphetamine. i still have meth using fantasies, but i would definitely never use again. it would make me feel awkward and uncomfortable in public. i did some studying for several years. in 2006, when i was in a car as a passenger, going to get vietnamese food, just happening to be driving by a northern trust bank location on bering drive in houston, texas, the black man's reaction (aggression toward me) to the driver (nothing unethical) stating something about northern trust bank, and a minimum investment of 5 million dollars, caused me to react to the black man's reaction to the driver. i think that the black man was wanting me to understand some point about 50 (messiah) or 5 (5 + 0), or me not having a special involvement with george h. w. bush, but i misunderstood what he meant by it. the black man had been observing me working with numbers for years already, every week for 4 years, adding digits together until a single digit is derived.  50 years to counsel, 360 x 60 x 60 = 1,296,000, like 50 x 25,920 = 1,296,000. BUSH can equal 50, as B = 2, U = 21, S = 19, H = 8.  i thought that i was being told by this black man, who i didn't know was an ignorant black man, that northern trust bank was something good for the world, for everyone, and that i was supposed to be involved in it. i became excited about it, but didn't understand exactly how it would work, thinking at the time that i should just keep it to myself and have faith. he knew immediately that he confused me, and then made a sick, childish, disrespectful joke about it, with me not understanding what he was doing at the time, like he just gave up on himself. after he knew that i thought that it meant that northern trust bank was something special for everyone, and antarctica, he referred to the south, or antarctica, after he knew that he confused me, wanting to intentionally confuse me even more. he was being an irresponsible smart ass about how the south or antarctica was the opposite direction of george bush's office in the north, knowing that i wouldn't understand. now i do understand. i didn't understand that he was an ignorant uncaring black man, just trying to cover up for the fact that he was the main reason that i was in george h. w. bush's office to begin with. i thought that the black man, who i didn't know was an ignorant, incompetent black man, was somebody or something with special knowledge about me and the future. i am glad that i communicated about northern trust bank eventually, because it was causing me to act weird, publicly, with me thinking that i had to keep it to myself, stuck in an awkward situation. i didn't want to communicate it at first, because i didn't think that i was supposed to, because i didn't have all of the answers, not understanding how it would work, not wanting people to get crazy about it. people would have probably gone "so what is this?! and what is that?! what are you?! and who is that?!" there is absolutely no need for panic. i know what i am communicating about, when i communicate about this person who i now know is an ignorant black man, i have 26 years experience. i thought that the meaning was that many wealthy people were going to invest at northern trust bank, which would generate money or interest or whatever you would call it, so that all banks, or so that all people would benefit. i believed, or wanted to believe, that antarctica, because i was young and naive, and because of a file which mentioned antarctica, which i read in 1997, which was not as important as i thought it was, and because of what this black man did to me, was going to be a good place to be, something which would bridge this period of development with the next period of development, because of an ice age. then i tried to protect people from the bank a few years later after i thought that something about it didn't seem right. there is proof with a black woman who used to work at a northern trust bank location on kirby drive, houston, texas (beginning of 2011). i took her a letter which i had typed and mailed to the northern trust legal department in chicago in 2010 or 2011. i explained in the letter that private information was made public, thinking that my house had been broken into. i don't think anymore that my house was broken into. i am glad that i communicated about northern trust eventually. i was feeling weird about it for 3 years (2006 to 2009). northern trust bank is not involved in anything shady, there is no reason for alarm. it was just a misunderstanding. it wasn't my initial thought or idea; meaning, i had no interest in banks, banking or business. this black man knew that he had confused me, and didn't or doesn't want to take responsibility for it, lying with black women about my character because they have embarrassed themselves. i thought that everything which i was doing had some special meaning which it didn't. i had started to write a screenplay, and i thought that i was supposed to share information about northern trust bank with johnny depp, thinking that it was my duty. i have not been interested in writing a screenplay since 2013. i shredded all of the work. i sent 84 pages of work to the viper room in 2010. it was a start, and i was going to go back over the dialogue. i was happy with the scene by scene structure, being one scene away from the first 1/3rd of the movie. i didn't communicate in the letter to johnny depp that i received unusual communication from this black man, or anything about antarctica. i just stated that i saw a sign for northern trust bank in the elevator at george h. w. bush's office when i went there in 2005, which is true. me seeing the sign for northern trust bank in the elevator is what the black man was referring to in 2006 when we drove by a northern trust bank location because he has my vision in his left eye. he mixed the bank with george h. w. bush's office, which confused me, stupidly implying that i was not TRUSTworthy, when this black guy is the one who isn't to be trusted, because he knew that he was the main reason that i was in george h. w. bush's office.  he thinks that he makes himself look bad, when he really doesn't, but because he is so insecure, he makes a big stupid deal of it, trying to put it off on me, blatantly shady or thug like. i was implying to johnny depp that maybe it was a reputable or good bank, but i thought that people had to determine that on their own. i stated "i am not intentionally steering you in that direction, but you might want to check it out" or "i am not trying to intentionally steer you in that direction, but you might want to check it out". i don't think that johnny depp ever got my mail, because i sent it to the viper room, not knowing that he didn't work there anymore. people talk stupid crap about me, lying, stating that i did something unethical when i didn't do anything unethical. they insult me, trying to make it seem like i was trying to hustle my way into hollywood when i i wasn't doing that at all. my writing work was a completely separate issue. i thought that it was 2 good things for people.  again, i thought that it was my duty to communicate something about northern trust bank to johnny depp, and that it was part of a bigger God plan for the world. i had the best of intentions and the black man was part of the issue. the black man confused me, but it doesn't matter, because i am not evil. this black man lies, stating that i reacted to the information which the driver of the car gave about northern trust and 5 million dollars before he did. i didn't. he reacted to it, which caused me to react to him. he didn't know that he was going to cause me to write about it, then creating all of this unnecessary drama, and then the black guy tried to cover it up.  i know that he lies because he has attacked me and people who he knows will defend me like a weird, crazy, insecure, evil, sadistic pig, wanting us to know that he was lying about the situation, making a smart ass, ugly, sick joke of it. he did or does this in order to try to humiliate people who rightfully criticize him. he is an insecure black man.  he tells black women to just lie, because he thinks that they have made themselves look so bad.  the black man motioned to the opposite side of the street from the bank, east, which i thought had something to do with the world.  he just meant "get out of bush's office" or "there is no special connection with you and bush", but i didn't understand it, because of everything else which the black man had done up until that point.  now the black man is lying, stating that i had some thought to write to johnny depp about it, west, before he motioned to the east.  i didn't.  i reacted to the black man's reaction, not to the driver's mention of northern trust bank and 5 million dollars.  the black man didn't know that i would then think that i was supposed to write about it to johnny depp, in the west.  in other words, the black man is lying.  he was playing childish, unnecessary games.  i am trustworthy.  just because i used to have a weird drug problem, doesn't mean that i am not trustworthy.

i wasn't wanting paris hilton to give me money. i liked, and still like to earn my own money. i got stuck in an unusual, awkward, confusing public situation in a grocery store in 2008, thinking that a white woman who was standing behind me in the checkout line one night was giving me a dumb look, wanting to insult me and hilton, wanting to take away my pride, so i reacted to this in a defensive, confused way, and did nothing wrong, with people knowing that i did nothing wrong. i had pride in my own work and own money which i was earning. now i think that the white woman was only flirting a little bit with me. i just misunderstood what was happening all around me at the time. i reacted to the look she had on her face, and then needed to take change out of the change dish in the grocery store, needing to pull the change toward me, thinking of my own jobs, my own money, my own pride, but mixed with a thought about hilton and i having worth or value together, since i thought that the woman was insulting us, and it got all confused. i pulled the change out of the metal change dish slightly more aggressively than normal, but you wouldn't have known that unless you were sensing it. it was confused for 1 or 2 seconds, because the more i thought that i wasn't a problem with money, the more it would seem as if there was a problem, when there wasn't, so my mind reacted by being more aggressive, not wanting to take it out slowly, as if there was a problem or as if i had been thinking of doing something wrong. it confused me because i am not a money problem, so i talked about it when i got back to my apartment about 10 minutes later. then the next day this weird, childish, creepy, fake, evil, sadistic, stupid, ugly attitude black women who i am in activity with assaulted me, non verbal/verbal communication, at the same store, knowing that i did nothing wrong, knowing that other people knew that i did nothing wrong, wanting to try to separate me from being loved and earning money. she wanted to humiliate me, weird cruelty in public, knowing that i did nothing wrong, and that it was just an unusual situation. i called her a name. she deserved to be called a name. i was trying to be funny about it. i also apologized to innocent black women, with me thinking that they got their feelings hurt. then unfortunately, a bunch of black women turned fake, childish, mean and evil, pretending as if they thought that i was the problem because they were confused, or because that one black woman had embarrassed them. they should move on with their lives. the irony is that i have had so much trouble with trouble with females, since 2008, because i was wanting to lift the spirit of a female, hilton, being loving, having written to her when she was in jail in 2007. i felt sorry for her, seeing a photograph of her crying in the back of a police car.

paris hilton should not have been playing unnecessary, childish, cryptic games with me, or other people, having sent me several things back through the mail, cryptic junk, wanting to toy with me in public, wanting attention, knowing that i lack privacy in the way which i do. also, weird, childish, cryptic phone calls from her, toying with me and everyone else, with her wanting attention. she didn't conclude it in a respectful, civil way, acting as if she cared about trying to create long term order for the community. she was more interested in childishly, greedily entertaining herself (and probably her sister). it seems like she wanted to harm my reputation if i was not promoting her, like she has trouble promoting herself. she preyed on me, publicly. she wanted to see if she could use me, and so she tried to, and she thought that it started to work, but then it didn't work for her, because she was only playing cheesy, childish games in public, and not communicating anything substantial or conclusive with the use of words. she has done so much unnecessary harm to so many people, all over the world, creating so much unnecessary confusion and tension, like the way i feel at this moment typing this, playing childish, disrespectful, rich kid games. i wasn't a fan of hers, i was neutral.

as far as thule.org goes, i didn't have an interest in, nor was i, or am i, an advocate of white supremacy. thule is the name of a mythological place, like planet earth can be a mythological place, but it is also the name of a circle of people who were involved with hitler, or the 3rd reich.  i don't believe in white supremacy, and i never would believe in it. in fact, i tried to protect black people in 1997, when i inadvertently learned something about antarctica and the third reich, back in 1997, thinking that i was going to be murdered, right before i was checked into the psychiatric ward at the houston michael debakey va hospital for the first time. i have knowingly tried to help black or colored people at other times, too. the person who shared information with me, an internet file about antarctica and the third reich, wasn't looking for something about white supremacy, either. i think that you can find the same file by searching 'omega file' on the internet. i haven't read all of it, and i am not telling other people that they should read all of it. people knew about this information back around 2002 or 2003, but some of them will probably now play dumb, lying about my heart or character. thule can simply be the name of a hyperborea. planet earth would be a thule. so would another inhabitable planet somewhere else. i shared information about thule.org to the public, in the past, and anyone could have contacted the person there. i was, and am still not hiding anything. all i wanted to do was to try to help people, everyone, so i thought that maybe i was supposed to be involved in, or know about something (thule) which would enable me to be able to do this. people knew this, but after they embarrassed themselves, starting in 2008, they went back into my past, being fake and socially lame, trying to make it seem like i didn't have a good heart or that i was a mean white supremacist when i am definitely not. i believe that the guy who i used to email at thule.org was trying to help all people, but i didn't know him that well. the person who shared information with me about antarctica and the third reich was actually looking for information about the ark of the covenant. also, antarctica is not a german project anymore. it is an american project, as with operation high jump (1947). i communicated about this many times in the past. it was my hope and thought that it was, or is, diverse. i believe that it is. the irony is that i thought that i was being told that i was involved with antarctica, or that maybe that i was involved is something in antarctica, which i believed or wanted to believe was something positive and diverse, by a black man who i have communicated about, who was trying to motivate me to do something, who i didn't know was an ignorant black man. now i do know that he is an ignorant black man. i also know now that he is an evil, weird, childish, insecure back stabber. they now have documentaries on television about antarctica and the third reich. i wanted to help people, everyone, and i knowingly had a dream about love and diversity, wanting to think that God was a loving God, thinking that it was what america and i were all about, thinking that it was the only thing which made sense, and people knew this because i spoke out loud about it many, many times, trying to understand and explain my situation. i have never communicated with anyone about hating jews or blacks or any type of person who wasn't white, and i wouldn't communicate with anyone who was wanting to communicate with me about doing this. there is good in all races or religions.

i had also given paris hilton my old email address and password, hoping that she would help me print the messages which i had saved from thule.org, thinking that i wanted to try to work some of them into the screenplay which i was working on. i sent her $20 for her time. i never got any printed work, and i never got $20 back. i wasn't doing anything shady or oppressive toward anyone. i would have been willing to share my email with everyone. i assumed back then that i might meet and talk with hilton in person eventually, so i wouldn't have cared about anything we talked about, publicly, because there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.  i was excited about working on the screenplay and i was also wanting to establish trust and openness with everyone, since i lack privacy. i didn't think about how it could put put paris hilton in an awkward situation, and i apologize to her for that. i didn't think that it mattered, since i lack privacy all of the time, and since people know what i am doing all of the time, and since people know that i am not evil. i didn't have a computer which was online, or a printer, at the time that i asked hilton to help me. i didn't get into computers and smart phones like everyone else did when they came out. i hardly get any email. i really don't have anyone who i associate with, except now for my girlfriend. i thought that hilton wanted to be closer to me than she did in the past, because of the way which she communicated cryptic, childish crud. i was not telling her to hate blacks or jews or anyone else.

refer to the post above about northern trust bank. it is the part after george h. w. bush.

i have already honestly communicated about it, more than once, but i am mocked by a few evil people who got themselves into social trouble by playing games. when i was driving by the northern trust bank in 2006, as a passenger, when the driver of the car mentioned something about northern trust bank, and a minimum deposit of 5 million dollars, the black guy referred to the right, or east side of my body, which i thought meant something about God, or sun, or the world. something positive. i also thought that it had something to do with the shriner's recognition test, which i don't think anymore. the bank was on the left, or west side of the street. he was just telling me to get out of bush's office, or to get away and forget about george h. w. bush, since the sign for northern trust bank was in bush's office. what the black guy did was stupid and irresponsible though, since he knew that he (the black guy) was the main reason why i was in george h. w. bush's office, in 2005, because of the letter which i wrote to bush in 2002, and also that i just wanted to help people, being TRUSTworthy, and that i was just confused, with a bad, really weird drug problem. this black guy made my drug problem worse and worse. he knew that. actually, he thought that it was interesting for me to get him high. the black guy thought that he had created a problem for himself, playing unnecessary games, so he immediately tried to put it off on me. that is what he does. he is a very childish, very insecure black man, with a serious attitude problem. the black guy mixed the bank and george h. w. bush's office together, because there was a sign for northern trust bank in the elevator of george h. w. bush's old office. after he created a mess which he didn't know that he was going to create, causing me to write about northern trust bank to california, he lied and stated that i was thinking something about california, or the west, and that it was the reason he stimulated me on the right side of my body, or the east. he is lying, saying that i was the one who reacted to the driver's statement about a minimum investment of 5 million dollars, when it was his reaction to what the driver stated. it is obvious that he lies, and tells people to lie for him, because of the way which he has attacked me and other people, referring to the west or east. he thinks that he can get away with being evil and fake, because he thinks that he can make up any story he wants to, because he is not communicating with the use of conclusive statements, using words. he implies that he doesn't have to work (communicate), just like other people do, and that he deserves special treatment, like he is some kind of God or something. he is an ignorant, incompetent, weird human. he is not a God.
 
i don't think that it should matter that i communicate anything more about this really old crap. i think that people get all excited because it involves famous people, or a bank. it isn't important and it isn't exciting because i am not evil. full stop.
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this black man and mexican girl who people know about are desperately trying to fool people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't understand english, trying to make them think that i did something really wrong in the past when i didn't. they have the bad heart. they have the evil intent. they mix stupid, unimportant things together in order to try to make people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't understand english, think that something is important, or that i have an attitude problem, when it isn't important, and when i i don't have an attitude problem. they are nervous about their current life and future lives. they also want people to know that they are evil, because they are trying to make people defend me, so that they can say that the people who defend me are evil or fake.

i feel like i am stuck with evil druggies in the dope scene, even if the people who are betraying me and the community aren't actually using drugs. that is what these people make me feel like. it is like they are shady people who fuck people over for dope, or money so that they can get dope, in order to try to make themselves feel better, or so that they can be around people who they can get something from. it is a few of the 144,000 who have personal problems or identity problems. they want people to think that they are interesting or special, but are confused about how they do or don't relate to me, or what people think about them when compared to me. they want to have fun but have trouble. they shouldn't interfere with my ability to have fun. i feel for them, but it doesn't give them an excuse to blatantly lie or harm others. i hope that it works out for them. maybe it will. i hope it does.

this black man and mexican girl who i refer to in the beginning of this section of this website are trying to bully the government. it has a weird ego problem. sort of like an animal. i think negative alien. i wish that the government and/or police would issue an official public statement about this situation, or the situation which i know that they know about. this creature (singular, even though it is definitely 2 different people) assumes that i will never get official government protection. it assumes that nobody will have official government protection. it thinks like a criminal. actually, it is criminally insane. scary. weird.  please help. the government needs to protect itself. the government needs to protect the community.  i have read about negative aliens, and this seems to match. psychopathic. it lacks empathy. predatorial.  it is a weird, angry creature, which doesn't care about pleasure, in general.  it likes to harass humans for its' sick childish amusement.

i have been trying to defend myself and the community when i am defenseless. that is why it looked weird, excessive and obnoxious.  it creates the impression that i am not as confident as i am.  ignorant people can't imagine how evil, childish, perverted and sadistic the people who are acting aggressive are.  they want others to know that they think that it is fun to irritate a unique person in public.  i don't think that i will ever really be happy again, even though i am a cheerful person by nature.  i am not stating this because i am a weak or negative person, but because the very few people who are being unnecessarily aggressive have demonstrated that they have weird mental problems, or anti social personality disorders.

i wish that the police or government would make an official public statement about this situation, or the fact that people have testified that i am being stalked and harassed.  i believe that a statement would act as a deterrent.  the very few people who are being unnecessarily aggressive believe that no one will ever make an official public statement about me, acting as if they are showing me some respect, or as if they trying to protect me.  ignorant people don't understand how weird and cruel this is for me and others.  i believe that if an official public statement was made about situation, that the people who are stalking me and the community would lose interest in continuing to do the same thing. like children who need to be disciplined.  


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please go to the 'important 3' section of this website. click on photographs and read comments.

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i also went to george h. w. bush's office in 2011, not high on drugs, confused, scared, listening for his voice, imagining that he was trying to make some type of arrangement at the united nations for my protection.  ignorant people wouldn't believe how weird this situation has been, mostly because of how their was evidence that i was in constant 24/7 activity with people, and also because of the unusual physical contraction communication which i receive, or can receive, with me earlier not understanding who was delivering it, or why.  i had been sober from illicit drugs for 4 years, since 2007, prior to going to george h. w. bush's office in 2011.  i continued to abstain from illicit drugs for another 8 and 1/2 years.  i broke down and used methamphetamine on one occasion at the very end of 2020, and then another time, on one occasion, a few months later in the beginning of 2021.  i cried after using both times.  i have not used since then and i know that i never would again.  i told my family and girlfriend about what i did, so as to make it impossible for me to do it again.  it wouldn't make me happy anyway.  it would just make me feel stupid and uncomfortable, publicly.  i also scared the middleman guy who i used to get it from off, after the last time that i used.  someone who i am in constant 24/7 activity with sent me a warning about how it was a problem, and i told the middleman guy about that in 2021 after the second time that i used, and i know for sure that he doesn't want to have anything to do with me.  i definitely wouldn't do it again because i am under the impression that people want to help me financially.  please don't judge me too much because i have used drugs in my past.  i did it because i felt sad and fed up of really weird crap, but i am doing much better now that i have worked since the fall of 2021, have worked on art and taken some good photographs, and am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend and family.  back to george h. w. bush's office in 2011.  i was and still am going through something very weird, with some people inflicting blatant harm on me.  i was taken to the houston VA hospital psychiatric ward from george h. w. bush's office by the houston police, and interviewed at the hospital by the secret service a few days later.  i have been interviewed by the secret service 3 times in my life.  the first time in 2011 after i went crazy, having left panic voice messages with the offices of john mccain and hillary clinton, scared, after i my blood had been intentionally infected when i was at a care facility.  i thought at that time that everyone knew about it, thinking that i was in activity with everyone, and that no one cared, and that something really evil was occurring within government and everywhere else. i hated the police, because of what happened to me in la grange, texas, thinking that i was being mocked and ignored by all police and all government.  i don't hate the police anymore.  the first interview with secret service was at my old home on tabor street conducted by a female agent named frohliche and male.  frohliche and a different male interviewed me at the houston VA hospital psych ward after the george h. w. bush 2011 office incident.  i was interviewed in 2014 by 2 different secret service agents, a male and a female, at my current home, who were associated with then texas governor rick perry's office, when i sent correspondence to i think 13 different government offices, with the use of the regular mail system, explaining the insanity of this world situation, trying to be euthanized at a hospital.  i wanted to be shown official respect in public before i was killed.  i also assumed that people who i am in activity with were also corresponding to offices, trying to make my death happen, because they knew that i was working on writing the correspondence.  i spoke i think 2 more times after the interview at my home with that female agent.  she seemed to be trying to figure out if i was a problem, but there was nothing more after that.  she gave me her name and number, but i don't think that i have it anymore.  i don't want to be put to sleep anymore.  my life is difficult, but i have made some progress.  i still wish that an official public statement was made about me, because i think that it would act as a deterrent against a few socially lame childish sadistic stalkers.  they stalk everyone.  they want people to know that it excites them to harm people emotionally.  it can be typical in public situations.  in a way i was more confused then, thinking that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone.  i thought that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone from 2008 to 2012.  before that i wasn't sure how many people it was.  i wasn't able to focus in on concept of 144,000 until later.  in the beginning, the thought of being in constant 24/7 activity with just a few people was confusing, because i didn't understand how we would work together, or how they would work with others, or what the social or work goal was.  the thought of it being everyone made more sense in my mind, for a while, because i felt like a more meaningful or understandable purpose or task was being fulfilled.  i began to think that it was everyone when i was betrayed and assaulted by the black woman who i am in constant 24/7 activity with at the grocery store in 2008.  i couldn't imagine that one of my own people would intentionally betray, harm me and the community in that way, so i began to think that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone, and that there was both good and bad people.  i stopped thinking that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone, after thinking it for 4 years, when i was being released from the harris county jail in 2012, after thinking that the government was never going to let me out of jail, realizing that most of what i had been thinking about my situation for years was delusional.  in other words, what i experienced mentally for the 4 months that i was in the harris county jail was so bizarre that i was finally able to snap out delusional thinking.  one of the offices i sent correspondence to in 2014, trying to be officially euthanized, was the white house, with president barack obama being there.  i get the feeling that my mail would have been stolen by black women who work in mail, because they had stolen it before, and because they would have wanted me to feel as if i was being ignored in the event that obama would have corresponded, with black women wanting to provoke my anger, wanting to make an unnecessary racial issue of it, trying to make me unpopular publicly.  this is the same reason that they infected my blood with something which targeted my digestive system; to confuse me and provoke my anger, publicly.  you would assume that i would have been corresponded with, officially from the white house, about suicide prevention.  i am not upset with the obamas.  i have great respect for them.  i was very very angry with them for some time in the past, when i was thinking that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone, including them, thinking that everyone was knowing that something absolutely absolutely horrifying was happening to me, and that no one cared.  i was eventually corresponded with about suicide prevention, after i started to send correspond electronically to the white house, after i correspondence which i sent with the use of the regular mail system.  another issue is that what good is it for me to have talked with someone about suicide prevention, when they either don't know about my real situation because no one who knows about my real situation has told them, or when they would know about my real situation, but act like they don't care.  i honestly have no desire anymore to die before my natural time, even when or if my life is extremely confusing.  i told people yesterday that i accomplished the mission, or the met the objective, but am still stuck in what could be compared to a war zone.

that information is very important for the public, including government.

i didn't want to confuse the spirit of the olympics closing ceremony, but we still had, or maybe have, some issues to work through.  the olympics wasn't or wouldn't be the only thing on my mind.  i didn't even think of the olympics yesterday when i worked.   

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i fine tuned comments in different files in the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website. 

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i am going to try to coordinate with houston, texas channel 2 (NBC) news investigators, sending them an email after i type this.  i want to let people know what i am doing. I should not be wrongfully discriminated against, nor should anyone else in the community.  people should be able to feel as if they can communicate openly and candidly about what they know about me and this situation.  this is not an unusual situation.  apparently i am here all of the time, or frequently.  a blink of an eye to God.  not just 2 christs.  

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*
it important for me to state that i was able to give people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000), who are situated in places all around the world, who speak different languages, an opportunity to locate my website on the internet.  i translated my full name, as my full name would enable someone to locate my website, into the numbers corresponding to each letter of my full name, as the place values of each letter in the latin alphabet.  i explained many times by speaking out loud, and with body language, what i was doing, so i think that it worked.  i used google translate, with audio function when it was available, typing numbers spaced with commas, as the numbers corresponded to the place value of the letters of my full name, using the latin alphabet.  for example, a = 1, b = 2.  when the google translate audio function was not available for some languages, i was able to give people the information myself, verbally, using information from omniglot as a reference, and method of performing the conversion into numbers myself.  in other words, when i speak out loud, it is sensed by others who i am in constant 24/7 activity with.  interesting work.  God bless you...\

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i corresponded with houston, texas channel 2 television (NBC) investigates.  investigation ideas.  i made an online submission.  today is 8/11/24.

i am not implying that channel 2 must do something.
but some kind of response would put me at ease, thanx.

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when i went to george h. w. bush's office in 2011, it was late at night.  i did not go into the office building and talk with anyone.  the building was locked.  i thought that bush was inside of the building and that something weird was going on with different government security agencies, listening for voices. i stood outside the building, trying to understand what was going on, when nothing was going on inside of the building.  apparently the real building security called the houston police.  they took me to the houston VA hospital psychiatric people. 
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i sent this message to whitehouse.gov on 8/31/24.  sent to both president joe biden and vice president kamala harris, same message sent to each office, both president and vice president offices.


Mr. President.  I think that you know who I am, and something about the unique situation which I am in.  It is very difficult when I don't have any official public support.  People all over the world are being intentionally made sick every day by a few evil, childish, socially lame people, in order to try to make something about Christ seem unpopular.  The people who are being unnecessarily aggressive think that they can't survive if Christ, or people who are Christ like, are popular, because they think that people think that they don't have anything in common with Christ, or people who are Christ like, positive, honest, loving people.  They are thugs who think that they can bully the community with blatant, unintelligent ugliness, including bullying the government, assuming that the government will never try to protect the people or itself.  This isn't church, whereby typically the people who attend already have a humble, submissive, loving attitude toward God, and toward each other as a community.  The people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are childish, evil, socially lame losers, who don't have honest goals.  Sort of like homeless crazy people who need to be defended against.  They are like people who assault people with assault weapons at socials events which most people want to be happy events, wanting the people who are harmed emotionally to know that it excited them to do harm.  Please help get this on track for the world.  The people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are like obnoxious children who need order to be enforced.  It wouldn't take much.  I am not in any trouble with the law.  There should be a unified global understanding of my presence.  Otherwise, when i die, it will leave a void, or a vacuum, which I fear will be an international public security issue.  

My website is:  joshuaevanmishler-pinnacle1.com.

People who I am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000) know that i am sending this message.  Please try to help.  Thanx.

VP Harris.  I think that you know who I am, and something about the unique situation which I am in.  It is very difficult when I don't have any official public support.  People all over the world are being intentionally made sick every day by a few evil, childish, socially lame people, in order to try to make something about Christ seem unpopular.  The people who are being unnecessarily aggressive think that they can't survive if Christ, or people who are Christ like, are popular, because they think that people think that they don't have anything in common with Christ, or people who are Christ like, positive, honest, loving people.  They are thugs who think that they can bully the community with blatant, unintelligent ugliness, including bullying the government, assuming that the government will never try to protect the people or itself.  This isn't church, whereby typically the people who attend already have a humble, submissive, loving attitude toward God, and toward each other as a community.  The people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are childish, evil, socially lame losers, who don't have honest goals.  Sort of like homeless crazy people who need to be defended against.  They are like people who assault people with assault weapons at socials events which most people want to be happy events, wanting the people who are harmed emotionally to know that it excited them to do harm.  Please help get this on track for the world.  The people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are like obnoxious children who need order to be enforced.  It wouldn't take much.  I am not in any trouble with the law.  There should be a unified global understanding of my presence.  Otherwise, when i die, it will leave a void, or a vacuum, which I fear will be an international public security issue.  

My website is:  joshuaevanmishler-pinnacle1.com.

People who I am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000) know that i am sending this message.  Please try to help.  Thanx.

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the message above which i sent to the president and vice president of the united states doesn't mean that i am stuck up.  people don't have to go to church if they don't want to, figuratively communicating, but they should not get in the way of people who do want to go to church, figuratively communicating.

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No one could be blatantly, childishly, strangely stalked and bullied, like i have been and still am, and remain calm, given the situation.  not the pope.  not mother theresa.  no one.  in fact, it makes a person who is loving and caring even more angry than a person who isn't loving and caring.  some people are playing stupid because they don't want any real responsibility.
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just because i had a love dream, and they didn't, or couldn't, doesn't mean that i didn't.  get real.  leave me and other people alone.

I WISH THAT THE POLICE OR GOVERNMENT WOULD LET ME KNOW THAT THEY PUT OUT AN OFFICIAL, PUBLIC STATEMENT ABOUT THIS UNIQUE SITUATION; AN ATTEMPT TO CREATE A DETERRENT.  THERE IS EVIDENCE WITH TESTIMONY THAT I AM BEING HARASSED AND STALKED SINCE 2008.  IT IS EXTREMELY DAMAGING TO MY SPIRIT AND THE SPIRIT OF OTHER INNOCENT PEOPLE WHO ARE SITUATED WORLDWIDE.  SOCIALLY LAME, EVIL, CRUEL, PSYCHOPATHIC PEOPLE DO IT WHEN THEY THINK THAT THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.  A FORM OF CHILDISH, WEIRD ANARCHY.  THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD SHOULD NOT FEEL ABANDONED BY GOVERNMENT.  IT PROJECTS WEAKNESS OF THE GOVERNMENT.  PLEASE TRY TO HELP.

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE FEEL AS IF THEY ARE ALLOWED TO PUBLICLY, SECURELY COMMUNICATE ABOUT A REAL PROBLEM WHICH MOST PEOPLE IN AMERICA KNOW EXISTS?  MANY PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORD ARE SUFFERING, AND THIS HAS THE POTENTIAL TO CREATE GOSSIP WHICH CAN ADVERSELY AFFECT WORLD, AND FUTURE WORLD SECURITY..


why would it be a problem to state, publicly, that some black women are very very mean, fake and childish, when that is obviously what they want to be known for?  seriously.  that is the image they want.  in america?  it is not the image i want or have.  they choose to play dumb and be lazy, and they shouldn't.  a few socially lame, thug like, low class black girls are trying to bully other black girls, or black people in general.  they have detestable, cheesy thug like, low class attitudes.  a few black girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, WHO DON'T WORK, who have mental problems, who are obviously think low class, who are trying to hustle, trying to bully and run people, are like thug black girls who sit in a jail cell.  it isn't going to work.  they obviously wanted to spread their thug hustle all over black female america since 2008, being totally childish and fake, implying that they are God and that i am not, trying to steal something from me.  they are a real danger to national security, playing stupid, childish games with computers and phones, racists.  guess what?  you can't have it.  as much as you want to have it, you aren't going to take it from me.  i am sorry if black girls got confused, because of ONE evil, childish, sadistic black women, who i called a name, in 2008.  they are thug like, low class common thieves.  they think that they made themselves look bad, and then try to take everyone down with them.  you're not taking everyone down with you.  bye bye.  go away.  they don't give a damn about themselves, or other black people, or anyone.  lazy and irresponsible. 


the black guy and mexican who i have communicated about in the first part of this section of this website are trying to trick ignorant people into thinking that they are not human, or in human bodies on earth, trying to create gossip all over the world.  at first they did want people to know who they were.  now they are trying to hide.  they fear being killed in this life, or in future lives.  actually, they are trying to work it so that they can hide, or get something from someone, if they think that they can get away with it.  they know that they can easily be identified because of the unusual issue they developed with their left eye.  they are not gods.  they are no more gods than i am a god.  i am a human on earth.  i am in a human body.  they are in human bodies.

the few people who got themselves into social trouble over the year try to make it seem like if i honestly write something about the situation on my website, that i am fake.  then, if i don't honestly write something about the situation on my website, they imply that ignorant people could or should think that anyone else who honestly writes about the situation are fake.  the few people who got themselves into social trouble over the years actually hate the internet, but pretend as if it works for them, being fake.  they don't even care if people know that they are fake.  they want to imply that they have a reason to be lazy and uncaring.

the black man and mexican girl are trying to put the 144,000 at odds with itself, trying to deceive people who i came into constant 24/7 activity with, after i translated my full name, or website address, into different languages around the world in the year 2024.  the black man and mexican girl are trying to avoid being killed in this life, or their future lives.

the mexican girl is lying to her parents, stating that someone else besides her is being aggressive with the physical contractions which she can create with the use of the concentration of her mind, trying to deceive her parents for inheritance money.  i told her a long time ago to come out and talk to me, actually communicating to me and everyone else something real and conclusive, and she did exactly what i didn't want her to do, digging herself into a hole.  ignorant people have no idea about how nice i was to this girl in the beginning.

squared away.  high and tight.  outstanding.  high speed, low drag.  good to go.  hoorah.  drive on.  lock and load. 

it won't do me or the world any good to not give me or other people responsibility, like it or not.  waste of my time and other people's time.  i have to know who i am in order for this to work correctly each time each time that i am here.  someone has to tell me.  this time i was able to figure it out on my own, eventually.  part of the way that i figured out who i am was in the summer of 1997, with people involving me in a church organization who knew who i was, but who didn't want to tell me who i was, i think because they thought that it would confuse me.  i was able to figure out later on that they knew who i was.  tell me who i am when i am about 10 years old.  it doesn't do the world any good for me to be here, and to not know who i am, and for people to not know about me.  it potentially creates security problems for the world because of gossip, or a lack or order, in the present incarnation, and in future incarnations.  people benefit when their minds and spirits are more engaged, even if difficult at first.  good parents give their children challenges, because they believe in them, also offering them moral support and guidance when in need.  good luck.  

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i copied important information from the 'for your information' section of this website, pasted it to close to the top of this section of this website.  link to great pyramid.  alpha draconis.  satan.  draconian.  information about archons.  you can also do search for archons and negative aliens.  i think that it is related.  

i think that if the government would make an official, public story about me, showing some support and confidence, i think that these things would back off.  i am not crazy.  they try to dominate with ugly psychological warfare and deception.  they assume that i will be fair game, along with everyone else who is made defenseless, assuming that no authoritative body will officially, publicly, come to my defense.

i also copied it here beneath.  it is close to the top and right here underneath this.


interesting article about great pyramid. cornerstone. chief cornerstone.
scroll down to part about alpha draconis.  thuban.  satan.  
this is very important.  i'm not crazy. 

https://www.blueletterbible.org/study/larkin/dt/32.cfm

alpha draconis.  constellation of draco.  draconian.  egyptian set (sat-an).  alpha draconis is called thuban (serpent) in arabic.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-mythology-behind-the-star-Thuban-Tell-me-everything-you-know

***

thuban, head of the serpent, or large snake.  alpha draconis, look to our northern hemisphere.

binary star system.

historically represented the north pole, from the 4th to the 2nd millennium BCE.

in arabic, it represents the dragon.

in egypt thuban was very significant in the original alignment of the pyramids and stars before the earth's tilt and magnetic realignment.  pharoah kufu believed he would join the sun and thuban in death.

in sumerian and mesopotamiam lore, it was called tiamat.  tiamat the sea serpent, that existed even before the sky and sea had divided from each other.   a dragon of chaos that had to be tamed before brining in a new order.

in greek mythology hercules, jason and cadmus are all tasked by gods, to kill a dragon for different reasons, eventually placing a dragon in the sky to represent a trophy of cadmus.

habab is where satan get's connected to draco threw pagan arabic, muslim cultures, the light barer, bringing of morning, the morning star.

jujitsu comes from thuban, and was given to his half son oda nobunaga, as a gift to help conquer and unite japan.

the archons are a war bread race, hive minded, cybernetic, genetically modified constructs, that have become self aware are an now have the ability to war with higher dimensional forces by causing havoc in the system like a virus.  the fallen.

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type in bold above.

this is what i have been communicating about.  i have read something else about a hive mind from another source.  something about orion dragon queen.  i am guessing thuban, as it relates to alignment of the great pyramid, one of the 3 pyramids corresponding to the constellation or orion.  i read the term messeh, from which comes our term messiah or mashiach.  something about crocodile/reptilian.  i am reasonably certain that i, or a positive force, is to keep this entity at bay, cycle after cycle.  they seem to be more of an annoyance, rather than a real threat.  maybe the annoyance is a real threat.  they try to use deception and psychological warfare as a method of dominating, or survival.  criminally insane.  very strong survival instinct, but "irrational" or confused thinking, like an animal which is trapped, attempting to break free.

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it is just like they teach in church, that satan tries to stop you from being more, or as much as you can be in life.  i want you to be as much as you can be.  good luck and God bless you.  love.  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archon_(Gnosticism)

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the black man who i have already communicated about wants to hurt women because he thinks that they like me more than him, for good reasons.  he is a weird, weak, wimpy, insecure, evil black man, with a weird social problem, which he created for himself.   this doesn't mean that i am a white supremacist or white nationalist.

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the few people who have acted up, and who are still acting up, being unnecessarily aggressive, have weird mental and social problems.  a few of the 144,000.  they are like childish vandals.  they want to vandalize my spirit, and people's spirits as well.  they want me and other people to know that it excites them to be able to harm people emotionally or spiritually.  they are just like childish vandals, who want to get so much attention for doing so little.

i wish that the NAACP would get involved, making an official public statement.

this is not condescending.

the one single black women who assaulted me at the grocery store in 2008 was a childish, evil, weird, angry vandal.  she has a mental problem.  i know what i am communicating about.  she wanted to vandalize my spirit, permanently.  she thought that she had an opportunity to get away with it.  it is a real shame, because so many innocent black women, or black people in general, have be negatively affected by her past and continued actions.  i am not happy about this.  she wanted me and others to know that she is a person who i am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000).

i am not a mean white supremacist or white nationalist white person.  i am not dishonest.  i am a person who cared, and who still cares about peace and happiness for everyone.  nothing will be lost.

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my intent was never to be divisive, or to create division, and honest people know this..  my intent to to create something unified.  i will try to stop utter childish obnoxious nonsense if i think that i have the ability to.  parents or school teachers will sometimes become angry or assertive in order to try to instill order, for everyone's benefit, and there is nothing wrong with it.  the problem is that i have no official, publicly sponsored authority vested in me.  not as a god, not as superior, but as an american citizen who should have basic rights and respect.  people can pretend like they don't understand what has really happened, or what is happening.  don't lie about my character because you think that you are unpopular, or because you are the one who did something childish, stupid and socially irresponsible.

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please don't use that MHMR (Mental Health Mental Retardation) comment written by the la grange, texas police, dated 4/22/2011 ('important 2' section of this website), against me.  you are ignorant.  i am not insulting you.  there can be a tendency to pigeon hole by people who don't know about this situation as well as others, or by people who don't have an informed, objective understanding of my mental health history.  i am not schizophrenic.  i moved from houston, texas to la grange, texas in 2009.  i lived there from 2009 to 2011.  a few of the police in la grange, texas, who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, tried to murder me a short time after the report, a portion of which is in the 'important 2' section of this website, created on april 22nd, 2011, was made.  the police wanted to use that paperwork, and other paperwork which they intended to create, as a way of substantiating or covering up a murder.  they intended to try to make it look like i was involved in drugs, or that mexicans involved in drugs committed the murder.  this was at a motel in schulenburg, texas, the corner of the north side of interstate 10 and west side of highway 77, at the end part of april 2011.  i stayed at the motel because i was afraid of my old mexican neighbor, confused, thinking that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone, when there was no need to be afraid of my neighbor.  i thought that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone from 2008 to 2012, communicating frequently, out loud, about every aspect of my life.  the few police officers who i was, and i think still am in constant 24/7 activity with knew that people who i actually am in constant 24/7 activity with wouldn't know if i was in constant 24/7 activity with my old mexican neighbor, or any person who he might have been associated with.  i wasn't involved in drugs or drug dealing, and when everyone knew that i wasn't.  i suspected my old mexican neighbor was involved in drug activity, and people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with knew this, but i honestly had, and still have no substantial proof that this was, or is true.  the mexican girl who can act aggressively toward the 144,000, described in the first part of this section of this website, knew and still knows that i was innocent of any wrong doing.  i think that money was the police officer's motive to murder me.  they were becoming more and more confused, unable to work at their jobs as time went on.  i have already corresponded with the fayette county sheriff about this.  i know much more about this situation that you think.  i don't believe that any of the few cops who were involved in that situation still work for the police force in la grange, texas.  not because they got in trouble for what they did, but because they probably had to quit their jobs back in 2011 for mental problem reasons.  they probably gave their boss some other explanation in order to try to cover their tracks.  i also believe that part of their motive was personal, because of their own personal, confused social problems which they created for themselves by having engaged in childish, unnecessary gossip about me.  i was not as mature, or hadn't made as much progress as i have now at that time.  the mexican girl who i am in constant 24/7 activity with knew and still knows that i was, and still am innocent of any wrong doing.  she stabbed me and anyone else who she knew would defend me in the back, trying to make it seems as if i was involved in something illegal, unethical, wanting to try to relate it to drugs, george h. w. bush and northern trust bank.  she tried to create a way for herself to wrongfully defame me, wanting to use the 144,000 as a type of media, stupidly trying to promote herself as messiah, and then have me murdered so that i wouldn't have an opportunity to defend myself, publicly.  i know what i am communicating about.  she didn't anticipate or know then that i would eventually defend myself on the internet.

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i know without a doubt that the mexican girl lied, and continues to lie to her parents about what she knew, and knows about la grange, texas.  she told her parents that she knew that i was innocent, starting in 2011, then changed her story to her parents after i got the police report from la grange in 2014, knowing even more that i was innocent.  i know what i am communicating about.  she thought that she could use the report as type of a alibi, like a dumb criminal, trying to confuse a crime scene, not wanting her parents to understand how unbelievably greedy, aggressive, rude and childish she is.  she thought that she could twist the truth, which she already understood before i got the report, against me and anyone else who she knew would defend me when she tried to have me murdered in 2015.  she thought that if she would make the 144,000 so sick with constant aggression, that someone would murder me in order to get rid of her.  she also wanted people to know that she took a sick pleasure in wanting to confuse my dog and family, while she tried to have me murdered.  she lies, stating to her parents that someone else is responsible for the aggression.  she doesn't give a damn about her parents or anyone else.  i wouldn't be surprised if she had created a facebook account with a fake profile, probably wearing sunglasses in her profile picture, maybe with a name which is similar in some way to 'aliyah girlie 30'.

this is definitely not meant as a insult or disparagement of blacks and mexicans in america.  i do not like the notion of white people, or whoever, insinuating unnecessary racial bias toward blacks and mexicans in america.

god bless you.

one more important issue about what happened in la grange, texas, is that i went back after i moved back to houston, texas, in 2011, to speak personally with my old mexican neighbor, several times, informing him that someone was trying to wrongfully defame me.  i also mailed him a copy of the police report which is in the 'important 2' section of this website, also having made a note with it, having read it aloud before i put in the mail.  mexicans don't want to harm me.  unfortunately, there are a few people who might try to make it look like something is more interesting or more important than it was, or is.

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i believe that i was initially charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest in 2002. the incident took place close to beaumont, texas.  that is jefferson county.  when i went to a bail bond place in downtown houston, not in trouble, about 8 years ago, to get a print out of my criminal history, i remember only seeing disorderly conduct.  i don't know if it is different on paper in two different counties, jefferson county (beaumont, texas) or harris county (houston, texas).  i never lie about anything, so it isn't important, or exciting, or interesting.  


________________________________________________________________

a few people who obviously lie about me and my past don't hate me because i am mean or dishonest.  they hate me because i am more popular than they are, or than they made themselves over the years.  a type of constant 24/7 public situation.  people should do good work to make themselves confident.  they shouldn't try to tear down people who are confident, in order to try to make themselves feel better about themselves.   

whether people want to think or read about it or not, there are some weird, evil, childish, very mean people in the world.  i am not one of them.  ignorant people don't know me or the situation that well.  i am not insulting you.

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9/23/24

i went to a bail bond place in houston, texas (harris county) tonight to get another print out of my criminal history.  i see that there is no disorderly conduct charge.  i don't understand this, because when i obtained my criminal history from different bail bond place in downtown houston (harris county) about 8 years ago, not in trouble, there was a charge for only disorderly conduct in 2002.  this is what i remember, and i told everyone who i am in constant 24/7 activity with about it, right after i got the report, sitting in my car, looking at the print out for 10 or 15 minutes.  i assumed that the disorderly conduct charge was because of what happened in jefferson county, close to beaumont, texas, in 2002.  this is why i didn't understand what the charge was.  either disorderly conduct, or resisting arrest, or both.  i learned from the bail bond person tonight that a harris county bail bond place would not have any record for anything which occurred in jefferson county. 

the reason that i went to get my criminal history from a bail bond place about 8 years ago, not tonight,  was because when i was in the back of a police car about 8 or 9 years ago, being taken to the michael debakey VA hospital for mental health reasons, from my current home, not for a crime, i looked at the computer in the police car from the back seat, seeing that it was definitely my name, seeing two charges which i had never been charged with.  one charge was 'assault with a deadly weapon', and the other was some charge for drugs which i had never been charged with.  i told people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with about this then, stating it out loud, because i was confused about it, feeling as if it was a problem.  a few months later, i thought that i should go get a print out of my criminal history to see what i could find out.

i am going to try to get a print out of my criminal history from jefferson county tomorrow.  i already called a bail bond place, and they told me to call back in the morning. 

i intend to scan my criminal history for both harris county, texas, and jefferson county, texas, and upload to my website, placed in the 'miscellaneous files' section. 

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i don't need doctors and medication, even though i will continue to take the medication for my ignorant parents.  i need a little respect and love; recognition.  why should i communicate to a mental health doctor, publicly, who has not been officially informed about my real situation, which the public is definitely aware of?

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9/24/24

i spoke with the jefferson county, texas courthouse clerk today.  she informed me that they will send me my criminal history in jefferson county.  i have to send a $10 check through the mail first.

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the issue with the la grange, texas police and/or texas fayette county sheriff's department does not reflect poorly upon the police, in general.  it reflects poorly upon some of the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with.  i know with certainty that black females who i am in constant 24/7 activity with communicate with other black females, including police officers, or former police officers.

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in reference to my 2002 arrest in jefferson county, texas, for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest, a "police call" in the military is where many soldiers gather together in formation to search for rubbish, or to keep the environment safe.  FOD (Foreign Object Debris) is probably policed off of aircraft carriers, or places where aircraft are kept, by military personnel every day, maybe more than one time a day.  not limited to military aircraft.  my first Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) was as a helicopter mechanic (67V), having initially enlisted in the army reserves.  i liked the structure of active duty military, so i decided to be retrained as a legal administrative specialist (71D), having worked for the JAG (Judge Advocate General).

the police exist for a good reason.  it would be chaos without them.  they also act as a deterrent for crime.  they have a difficult job.  unpredictable situations.  show them respect.  

as a former solider, i know that repetitious training is very important.  competency.  proficiency.  practice.  confidence.  it is difficult to be able to train for every situation.  

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9/25/24

thule.org is back online.  i am glad that he is publishing his own work, himself.  

https://thule.org/

i initially researched thule, or thule society, because of a basic desire to learn and help people, only if i could help people, everyone, in a positive manner.  i got a file from an old friend who was not advocating white supremacy, which had something about the thule society in it (World War 2).  i think that it is named 'the omega file' now.  i have already communicated about this.  i have not read all of it, and i really don't have an interest in reading all of it.  my old friend was searching for information about the ark of the covenant because of several unusual experiences which he had with the supernatural.  he informed me that he search for 'ark', and found a file supposedly written by a person named 'arkel', which led him to the file.  i have already communicated these things with people, more than once, starting in the year 2002, when i began to communicate out loud with people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with.  i was, and am still not advocating white supremacy.  i had unusual experiences with the supernatural, starting in the year 1997, including communication from the black man which started in 1998, who i communicate about in the 'important 1' section of this website.  i did not know was an ignorant black man, who didn't know what he was doing, and who still doesn't know what he is doing, with me thinking that he was some type of super government agent.  i had a good intent.  he knew that i had a good intent, but then he obviously changed his story later, after he thought that he got himself into social trouble by engaging in childish, unnecessary games.  he doesn't want people to think that he is, or was, incompetent.  he thought that he created a problem for himself, which really wasn't a problem, but because he is so childish and insecure, he cracked under pressure.  i've tried to be friendly with him.  he isn't friendly.  it took me about 3 or 4 years after the year 1997 to be able to think that maybe i was supposed to help, or that i could do some good in the world, after initial unusual isolation and confusion.  i didn't want to think that i was powerless, or that the community was powerless, or that i was condemned to a life of isolation and confusion, or that i couldn't do some good in the world, because of what i had, and still have in my heart.  god bless you.  

don't be fooled or discouraged by the propaganda of the 3rd reich.  this is not propaganda.  this isn't white supremacy.  this is a study group.  whites or blacks shouldn't think of it as unnecessary angry racial issue in america.  be openminded.

because of what happened to me, experiences with the supernatural, and various things which i read, and the way that it happened, i thought that it meant, or that i was being told that i was supposed to be involved in something, antarctica, in order to create something positive, for everyone.  this can be easily verified.  some people knew this, and then stabbed me in the back later, after they gave themselves a bad image.

i can't control everything.  i can try to promote something diverse and unified.  people knew what was in my heart years ago, when i would be alone, studying, talking out loud every week for years.  i'm talking out loud all of the time, always being as honest as i can be, because i have to be, also trying to figure things out.  i'd like to think that top and bottom can meet in the middle, and that there is definitely something more important than money.  good, long term management.  

my instinct on the day when i first went into the houston, texas, michael debakey VA hospital psychiatric department, in december of 1997, was to try to protect black people, having taken some actions, thinking that i was protecting them.  it was witnessed.  i was initially confused by an array of unusual experiences with the supernatural, and reading information from the internet, and thought that there was more of a problem than there was, or is.  i was young and inexperienced. 

i never had, and still don't have, an intent to oppress anyone.  if the guy who i used to communicate with at thule.org would have every communicated about hating certain groups of people, i wouldn't have communicated with him anymore.  i assumed that everything was better or more important than it was back then, because of my unusual experiences with the supernatural, most of which was communication from the ignorant black man, who i didn't know was an ignorant black man back then, who would eventually stab me and other people in the back.  i honestly didn't get the impression that the guy at thule.org hated all people of color, or jewish people.  in a way it doesn't matter if he really does, because i am the one who doesn't hate all people of color, or jewish people.  i was not that close to him, and i'm not sure that we would get along well if communicating face to face.  why would i have made any inference of hating anyone, when i knew that i was in constant 24/7 activity with different types of people, and when i already knew that they knew that i had love in me, because of what i honestly, openly communicate all of the time?  i shared what i was doing with people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, as if we were experiencing and learning together, thinking that we were on the same team.  why would i have thought that anyone who i am in constant 24/7 activity with would think that i am a racist, or that i have hate in me, when obviously i didn't, or don't, because of what i constantly communicate?  a few black women turned fake and mean, panicking, peer pressure, after the incident at the grocery store, paris hilton incident, in 2008, going back into my past, trying to rewrite history for their own childish, evil, selfish social reasons.  i don't want a problem for black girls.  they need good leadership.  they stupidly state that i am a money problem and a racist, with them lying about anything that they possibly could lie about, only because i called a creepy, evil, childish, sadistic black woman who stupidly attacked me in 2008, grocery store incident, a name.  i could have called her something which i think would have seemed worse.  i was trying to be funny about it.  i apologized to innocent black women about 2 days later.  i am sorry if it confused them.  another thing is that i have rights.  it doesn't matter if i research something, or communicate with someone, like anyone else could, because my intent was, and still is, in check.  i wouldn't be surprised if the u.s. government has already investigated me, or continues to investigate me.  that is absolutely fine with me.  that is what i would want, and also what i would want everyone to know about. 

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a few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000), who are childish, evil and unpopular, are desperately trying to get me to lose my cool on the internet, knowing that i have a good heart, and that i will try to protect people.

people who think that they can not do much or anything on their own, for whatever reason, weak minded, are trying to recruit people who they think are also weak, thinking and wanting others to think that they could do more as a giant, stupid, blind leading the blind group.  they wouldn't.  they don't even know what is happening, or what will be happening, or what the condition is, or what an objective would be.  the internet creates the illusion that people are grouped stronger than they are, or would be, without it.  it won't be around forever.  chill out, go home, and relax.  share with your neighbors.  do the best which you can.  it is all mixed together.
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don't assume that this is better than it really is, or will be.  i am able to keep it grounded when i am alive with a website, also because of good people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000).  i think that unless some official public respect is given to me, while i am alive, that it will not be good for the community after i die.  i predict that, after i die, that there will be a divergence of gossip, feelings, action, and continued actions in the community.  this will affect government in future generations.  i think that if there is an official general consensus, while i am alive, that i was, and should be respected, that there will be less confused gossip, and consequently more peace, or opportunity for peace.

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the very few people who got themselves into social trouble, who engaged in very stupid, very childish, disrespectful, dishonest things, think that they embarrass the entire community, or make the entire community look bad.  they thought that they would make me out to be a scapegoat, because they think that it is easier for the community to find fault with one person, me, rather than the entire community.  

_______________________

a very few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with are involved in a scheme.  they obstruct and irritate so much, knowing that most people are ignorant, in order to try to make it look like i am the problem, or that anyone who comes to my defense is a problem.  they think that they can't survive, or have happy social lives, if it is known that i am peaceful, happy and productive. 

there will be a story about how i was a decent person, and about how there was evil in the world.

__________________________

i sent information to president elect donald j. trump, president joe biden, galveston-houston archdiocese, houston channel 2 news (NBC), houston mayor, houston chief of police, texas state representative lizzie fletcher.

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*
it important for me to state that i was able to give people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000), who are situated in places all around the world, who speak different languages, an opportunity to locate my website on the internet.  i translated my full name, as my full name would enable someone to locate my website, into the numbers corresponding to each letter of my full name, as the place values of each letter in the Latin alphabet.  i explained many times by speaking out loud, and with body language, what i was doing, so i think that it worked.  i used google translate, with audio function when it was available, typing numbers spaced with commas, as the numbers corresponded to the place value of the letters of my full name, using the Latin alphabet.  for example, a = 1, b = 2.  when the google translate audio function was not available for some languages, i was able to give people the information myself, verbally, using information from omniglot as a reference, and method of performing the conversion into numbers myself.  in other words, when i speak out loud, it is sensed by others who i am in constant 24/7 activity with.  interesting work.  God bless you...


_________________________________


the black guy and the mexican girl seem to be trying to tell trump that he needs them, and that they need him.  they are like crazy homeless greedy weird bums. 

____________



part of their hustle is to try to make ignorant people think that i am faking being sick, or that they don't have to do anything, because they can just say that i was faking being sick.  i am not faking being sick.  they think like ugly criminals who are very weak, envious people, who want others to know that it makes them happy to vandalize people's lives.  ignorant people can't understand how sick i am being made, for a long time, and it is difficult or impossible to just sit here and take it.

they are trying to make it seem like anyone who defends me is fake, or that i am fake.  they don't even care if people know what they are doing, as long as they have an excuse to be lazy.  they are blatantly fake, making a game about it, wanting people to know what they are doing.  they are obstructing and irritating me and others so much, that it is difficult or impossible to be able to do anything else but try to defend myself.

____________

paris hilton wanted ugly, twisted, weird power over me, and everyone else.  she is actually a thug and criminal.

hilton's relationship with her husband and family is so childish and cheesy.  she wanted to give herself opportunity to talk about this, and talk about that, as if she was so honest, faking being righteous, when there was nothing to talk about with her sister or family or whoever, because she should have sent me my money back a long time ago.  she thinks that she is one of the evil people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, but is trying to cover it up, any way which she can.

_____________


these black girls, black guy, mexican girl and paris hilton wallow in their shit.  i understand if it seems like i do.  some of you people reading this are ignorant.  hilton didn't want to free me up, and allow me to move on, years ago.  she also wanted it to seem like she is so important, or special, when she isn't.  hilton was/is a horrible thing for america and the world, and we will probably experience more of her superficial nonsense in the media, which is sad and sickening, because she is not a star, or a model.

a few of the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who are criminals/thugs, who got caught doing something really really nasty, are holding everyone hostage because some people can have a bright future, and because they can't.  they are incredibly sour, irresponsible and selfish.  it is really horrible to have to be stuck with them.  paris hilton is one of them.  she is good at faking being cool or glamorous.  she is actually like a little irresponsible child who plays games.


________________

this mexican girl wants all people to think that all mexicans are disrespectful and obnoxious like her.  all mexicans are not like her.

______________________________________________________________

i don't care if it makes me look crazy.  at least i tried to protect people.  i have witnesses about my competence.   

_______________________________

it is like i am being raped.  it would be more confusing for me if i didn't fight back, since i lack privacy in the way which i do.  less sense of dignity.  the people who are violating me understand this, and are making a sick childish game of it.  they are childish and perverted.  they violating other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, trying to get us to complain, trying to make it seem like we are the problem, or that we are fake.  they are fake.

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i can't wait until i die, so that i don't have to think about paris hilton, her family, or her friends anymore. 

i didn't realize how important it was to try to organize a law suit against her, back in 2009.  i am not an angry person by nature.  i didn't realize how evil and childish, conniving she is.  i had no idea what i was getting myself into.  i wish that i could get the $150 back, but i also wish that i could sue her for her something else, for the last 17 years.  it doesn't mean that i am greedy.  it doesn't mean that i am going to try to sue her.  she is vicious, weird, childish and cruel, and after some time, she wanted black girls to follow her lead.  she wanted to make me look powerless and unattractive, especially if or when she thought that she couldn't use me for positive publicity.  i didn't write to her initially because she is a star.  i wrote to her because of her criminality.

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mexican people don't have to feel ashamed of anything, because of this mexican girl.  she doesn't represent all mexican people.  she tried to make it seem like she did, wanting mexicans to act like they are superior, with an obnoxious attitude.  i am a sweet white man, who was nice to this mexican girl.  she betrayed me, the community, and herself.  she has a social problem, and wants special treatment.  very very greedy.  she identifies with mexicans who think like criminals, or who are into drugs.


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ignorant people don't understand.  i am not the one who has been going on and on.  these people who are being unnecessarily aggressive want the community to know that they conspire.  they conspire, but they are stupid, and their plan won't work.  they don't have a plan.
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these few black girls, nationwide, who are acting stupid, want people to think of an ugly black female stereotype in america, like a drive by shooting in the ghetto.  most people don't live in the ghetto, and not all people who live in the ghetto are bad.

the black guy who i have communicated about in the beginning of this section of this website wants to be thought of as a weird childish creepy bitch ass.  he works with these nasty black girls every day.
_________________
 
i really wouldn't want to sit in church with paris whitney hilton, or her family.  this stupid chaos was/is a reflection of her, her greed, her childishness, not me.  she is weird, childish, irresponsible, disrespectful, stupidly bossy and stupidly boastful.  stupid bossiness, because she isn't a good boss.  her personality and wealth was/is a bad combination, especially when she was given real public responsibility.  she seemed to want to make it seem like she was so important, or that it is such an honor to be around her, when it isn't an honor all.  she has done so much harm to me and the world, and she is playing games with the authorities.  some boring rich girl who wanted to tell the world that it doesn't matter if she is stupid as fuck, because she can do anything which she wants to.  creepy family.  really.

some black people are the ones who didn't want to be friends.  don't be surprised when i get the promotion, and you don't.


i am going to be confident and productive, anyway.  sorry, you won't be able to take it away.  i've done too much work.

___________________

the mexican girl pretends as if she thinks that mexicans like her, for being obnoxious.  she thought that she would have a better chance of being with a mexican man, if he knew that she was obnoxious, and that she acted like she hated white people, or white men.

the black man and mexican girl try to take advantage of ignorant people's ignorance.  they try to use their ugliness as an alibi, because what they do is so unbelievably ugly, and also because they are thinking that ignorant people wouldn't believe that Satan is in human form. 


this black man and mexican are childish, ignorant, and unsophisticated.  they are vicious perverts, and governments should know that it is absolutely disgusting.  even evil people would agree with me.  it has a mental problem, like a crazy weird homeless person.  dangerous, like a wild animal.  it lacks confidence, is nervous, but tries to play it off like it is cool and superior.  thinks it can't survive.  doesn't know how to survive.  it is trying to have me defamed and killed in this life, or in future lives.  it is basically telling the public that it can make people so sick so that people can kill me, so that they won't have to sense it.  it is a greedy evil animal.  it thinks that it can't have sex, or have social fun, in general, if i am alive and popular. 

they like to give people the creeps, like a weird flasher, flashing people nudity in a park, or a rapist biting someone, or staging a dead body in a weird way, or a childish cruel vandal. 

the black man and the mexican girl are weird insane creatures, with a weird psychological need to be loved, or worshipped, like a animal.  weird selfish creature.  it can't think outside of the box.  satan.  it is disgusting, like in sci fi movies weird or disgusting.  that is why it doesn't want me to be loved.  it doesn't care if people know that it is evil. 

____________

satan is in human form.  a black man.  a mexican girl.  this doesn't mean that all blacks and mexicans are satan,or evil.  many white people, or asian people, or indian people are evil.

__________

this is like watching a tv program about weird perverted criminals.  psychopaths, who want attention.  like 'forensic files' or something.  i don't mean me.  they know that i am a good person, and that i will try to defend myself, and the community, and try to make me look stupid or weird, or weak that way.


don't take out your insecure rage on me and everyone else, negro, because of the past slavery issue in america, or because you feel humiliated by something.  i didn't sell you into slavery, like black people in africa did, the people who really didn't give a fuck about you.  i wasn't a slave owner, and i also tried to help you, more than once.  black people try to humiliate me, because of an inferiority complex.  i did nothing to them, just defense because they act childish and aggressively.  they imply that a double standard exists, and that white people are supposed to do something for them, even if they are rude or uncivil.  i don't have to do a damn thing for you, negro, because i already did.  the mexican girl implies that a double standard exists.  black people imply that a double standard exists.  paris hilton implies that a double standard exists.  they get caught being stupid, and they don't like it, like God played a trick on them.  i am not the one who keeps going on and on every day.  they are. 

they like to invade people's space, and give them the creeps.  stalkers.  predators.  but they are stupid, and not sophisticated.  like biff, in "back to the future".  or the bug, in "men in black".  funny if it is movie.  not funny if the movie doesn't conclude.  
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really disturbing.  creepy child like, perverted, evil, sadistic beings (people).  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgwXF60RTik

________________________________

only way which i have a sense of dignity.

blacks don't have immunity from being called names, or being disliked, or criticized, because of the past slavery issue, or because of world war 2.  supreme court of the united states should take up the issue of whether or not blacks can be called niggers.  i can use the term nigger in a loving way, too.  it is a confused subject.  because i can associate the term nigger with something which is despised, and given the circumstances, i think about it, or use it.  i don't really have a choice, given how blatantly disrespectful and childish some black people are toward me.  only way which i can have a sense of dignity.  i would rather give a friendly silly black guy or friendly silly black girl a hug, and joke with them, calling them my hazelnut darling.  

one of the most important facts which people can understand or take away from from this situation, is that satan is in human form.  2 people on earth, male and female, with a left eye issue.  

______________________

how many times have i asked the police for help?  wow.  do you think that maybe if the police helped me, that i would stop trying to defend myself and the community on the internet?

_____________

sorry if blacks are confused by my thought or feeling that i can use 'nigger' in negative or positive way.  it is a confused subject.  all of this is unnecessary.  i am confused.  blacks have confused me, really, since 2008, and i am sick of it, and everyone else is sick of it, too.  they try to make themselves seem powerful, or more powerful than they are, by unnecessarily associating themselves with me.

i wish that i had video and audio of the 1 and 1/2 to 2 and 1/2 minutes of the black woman who was at the grocery store in 2008, standing right in front of me, desperately stupidly trying to make me angry and unpopular, including what she stated as i took the change out of the change jar, as i had taken change out of the change jar the night before, being understandably confused.  i have already explained some of this at the top of this section of this website.  people don't understand it in context.  i had been through some really rough times for 10 years, from 1997 to 2007, and then there was a very dramatic shift in my spirit, really in 2008, when my act got cleaned up.  that weird creepy disrespectful black bitch didn't want me to continue to move on, because she thought that i could do much greater things than she ever could.  other people and myself are still negatively affected by what this black women did, with her intent to harm everyone spiritually/emotionally.  it was completely natural for me to react to her in the way which i did, and it did more good than harm.  she is sadistic.  she wanted me to know that she is a person who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who likes to make me i feel bad and confused, constantly, publicly, who doesn't want me to be loved or peaceful, constantly, wanting me to know that it gives her sick childish pleasure.  it is weird sadism.  i get this from a few other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, too.  they want people to know that i am innocent, and that they like to harm me, emotionally.  it means that they are childishly obsessed or fascinated with my innocence, by them stupidly childishly accusing me of whatever they can try to accuse me of.  it means that they think that God prefers me to them, and are sour about it.  i am not stuck up.  again, these are crazy people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with.  other people with more normal lives, confidence, jobs, happy relationships, etc. don't care so much, or it isn't so important to them.

____________________

people have the right to call people names.  people call people names for different reasons.  i am almost completely positive that everyone will do it, sometime in their life.  it is not about me wanting to tell people that they should call people names, or to bring up a undesirable subject to discuss, but the fact that i am allowed to react to an assault, as other humans would also react to perverted, incredibly mean aggression.  that black woman wanted to humiliate me for no good reason at all, so i humiliated her.  she could dish it out, but she couldn't take it.  

______________

5/11/25
I have thought for about 2 weeks that i earned respect from black people, for sticking up for myself.  i already gave black people love, and i love them in general.

___________________________



sorry to mexican people about confusion.  the problem is this mexican girl, lacking confidence.  she thinks that she wouldn't make a mexican man confident, so she is basically telling them now, because of the gossip, that she will lie to them, about me, or her, or whatever, to make them "feel better".  she is going to try to get money from mexican man, later.  she is totally evil uncaring.  like a black widow spider spider, or something.  i am tired of having to unnecessarily think of mexicans and blacks.  i don't mean any offense.  she is telling mexicans guys to be rude, and to stupidly fake being macho.  that is what she does.  it doesn't mean that is what all other mexicans do.

5/11/25
i wouldn't be surprised if some black girls attack me, or my family, like they have already stupidly done, more than once, with them trying to make it look like i started it.  i didn't start it.  they have an attitude problem, and gossip way too damn much.  childish and insecure. they try to make it all about black insecurity, implying that they should always get special treatment.  we are all tired of it.

i am more sick than angry.  these few people think that it is fun to make me sick, publicly, for their own childish sick amusement.  i am fighting for people's rights, to some extent.

black people don't have some special privilege in america, that no one can call them a name if they have done something which really is wrong, or that they are immune from a type of prosecution, which all races are challenged with.

i am not a white nationalist, or white supremacist, and would never join any of those groups.  don't stupidly persecute me either, because i have a german last name.


psychology
https://search.yahoo.com/search?fr2=p%3ads%2cv%3aomn%2cm%3asa%2cbrws%3achrome%2cpos%3a2&fr=mcafee&type=E210US1485G0&p=psychology+name+calling+in+defense+mechanisms&guccounter=1
___________


____________
5/17/25
i want people to know that what the black guy and some black females have done since 2008 is seriously wrong.  actually, his crap goes back farther than that, all the way back to 1998.  they are evil and violent.  what they do is indicative of violent, brutal, childish mentalities.  they are also wanting to try to psychologically intimidate people, police or government, like child adolescents, implying that they are going to have control of government, space ships (negative aliens), or whatever their stupid childish survival thing is about, since they can't make it in the real world.  it is what happens when the cops don't or won't get involved.  the mexican girl is violent, too.  paris hilton, too.  yes, paris hilton, too.  weird unnecessary aggression, which wasn't or isn't friendly at all.  childish and abusive.  even words of kindness wouldn't make it friendly.  it would still be confused and unnecessary.  weird aggression, and no words of kindness.  it seems like the few girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity with seem to want to imply that they have a special privilege, greedy, childish, stuck up, i think a lot because i was trying to write something as a screen play years ago.  not anymore.  like they want to believe that my initiative and work gives, or gave them power.  black girls infected my blood when i was at a care facility, wanting people to know what they did, requiring me to have 3 major surgeries.  there is a 50% chance that i will develop a hernia on my abdomen area, where i have a giant scar.  they have stolen my mail, more than once, wanting attention.  i think that they stole paris hilton's mail.  they have stolen my niece's mail, stalking my family, probably because i have a better family situation that these stupid black girls.  they stalk me around my home and my girlfriend's home, leaving stupid candy wrappers or whatever around the front of the home, knowing that i walk the dogs all of the time.  they do it so that they can get away with it, but they want people to know what they are doing.  really childish and irritating.  the black girls who work at the Veteran's hospital in houston didn't mail me my advance directive (living will) as they were supposed to.  my social worker told me twice that she told them to mail it, and i never got it.  what kind of stupid weird mean game are they playing, toying with my life?  that is how all of this stupid shit started.  there is evidence that they were on my parent's property, too.  maybe poisoned my mom's cat and girlfriend's mom's dog.  that is what they are like.  they are childish and sick, weird.  it is all so sad, because these very few girls and black guy wanted to scare people off.  they wanted me all to themselves.  really selfish and creepy.  i am not wanting special treatment.  i mean that they didn't give me a very basic amount of respect, publicly.  they want people to know that they are disrespecting me, trying to recruit people.  they wanted to humiliate a special guy who had more power than they did, not wanting men, or hard working people in general, to have power.  it seems like i am weak when i write this, but the truth is that they couldn't keep up with my hard work, or with honest people.  really childish and disrespectful toward me, but also men, in general.  doesn't seem like they wanted other girls to like me, like they wanted to think of themselves as really special, in a way which they are not, toying with me disrespectfully, publicly, so that i wouldn't have power, or be liked, or so that men wouldn't have power.  something which they wanted to unnecessarily suppress. weak females.

a few of these people get sick perverted childish thrill from making a special person nervous in public. .  it is why television studios have security.  people would do weird very mean things to people on air, if they could, weird emotional harm.  my situation means that i never get off of the air.  it is impossible or very difficult, unless you are being respected.  they don't just want to harm me.  they want to harm people, in general, like crazy deranged childish people who fire weapons into crowds, AT PLACES WHERE PEOPLE WOULD BE HAVING A GOOD TIME, OR AT PLACES WHERE PEOPLE ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME.  i have already thought about suicide more than once, but now that i have my girlfriend and work, my life is better, even though still unusually challenging.   it doesn't mean that i am a weak person.  it is the opposite.  they like to see me negotiate work, because they have witnessed me negotiate a lot of it, no choice.  they know that i have worked for my confidence, and are bitter about it, because all they did is sit around stupidly jabbering their mouths, being fake and lazy.  they thought that they would have more friends if they were rude to me, stupid peer pressure, or they thought that they would have more friends if it was a negative story.  they think that they can't survive, if if is a positive story about me, incarnation after incarnation.  it won't be a negative story, because i am not a negative person. 

__________________

with all due respect to blacks and mexicans, it isn't always a white person's responsibility to make things right in america, just because white people have had more money, or just because they have been involved in american politics more .  sometimes, you shouldn't think like you are minorities.  i am white, and i do have power, but i am not evil, and this has been established a very long time ago.  i have been, and still am hated because i am white, and not because i am evil.  it is blatant.  it isn't always the white person who is doing the hating.  not all white people are a money problem, or mean, or evil, just because white people have had more money than blacks and mexicans in america.  my parents had to work for their money.  they were not rich.  i have to work for my money.  i have humble roots.

leave me alone and i will think about deleting this shit.

the very few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who intentionally caused problems, didn't want to give a nerd or geek like me power.  why is it so important?  many people who work, or who like to work, girls and boys, are nerdy or geeky.  the problem was people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't do much, or who don't care about it being a positive movement.  paris hilton, too.  she didn't want to have to do much, but she wanted a bunch of weird, sick attention.  i know that i communicate about her a lot, but it is because she is stalking me and everyone.   really creepy mentality.  how she would claim to be one thing which she isn't at all.  obviously.  believe it or not, she is attempting to bully or boss everyone around with childish greed, and stupidity.  her publicity nonsense is evil.  she is caught up in an evil machine.  superficial.  i don't think that she likes herself too much. 

it seems as if a very few people, who don't feel powerful, had a problem with the power that i have.  hilton is one of them.  i am a giving person by nature.  she isn't.  she is a ruthless, using, childish flake, not caring about anyone but herself.  sorry paris, i am not one of your brainwashed stupid ass kissing employees.  i don't work for hilton hotels, or for your father, either.

hilton would want ignorant people to think that she did so much for me, or that she gave me so much special attention, because of those stupid stamps, no return address, no post mark.  what it means that is that she didn't even want to give me a very basic amount of respect, publicly, while wanting to make big stupid cheesy deal of herself.  she sent me these 2 creepy photos of her, at 2 different times.  i sent them back. 

__________
5/19/25

my being candid about my thoughts, or other people's unwanted aggression, has helped stop the aggression.  it has been better, much more peaceful, for about 10 days.  seriously, i think that it helps black people.  they don't have to think of themselves as different.  i hope that it helps them.  i just want to move on. 
   
____________________

some people like to try to create an impression that i am the one starting some shit on the internet.  no.  i didn't start it, or don't engage in stupid shit.  i am trying to stop the stupid shit, and it has worked for years.

______________________________

the black man, mexican girl, a few black girls nationwide, and paris hilton, are like greedy children trying to bully the government, or adults who are serious about work (me included).  especially the black man and mexican girl.  they are wanting to blow stupid smoke up people's asses, ignorant, obviously not knowing that they are doing.  they are trying to trick the government into thinking that a negative evil force is dominant, so that i won't be respected, or loved, so that my chance of survival, or so that other people's chance of survival, is less.  it is interesting how crazy some childish people become, if they think that someone else is more loved than they are.  they are hoping that i will be killed early in my next life, so that they can hide.  they are childish and criminally insane.  like trouble adolescents on the tv show "the first 48", trying to get out of trouble, shady, thug, evil, smug, but they get in trouble, anyway.  they have a type of weapon, their ability to act aggressively, intentionally causing contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with can sense, and they are trying to make a deal with any government who they hope will act as an oppressor toward me, and any one who acts like they care about me.  they are panicking, desperate to survive, not sophisticated.  like crazy weird homeless bums. 

it doesn't mean that black women who are not so physically attractive are the problem.  the problem is greedy, very mean, very childish black girls, no matter what.

just because blacks and a mexican can assault a defenseless white person, doesn't mean that they are more powerful than they are, or that people of other races have to be afraid of blacks and mexicans.  it is ridiculous, because these blacks and one mexican imply that people are supposed to be afraid of them, perverted cowards, who like to to harm defenseless people.  they engage in childish stupid make believe, they are not sophisticated, like it is make believe that they are powerful, or that people should be afraid of them.  like kids at a halloween, or something, but they are evil and sadistic.  they like to try to recruit racist, obnoxious blacks and mexicans.  i was so kind to both of them, and then i was mocked, like it is a sick evil game.  they think that they don't possess intelligence, so they think that intelligent blacks and mexicans are their enemy, too.  why can't we just be left alone?!  they are so worried that i white person will look intelligent or attractive, and that blacks and mexicans won't.

_____________

5/19/25
it doesn't surprise me.  they started to panic after i stated that things had been more calm for about 10 days.  they are cheesy evil people who want people to know that they are cheesy and evil, trying to hustle their way out of trouble.  they imply that they have all of these alibis, when actually they don't have anything to say at all.  they were hoping that other people would communicate about how it had been more peaceful, not wanting me to communicate about how it had been more peaceful.  they think that they can throw people off that way.  then another reason why they do it is to try to discredit me, implying that i am crazy, or that i don't know what i am communicating about.  they are trying to hide, but also get something done for themselves.  they are not going to get a fucking thing done for themselves, because they sit around doing nothing, fantasizing about being able to have fun, like drug addicts, or homeless crazy bums.

why doesn't someone make an official statement about me?  it could be informative, and neutral at the same time.  not stating anything is the problem, and criminals will try to take advantage of it.  they assume that i won't be officially respected, or acknowledged.  the problem is that they can pretend as if they don't know about me, or other things, too.

these very few people who blatantly stalk me, like me.  it doesn't mean that they don't like me.  it is like the girls are throwing their underwear at me, wanting my attention, publicly, but then they make up all of these incredibly stupid, incredibly childish, blatant lies, implying that the don't like me, or that no one should like me.  they are fascinated with me, and try to use me as a way of making it seem like they are something more than they are, so they want an excuse to make it seem like i should be paying attention to them.  it is very creepy.  famous people are stalked all of the time, so why do you need me to tell you that we need an official public statement, showing me some respect, so that people will back off?  these people assume that i will never be respected or recognized, so that they think that they can get away with stalking everyone, unofficially.  if is was official, they wouldn't do it.  

they are weak evil girls who imply that weak evil girls have more power than honest hard working men, or that girls have more power than men, in general.  i just want peace and quiet. 

why doesn't paris hilton just send me $150, and then get the fuck out of everyone's life?  what she did initially was unnecessary, and then she doesn't resolve it.

_____________________________________________________________

sent to whitehouse.gov on 5/20/25.

5/20/25

President Trump.  Good day.  

I wish that you would make an official public statement, showing me some recognition and respect, so that some people don't think that they can get away with stupidly terrorizing me and the community.  I think that you know about who I am.  It can be verified, and proven with a test, if need be.  My website is JoshuaEvanMishler-Pinnacle1.com.  You can do two things at once.  One is to be respectfully informative about Christ's current presence.  Two is to also make it clear that it is not that my current presence is not important, and that people have religious freedom.  People should be open minded, and understand that the phenomenon is cyclical.  It will repeat, and there should be an attempt to create order.   A very few people are involved in a form of terrorism, unnecessary, evil, creepy aggression, intended to harm others, and it has already damaged the community.  They engage in terrorism, because they assume that no one in authority will ever try to officially do anything about it, or to try to stop it.  It is not just about showing me and the 144,000 respect.  It should be about everyone being engaged in respectful behavior.  Something unpredictable could occur within government, too.  

Please try.  God bless you.
Joshua Evan Mishler
___________________________________________

sent above message to houston police chief on 5/20/25.

____________________

it is like i am being robbed, or jacked.  violated.  in real time, constantly.  the same thing is going to happen to other people.  why not put out a statement, trying to unify the community?  where are the police/government?

the black guy and mexican girl think that they don't fit it with blacks and mexicans, so they don't want me to fit in with blacks and mexicans.  they think that i fit in with blacks and mexicans more than they do, and they are confused and angry about it.  they think that they can't survive, so they don't want me to be able to survive.  it is very easy to understand. 

i would get along with blacks and mexicans who have class, and who are kind, loving people.  the problem is not just race.  the problem is race and class (behavior), together.  there are white people who i wouldn't get along with.  it is not just that they are black or mexican.  it is that they are scum bag unfriendly blacks and a scum bag unfriendly mexican.  they are the racists.  they are trying to trick ignorant blacks and mexicans into thinking that i am the racist.  i don't have a problem with loving honest people, in general. 


these blacks who act up stupidly, rudely, dishonestly, don't represent all blacks, like they want people to think that they do.  this one mexican girl who acts up stupidly, rudely, dishonest, doesn't represent all mexicans, like she wants people to think that she does.  they don't fit it with blacks and mexicans, and are panicking because of it.  they are afraid that blacks and mexicans will kill them, in this life, or future lives, even though they are black and mexican, so they are desperately trying to make me unpopular, so that someone will kill me in this life, or my future life.  they are so stupid, because in my next life they will be ignorant, and probably want me to be around, curious, wanting find out what i do, because they obviously have a perverted childish fascination with me.  they think of me as an idol, and they also have a personal social problem.

________________________________________

it is like hilton makes a creepy childish game of shoving her irresponsibility and bossiness in people's faces, using it as a family marketing scheme for hilton hotels, or for herself.  "oh!  i guess i can be dumb, since i have money, which means that you gave us money, which must mean that hilton is good."  i think that it is semi corrupt.  she seems to have some type of serious mental problem, which definitely doesn't excuse her from what she has done.  her personality or genes, combined with her wealth (media) was a problem.  it is very serious, and she seems to want to make a joke of it.  you aren't funny or attractive, paris, and i am not your pet.  she was a significant marker for future events, or for a future mood on the planet.  i'm a little worried.  maybe worried a lot.  she has created a great deal of, it seems childish and intentional, verbal pain and confusion for me, stupidly unnecessarily seeming to want to make something personal, which has been sensed since 2008, by innocent people all over the world.  she knows this, and wants people to know that she knows, with her also wanting people to know that she didn't care.  i am innocent. 

i am not a jerk.  the 'important 1' section of my website makes me seem like a weird uptight jerk.  i am more like a mother bird, who is watching over her young birds, in a nest.  don't underestimate how evil and mean these people are.  they are creepy vicious predators, blatant about it.  paris hilton is one of them.  i am sick of communicating about her (she wants to try to make me seem like a dork), but i want people to know.  if criminologists or behavior analysts would really understand what she did, how much of it she did, or continues to do, and the time line, you would also know that she is criminal, creepy possessive, childish and cruel.  seriously, and because this is the unique situation which it is, i think that i make her feel insignificant, because of her own thought of her own boring money media crap.  she seems angry about it, with her seeming to want to harm others, emotionally.  seriously.  i have more social experience than people would expect.  all i wanted to do was to buy a christmas gift for someone.  she assumed that she could get away with it, prior to me being online.  she wanted to get away with harming, or confusing people, emotionally, definitely being on some sick, weird, spoiled rich kid power trip.  she thinks that ignorant people are gullible, or fair game for an evil publicity scheme, including people who work for hilton hotels.  it is amazing how little she thinks of herself, wanting to make everyone else seem smaller than her.  not all of the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with are good, or noble.  she definitely wanted people to know that she is a person who i am in constant 24/7 with, forcing people to stupidly gossip, and i would like to know what her fucking point is. 

____________________

i am not being allowed to rest for long periods of time.  it is extremely cruel.  torture methodology.  i am a cheerful person by nature.


because of the way which i lack privacy, i would suffer more if i didn't communicate about the real problem which exists.  the few people stalking us understand this, and want to use it as a way of manipulating ignorant people into being in agreement that they don't like me, or that the public shouldn't like me.  they don't fit in, so they don't want me or other good people to fit in.  it is sort of like i am stranded, and sending out an SOS.  it would be too confusing, painful and humiliating, or more confusing, painful and humiliating, if i didn't.  my feelings are affected, because i know that i lack privacy, and that there is gossip out there.  it is a very difficult thing to do, when you are being blatantly disrespected, or not loved.  the sick thing is that the people who are harming me think of it as a form of love, or weird affection, like pulling an animal's tail, and intentionally confusing it.  they are childish mean people like to harm a special person emotionally, in public.  

_______________________________


5/22/25

it is sad to learn about the young jewish couple who were murdered in washington d.c.  it all goes back to christ, and a problem in the distant past, because everyone didn't have the same information, one official statement, all at once.  ignorance eventually caused social confusion, peer pressure and division.  they don't even know why they are fighting anymore.  we have an opportunity to do something different now, because of study (bible/official documentation), communication technology, and civil services.  

_________________________________


normally, 24 hours is a good reset point.  i am not being allowed to reset, no 24 hour reset point, not at all, and this has been going on for years.  it is extremely sad and cruel, WEIRD AND CHILDISH.  it is not my mind which is the problem.  some people have a motive to oppress me.  i do have faults, but the problem is a few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who have personal or social problems.  they think that they have survival problems, so basically they are trying to have me killed, just like an animal would fight for territory.  it is fighting for long term territory, but it is a very dumb, insecure, lazy creature, which won't do good long term work; not surviving.  they act like problem adolescents, not sophisticated civil "christians".

some people don't care if they make themselves look bad.  they just don't want me, or other people, to stand out as something more special than them.  i think that they think that i have talent, in a way which they don't have, and they want to suppress it, for political/social reasons.

______________________________

is it like the unnecessary action hero tv commercials?  it would be funny if there wasn't such a big problem every day.

__________________

paris hilton tried to trick people into thinking that she is a special exciting interesting 144,000 God person, or something, with money, when actually she was trying to cover up the fact that she is worthless, or that she thinks that she is worthless.  low life trying to deceive people about what she really is, or about what she really thinks about herself.  scheme.  it is a major scam.  very greedy and child like.  like she fantasizes about being something which she isn't, or like she fanaticizes about people thinking that she is something which she isn't.  that is what her entire life is about.  she isn't a star.

she wants ignorant people to think that i wanted to be with her, or that i keep wanting to be with her.  no.  she wanted to be with me in public, unnecessarily, with her being childish and disrespectful, cruel.  also, it seems like her disparagement of me was intentional, if i didn't play her publicity game.  i'm not playing her publicity game.  she didn't treat me with a very basic amount of respect which any other people would have been given.

___________________

i wouldn't be surprised if the black woman who assaulted me at the grocery store in 2008, and who i reasonably believe continues to assault me, is eventually caught.

______________________________

please back off of me and everyone else.  make your life better.  make everyone's life better.  move on.
it should be a happy time, celebrated. 

_________________
6/16/25
i think that i am going to delete most of this section of this website soon.  in a way i don't care if people hate me.  i would rather be hated, than to try to be liked while i am being blatantly, knowingly stalked and assaulted.  i am never at peace.  no one could develop in these circumstances.  the police don't protect me.  the police don't protect anyone.  people have intentionally made me sick.  i am being made sick every day.  it is like i have been kidnapped.  it is not my mental problem.  it is not psychiatric medication.  it is a childish game to these people.  they are crazy evil thugs, trying to bully the community, and government, if they think that they can bully the government. it is like barbarians sacking rome.  they are the ones who don't want to love people.  they childishly mock me in a perverted way because i did want to love people.  psychopaths.  they are losers who brag about how they don't want to have to try.  when you put a white christ in the mix, different races react, some panicking, and they want to do their own thing, thinking of own race, or mocking me because i had love in me, wanting to make members of there own race not like me.  it doesn't matter that i had love in me.  the mexican girl tries to get mexicans to hate whites because christ is white.  black girls try to get black people to hate whites because christ is white.  weird hate.  they don't hate me because i am mean or evil.  i am not mean or evil.  they are childish, full of hate envy or jealousy.  they are angry because i am, or can be more confident than they can be.  insecure people panicked, thinking that they didn't or wouldn't have something, after i was put into the mix, with them trying to get low class insecure people to join together, stupidly, with them wanting to feel more powerful.  you don't necessarily make people christ like.  it could be that they either are, or they are not.  as stated, i am being made sick every day, forced to think of the same unimportant shit every day, because these people are fake, lying about me and money.  some minority people stupidly try to portray me as a mean evil white person, just because i have unique power.  it means that they hate white people, even nice white people, and that they are letting people know that.  too bad someone couldn't have just shown me a little love, or care, in public.  they like this shit.  they think that it makes me come across as a stuck up white person.  i am not a stuck up white person, but i am entitled to have some pride.  i am very flexible, and i have humble roots.  they are ones who are not flexible or humble.  it is like minorities who are insecure about chirst being white are vandalizing my soul every day.  they are insecure.  they are insecure because no one leads.  why doesn't someone lead?  it is all done hush hush on  the internet, which is stupid.  this is a very serious social issue for the world, and i doubt that anyone would be stupidly harassing me, like what is happening every day, if the police came to my home, talked with me, telling me that it is ok for me to let people know that the police came to my home.  the police or government can do two things at once if you publicly communicate to me.  important, but also not important.  you don't talk to me like you are the leaders.  there is only so much which i can do.  i am not well.  i have not been well for years.  the monster, i will call it a monster, evil people, want me and others to know that they enjoy harming me emotionally, in public, implying that they want to make sick childish fun of a defenseless person.  they are perverted.  they are intentionally making me sick every day.  i sort of feel like i am ticking time bomb.  i am not very stable.  you don't make me comfortable.  no one makes me comfortable, in public.  we are all defenseless unless someone leads.  why is it that you have nothing to say?  whether people want to talk about it or not, black people and a mexican have been ugly evil racists.  it is because of their problem, specific to them,,AND NOT TO ALL BLACKS AND MEXICANS. 

by the way ladies, if you would be sick of girls like i am (mexican girl, paris hilton, black girls), with me intentionally being made sick every day for years, forced to think of the past when it is unimportant, you would let people know, too.  not all girls are noble.  some are evil and childish.  some of them wanted to use me to get social power, while treating me in a very weird, very childish, abusive manner, publicly.  they have mental problems.  i don't want to go around calling girls bimbos, but some of them are bimbos.  i am not telling you that you can't call guys jerks, if you want to.  there isn't a double standard. 

let me state again that ignorant people don't understand the nature of the aggression toward me (and you).  it is intended to make me sick and unpopular.  it is very sad.  it is like i have been kidnapped.  sort of like i am being held for ransom, or something of value.  even if i communicate nothing on the internet, there will be a world wide story about how i was stalked and harassed by evil childish very mean people.  it is sort of bad until i die.  i am worried that someone is going to desecrate my grave site, or my parent's grave site.

what happened, mostly, is that a few mean evil childish gold digger girls made fun of me, or wanted to humiliate me, or men.  they didn't want to do real work which requires sacrifice, or being humble.  the black guy wouldn't be doing what he is doing if the girls hadn't ganged up on me and everyone else.  they send each other signals that they work together.  they are blatantly childish and creepy together, in public. again, ignorant people don't understand the nature of the aggression.  it is meant to be thought of as disturbing, and it really is.

you want me to lead, but you wouldn't even say "hi" to me, or try to make me feel comfortable, publicly, or you wouldn't even publicly acknowledge anything about what i have already done.  you can't have it both ways, and you will figure that out in a few hundred years.

some blacks, and a mexican, and paris hilton had to be obnoxious, and stupidly get in my face, and get in everyone else's face, because actually they are childish and insecure. 

the black guy and mexican girl keep trying to cover up their stupid northern trust bank crap.  they want to distract people with a bunch of nonsense, making us sick, in order to try and cover up the fact that they are childish, and that they don't know what they are doing.  they are not sophisticated aliens or something.  they are like crazy homeless bums, searching for a fix.  sort of like people who would break into a home, just to try and survive.  i doubt that they would do anymore, if they thought that there was official recognition of me, in government, or with the police.  the mexican girl and black guy work together, ganging up on people, wanting ignorant people to think that we don't know what we are communicating about, or that there are two of them.  they are trying to "get out of jail".  they are trying to trip up the government or police, or control the government or police, like brazen criminals would. 

______________________

i don't want to communicate down to black girls, or black people.  black girls really have been a problem, since 2008, and i wish that they had strong acknowledged public leadership, or a good acknowledged message which guides them in the good direction.  if i could delegate it down to someone, i would.  i already did my part, years ago.  i didn't do anything wrong in the beginning, or now.  i am innocent, and just reacting to repeated aggression.  they need one strong responsible message, not little social groups here and there, scattered on the internet.  it is dangerous.  grow up.  quit stupidly insulting me.  don't make an issue with unfriendly white people worse.  i am not one of the unfriendly white people.  obviously, because of repeated aggression, you have been stupidly insulting me.  you have a right to insult me, if it isn't stupid.  doesn't mean that i can now do whatever i want to .  they got embarrassed and confused.  that black woman at the grocery store in 2008 embarrassed them.  i want to move on.  i want everybody to be able to move on.  don't lie about m character because i called some black woman who assaulted me and everyone else a name.  she wanted to hurt everyone.  she has a mental problem.  i can call someone a name, and still be a loving person.  actually it was meant to protect people from people who are mean like that.

__________________________

6/20/25

it isn't surprising.  they are trying to get me to put negative tone information back on my website, probably thinking that i am more popular, and that they want to try to make me unpopular.  i am being slowly tortured, every day.  that is not an overstatement.  it is sick.  i am never at peace.  i am never relaxed.  i am not being fake.  it has nothing to do with medication.  no one communicates to me, letting me know that they know who i am, and that they know that there is a problem.  why don't people talk about the problem, openly, publicly?  some people, childish girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, and some of their friends, who have a security or confidence problem, want to go to war with others about my popularity.  they are trying to make me unpopular on the internet.  they think that i am more likeable or confident than they are, they become insecure about it, and then lie about my character, so that they think that they can win some kind of popularity contest which is totally unnecessary to engage in anyway.  why?  because they don't want me to have friends and love.  they also think that they can get people to give them money.  that is why they lie about me and money.

i like to earn my own money.  that is how i earn respect.  i also did a great amount of studying in the past, trying to help the world community.

what a few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with are doing is satanic.  they pretend as if they think that they are superior, when they know that they are not.  they want to be superior, when they already know that they won't be.  just like satan.  really blatantly ugly childish attitudes, also.  these people want to harm the community, like it is a game to them.  they want people to think that they think that it is funny that they are evil and rude.  they are socially lame.  the mexican girl and black guy are fake.  i am not fake.  people who act like they care about me are not faking something.  the mexican girl is always trying to give herself alibis in whatever way.  she will mix her story around, like criminals who know that they are in trouble do.  she is trying to confuse a crime scene.  she will do a little of that one day, and then a little of this the next day, to try to make it look like the honest people are fake, or so that she can imply that she has an alibi.

____________________
6/21/25

this is a very important point in time for black females, or black people in general.  it is wallow in stupid unnecessary shit, or swim happily in crystal clear water.  the choice is really yours.  you got yourself into this mess, but i don't want to accuse all black people of being wrong.  i am sick and tired of thinking of innocent sweet black people being hurt, and i don't want to communicate about this anymore.  black people want to hurt black people, or everyone.  they are crazy and stupid.  don't be bullied.  i have been standing up to bullies for years.  the problem is that it can seem as if they have more power than they do, if you keep paying attention to them.  this is their tactic.  it is not a normal situation.  their daily aggression is severely debilitating.   

if i stop fighting, it can create a vacuum.  today is an example of that happening.  i wish that the government or police would help out.  isn't enough testimony good enough, without physical evidence?  is is called circumstantial evidence?  be bold and do it anyway.  does it necessarily need to be a criminal case.  can't it be classified as something else?  back me up, please.  don't ignore the public, in general.  the public is going to become the government, eventually. 

i put in the 'for your information' section of this website that i was going to ignore stalkers, but i can't.  i don't want to go on and on anymore.  i've done enough, already.  i want to put a stop to uncivil unfriendly black behavior, regarding me and this public situation.  i wish that someone at the NAACP would have already done this.  it isn't difficult to put 2 and 2 together.  black females have been blatant about breaking the law, right in front of everyone.  not only that, but it is unspeakably cruel to me, the rest of the 144,000, and to the entire community..  it is really interesting and stupid, how we don't get any easy work done, because people want to hide, or not be brave.  jesus had the same issue(s).  don't let a problem sneak up on you.  you can't hide from God.  he is going to find you.  i am not the problem.  this doesn't have anything to do with me, anymore.  this is about some blacks versus some blacks, or whoever, for a creepy stupid sense of power.  do you know why?  honestly?  because a white christ makes some of them feel inferior.  especially because i knowingly gave them genuine love.  that is why they are stupidly stupidly stupidly determined to "prove" that i am "no" good, and that black people are "superior" in america, or wherever else.  it became a trend of uncivil unfriendly black behavior, which has absolutely nothing to do with what i have done, or more importantly, what i have not done.  they make fun of me, because they actually are insecure, and fake.  they make fun of people at a job, the people who are humble and try  they fake being self righteous, or on the side of good, like some people do.  they are very lazy and fake.  black girls need to admit that they made a mistake, implied.  this is very serious social business, and don't involve innocent black children in your mess.  that was childish and mean, illegal, more than once.  it is childish and very mean.  you childishness doesn't mean that you are right and that i am wrong.  

they are afraid, socially, of it seeming like a white person is more evolved, or superior to blacks.  that is why they are blatantly desperately wanting to slow me down, or are actually slowing me way way down.  i don't get much done each day, because of being intentionally assaulted.  sick game.  really horrible confusing life.  none of the 144,000 get much done because of it.  i think that these people would back off if the government or police got together and acted swiftly.  you need to acknowledge that christ exists, because there needs to be general accountability.  the bible doesn't prove that christ exists.  you don't protect me or others.

__________

he just attacked us again, right when i was finished posting.  it is debilitating, especially since you know that they can do it again and again and again.  you can't work.  you can't think about happy things, or it is very difficult to.  that is why it looks weird and excessive on the internet.  they try to make me look bad on the internet, not wanting people to be able to prove their real ugliness.

it is a black man trying to tear black people, especially black girls, away from a loving white person, for his own stupid selfish unrealistic desires.  he has a sex problem/personality problem.  black people are telling black people to be fake, with ugly attitude, telling them to act like they don't love a good white person, or white people at all.  i am a good white person.  it is not that i didn't want to be friends to black folk.  some of them make fun of me because i wanted to be friends with them.  they make fun of loving people, like thugs do.  it is actually fascinating to see how black females have reacted to a cheerful honest white christ.  i am honest because i have to be.  it is a no brainer.  they become insecure and fake, pretending as if they have some reason to hate him, angrily implying that they are superior.  i don't want black girls who are dumb and fake in my life.  nobody does.  

get out of my face!  
i'd rather think of my mother, or my father, or my girlfriend, or my family, or my cats and dogs, or funk kool interesting work which i have done for the world.  i am honored.

_________________

6/21/25
some of these black people don't give a damn about good white people, like me, or abraham lincoln, or all of the white union soldiers who died, believing in what they were doing.

black people are not immune from criticism, or prosecution, just like people of other races are.  you are not a separate entity in america, who only get special treatment because of the past slavery issue in america, or world war 2.  people can call blacks names, too, if they want to, even though i am not promoting it, or stating that it is supposed to be that way.

these black people who act out against me and the community are stupid ungrateful shit.  they don't love themselves, even after i gave them genuine love, from the very start in 1997, then repeatedly.

the black guy and mexican girl are headed down a dead end street, because they don't communicate anything conclusive.  in other words, they are not doing work.  it is stupid compounded, and they both know it.  communication is a form of work, and they are not doing work which would enable them to be able to survive.

these people are taunting the police, and governments, sort of like anarchists who state that they will steal jewelry from the jewelry store, if there is no alarm.  don't let this rot the government.  please do something about it.  if i am all alone, i have no psychological help.  no one does, long term.  the police should be aggressive, and use psychological warfare.  these people who are evil and rude try to make me look stupid on the internet, so that the government won't have anything to do with me, or protect me, so that these people think that they can invade government.  there should be an official reclassification of christ.

the mother and/or father of the black man who i believe lives in new jersey, and the mother and father of the mexican girl who i know lives in houston, texas, should report what you know about your children to the FBI.  i know that your children have told you that they have the ability to be aggressive, and that they have my vision in their left eye, evident.  they are a very big problem for the world.  they are confused, and doing serious damage.  try to bring them to their senses.  they are being creepy together, ganging up on everyone, wanting to show off like evil children, wanting to terrorize the community, including the church.  i know that they lie to you.  it is very easy to understand who is the black man and who is the mexican girl.  like 2 personalities, or minds.  sort of like hearing a distinct voice, even though i don't hear voices.

___________

6/22/25

the government and police need to know that the black man and mexican girl are thinking that they have nothing to lose if they try to control government.  they are like inmates at a jail, who were already sentenced to life in prison.  they both figure that they might as well try to break out of jail, or bribe the jail officers.  or they think that it doesn't matter if they get caught breaking into someone's house after escaping from jail, trying to get away.  they don't care about getting in trouble because they are already in trouble for life.  they are brazen and violent.  they are not intelligent.  childish.  lazy. 

___________

as with 144, 72 and 72 (720 minutes + 720 minutes) doesn't mean that 1/2 of the people are with the black man and mexican girl.  they are extreme perverse evil.  i can't reiterate enough about how childish and ignorant they are, confused, desperately trying to survive, wanting to be thought of as black and mexican celebrities, when they are not celebrities.   go away.  don't make your social problem everyone else's social problem.  there is also spring and fall, along with summer and winter.

____________________

7/10/25

about 2 weeks ago there was a very serious problem, again, on top of a ongoing situation which has been a very serious problem for years, especially since i moved into my new home, in the beginning of 2013.  the mexican girl tried to work it so that she could benefit from movie work which i had done, but also be able to do whatever with whoever the fuck she wanted to, secretively, not giving a damn about respecting me, or my dignity in general.  she wanted to use me, and then when she thought that she couldn't, she thought that she would kill me, literally.  she is still trying to have me murdered, by irritating the entire group, trying to give herself a way to gossip her way out of trouble, somehow.  she is an evil greedy ugly childish tonta mexican gold digger, who makes a sick game about acting like a prostitute.  like that is her idea of mexican female persona, or superiority.  there are so many better mexican females.  she wants people to think that there is no such thing as christ, or peace, in general, because she thinks that it gives men more gusto than women.  maybe if she had some honest gusto, she wouldn't have ruined her own life.  she is a mexican girl who thinks that her looks are going to get her something, when she is totally fake and cheesy, dishonest, evil.  she is not a celebrity.  she is not special.  she is typical evil mexican tonta.
the black guy wouldn't have joined in with cheesy fake black girls (paris hilton is childish, tacky, greedy disrespectful, cruel; a failure) if the mexican girl wouldn't have made everything so stupid, for so long.  they are fake and evil.  go away.  we have much better, more peaceful things to think of.

i have been sick for years.  i am still stick.  i can't heal, because i am not left alone in my own happy space.  these people know that i have a happy space to be in, and they don't like it.  some people want to involve me in their lives because they are childish and desperate.  i have been sick for years, being stalked, harassed, taunted.  i am never at peace.  the people doing it are taunting the police and government, too.  they are trying to scare people away from me, when i am harmless.  you should know me in person.  they are the ones who are scary.  i have started to lose interest in bathing, or brushing my teeth, for the last 6 months.  the general problem severely escalated about 2 weeks ago, and black folk need to realize that you are blessed, living in america, and that you need to be cool with cool white people.  a few black folk, not all black folk, need to admit that they are wrong, and that they have been lying about me.  they are making it about black supremacy which means that they are admitting to being insecure and fake, still wanting to have ugly social power.  they are insecure.  they are embarrassed.  i tried to give them security, more than once, but they don't seem to care about love.  they are not doing something which is about peace and intelligence.  quit gossiping about me.  they have been so obvious that they are childish, and fake, mean, intentionally, trying to recruit weak black people who are not happy, in general, wanting to pretend that they think that they are more powerful than they are.  don't try to take my power away from me.  you wouldn't know what to do with it.  you are never going to have it, anyway.  you don't have it.  let me do the work, and get out of the way, unless you really have something good to offer the entire community.  you mock me, and i am going to flush you down the toilet.  some people are very stupid for always wanting others to know that all they want to do is to think and gossip about anything about my life, other than the fact that i am a caring honest white boy, who always wanted to help everyone, from the very start.  don't segregate yourselves.  better if we work together.  sincerely.  i can be a caring honest white boy, and call an evil fake childish sadistic black woman a name, too.  people can call black people names, no matter what the name is, especially if the black person is truly guilty of intentionally violating someone.  blacks who captured and sold other blacks into slavery were the real problem.  sometimes the white people paid black people in africa with guns, so that the blacks could capture more blacks.  it started because there was a supply of black slaves being provided by blacks. that doesn't mean that white some white people in america shouldn't be more openminded about black people; loving.  some white people are put in the middle of the shit, and we don't want to be put in the middle of it.  

____________________

it really really seems like paris hilton wanted to intentionally ruin, or complicate my life, not wanting me to be popular, or more popular than her.  it seems like she wanted to "brag" about who she is, being one of the 144,000, while also intentionally complicating my life, making if more difficult for me to be at peace, and therefore, likeable.  it really seems as if she wanted to cause everyone to struggle, like she is stating "oh, i guess that i have more than you people do."  hilton isn't a cool social person.  she is a boring loner, with a few cheesy rich friends.

hilton made a big mess.  important, or actually not important.  why? because she is so unbelievably, unusually childish, greedy and disrespectful, that it doesn't represent the quality of the community.  it seems like she wanted to try scare people away from me, including famous people.  some black girls, the black man, and the mexican girl all try to scare people away from me, too.  they don't want me to be loved.  very weird childish envy or jealousy.  like little children, or like when you see dogs get jealous.

in 2008, paris hilton got so stupidly in everyone's face about her blatantly wanting to create unnecessary gossip, or misinformation, or disinformation, or propaganda about me and her, or about just herself.  i teased her in 2008 about blonde hair, thinking of Rapunzal, but i wasn't serious about being after hilton, at all.  it was harmless, and she knew it, but she wanted people to know that she immediately wanted to create gossip about it.  she couldn't even reciprocate a little bit of harmless love, like what i did was no big deal, by her doing nothing, and "sending" me peace and basic human support.  she had to send me a weird aggressive photograph of herself, with her hair cut short, extreme weird childish aggression, with Xs and Os on it (didn't make sense), which made me think that she was flirting with me, implying that i don't have to climb her hair very far, because i am already close.  i thought that she was telling me and everyone else that she liked me, or was interested in me, because i couldn't believe that someone would be so cryptic and extreme, cutting their hair, weird, greedy, childish.  i wasn't interested in a long term relationship with her.  that is not why i corresponded with her, initially, when she was in jail.  the problem is that what she sent me was unnecessary, weird, childish, cryptic, and actually cruel, since i lack privacy, and since she knew that it would confuse me, or create an unnecessary obstacle, publicly, also not stating anything conclusive or kind.  she was being blatant about wanting to play childish games in public, again, not communicating anything conclusive.  that is what stalkers do, because they think that it enables them to have power.  she gives me and other people the creeps.  once she knew that i didn't understand the meaning of the hair cut, knowing that she was confusing me badly, publicly, making me act stupid in public, like right now typing this shit, really fed up, she didn't let me know right away that it is not what she meant, like she wanted to make me act stupid in public, wanting people to think that i liked her more than i did.  i sort of faked liking her for about 6 months (2008 - 2009), being under pressure to be a decent person toward girls, in general.  it seems like she really doesn't like herself that much, because of how she wanted to create gossip that i was giving her attention.  like she is a child who is amused by it.  like her sister is probably amused by it, both of them being on some weird childish socially lame rich kid power trip. very weird, childish, aggressive (and it seem also insecure).  the hilton sisters are socially lame, and they try to make it look like i am socially lame, or a person with less money than them.  maybe they are trying to make all people who have less money than them look lame.  she didn't care if she confused me, or complicated my life, publicly, forever.  I was like a coworker giving a coworker an innocent tease, or bit of love which was harmless.  it was just about blonde hair, and not the serious Rapunzal story.  i had stated that i thought that maybe she had her hair pulled to the side, because it represented south, where i was in Texas, but it wasn't important, and i wouldn't have believed it for very long.  then she gets stupidly aggressive, weird and childish, sending me a photograph which was a way of her bragging about how rich she is, with her hair cut short, and looking toward the right, or south, like she was blowing a kiss.  she wanted me to talk about this, in public, with people not being able to see the photograph.  keep in mind that this is not private.  i sent both of the photographs which she sent me of her, back to her.  black girls probably took them out of the mail.  i got the photograph about 2 weeks after i joked about Rapunzal.  hitlon is childish, evil and conniving, and planned it so that she could fuck with me and everyone else, but also have a way out, in case she needed a way out, able to imply that the hair cut had nothing to do with me, or it doesn't prove anything.  in other words, she is blatant about wanting to use me, or other people, not caring at all about the confusing public hardship she would, or did create for me.  she wanted to test me for her own sick childish female amusement, not caring if she was making me sick and uncomfortable, in public.  she took cash from me for several months, on the hand bag business transaction, instead of asking me to send her a money order or check.  with everything else which she did, it was like she was blatant about telling people that she wants to be able to hide something, if she thought that she needed to.  what kind of responsible business woman is she?  she isn't a responsible business woman.  it is low class thug like shit. that is what she actually is.  i had thought that she had her hair pulled to the right side because of me and the south. for some reason hilton felt the need to force people to gossip about it, knowing that something would be lost in translation, not caring, as long as it was some kind of story about herself.  it seems like she wanted people to think that someone liked her, probably because she doesn't like herself that much.  she doesn't think much about herself, having been stuck in the media when she was young.  it is a fake world.  creepy psychology.  please keep in mind that when these things were occurring, back in 2008, hilton assumed that i would maybe (or probably, because she always thinks that she knows what is happening) never be online, or have a facebook account (or something online), in order to explain what happened, myself, with her thinking that it would just be a bunch of confused gossip from other people, especially girls (or it turned out to be low class black girls).  she is greedy and doesn't give a fuck about anybody.  supposedly she is a businesswoman, but the truth is that she doesn't give a fuck about anyone's business but her own.  thoughtless.  uncaring.  cruel.  the hilton family big secret is that she is a failure, in one of the most serious ways that a person (or family) could be a failure.  someone should write a book, entitled "the truth about paris hilton", or something like that.  i don't think that she will make a good mother.  she already doesn't teach her children good values, or respect for, or protect of, the entire community.  the stamps which she sent me on the envelope in the 'important 2' section of this website didn't mean that she was loving.  not at all.  it is totally stupid.  the stamps are another example of her weird childish unnecessary aggression (violence?  anger?), telling me and others that she doesn't give a fuck about respecting me, or my hard earned money (or a christmas gift which i wanted to buy someone, which she knew about), and that it is all about her sick childish power and control of everyone; weird public greed.  cold hearted, anti social, but masquerades as high class and civil.  also, when i mentioned the Rapunzal joke, i didn't know with certainty that i was in constant 24/7 activity her.  i thought that maybe i was, or maybe she knew about how other people were in constant 24/7 activity with me.  it is cryptic and ugly, fake if there is no kind words to go with it.  i am not stupid.  there is no commitment, not toward anyone, and that is why there is a problem.  she is a cheesy coward who wants to use me, and then make a sick childish simple life joke about it.  that is her feeble, fake concept of socialization.  

i would like a check or money order for $150 from paris whitney hilton.  an apology to everyone would also be good.  truthfully, or at least with me, because i lack privacy in manner which i do, we really can't move on, as a group, or as a happy community.  i state this, not as a pessimist, but as someone who can't believe how childish, greedy and destructive girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity have been.  they have survival problems, and they made it everyone else's problem.  lazy evil gold diggers.  

did i state that i hate paris hilton?  if i didn't already state it, i am stating it now.  i see right through her superficial fake.  she doesn't give a fuck about anyone, yet masquerades as some supposedly high class, supposedly civil, supposedly social, supposedly cool being .  it is a joke.  she is like a anti social disrespectful child with a mental problem.

______________________

7/18/25
some man on capitol hill said something which inspired me, about the thought of treating christ like he really needed to be treated, not in a way which is not pragmatic, or overly politicized.  reduce bureaucracy.  apparently we have to go through this every time, or 1/12th, i think sometimes without technology.  it is more about how people organize and choose to treat me, publicly, as a lesson to others, rather than me being able to literally move mountains for the public.  if i were the head of a business organization, i would want all of my employees to get the same basic information; same respect.  i mean, about christ.  try to prevent gossip from going in many directions, eventually.  basic message about love.  like a teacher introducing a new student to the class.

_________________

7/18/25
paris hilton isn't a part of this 144,000 situation because she is a celebrity, or a God person.  she is a part of it because she didn't obey the law.  paris hilton is a part of this situation because of criminal behavior, like a few other girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who exhibit criminal thinking and behavior.

i really don't want to communicate about her.  she is the one who wanted to go on and on about me, in private. she is a greedy childish creep.  she makes me feel sick, every day, a type of weird childish stalker.  it is not encouragement.  it is definitely not a sense of love.  cruelty is a part of her astrology make up, along with disobedience, thoughtlessness, boastfulness, bossiness, cockiness, along with a few other things which i think make her one of the worst females who i could have ever gotten mixed up with.  i didn't want to get mixed up with her.  she is a childish weird disrespectful girl telling me to play her cheesy unnecessary publicity game, otherwise she will ruin my life.  i will never play her childish stupid rich kid puke game.

she is the one who wanted to drag it on and on, from the very beginning.  she is evil.  conniving.

___________________________

i also sent something which was intended to be supportive of lindsay lohan, when she got locked up drug/alcohol treatment in utah.  i was not fans of paris hilton or lindsay lohan.  really.  i was neutral, and was just trying to lead the community with love, in general.  i thought that the encouragement would mean more if they received it when they were confined.  i don't intend to write to anyone famous in jail anymore.  i could have been writing to all kinds of famous people for years, but i didn't, and won't. 

it seems like paris wants to mock me.
actually, paris, some people actually have class.  you are not one of them. 
_____________________

7/18/25
for the military.
i sort of feel like i have to stay at my post.

this creature (black man/mexican girl) is intentionally irritating me and other people, not wanting me to be popular, not even caring if it makes itself unpopular.  i think that it has to do with alpha draconis (constellation of draco).  it wants to prey on people, and be able to get away with it, like criminals who want creepy really disturbing notoriety.  i think that these things keep stupidly reading information on the internet about negative aliens on the internet,  with them already obviously being ignorant, hoping that they will be rewarded for being childish and ugly.  it is easy to understand that they wouldn't have anyone who would follow them.  their game is just trying to get me to annoy people, so that i can't get as much accomplished.  i am a decent person who just wants to be left alone.  it's intent is to irritate and confuse people, not wanting there to be a strong sense of love or unity.  it is childish and perverted; criminal.  it thinks that it has an advantage, as long as people, including politicians, can not talk openly, publicly, about what they know about.  it wants to try to make it impossible for me to be liked, by childishly irritating me all of the time, even if i don't communicate about it myself on my website.  it tries to make ignorant people think of irrelevant or unimportant things, trying to cover up and also flaunt the fact that it is childish and ignorant.  it is really sad and frustrating.  we need to learn from this.  you have to be more aggressive in your handling of christ.  this crap is going to go on; meaning, undesired aggression from others.  it is a perverted CHILDISH evil anti social creature.  seems to hate everyone.  i don't think that it would take much to scare it off.  a smart political statement.  no one should care that much about me.  i have a website.  that's it.  what seems to matter to me is that the government officially publicly indicate that they are studying this phenomenon, or documenting it, for future understanding/application.  again, this creature (alpha draconis, i think) is childish and perverted, evil, sadistic.  it wants power, like a wild animal wants power.  it likes to think about how it is tripping people up, when people try to go about good business.  satan is real.  it is a real biological entity.  it has something to do with the stars.  negative/positive?  already understood?  2/3rd - 1/3rd?  please try to help.  it wants to try to make me look weak.  i am not weak.  this creature is sadistic, evil.  it lives in fear, and it is doing damage.  it is afraid that there will be a story, that i was liked more than it was.  it is also worried for racial issues.  it doesn't mean that all blacks and mexican are evil.  i am sorry if this confuses blacks and mexicans, but i am certain about who these 2 people are.  it is a stupid creature, living in denial, because it is still going to be a story about how i was good, and about how it was bad.  it seems like a good (honest) story should be created about me in the news.  psychological warfare.  love nudge.  i have some faults, but i am not evil, and i never lied to anyone who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, or with anyone on the internet.  this creature is evil, panicking, causing others, including me, to panic some.  it is difficult when you know that you lack privacy, and that those people communicate, and that those people communicate, and that those people communicate, etc.  it wants to humiliate me in public, but it just humiliates itself, obviously not believing in itself.  it is like unsophisticated terror organization with a weapon.  it uses its' ability to create contraction of muscle and soft tissue as a way of intentionally making people sick, not caring at all, like animals.  like crazy homeless bums who say weird things to you, constantly.  it has a love problem, so doesn't want to think about love which it thinks that i have.  i just want to be left alone.  i basically have what i need.  i wish that i could get a little more financial help from the government, moral support.  a solid 24 karat gold chair, sent to me from pope leo?  all of the people in the 144,000 need some love.  i understand that the social security administration uses a formula, in order to come up with the money which i currently have.  i am still trying to work some things with my photographs.  it would be nice if i got some recognition and support.  i feel all alone.  you guys can talk about the situation, to be able to cope with it.  i can't talk with anyone.  i don't think that this is the precedent which should be set, for the future.  i think that the bible creators already set a precendent, but feel as if it needs to be substantiated, time and time again. 

_________________________________   

i want people who don't know me as well, to know that i don't talk a lot when i am at jobs with other people.  i don't like to get into unnecessary gossip.  i have experience, and am openminded.  i keep sort of to myself, and just do my job.  the situation i am in is unusual, and is unusually difficult, or at times, impossible.  i'm not stating this, to try and get a job somewhere.  the problem is people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with childishly, unnecessarily gossiping about me.  that is what this situation means that they are doing, or have done, a lot of.  i can't do my job when other people are being blatantly stupid and childish.  no one could.  i can't think about my own life when a few others are acting like little children, wanting my attention, in public, because they think that it gives them power in other social situations, behind my back.  ugly stupid greed.  my internet work in this section of this website can create the impression that i am louder or more angry than i actually am, when i am actually around other people, in person.  that is what some people want it to look like.  because i lack privacy in the way which i do, some people play games, in public.  it can be scary and confusing.  it is really only a very few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with.  for example, i went to go have a nice meal with my girlfriend and family a few hours ago, and the meal was sort of ruined, intentionally.  i go through this every day, more than one time a day.  perverted abusive treatment, publicly, verifiable.  it is meant to be thought of as perverted abusive treatment, in public.  the black man and mexican girl have love problems, and are full of weird creepy childish hate, toward everyone.  a few black girls had love problems.  it seems like paris hilton was having a love problem; meaning, that is why she wanted to involve me in her life.  she lured me into a game, in order to try and make herself seem more important, or more special, than she is.  she is trash.  she can make it in her cheesy rich kid bubble world, but she wasn't lady or smart enough to be able to make it in the real world. 
________________

i got the boot from the military, but initially i did more than most soldiers did. i was almost awarded an army achievement medal in my helicopter repair school, fast track graduate, but i got into trouble with some other young soldiers about 2 weeks before we graduated.  alcohol related incident.  i only had one beer, but it didn't matter, i was under age.  the drill sergeant called us the 'dirty dozen'.  i was awarded an army achievement medal, somewhat unusual, when i left korea.  i was there for one year, at camp humphreys, and took college classes at night.  in general, i worked very hard, didn't have an attitude problem, but was not really cut out for military service at that age.  not mature enough.  too wild.  many soldiers get the boot with a general discharge.  it is still classified as honorable.  i was automatically awarded a good conduct medal at 3 years active duty, and got into my real trouble after that.  trivia.  i would like to try and find things to do with vets.  they have an art contest or something at the VA hospital, here in houston.  i am happy to have spent 4 and 1/2 years in the military.  awesome experience. 

by the way, as i have stated before in this section of this website, i keep getting assaulted by the black woman who attacked everyone, when i was at the grocery store in 2008.  she has no soul.  really.  she is crazy.  perverted.  totally childish, stupid and fake, trying to put pressure on other black women to be totally childish. stupid and fake, too.  lazy, lazy, lazy.  it seems like less spark. 

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7/19/25

satan, or whatever the creature's other names are, alpha draconis, north side of great pyramid, wanted/wants childish attention and childish notoriety.  it is perverted.  it is not sophisticated.  it tried to use electronic communication to try to make me look bad, but it has just revealed that it is totally stupid and evil.  rest in peace, george h. w. bush.  they are like obnoxious evil adolescents on the tv program, 'the first 48', who waste their time trying to get out of being thrown in jail.  they are getting confused, and sort of giving up, even though they will continue to try to mess things up for me, or just love in general.  sci fi movie.  think of an extraterrestrial which is not friendly.  i am extraterrestrial (yes) which is friendly.  more people will work for me.  it is natural.  i have the army, or heavenly host.  12 x 12 x 1000.  not the united states army, but a different type of army.  morale.  productivity.  yes, i will still bathe, brush, floss, and rinse.  lol.

i am getting tired.  i still have love in my life (family/girlfriend). 

________________________________

7/20/25

as another example of how i am being stalked, harassed, taunted, every day, when i got up today, i went downstairs to do a load of laundry, and the mexican girl stupidly childishly tries to make it seem like the south and north are important, when i bend down to pick up the laundry off of the floor to put it in the washer.  i have already talked to people about how north and south can be up ad down, instead of a 2 dimensional direction.  in other words, as she has been doing for years, also with the black man, they try to irritate people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, creating a serious obstacle or obstruction, trying to get people to communicate on the internet about what she is doing, or what she is referring to, desperately trying to give herself something to talk about later, trying to get money from someone, wanting them to think that she is interesting.  it is blatantly stupid.  i wasn't involved in anything illegal, unethical, immoral, in la grange, texas, or with northern trust bank.  she is lying about la grange, texas and northern trust bank.  she tries to get weak people who she thinks have social problems to lie about it on the internet.  it is mostly childish girls who in am in constant 24/7 activity with, who are the problem.  they have love problems or social problems, so they don't want to think of people having love for me.  the last hour of my life has been horrible, as it is is every day, certain segments of the day, and it means that i can't do anything other than thinking of being stalked by weirdos.  i can't do work, because my train of thought is constantly being intentionally obstructed.  that is why my posts looks excessive on the internet.  it is torturous and cruel.  perverted.  the mexican and black guy are pissed and sour because they have been exposed, being blatantly ugly about it.  they are childish and ugly (behavior).  it is like waking up every day to an obnoxious mexican, who wants to be thought of as an obnoxious mexican, putting spray paint all over your house, every day.  she thought that she would have more mexican friends, or more opportunity with mexicans, if they knew that she was obnoxious, rude.  she is a loser.  drug addict/alcoholic who doesn't have any money or friends.  she does this type of thing every day, wanting me and others to know that she is trying to create a bunch of stupid unnecessary bullshit on the internet, trying to give herself a chance to wrongfully defame me, if she thinks that she needs to do that, because of whatever social situation she will be in later.  it is a sick childish perverted mockery of a white boy (me) who knowingly wanted to honestly help everyone.  it seems like these girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity with want to humiliate men, childishly, like they think that they can't do what i am doing, as well, thinking that it gives me unique confidence, with them not liking it.  they didn't want it to be a story about my happiness, probably because they are sour because i have worked for my happiness.  they are not happy, so they don't want other people to be happy.  we are going to be happy anyway.  i am going to galveston island today, to spend happy time with my girlfriend, her son, and dogs.  this is part of what the mexican was referring to, wanting to mess up my time.  galveston is south.  i am not crazy.  this is what the mexican girl and black man do.  they obstruct happiness, wanting people to know that they are creepy, implying that no one can prove what they are doing, or that they can't be criticized.  the mexican girl was also telling the black man to act aggressively toward me, when i drive down (south) to galveston, so that they can continue to lie about northern trust, or la grange, texas, and also about what is in my heart.  she tries to use the black guy, to try and put the blame on black people, or to try an put blame on me.  the black man and mexican girl attack each other sometimes.  they are like animals.  they are thugs, trying to hide, to get away with criminal behavior.  in one way she wants to blame blacks, in another way she wants to blame whites, implying that blacks and mexicans are working together.  she shits all over everyone, wanting to use whoever she can.  she is evil, and tries to give herself all of these alibis, when no one is going to listen to her stupid shit anyway.  she is weird and creepy.  

she continues.  it doesn't surprise us at all.  like an obnoxious evil child.  then she did the attempt to cover up the cover up.  she is always doing this.  like i said again, their intent is to irritate people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with us, trying to get us to communicate about how she is a problem.  she thinks that it gives her alibis, or a way of hiding, with her also trying to create a social opportunity for herself, now, but especially after i die.  this girl tried, and is still sort of trying, to have me murdered.  she doesn't want to go through her life with her weird creepy identifiable left eye problem.  you shouldn't feel sorry for her.  unnecessary weird vicious brutality toward others, including children and old people.  the black guy, too.

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7/20/25
one more thing that i thought about is that i used to have the business card of the black woman who worked at the northern trust bank, which used to be on kirby drive in houston, texas.  this was witnessed.  i called her once, weeks or months after i had gone to the northern trust bank on kirby drive, dropping off a letter which was my way of trying to protect people from the bank, basically stating "you are on your own' or "i am not endorsing this".  don't forget that i read the letter aloud, thinking that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone.  i thought that the black woman was involved in something shady, because i thought that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone.  i thought that she knew about me, and more about the situation, than she did.  i eventually threw away her business card when i was going to attempt to commit suicide, not wanting my parents to find it in my house, not understanding why i had it in my possession.  i already communicated about this.  i am glad that the black woman kept the original of the letter which i wrote.  again, i thought that she was doing something shady when i was at the bank, but she wasn't doing anything shady.  i am absolutely sure that there is no unusual issue, or no unusual problem, at northern trust bank, i believe based in chicago.  it was just a misunderstanding.  i thought it was a bank where resources would be pooled (interest?), in order to help the world.  at one time, i thought that obama was stating publicly that northern trust had helped american banks stabilize.  i saw him on tv, i think in 2010, and thought that it had something to do with me, or northern trust  bank, thinking that i was in constant 24/7 activity with everyone.  after some more time, the situation didn't make any sense, and i thought that a few people at the bank got selfish egos, and were wanting to take advantage of a situation which they didn't know was going to happen.

i don't know what happened to the letter which i wrote.  i think that i didn't worry too much about filing it away, or saving it, after going to that northern trust bank location, which used to be on kirby drive, in houston, texas.  i went there in early part of 2011.  i have unusual mental issues, also have difficulty focusing, or prioritizing, sometimes.  

isn't this stupid, that i would have to spend this much time communicating about the mess which other people make, or are intentionally making?  for years and years, trying to protect the community from people who try to create stupid gossip.  i mean, the black guy and mexican girl who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, mostly, but it went on.  i am not involved with banks or business.  i had no interest in that.  boring people lie about me and money, because they want people to think that they are more interesting that they are.  

______________

seriously. some girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity with have been, or still are a problem.  they are childish, and not humble.  obnoxious.  they act like they don't care about building, at all.  it seems like they think that i am more loveable when i am peaceful, and that that is the reason that they are blatant about wanting to irritate me, every day, every 24 hours, so that i don't reset.  childish envy or jealously.  i understand if ignorant people think that i go on and on too much, in this section of my website.  i am not the one going on and on.  and no, i don't have a mental problem, or am not schizophrenic.  they have mental problems.  they know that i am a peaceful happy person, by nature.  they don't like for me to think of anything or anyone else but them.  the mexican girl has good looks, but is so unintelligent and boring.  evil evil gold digger, too, like she is blatant about thinking like a prostitute, as other cheesy mexican girls do sometimes..  i know for sure that she is a mexican girl.  not an alien, or whatever she wants people to think, involved in a cover up, but still wanting a chance to brag about who she was, or is, a mexican girl.  she is an ugly racist, in her mexican world.

paris hilton is actually stalking people, or preying on people.  she does it with TMZ, too.  a criminologist would think the same, if they knew what i knew about everything she did (or continues to do by not resolving it in a civil manner, publicly).  she is creepy, childish and anti social.  i haven't watched TMZ in over 10 years.  i really don't want to communicate about her anymore.  she created such a sad, hopeless feeling situation for me, and also in america, or the world, in general, it seems intentionally.  she is not a sweet girl.  cruelty is a part of her astrological makeup.  she likes to harm people and get away with it, or to just be able to get away with things, in general.  i know what i am communicating about.  she wants to leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth, on some stupid power trip, because she is angry because she knows that i would have been peaceful, and more loveable, in a way which she knows that she isn't, or wouldn't get credit for.  other girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity with think the same way.  it is like they want to humiliate or wrongfully defame special men. 

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7/25/25

the black guy continues to intentionally make us sick, not wanting people to think that i shine, because he is a childish envious bitch, who thinks that i will always shine much brighter than he will.  he has a stupid sex social problem.  he is weird, blatantly creepy, childish, and blatantly lame.  he attacks us in a way which is meant to be thought of a stupid and creepy, in the mornings, before i get out of bed.  it is very very confusing, disorienting, because he wants to remind me of how he is vicious and evil, and how he will continue to ruin my life, every day, or every morning, being blatant about being a weird childish stalker.  he is making a mockery of the point i made above about 24 hours being a good reset point, implying that he will never allow me to reset; weird creepy childish stalking negro bitch.  i absolutely guarantee ignorant people that he does not mean to be thought of as an encouragement.  don't take it out of context.  he is creepy every day, definitely knowing that i don't like him, and that i want him and other people to leave us alone.  he is intentionally terrorizing me and other people, in general, totally stupid fake, and childish, a weird black wimp, obnoxious, insecure, socially lame, pretending as if he thinks that black women like him for harming me, an innocent defenseless white boy.  some black women probably do like it, communicating about it online somewhere, stupid, and they are sick childish unfriendly angry ugly attitude racist black females, who don't seem to care about love, in general.  this black guy, and some black females have weird weird vicious childish hate in them.  that is what they are telling people.  that they hate white people.  especially good white people?  other types of people can have hate in them, too.  i am not with any of them.  he is also trying to create an opportunity for blacks to act like they hate mexicans, or to try to put the blame on mexicans, wanting to try and involve the mexican girl.  it is only one mexican person who is a problem for us, not all mexicans.  he is creating the pain in my lower leg.  very weird creepy confusing sensation.  everything he does is creepy.  it is meant to be thought of as creepy and weird.  imagine a weird disheveled crazy homeless bum, saying something creepy/disturbing to you as he walks by you, while you are walking in a downtown area somewhere.  some crazy bum who wants you to know that he likes to disturb your peace.
__________________

7/26/25 

some of these people spend all of their stupid time implying that i am not attractive, or that i shouldn't be loved, and they do it because they think that they are not attractive, or that they shouldn't be loved.  i do not mean this toward the community, in general.  i think that the community, in general, is smart enough to figure it out for themselves.  peace.

_______________

7/26/25

the black guy is basically telling black girls that he gets mad when he thinks that girls like me.  wow.  he does it because he thinks that i have something which he doesn't have.  he is childish and really cheesy negro blatant about being a stupid wimpy socially lame unconfident black man who wants to hold black girls hostage, implying that black girls should exude angry childish fake pride.  it is very frustrating to have to be stuck with some of these people.  truthfully, people group with other people because of a common characteristic.  difficult to understand "one body" in that way.   i would have just been busy for 13 years, since the beginning of 2013, doing some really cool work.  it seems as if i ended up doing some other really cool work, anyway.  

________________________

7/27/25

the black man and mexican girl are engaging in form of terror.  it is very serious, and their should not be gossip about it.  he is being disgusting smug and creepy again, evil, this morning, before i get out of bed, "talking" back to me and everyone else who he thinks is paying attention.  it is meant to make us sick, and inflict emotional harm.  it is meant to make world sick.  so is the black woman who stupidly assaulted me in 2008, at the grocery store.  it is a form of terror, every day.  they are working together, totally cheesy childish fake black people.  they are embarrassed and guilty, and are all stupid about it, publicly.  this is a very serious matter, and i wish that the police or government would help.  no one in my situation could develop, AND IT IS BECAUSE NO ONE HELPS ME.  please let the public know that i am here and that there is testimony, which i know that there is, that there is a problem.  i need to be protected, or given a basic amount of respect, publicly.  the community needs to be protected.  these people who are causing problems are just a very few stupid childish unsophisticated evil sadistic freaks who will probably go away really quickly.  they are hoping that no one will show me love.  they make it all about the childish fact that they don't want me to be loved, or that they are implying that i will never be loved.

_________________

7/27/25

the black man, mexican girl and black woman assaulting me when i am online have an attitude like "oh, look how obnoxious and childish we are, making everyone sick every day.  oh, we know that josh is innocent too.  haha."

they are unpopular, so they want to try to make me unpopular.  desperate.  black people are embarrassed.  so is the mexican girl.  so is paris hilton, but she tries to play it off like she is cool, when she isn't.

it is a very easy way to make me unlikeable, by constantly, every day, all day long, violating my personal space. it is very confusing and torturous.  the other people in the 144,000 feel the same way.  i am defenseless, so i am trying to get help for not only me, but everyone, in general.  the creature (satan, or whatever the name is) is engaging in psychological warfare.

the black woman is harming me when i am online, in order to try to imply that i have no right to criticize black women, without proof.  this is other thug black womens' scam, too.  this woman is sick, and wants me to know that it is her.  she has also followed me out into the community.  she wants me to talk about what she is doing, wanting people to know that it is her.

it is blacks obviously thinking so little of blacks, which makes me think so little of blacks.  it is a mexican obviously thinking so little of mexicans, which makes me think so little of mexicans.  otherwise, i would have been thinking positive things about blacks and mexicans, as people can normally do.    

because blacks and a mexican lack confidence, they create a problem for other blacks and mexicans.  i know that i tried to help everyone.  some people didn't want me to get credit for that, because they thought that it seemed like i was better, or more attractive, than they were.

they don't want to try to associate their image with the image of a white nerdish christ.  they want to associate their image with black and mexican thug people, because they think that they won't have to do as much work, or because they think that their lives will be easier, or because that is who they want to identify with.  they unnecessarily involve me in their lives, in order to be able to insult me, and imply that they are superior.  they do this because they think that they have less power, or are not as powerful.  i don't have a problem with all blacks and mexicans.  they are not all a problem for everyone.  it is difficult to remember sometimes that i love blacks and mexicans, in general, because of how much i am being intentionally made sick by blacks and a mexican.  they are like childish socially lame unfriendly anarchists, or vandals.

the black man wants to be thought of as thug black girls' knight in shining armor, and it is so incredibly childish and pathetic.  he is criminal.  he is fake.  the thug black girls are criminal.  the thug black girls are fake.  he is actually wanting to hold them hostage, jealously, envy, not wanting them to be free, or to meet their potential in america, or to be knowingly loved.  the black man wouldn't be stalking us, intentionally harming us, badly, every day, if the thug black girls had not have acted up childishly stupidly rudely over the years, blatantly breaking the law, stealing my mail, infecting my blood at a care facility, publicly.  he implies that he impresses them, by publicly harming an innocent, defenseless white man, who has power.  it is so cheesy and childish.  people who are not sensing this wouldn't believe how unsophisticated, obnoxious, childish and criminal these people are.  all of this goes back to paris hilton, who really, childishly, with cruelty, seems to have wanted to create a problem for me, and for everyone else.  she is sick weird blatant about playing stupid games, wanting to unnecessarily complicate my life.  hilton would want ignorant people to think that she never got a message from me about the $150 money problem, or the respect and decency problem she created.  she used to have a phone number on her website.  it was her.  also an email address.  not only that, but she wanted me and everyone else to definitely know that she is in constant 24/7 activity with me.  like some weird person shining a flashlight in my face, in front of everyone else, making me unnecessarily think of her, also making me uncomfortable.  the mexican girl wouldn't be doing what she is doing, stalking us, intentionally harming us, if the black guy wasn't doing what he is doing, obviously lying about northern trust bank (attacking me like some weird perverted negro pig when i am driving west), putting pressure on the mexican girl and other people who he thinks are weak, who he thinks are fair game for his evil manipulation scheme.  they are holding everyone hostage.  paris hilton is one of the people holding us hostage.  yes.  she is actually a lazy anti social person. she really is low class trash, who tried to put pressure on me to act like i love her, publicly, even when she is blatantly childish, disrespectful, selfish, cruel.  really fucking socially lame, in general.  she likes to get her easy way in life, not wanting to really be have to be humble.  basically she thought that she would make me look angry or dorky, like i was a fan of hers when i wasn't, if i didn't stupidly kiss her ass in public.  this goes on and on, every day.  these people assume that no one will ever be brave, or show me a little recognition and love, publicly, while i am alive.  why is it so difficult to officially recognize me, with a little respect?  i have already been loving.  now it is your turn.  you need to protect children and government, long term.  no one should be afraid of me, or of God.

______________________________
7/27/25

i had so much fun cruising an electric bike down the texas galveston island seawall last week.  i want to do it every few months.  electric bike are really fun to ride.  you can coast, without having to do as much work.

i also went to the naval museum in galveston.  i am not sure if i could make it as a mariner.  subs or boats.   i think that i would feel uncomfortable, and powerless, if out at sea for a long time.  the work which the submariners did, on those cramped subs, underwater, is astonishing.  take a tour sometime.

______________________

7/27/25
i added some more information at the top of this section of this website, about what i think is a possible way to investigate the black man, at the u.s. social security administration.

7/27/25

some cheesy childish unloving hater people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, would want people to think that george h. w. bush is important, because he was a republican.  right.  sure.  not to mention that i voted for barack obama, hilllary clinton, kamala harris, sylvester turner, all of whom are democrats.  bush stated something unusual, "1000 points of light", and my situation is unusual, he lived in houston, and i thought that his experience as a freemason was more important that it was.  it was sort of child like.  i assumed that certain people knew that i was going to accomplish something positive for the community.  what else would make sense?

7/27/25

not really important, but i wanted people to know more about my college degree.  i didn't really understand what the academic field of communications was about.  i got into a serious car crash in 1995, 3 months after getting out of army.  facial reconstruction.  my whole nose is a piece of titanium alloy.  i have some metal plates and screws about both eye sockets.  they also did a bone graph on the left side of my face.  someone gave me a pill at a bar, don't remember leaving.  i'm glad that i didn't hurt anyone else.  i passed out at the wheel, hit a tree, almost to where i intended to go.  i was self conscious about my appearance, or i think that my mother thought that i was, so she chose an elective course of 'tv acting', while i was going to attend houston community college.  this was the fall of 1995.  at the end of the class, the teacher stated that he needed help with a project.  it was production or tech help with the college stage production of 'the african company presents richard III'.  it was in the heinen theater at houston community college, downtown.  the building used to be a synagogue, designed by joseph finger, architect, who also designed houston city hall.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Finger

https://search.yahoo.com/search?fr2=p%3ads%2cv%3aomn%2cm%3asa%2cbrws%3achrome%2cpos%3a1&fr=mcafee&type=E210US1485G0&p=heinen+theater+houston+texas+history+museum

"crabs!  fresh crabs! fresh (da da) baltimore crabs!"

"make your back strong, make you live long..."

i really enjoyed running the sound/light boards for dramatic stage productions, so i wanted to study theater.  you have to stay sharp during productions.  my advisor, when i got to the university of st. thomas, told me that there was a double major in drama and communications which i agreed  to.  i think that i told her that i liked working with technology, in theater, and that it made her think of communications.  i didn't know what i was getting into, as with the academic field of communications, so i had not thought about a tv news anchor position, or something like that.  good show, and God bless.  i ended up opting for just a liberal arts degree, with an emphasis in drama and communications.

the last show i worked was 'big river', at queensbury theater, close to my home in houston.  musical.  it was about 119 cues, every time, for i think 16 shows.  jim is kool.  jim is my friend.  jim is the black character in 'big river'.  he is friends with huck.  tom sawyer is a part of it, too.



________________

7/28/25
some black people keep panicking because they think that they have made themselves seem unattractive.  so they are desperately, really stupidly trying to make me seem unattractive, every day.  they seem to be indicating that they will always act like animals.  the black guy tells low class cheesy fake black girls to be stupid on the internet, and they are a long term national security threat.  really.  they are settling to the bottom, like sludge.  he is mixing lies together about northern trust bank, like a child.  the black man is trying to make it seem like i was thinking something unethical when i was in the elevator of george h. w. bush's office, in 2005, prior to the black guy acting aggressively to me about the number 5, in 2006.  i wasn't doing anything wrong in the elevator.  i thought that maybe the name of northern trust meant something about northern crown (corona borealis) and southern crown (corona austrailis), but i wasn't going to write about it to anyone.  this is when i was young, thinking that things were more important than they were, or are, sort of child like.  i seriously doubt that northern trust bank has anything to do with corona borealis.  also, someone honked at me from the parking lot of my apartment complex, when i lived on galveston island, from 2002 to 2003, when i was looking in the dictionary, just happening to see corona borealis and corona austrailis.  i don't know who honked at me, but i appreciate what seemed to be love.  they honked when i read aloud southern crown.  a few times it seemed like loving black people were trying to help me.  honking at me from the parking lot at certain times, or one time when it sounded like a couple of black guys were outside of my apartment bedroom window, right after i got into bed, i think doing a bit of nurturing, but also trying to get me to snap out of doing what i was doing, strange, over and over, using meth and studying, going crazy too, talking out loud.  lots o' love.  i didn't think that i was supposed to be involved with northern trust bank, until the black man acted aggressively toward me, in 2006, not understanding what or who the black man was, and that he is an ignorant childish selfish fool.  it became obvious in 2011 that he was not something highly advanced, not working for the government or something, but an ignorant childish weird disrespectful insecure black cheesy bitch dork.  he is such a stupid, childish, insecure, fake, evil, unfriendly, obnoxious black man, with the black girls who he works with also being stupid, childish, insecure, fake, evil, unfriendly and obnoxious.  he has a girl problem/social problem/sex problem, and is angry and insecure about it.  haha.  the black girls have problems, too.  he thinks that he is going to have a problem next time, and he will.  too bad.  he goes on and on and on like a little weird wimpy stupid black bitch about a mistake which he thinks that he made, with northern trust bank.  the few black trouble makers who are out there don't represent all black people, just because they are black.  back off.  go away.  get away from all of us, which includes getting away from children and old people.  i am happy that i went to george h. w. bush's office.  my heart was in the right place.  my studying inspired me.  i imagined being able to do good for the public, and being able to have professional coworkers, and security, but i was feeling confused or awkward, publicly, because i knew deep down that i had a drug usage problem.  it was a combination of unique confidence and awkwardness, publicly.  i also wanted to see what the old geezer's office looked like.  lol.  i am glad that i was arrested for methamphetamine possession in 2006.  i finally got clean, really moving on with my life, because of being on probation.

_______________ 
7/28/25
some of these people don't want others to believe in christ, because of their childish envy, or jealousy.  i don't mean the community, in general.

_______________
7/28/25

the black man, black woman from the grocery store in 2008, and the mexican girl, are like zombies. they are psychopaths. it is a little scary.  they are in human bodies, on earth, and have parents, just like other people have parents.  you don't understand how cruel this is, without public help.  these people are weird SADISTIC freaks.  they are childish and trying to scare people away from me, or the situation, trying to trick public officials, or whoever, into thinking that there would be bigger problem, if some public official spoke up for me, when i don't think that there would be a bigger problem.  nobody but the very few people who have embarrassed themselves want to harm me.  this includes paris hilton.

________________

7/28/25
have some black girls already started some cheesy fake stupid black thing ugly racist misinformation/disinformation campaign, because of what i stated and then deleted, about 1 month ago, in this section of this website?  did you think you were being sneaky, doing something behind God's back, getting a thug black girl creepy thrill.  you know, after the black man stupidly stupidly stupidly attacked me like a weird pig again, while i was driving west?  he is a fake fake fake childish annoying nigger. he wants people to know that he is fake, trying to recruit insecure socially lame black slime.  you know, when i stated "god damn you niggers.  you know who you are."  guess what?  i state that because you are going to hell.  no one would ever forgive you.  i know without a doubt that people, including black people, agree with me.  i can call people names in defense if i want to, whatever the name might be.  it is totally natural.  especially when i lack privacy in the way which i do.  i didn't grow up calling black people names.  black people have done this to me, since 2008, it seems intentionally.  no one is going to feel sorry for you, in america, negro.  you are the perpetrators.  grow up.  get the fuck away from us.  they are basically complaining about being black, or whatever they think about themselves.  some black people don't have that problem.  i don't hate all black people, or all anyone.  it is natural to hate evil sadistic criminals.   i would like to have some simple black friends, or companionship. 

__________
7/28/25
basically some black people are implying that they can attack an innocent defenseless white person, or white people, or whoever, and that it doesn't matter.  they are trying to intimidate other people.  this really has nothing to do with anything which i have done or haven't done in my life.  this is simply about black hate toward whites, especially whites who they think are more attractive than they are.  they group together because they are unintelligent, insecure, lacking confidence.  they want to have a sense of power because they don't feel powerful.  i tried more than once to give them power, honestly, sincerely.  they are so rude and ungrateful.  they didn't want me getting credit for being something better than them, because of their insecurity, so they mocked me.
____________
7/28/25

a few unintelligent black people, who lack confidence, who are unfriendly, want to make america ugly, like it is a sick joke.  it is not going to work.  if this was a workforce, they would be fired, or let go, or not promoted.  not even hired, because "they didn't go out and look for work".  the majority of black people don't want to do this black degradation thing, which the few other black people have done, and they know that they have much better things to think about.  black people in america need to let slavery go.  european blacks think differently than u.s. blacks.  black people in america need to think about be strong leaders of the community, for whites and blacks, or whoever else, in the world.  many of them already are.  white people should be open minded to this.  make it about love and intelligence, in general.  it is going to mix together.  appreciate the good in all races. 

________________

7/29/25

people don't need to pay too much attention to what is toward the bottom of this section of this website.  word of mouth is more important.  i am being intentionally made sick every day.  it is torturous.  that is not an overstatement, at all.  people didn't expect me to be as successful as i have been, and that it why they are panicking, going on and on about absolute nonsense, every every day, attempting to wrongfully defame me, not wanting people to think that i am healthy and productive; likeable.  it doesn't mean that i am crazy or weak or unfriendly.  the people intentionally making me sick are crazy, weak and unfriendly.  some people are evil and criminal.  that is already understood in life, in general.  some of the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with betrayed me and the community because they had/have personal social problems, BECAUSE THEY STUPIDLY GOSSIPED ABOUT ME TOO MUCH, FOR A VERY VERY LONG STUPID TIME  black girls, mostly.  they got themselves into social trouble which they can't get themselves out of, or are not even trying to get themselves out of, because they are lazy and socially lame.  these people who betrayed me and the community seem to have a problem with me being loved, in general, wanting to unnecessarily involve me in their lives, or their relationships with others. .

________

7/29/25

i'll bet in the last 24 hours that a few evil childish disrespectful socially lame black people stated online that they have never heard me talk out loud about people honking at me from parking lots, or corona borealis/corona austrailis and northern trust bank.  i have no problem at all, telling people every single thought in my brain.  i never did.  i always told the truth about everything in my life, and these people know it.  they are obsessed with how i am good, or they have a weird creepy fixation on me, because i a innocent, and because they are not.  that is why they lie about everything.  they are lying about themselves, or what they are, wanting to be thought of as God, or superior, when they know that they are not.  that is satanic.  totally stupid perverted upside down ego.  they think that i am more loveable than they are, and it makes them sour.  they are evil, and very very boring.  they knew what was happening as it happened.  i never held or hold back at all.  years later they got themselves into social trouble, and then continue to try to trick ignorant people into thinking that my past is more interesting or important than it is.  i am not evil.  i am honest.  i always wanted to help everyone.  end of discussion.  they are evil.  they are dishonest.  they only want to try to empower low class, lazy, dishonest, weak black people, because of their inabilities and greed.

____________

7/29/25

the very few people who are being unnecessarily aggressive, knowingly, stupidly, are admitting to being socially lame.  that is what socially lame people do.  ignorant people don't understand how cruel these people (creatures, or whatever) are.

__________

7/29/25

i did not grow up in a racist south.  my father was not in in the ku klux klan.  my uncle was not a klan member, and also the sheriff of a mississippi town.  i didn't grow up with the work nigger.  i didn't like the word nigger, when i was younger.  i still don't like it.  i will use it to make a point, that i can attempt to defend myself in any way which i possibly can.  i am being knowingly assaulted by sick weird perverted childish fucks, 4 people who are working together.  hilton is an enabler.  she wants other people to do her dirty work.  then it is a few black women, black guy with my vision is his left eye, mexican girl with my vision in her left eye.  N word is stupid.  nigger is just a word which i grew up with, which has a negative connotation, which didn't or doesn't mean that i always use it when addressing black people, or that i think negatively of all black people.  it is a confused subject.  sometimes i call myself a nigger, for a show of mixed brudershaft.  i can be cheerful and silly as fuck, sometimes, in my home.  good luck.  ignorant people would really not believe how perverted the people (creatures) are who are making me sick.  childish and perverted.  like having been kidnapped, and tortured.  this will create strange gossip, because of the 144,000 situated world wide.  america should take the lead.  make a statement.  i am not in any trouble with the law, and i know without a doubt that i am being monitored.  i am happy that i am being watched, and i am not toying with the government.  i am a good worker.  always have been.

___________________

7/29/25

the people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are perverted possessive.  psychopaths.  they are people who embarrassed themselves, who are in social trouble.  i think that the nigger issue helps black people.  they shouldn't feel as if they have to think that there is something which makes them different than other people.  people call people names.  so what?  my impression is that they like being thought of as an equal.  the people who are being unnecessarily aggressive want me all to themselves.  again, weird childish possessiveness.  they want to know that i was good, but didn't want other people to understand what they understand, not wanting to share it with others; i guess being enamored by it.  they want to imagine that they are better than other people, or that they have unique power in the manner which i do, but not wanting to share what they actually know about me.  it is so incredibly creepy, every day, every day, every day, etc.; weird childish evil perverts, who want attention and notoriety.  no one else would do this, but them.  i mean, the very few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who have egregiously ashamed themselves.  they will never go to heaven.  really.  they know that, so they are trying to prevent me and other people from going to heaven.  they don't want to go away, because they know that it would be publicly known that it got better, and that it would be very obvious that they are the problem.  they are attempting to discredit all people who honestly support me, tirelessly.  i work tirelessly. 

___________

7/30/25

i don't have to be afraid of black people.  nobody does.  i feel as if i really don't have a choice, but to call them a name, publicly.  it is completely natural.  it would be unnatural if i didn't call them a name, publicly, given the type of perverted childish evil abusive treatment which they knowingly dish out, publicly, every day, day after day.  it seems like they are happy that i call them a name, because then they think that they have leverage over everyone.  they imply that i don't have rights, or that other people don't have rights, trying to create social leverage for themselves..  it seems like they are trying to get me to call them names.  that seems to be their plan, not caring at all about the fact that they knowingly started the trouble, and are assaulting me, or that they are at fault.  they would imply that it doesn't matter if they are assaulting me, and that they only thing which matters is that i called them a name.  guess what, negro.  i don't have to be afraid of you.  nobody has to be afraid of you.  they are intentionally provoking me, in order to try to make me look like a monster on the internet, knowing that it is too difficult for me to do nothing about it, not stating anything to the public.  the amount of posts which i make should be an indicator of how debilitating it is, constant unwanted aggression; constantly intentionally violating my personal space; obstruction.  they are the ones who are ugly, and they know it.  spiritually ugly.

what is their point?  i mean, really.  that they are insecure?  i mean, with the every day assaults.  if you were sensing me, like they are, it is so obvious that i don't lie.  weird perverted childish mockery of an honest person, or of honest people.  

_____________

7/30/25

the mexican girl is a greasy evil taco.  i have no problem stating this in public, since i know with absolute certainty that good honest mexicans who i am in constant 24/7 activity with are supportive of me, regardless.  it seems like she wants criminal attitude thug mind racist angry mexicans to think that they should give her free dope, or something else for free. she is a loser.  she is a really really boring unintelligent socially lame disrespectful obnoxious evil mexican bitch, flaunting it, taunting people, stupidly stupidly stupidly childishly faking thinking that she is attractive. she is socially lame.  weird cheesy slime.  she wanted or wants people to think that she is a celebrity, when she knows that she isn't.  she is an evil gold digger, sort of flaunting the fact that she thinks like mexican prostitute.  she is also trying to make it look like mexican women, or women in general, have more power or superiority than they do, or that they will.  paris hilton did the same thing.  mexican girl actually has a massive weak female inferiority complex, which means that she acts stupidly and childishly, because of her own thought about her being inferior.  it also seems to be her thought about mexicans, in general, with her being insecure about something.  if ignorant people knew the history of what has happened since 1998, or knew what is happening now, it is very easy to know that it is 2 different people who are assaulting us, working as a team, both of them capable of creating contractions of my muscle and soft tissue which other members of the 144,000 can sense.  they are using it as a type of weapon, to obstruct, everyone, also wanting to create unnecessary gossip on the internet about my past, desperately trying to get themselves out of social trouble. like trying to confuse a crime scene.  they are dumb criminals.  they don't want me to be popular.  they think of it as life or death.  the are definitely panicking, thinking that someone will kill them later, in future lives, knowing that they are identifiable.  their left eye issue.  i know what i am communicating about.  i think that i will be popular, anyway.  loving white people would call these 2 people names, also.  enough is enough.  it is about my rights.  it is about everybody's freedom.  i wouldn't call these people names if i didn't know, absolutely without a doubt, that the 144,000 agrees with me.  i know that the community is getting the same information about this situation from other people, besides. me.  some of them obviously lie, but they definitely wouldn't be the majority.  maybe 20%.   no one except people who have embarrassed themselves over the years would want to harm me.  they created a personal racial problem for themselves, with people of their own kind, by being ugly racists, unnecessarily, obviously fixed on black and mexican ugly stereotypes.  this doesn't mean that blacks and mexicans are ugly, in general.  definitely not.  these people who are causing problems are satan, or it is satanic.  they don't have anything positive to think of, so they don't like other people to be positive.  

_________________
7/30/25

i don't like the notion of ignorant loving white people thinking that i am an angry annoying white supremacist type, because of how i constantly refer negatively to some blacks and a mexican.  this is an unusual situation.  i understand if you think that maybe i don't know what i am communicating about.  if ignorant people were sensing what me and the 144,000 have been sensing, since 1998, you would know that i am right.  i am more competent than ignorant people probably think.  i love blacks and mexicans, in general. 

__________
7/30/25
i am reworking the image of the horses in artwerk (- 2).  in the black and white version, there is a pixelation problem when printing.  i think because i applied one art filter over another.  i am going to edit the original in photoshop, and apply only one black and white filter.  
___________
7/30/25

the parents of the black man and mexican girl should turn your kids over to the police, telling the police what you know about your kids.  meaning, what your kids have told you about their vision in their left eye, and the fact that they can act aggressively toward me.  they are insane.  they are evil and sadistic, not caring if they are severely harming innocent people all over the world.  they are panicking, thinking that they won't be able to survive.

____________

7/31/25

the few black people who are being blatantly unnecessarily aggressive, evil, stupid, sadistic, fake, creepy, are a serious problem for america and the world.  they are the problem for black people.  they are choosing to degrade themselves.  this black guy tells black women every day to lie for him, obviously.  they choose to degrade themselves.  they are losers. anti social personality disorders.  they know that i would make a happy place if they left me alone, and they don't want it, because they don't want it to seem like a white person was better than black people. 

7/31/25

i have tried to get people to move on, for years and years.  i have already been loving, sincerely, witnessed. i seriously doubt that they ever will move on.  they are pure evil.  sadistic.  they are lazy.  they want people to know that they like to harm others, emotionally, others who are happier, or who can be happier than they are.  they know that i am innocent.  when i state something like "god damn you niggers.  you know who you are.", i feel confused, and sad, as if there is no possibility to move on, or as if it might be bad for the community, but the truth is that these people were already damned, or condemned.  i have no problem keeping them right where they need to be, in hell.  they will never be forgiven for what they are doing.  they are pure evil and dangerous.  polarized.  satanic.  i have freedom, and it gives me a sense of dignity, publicly, to try to defend myself and the community, in anyway which i can.  i really am sorry or sad when innocent blacks and mexicans get hurt.  i don't go around calling all blacks and mexicans names.  they are implying that they have rights, and that i don't.  ok.  let me demonstrate how i do have rights, nigger and greasy taco.  you two losers are disgusting.  i do have rights.  i do have freedom.  i don't have to stupidly kiss black or mexican ass in america, just because i am white, or because i am a white christ.  even loving people can get angry or call people names.  

i sort of want to delete it, but i won't.



___________________

8/13/25

i am at war.  we are at war.  you are going to have to help me.

_________

8/13/25

some black girls might as well quit trying to work with stupid insane wimp dork evil black man.  you all want everyone to feel threatened by black people.  for black girls, don't flaunt that you childishly conspire with computers and phones, for years and years, and then play dumb later on, when it is convenient for you.  you have been engaged in weird hate since 2008.  you want to have your cake and eat it to.  you are not going to work people with money and class, trying to put me on the negative end of it.  my work speaks for itself. 

____________________

8/14/25

i delete posts from my website, and then i sort of wish that i wouldn't have because there was good information there.  i am intentionally being made sick, every day, day after day.  it is sick childish abusive shit.  i wish that i could be put to sleep at a hospital, officially given some love and respect, publicly.  they want people thinking of this as some kind of weird sick entertainment.  paris hilton is one of them.  people lie about me and money because they have nothing else to do, or because they know that they made themselves look guilty of something.  they are childish and blatant about it, mocking honest people.  they admit to being ugly and childish.  they are trying to have me killed, either in this life, or in my next life, because they don't want the sex/social problem which they have, or which they know that they will have, again.  i hate paris hilton.  cruelty is a part of her astrology, along with cockiness, bossiness, boastfulness, disobedience, thoughtlessness, etc.  i didn't and don't want a long term relationship with her.  she wants a long term relationship with me.  she wanted to create bullshit on the internet, and she succeeded. she is an evil unfriendly greedy creep, along with her parents and stupid unimportant sister.  she is so ugly, childish and cheesy, telling people that bullshit is her game.  black females like it when people think that i am not more confident than they are.  that is how their problem got started.  also, black guy, mexican girl, paris hilton.  these blacks and mexican tell people that they put their own ugly racist smug thug bullshit above people who are kind, honest, regardless of race.  when you put a loving honest christ in the mix, some people who think that they are not like him freak out.  blacks, mexicans, whites, etc.  it doesn't matter.  they panic, thinking that society will divide into a group of people like christ, and a group of people who are not like christ.  they think that they people who aren't like christ won't survive socially, so they try to trick ignorant people into thinking that christ is evil.  weak people attack a defenseless person, because they want to try to make themselves feel powerful.  they don't feel powerful, like paris hilton really doesn't feel powerful.  it is obvious.  she wants to drag me down to her shit "celebrity" level, wanting me to be rated along with her, as if we are the same.  we are not the same, paris.  you and your entire family fuck off.

the black guy and mexican girl are making a mockery of psychiatric medication, for years, being childish and blatant about the fact that i don't need it, or that it is not the issue.  then they want people to think that when i write this, that it allows them to get away with it.  they do the same with other people who are honestly telling people that they are the problem.  these people want people to think that they want to humiliate or try to discredit anyone who acts like they love me, or anyone who acts like they know that i am honest, really because i have to be, lacking privacy in the way which i do.  i have to be honest, but i also always wanted to be honest about everything in my life, because i am proud of who i am.  i am mocked by cheesy very very mean evil cowards who want to hide, and who want others to know that they want to be able to hide.  

i first got involved with the psychiatric team at the veteran's hospital at the end of 1997 because i was telling my mom something unusual, and she didn't know what to do, thinking that i needed to go to the hospital.  i have gotten into so many arguments with my parents because they are ignorant.  i don't need doctors and medication.  i need a little love and respect from people who are brave, acting like they don't care about what people think about them, if they give me love and respect.  it is a sham.  my parents thinks that medication helps, even though it doesn't.  it makes my situation worse or even more confusing or humiliating, publicly.  i am not going to stop taking it, out of respect for my parents.  they might as well be injecting me with water.  it doesn't do a fucking thing, and it is not my mind which is the problem.

i can forget that i hate these black people and mexican quickly, when i interact with kool blacks and mexicans, usually every day when i go out.  i see that people know that i am not a problem, when i go out into the environment.  i am being intentionally confined to weird creepy childish possessive people, like paris hilton. 

______________________

8/18/25

i understand if me going on about paris hilton seems weak, but ignorant people really can't understand how much of a problem she created for me, publicly, it seems intentionally.  like a grey gloomy cloud following me around all of the time.  i am a positive person.

for black girls playing childish unnecessary games with phones and computers, harriet tubman wouldn't have oppressed innocent people who had love in them.

desensitized.  not a game.  i am a human being with feelings.  i have been, and still am being treated in a perverted abusive way, publicly.  how i am mocked is extremely painful.  some people try to fabricate evidence for people to use against me, because they are the ones who are in social trouble.  they imply that there is something to think about, when there isn't.  grow up and move on.  really.

the black man and mexican girl are stating that it doesn't matter if they are evil, because "no one can do anything about it, anyway".  not the government, not the police, nobody.  we can and will do something about it.  nature law.  they are like smug thugs in an interrogation room, who are guilty, being ugly, creepy, cocky with the police, because they think that they police can't prove what they are doing.

some people might make a big unnecessary deal of the fact that george h. w. bush was a republican.  i voted for barack obama, hillary clinton, kamala harris, slyvestor turner.  if i would have been in washington d.c, i might have driven to the white house.  or if i would have been in new york city, i might have driven to the united nations building.  my lack of privacy confused me.

crying out love with a young black girl at a black chuch, after her parents put her hand in mine, in 2010, was one of the most joyful interesting experiences of my entire life.  evil stupid very childish black women mocked me, intentionally, wanting people to know, infected my blood at a care facility in 2011.  i spoke out loud about the thought of being stuck with a dirty needle about 2 days before they did it.  they intended to cause a problem to my digestive system, and there was definitely a horrible problem starting the day they infected me..  i had to have my colon resectioned.  3 major surgeries.  i had to wear a colostomy bag for some time.  they are stupid and ugly.  they were attempting to fabricate evidence about me, implying that i deserved it.  no one would deserve that, and especially not an innocent person.  my mail has been knowingly stolen about 10 times.  there wasn't a reason to assault me, before i went to the church.  not at all.  i tried to create an environment of love and peace, again, and i was mocked, again.  unintelligent black girls are more interested in stupid childish unnecessary entertainment, intentionally emotionally harming a special defenseless white male, publicly.  that is how their trouble got started.  it is a stupid game to them.  their hatred toward white people is weird.  really.  loving white people wouldn't believe what has happened to me.  from an insecure mexican girl, too.  they are blatantly childish and stupid, uncivil.  some evil childish socially lame black women wanted to humiliate me, when i had done nothing wrong. their lack of intelligent and unfriendliness is scary.  attitude problem.

they try to get me to call them names, to try to make it look like i was a mean white person to begin with, trying to make ignorant people feel sorry for them.  no one should feel sorry for them.  some of these black people try to work other people, like thugs sitting in a jail cell.  they don't or can't do anything for themselves, so they try to work it so that someone else will do something for them.  these black people who have intentionally harmed me and others don't care about love. it is like savagery.

i'd rather think of something silly, like 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking juice..."  that doesn't have a special meaning.  just funny.  

i am sick.  i am never relaxed.  i am intentionally made to feel constantly threatened, so that this section of my website looks weird.  my brain is not the problem.  i don't need psychiatric medication, even though i will continue to take it for my parents. 

i'd like to hear them explain why they are doing this to me and other innocent people all over the world, in front of me, not just engaged in coward stupid cheap shots.  they are ugly.

it is not about me calling people names, or implying that people should call people names.  it is about me making the point that it is completely natural for a person, or for christ, to react defensively to verifiable blatantly perverted cruel aggression.  it would be more stupid or unnatural if i didn't react.  some blacks and a mexican tried to imply that a double standard exists.  if someone intentionally assaults me, i can try to defend myself anyway which i can.  this has been years and years of ugly perverted abusive treatment.  i meant to hurt them back.  no way that i can just ignore it anymore.  some black girls are, or were working with the black man who can assault us.  go away.  you are stupid fake and ugly. 

supporting argument.  jesus can punch someone in the face if he is being knowingly wrongfully assaulted, publicly.  jesus doesn't have to be unnecessarily afraid, or stupidly submissive.  name calling is a defense, but also meant to do harm, or weaken.  also a sense of dignity, publicly.

people who stupidly intentionally cause problems for the community make it all about their childishness and insecurity, and we are all sick of it.  get with the program.  i have to follow christ, too.