IMPORTANT 1
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For those people who have not already been made aware of this, independently of this website, I am in a constant 24/7 activity with a small group of people (144,000) who are situated all over the world. I don't understand it exactly, but it is related to the design and creation of the great pyramid of Gizeh. Look at link (144,000) in the 'for your information' section of this website. In other words, our central nervous systems are somehow fused. They can sense that i am typing at this moment, even though they are situated in different places all over the world. They could also sense that I was drinking a cup of coffee, if I was doing that right now. I am not currently in activity with 144,000 people. Some have died from old age. Some I am not in activity with yet. Apparently, some of these people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with were sensing me as a fetus, when i was still in my mother's womb. I think that i am joined with these other people because of something relating to the sun, other stars (most notably the constellation of Orion), the design of the great pyramid, and electromagnetism. It means that what is happening in our minds, or central nervous systems, also exists somewhere else, in order for the fusion to be taking place in the manner which it is. I believe that the water in our systems acts as a conductor. I believe that the same was true of Jesus of Nazareth; meaning, that this same connectivity with others is what actually distinguished him from other people. Read in the 'for your information' section about 144 and 72, or the story of Jesus and the 72 in the book of Luke. Also the story of Horus battling Set (Sat-an) and 72 conspirators in Egyptian mythos. I am not stating that Jesus of Nazareth and the Egyptian Set (Sat-an) are the same being. 72 is 1/2 of 144, with there being 1440 minutes in one day. The story of Jesus of Nazareth in the bible is mostly allegorical, although he was a real person in real history. The constant 24/7 activity can be, at times, maddening, for both me and the people who are sensing me. I believe that the 144,000 is some type of star seed. Constellation of Orion, astrology, 12 x 12 x 1000. Look at links below. Star seed is not necessarily "positive". I was 24 years old (1997), when it first became evident to me that I was, or am, in this unique, constant 24/7 activity with people. I am not schizophrenic. Then, in February of 1998, I started to sense an intelligent being communicating to me, with the use of physical contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which meant that this being began to sense me first. It is a form of non verbal communication. This happened, in a way, exactly as it was predicted by something known as the Ussher chronology. Beginning of 1000 years (6000 years = 4004 BC to 1996 AD). Look at links in the 'for your information' section of this website. It also means that other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with can sense, or were also sensing this intelligent being. It was extremely confusing at first. Madness. Isolation from the community. Hopelessness mixed with confused faith. 13 years later, in May of 2011, I started to sense another intelligent being communicating with me, with the same type of physical contractions of my muscle and soft tissue. It was, and still is, easily differentiated by me, and also the entire worldwide group who are sensing it, from the communication from the first intelligent being. It was, or is, fainter and more frequent. A totally different person, with a totally different personality. Non verbal communication. Both of these beings wanted, or want, to make it apparent to me, and anyone else who they thought was sensing me, because of the type and timing of the physical contraction communication which they can generate, that they had my vision, or that they could see what i could see. It was, or is, sensed as a person who is sort of child like, who is in a type of shock, or stupor, and finding it fascinating. Like they are children watching cartoons on television. It is very easy to understand, through sensation or non verbal communication, that the first intelligent being which myself and the rest of the group began sensing was, or is, male. It is very easy to understand, through sensation or non verbal communication, that the second intelligent being which myself and the group began to sense was, or is, female. They are human, just like I am human. I know without a doubt that the female is Hispanic, now (in the year 2022) about 30 years old, probably still living in Houston, Texas. I have seen her about 6 times in different places in the Houston area, because she wanted me and the rest of the group to know that it was her, wanting me to talk about her, or that she was responsible for creating the sensations, in a way childishly showing off. She used to have a white SUV and restricted phone number in the year 2011. Height is probably about 5 feet or 4 feet 10 inches. Medium size breasts. Full figured. She had long brown or light brown hair. I believe that she lives inside of the Houston 610 loop area, or that her parents live inside of the Houston 610 loop area. I believe that this is true, because she was able to get to locations within the Houston 610 loop area, where I was, quickly, already knowing that I would be at the same location. She has an unusual issue with her left eye, which I have seen, which I believe is the eye which acquired my vision, being at the beginning of the fusion of our central nervous systems, right around the last week of may of 2011. I believe that she has a brother who owns, or who used to own a Dodge Charger. I saw this car when I dropped off paperwork at the downtown Houston police station, wanting to be respectful of her, trying to establish rights for both of us. I also saw the person who I think is her brother together with her at the Houston Veteran's Administration hospital, when I went there one time. She wanted me and other people to know that it was her. I know without a doubt that she is lying about this situation to her family. I can reasonably assume that the male being who can also create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which other members of the group (144,000) can sense, who also indicated that he has my vision, also has an unusual issue with his left eye. Meaning, the eye which acquired my vision in February of 1998. It took me 13 years (1998 - 2011) to be able to understand that this male being is an African American, and also that he is ignorant, not possessing extraordinary knowledge concerning me, or this situation, which I thought that he had prior to 2011.
I think that the black man who I am referring to might live in New Jersey. He likes to be a stupid smart ass, thinking that I won't understand what he is communicating, or wanting to think about how he is slick, when he really isn't.
I believe that these 2 people were characterized, or defined, as Set (Sat-an) and Nephthys in Egyptian mythos, in the past. I believe that I was characterized, or defined, as Horus (Christ) in Egyptian mythos, in the past. Look at links in the 'for your information' section of this website. I also believe that the male was characterized as Beelzebub during the time of Jesus of Nazareth.
After having enough experience, having been situated together with these 2 people for some time already, as stated, I can list some of their characteristics.
They are like people who are a type of mentally retarded. Constant stupor. Psychopathic. Sociopathic. Narcissistic. Childish. Evil. It flaunts being evil, seeming to try to recruit evil people. Hate. Anger. Envy. Jealousy. Greed. Problem with ego, or perhaps super ego. Negative. Angry. Sadistic. Nervous. Insecure. Creepy. It flaunts thinking that it is creepy. Attempts to intimidate. Vicious. Insane. Predatorial. Deceit. Perverted.
Even evil people wouldn't want anything to do with these beings. They have a mental problem.
Because they are naturally, or understandably, insecure about what people think about them, namely because of their unusual issue with their left eye, they embarrass and anger easily, ultimately having betrayed the community, desperately trying to make it seem like I was evil, or that people should think of me as evil, when I am not evil, and when they knew, or know, that I am not evil. They also childishly and sloppily imply that they have some authority which they don't think that they have, wanting to make a mockery of what would actually be considered responsible behavior, it seems because of panic, or greed, or not understanding how they should fit in with society. They seemed to want to try and associate in a cooperative way, when the activity with them first started. As time went on, they seemed confused about how to survive, socially, and long term, thinking that they had embarrassed themselves by having been unnecessarily aggressive.
They both seem to want ignorant people to believe, acting out in a childish, blatantly fake, confused, ignorant manner, that the eye above the pyramid on the dollar bill represents them, or that they have authority which they actually don't have. It is related, but the eye on the dollar bill seems to be the opposite of what they are. God is a loving God. They are not loving, and not only that, they are trying to make people think that God is not a loving God. They are also trying to fool people into thinking that i am not loving.
I have tried to help them. They should communicate to the public, or me, with actual words and conclusive statements, instead of trying to stupidly and wrongfully hustle their way into happiness, social success, power, or survival. There would be a commitment to cooperation which they would benefit from. They wanted, or want, to show off and play childish games. It got, or gets them intro social trouble. It seems like their minds never develop properly, in any incarnation of theirs, because they have my vision, and are constantly distracted by, or interested in what I am doing. They are not doing work like other people ordinarily do work, by not communicating with intelligent statements, which are easily understandable and conclusive. It got them into social trouble, or didn't, or doesn't, allow them to make a type of normal social progression. They seem to be implying that they are supposed to get unusual special treatment, or be worshipped because they are unusual, but they are lazy, childish and are constantly attempt to deceive, like someone who is criminally insane. They are disabled, and are trying to obtain something for themselves in an unethical, rude, bully style way. They seem to live in a fantasy world, fanaticizing about having happiness and power, but are unwilling to try to do work like people ordinarily do work, communicating using intelligent, conclusive, easily understandable statements, in order to achieve this happiness. They have a confused identity problem, seeming to want to settle for being different, and a foe, not wanting to try to make a more normal social progression on earth.
They seem to have an unusual need to feel loved, or respected, or accepted, or recognized. They have an unusual psychological problem, just as a few other people who i am constant 24/7 activity (144,000) with have proven themselves to have. These 2 people are trying to secure something for themselves, using their ability to create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which other people in the group (144,000) can sense, as a type of weapon. It is an attempt to subdue or incapacitate me, and other people, so that these 2 beings do not have to work as hard, or compete with others, as people ordinarily have to compete, or cooperate, with others. It seems as if they are doing this, really for the future incarnations which they think that they will have, not wanting me, or others worldwide, to achieve the potential in this life, because they think that it will make it better for themselves if I was considered unpopular. I think an attempt to have me murdered, in this life, or in future lives. They want to create frivolous gossip which they think will benefit them in making me seem unpopular. It seems as if they are both confused and angry, trying to create gossip which they think will help their chances of survival. They have a strange pride problem, or ego problem, like someone who feels special, but inferior, and is in a type of panic, then doing something irrational for attention. It is an angry, childish attitude, like "oh yeah, well i am somebody too!", or, "oh yeah, well i am going to show you who i am!" They think that i am special, or unique, so they have a confused desire to feel special, or unique, too.
i think that these creatures might have been a problem during Jesus Christ's time here on earth, or a distraction for him, but that it was not so bad that people communicated at length about it. I have thought that the biblical character Beelzebub was, or is, a way to refer to them, or at least the male. There were more opportunities for problems to arise in this incarnation of ours because of technology.
I have told both of them that it is better if we work together, and that they are creating a lose-lose situation for themselves and the community. It seems as if they both want, unrealistically, to be thought of as like stars, or celebrities. As I stated, they have a unusual ego problem. I have told them they they would have love and happiness in their lives if they didn't try to unnecessarily overshadow me, or other people as well. As time goes on, it doesn't seem as if they care about being loved anymore. They are confused about what people think about them.
I think that these 2 beings have something to do with the moon. I have read that scientists think that there used to be 2 moons. They have mental problems. It seems like their ability to create the contractions in my muscle and soft tissue relates to an electric charge, or a positive/negative charge, or electromagnetism. We don't feel electric shock, though. I have thought that maybe it has something to do with the moon (grey aliens?/I read that they don't have a soul), or reptilian entities which I have read about, or something about Alpha Draconis (constellation of Draco/Draconian/star corresponding to northern side of great pyramid).
I wish that scientists and other people would be informed about what is going on by people who who i am in constant 24/7 activity (144,000) with, who could prove that the constant 24/7 activity is real. They would have to include me and perform a test, publicly certified with television cameras and the police. They could put us in different rooms of a building, say something to me, with me being in one room of the building, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know what it was. Someone could touch me somewhere on my body not inappropriate, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know where on my body it was. Give me something to eat, and the other people in the other rooms of the building would know what it was. It could be certified by the police. Television cameras were invented only 70 years ago. The eye (like a camera) connects everything, or allows for information to be gathered and processed. You could use it as an important tool like a microscope. For example, people who don't live in Egypt wouldn't know what the pyramids looked like, unless there were photographs of them. They couldn't understand it, or begin to understand it, or conceptualize it, or appreciate it. The use of a television camera to observe myself connected to the 144,000 would be like looking at a cell, through a powerful microscope. Objectivity. Science, and not religion. I think that it would be good for scientists, politicians, and future politicians to understand, because this constant 24/7 activity which I am in with others applies to people all over the world, not racially or territorially discriminatory. World mind. World consciousness. I think that it will get spiritually messy in the future, or in everyone's future incarnations, if you don't make a story about me now, while you can, in the way that you could. Don't take our current peace or social order for granted. I have a few ideas about how to secure it. One is that if it were acknowledged by the government, it would be respected, but also as a way of making it seem unimportant. I could do something unusual every morning when i get out of bed, which only people who i am in activity would know about. There is a chance of an information leak, I think for people who would try to get social security disability money, when they are not mentally sick, or disabled, or in constant 24/7 activity with me. Another thought is that there would be an agreement that the 144,000, after being officially recognized, do not speak about me, or themselves, in public. If someone who wasn't a person who i am in activity with would try to convince people that they were a person who i was in activity with, no one would believe them, or pay attention to what they had to communicate.
I think that at a minimum, the police, or FBI, who i believe already know about this public situation, should come to my home, stating to me (in front of everyone) that they know about it, and have made a public statement about it. There needs to be more social order, or more confidence vested in what is happening. apparently, It happens all of the time, or in cycles.
God bless, and Peace be with you.
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some of the above information seems like i am dragging it on, or becoming too emotional about it, but that is because i am confused and sick, wanting the 2 beings who are acting aggressively to be real and cooperative.
also, i usually write in all lower case, or am informal. i also like the uniform aspect of all lower case.
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i am being made intentionally sick and confused by this creature (i am referring to it as one thing, but it is 2 different people) all day long, every day. it has compounded. it has been going on for years. my mind can not function properly. i feel constantly threatened, publicly. nobody's mind could function OR DEVELOP properly. it is weird, childish sadism. they are also evil or criminally insane. please help if you can. try to help. i am not crazy. part of the reason that it is doing this to me is to make it seem like i am crazy, trying to cover up the fact that people know that they are the problem. another reason is that it wants to make me seem weird and unlikeable. it is because it thinks that people think that it is weird and unlikeable. it thinks that it can't survive. it is so different than what people normally are, like an animal or completely different species, so that it doesn't try to work with people, as people ordinarily work with one another.
basically, i am saying "take this job and shove it." don't expect me to do something positive for the public when you don't act like you care about at least trying to protect me from weirdos who are out there. they are childish and sadistic. they want people to know that they get a creepy thrill from stalking me and everyone else, including the police and government.
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here is a houston,texas police report which i created on 12/01/2016.
the incident number is: 1528227-16
the officer's name: E. Estep
unit #: 20G52N
officer Estep works out of the houston west side command station. i would like to create another report, or add to the existing report. i think that people could think that they have a better chance of getting away with murdering me if there is already an existing report. go figure. the report is filed under some mental health category which shouldn't be filed under mental health.
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i have already deleted negative tone information about half a dozen times in the past 2 or 3 years from my website, trying to fight, then not liking what i think that it is doing to the community, trying to fight, then not liking what i think that it is doing to the community, etc. the issue is that i am defenseless, trying to defene myself and others, and that there are weird, childish, very mean people out there. some people feel humiliated by their own personal situations, so they want to humiliate me. they should stop. i have been confused about what to do. i want to stop bad things from spreading, but i don't want a negative, confusing tone or confusing thoughts to dominate the community. a few people who are are really not nice or honest, who caused a social problem for themselves, didn't anticipate in the past that i would ever be communicating online, defending myself and the community. then they started to harass me so badly, weird, evil, childish cruelty, in order to try to get me to defend myself and the community even more online, in order to try and make it seem like i am a weird, uptight jerk, or a liar, when i am actually not. my computer work worked against them, publicly, so they tried to make it work against me, publicly. they are evil. it will be difficult to not fight back if they continue to do what they have been doing, since i lack privacy in the way which i do, since it affects my feelings, publicly. very difficult or impossible to ignore. they probably will continue. it is completely natural to feel the need to fight back against this type of aggression, since it affects your feelings, publicly, and permanently. you fight back to try to bring a feeling of dignity and peace into your life, like someone who is being raped or violated. they understand this, so they think that they have an opportunity to make me look weird, crazy or evil on the internet, with them trying to cover up the fact that they are the problem. or trying to fabricate a reason to be harming me, obstructing my life and the lives of others. the people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are weird, childish, evil psychopaths/sociopaths. it shouldn't come as a surprise that a person in my situation is being stalked, harassed, violated, in public.
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i really don't feel like there is a need to communicate anything more about george h. w. bush, northern trust bank, paris hilton, or thule.org. one reason is that i have already honestly communicated about these issues, more than once. the other reason is that i am not evil, with people knowing that. i am not mean, either. i'll probably be harmed and mocked even more if i do communicate about these issues again. it gives childish, evil, fake, mean spirited, socially lame people something to lie about, and to try to spread hate about. they do it because they got themselves into social trouble. they want ignorant people to think that because i seem defensive about something, that it means that i am guilty of something, or that there is something more interesting or more important about it than there is. no. it is like cheesy, fake, lame tabloid shit. it isn't important. ok, here is something.
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needed to add it. important.
george h. w. bush stated "1000 points of light", which was unusual and is related to christ. it confused me back in the past when i thought that everything had some special meaning, like a child would think, making me think that maybe i was going to have some official public support if i accomplished something significant for scientists. my lack of privacy confused me. the thought about doing something good for scientists or the public was despite me having a drug problem at the same time. i thought that what i was going to figure out for scientists was so important that it didn't matter if i was using speed. i had a weird mental problem because of my unique situation, combined with a weird drug problem. i was addicted to methamphetamine, with it making me think that the future could be unrealistically positive or happy for me and everyone else. i didn't want to think that God would put me here to create something weird and confusing for the community, knowing that i lacked privacy. this was when i was younger and had less confidence, or when i was more confused after i first started out. i also thought that skull and bones was more important than it is, or was, like a part of a network of people all over the world who knew that i was going to create something positive, also because of experiences which i had, and was still having with the supernatural, mostly this black man acting aggressively toward me. i didn't believe that God would use me as a way of creating something bad or confused for the community, so my mind wanted to believe in something which was unrealistically positive, like an inexperienced child would. in 2002, i was nervous and confused, feeling isolated, hoping that i could do something good and be happy, and i thought that i would write a letter to george h. w. bush, to try to figure out if i was thinking the correct thing, that i was supposed to work on something related to the weather, and also if he seemed like he was acting supportive. the letter was brief, and would have seemed like i wasn't really making a real point. i remember mentioning "1000 points of light", and also something about geomagnetism, thinking that geomagnetic reversals were important, mostly because of a book "fingerprints of the gods", by graham hancock. i became nervous or awkward while i was working on the letter, thinking that maybe i shouldn't be writing the letter to bush while i was high on methamphetamine, thinking that it was disrespectful or inappropriate. at that moment, the black man gave me what felt like, and i think that other people who sensed it would agree with me, a loving, comforting nudge, like "everything is ok", like he was wanting me and the people who he knew were sensing it to think that everything was ok, and that i was not doing something bad in the letter. i didn't know that it was an ignorant black man who was acting aggressively, thinking that he was someone who had special knowledge about the future and who worked for some kind of super government, i thought that maybe george h. w. bush had connections with people everywhere, and that there was a special prophesized understanding of me doing something positive for the community, because my mind couldn't rationalize the situation any other way. i thought that it meant that i was correct for thinking that everything that i was thinking about working a type of miracle was accurate, and that it was prophesized. i didn't want to think that i was supposed to create a mess, with me feeling confused, sad and isolated all of the time, with me knowing that i lacked privacy. i would have stayed way, way, far away from george h. w. bush if this black guy had not have acted aggressively in the way which he did at that moment. i would have been scared of george h. w. bush, thinking that some supposed, imaginary government faction was working in opposition to me. it seemed like the black guy was telling everyone that it was ok, and that there was nothing bad in my letter to bush, since i became nervous or felt awkward in the way which i did. i used to think that maybe i was supposed to unite 2 opposing factions in government, like some "scorpion king" did back in egypt (i don't mean the movie), uniting upper (southern) and lower (northern) egypt. i believed or wanted to believe that i was going to figure out something important for scientists, and that i would have support, or love, or happiness in my life. i didn't want to think that God was cruel. i was young and naive, and also confused, nervous, and i had a very weird drug problem. amphetamine is used to treat sadness or depression. it caused me to have unrealistic, positive hopes and thoughts about the world's future, everyone, with an interest in geomagnetism or the weather, thinking that i was, or that maybe i was supposed to work a miracle, not thinking that God would want to use me as a way of creating something weird and confusing for everyone. the situation was also confused with me thinking that maybe i really didn't have any responsibility, or that what i was doing really didn't matter, because i was not officially together with anyone who was indicating that they knew about me. i wouldn't expect me to accomplish anything really good for the community, if no one who was indicating that they knew who i was, socialized with me, being friendly, publicly, giving me or other people an opportunity to shine. don't be surprised if you create a weird confused freak. i thought that george h. w. bush was part of some kind of imaginary hocus pocus, abracadabra world organization, which was about "prophecy", which knew something about me, which was about benevolence or charity, even though i had a drug problem. pat of the issue was that i knew that i had a problem, and that i was trying to justify my use of speed. i am sure that many people have thought all kinds of crazy, untrue crap about the bush family, and skull and bones, and that the bush family would agree with me. i thought that the fact that bush lived in houston was a sign, because i also live in houston. i was young and naive, like a child. i apologize to the bush family about any confusion this may cause them. people who know me well probably thought that my old drug problem was weird, funny and sad.
as far as northern trust bank goes, i wasn't interested in banks or banking, not at all, and i did nothing unethical. i didn't drive to a bank. i wasn't thinking of a bank or banks. i saw a sign for northern trust bank in the elevator at george h. w. bush' office. i drove to george h. w. bush's office in 2005 to drop off some sentimental items, i think mostly because i just wanted to see what his office looked like, but also because i felt awkward in public, wanting to feel secure, knowing that i had a weird drug problem, wanting to feel as if i could be liked or accepted, probably also protected, even though i knew that people knew that i had a weird drug problem, thinking that maybe i was a part of some kind of network of people who did unique work for the world. i used to think about being able to have a cool job, being able to help everyone in a unique way. i wanted to think that i wouldn't always be isolated, confused and sad, and that i could be around people at a job. weird mental problem because of what this black guy had been doing to me for years, being aggressive in a weird way, plus other experiences, combined with a weird drug problem, methamphetamine. i used to feel and think that i could not do anything without speed. i still have meth using fantasies, but i would definitely never use again. it would make me feel awkward and uncomfortable in public. i did some studying for several years. in 2006, when i was in a car as a passenger, going to get vietnamese food, just happening to be driving by a northern trust bank location on bering drive in houston, texas, this black man's reaction (aggression toward me) to the driver (nothing unethical) stating something about northern trust bank and a minimum investment of 5 million dollars caused me to react to the black man's reaction. i think that the black man was wanting me to understand some point about 50 (messiah) or 5 (5 + 0), or me not having a special involvement with george h. w. bush, but i misunderstood what he meant by it. i thought that i was being told by this black man, who i didn't know was an ignorant black man, that northern trust bank was something good for the world, for everyone, and that i was supposed to be involved in it. i became excited about it, but didn't understand exactly how it would work, thinking at the time that i should just keep it to myself and have faith. he knew immediately that he confused me, and then made a sick, childish, disrespectful joke about it, with me not understanding what he was doing at the time, like he just gave up on himself. after he knew that i thought that it meant that northern trust bank was something special for everyone, and antarctica, he referred to the south, or antarctica, after he knew that he confused me, wanting to intentionally confuse me even more. he was being an irresponsible smart ass about how the south or antarctica was the opposite direction of george bush's office in the north, knowing that i wouldn't understand. now i do understand. i didn't understand that he was an ignorant black man. i thought that he was something with special knowledge about me and the future. i am glad that i communicated about northern trust bank eventually, because it was causing me to act weird, publicly, with me thinking that i had to keep it to myself, stuck in an awkward situation. i didn't want to communicate it at first, because i didn't think that i was supposed to, and also because i didn't have all of the answers. people would have probably gone "so what is this?! and what is that?! what are you?! and who is that?!" there is absolutely no need for panic. i know what i am communicating about, when i communicate about this person who i now know is an ignorant black man, i have 26 years experience. i thought that the meaning was that many wealthy people were going to invest at northern trust bank, which would generate money or interest or whatever you would call it, so that all banks, or so that all people would benefit. i believed, or wanted to believe, that antarctica, because i was young and naive, and because of what this black man did to me, was going to be a good place to be, something which would bridge this period of development with the next period of development, because of an ice age. then i tried to protect people from the bank a few years later after i thought that something about it didn't seem right. there is proof with a black woman who used to work at a northern trust bank location on kirby drive, houston, texas (beginning of 2011). i took her a letter which i had typed and mailed to the northern trust legal department in chicago in 2010 or 2011. i explained in the letter that private information was made public, thinking that my house had been broken into. i don't think anymore that my house was broken into. i am glad that i communicated about northern trust eventually. i was feeling weird about it for 3 years (2006 to 2009). northern trust bank is not involved in anything shady, there is no reason for alarm. it was just a misunderstanding. it wasn't my initial thought or idea; meaning, i had no interest in banks, banking or business. this black man knew that he had confused me, and didn't or doesn't want to take responsibility for it, lying with black women about my character because they have embarrassed themselves. i thought that everything which i was doing had some special meaning which it didn't. i had started to write a screenplay, and i thought that i was supposed to share information about northern trust bank with johnny depp, thinking that it was my duty. i have not been interested in writing a screenplay since 2013. i shredded all of the work. i sent 84 pages of work to the viper room in 2010. it was a start, and i was going to go back over the dialogue. i was happy with the scene by scene structure, being one scene away from the first 1/3rd of the movie. i didn't communicate in the letter to johnny depp that i received unusual communication from this black man, or anything about antarctica. i just stated that i saw a sign for northern trust bank in the elevator at george h. w. bush's office when i went there in 2005, which is true. me seeing the sign for northern trust bank in the elevator is what the black man was referring to in 2006 when we drove by a northern trust bank location because he has my vision in his left eye. he mixed the bank with george h. w. bush's office, which confused me. i was implying to johnny depp that maybe it was a reputable or good bank, but i thought that people had to determine that on their own. i stated "i am not intentionally steering you in that direction, but you might want to check it out" or "i am not trying to intentionally steer you in that direction, but you might want to check it out". i don't think that johnny depp ever got my mail, because i sent it to the viper room, not knowing that he didn't work there anymore. people talk stupid crap about me, lying, stating that i did something unethical when i didn't do anything unethical. they insult me, trying to make it seem like i was trying to hustle my way into hollywood when i i wasn't doing that at all. my writing work was a completely separate issue. again, i thought that it was my duty to communicate something about northern trust bank to johnny depp, and that it was part of a bigger God plan for the world. i had the best of intentions and the black man was part of the issue. the black man confused me, but it doesn't matter, because i am not evil. this black man lies, stating that i reacted to the information about northern trust and 5 million dollars before he did. i didn't. he reacted to it, which caused me to react to him. i know that he lies because he has attacked me and people who he knows will defend me like a weird, crazy, insecure, evil, sadistic pig, wanting us to know that he was lying about the situation, making a smart ass, ugly, sick joke of it. he did or does this in order to try to humiliate people who rightfully criticize him. he is an insecure black man.
i wasn't wanting paris hilton to give me money. i liked, and still like to earn my own money. i got stuck in an unusual, awkward, confusing public situation in a grocery store in 2008, thinking that a white woman who was standing behind me in the checkout line one night was giving me a dumb look, wanting to insult me and hilton, wanting to take away my pride, so i reacted to this in a defensive, confused way, and did nothing wrong, with people knowing that i did nothing wrong. i had pride in my own work and own money which i was earning. now i think that the white woman was only flirting a little bit with me. i just misunderstood what was happening all around me at the time. i reacted to the look she had on her face, and then needed to take change out of the change dish in the grocery store, needing to pull the change toward me, thinking of my own jobs, my own money, my own pride, but mixed with a thought about hilton and i having worth or value together, since i thought that the woman was insulting us, and it got all confused. i pulled the change out of the metal change dish slightly more aggressively than normal, but you wouldn't have known that unless you were sensing it. it was confused for 1 or 2 seconds, because the more i thought that i wasn't a problem with money, the more it would seem as if there was a problem, when there wasn't, so my mind reacted by being more aggressive, not wanting to take it out slowly, as if there was a problem or as if i had been thinking of doing something wrong. it confused me because i am not a money problem, so i talked about it when i got back to my apartment about 10 minutes later. then the next day this weird, childish, creepy, fake, evil, sadistic, stupid, ugly attitude black women who i am in activity with assaulted me, non verbal/verbal communication, at the same store, knowing that i did nothing wrong, knowing that other people knew that i did nothing wrong, wanting to try to separate me from being loved and earning money. she wanted to humiliate me, weird cruelty in public, knowing that i did nothing wrong, and that it was just an unusual situation. i called her a name. she deserved to be called a name. i was trying to be funny about it. i also apologized to innocent black women, with me thinking that they got their feelings hurt. then unfortunately, a bunch of black women turned fake, childish, mean and evil, pretending as if they thought that i was the problem because they were confused, or because that one black woman had embarrassed them. they should move on with their lives. the irony is that i have had so much trouble with trouble with females, since 2008, because i was wanting to lift the spirit of a female, hilton, being loving, having written to her when she was in jail in 2007. i felt sorry for her, seeing a photograph of her crying in the back of a police car.
paris hilton should not have been playing unnecessary, childish, cryptic games with me, or other people, having sent me several things back through the mail, cryptic junk, wanting to toy with me in public, wanting attention, knowing that i lack privacy in the way which i do. also, weird, childish, cryptic phone calls from her, toying with me and everyone else, with her wanting attention. she didn't conclude it in a respectful, civil way, acting as if she cared about trying to create long term order for the community. she was more interested in childishly, greedily entertaining herself (and probably her sister). it seems like she wanted to harm my reputation if i was not promoting her, like she has trouble promoting herself. she preyed on me, publicly. she wanted to see if she could use me, and so she tried to, and she thought that it started to work, but then it didn't work for her, because she was only playing cheesy, childish games in public, and not communicating anything substantial or conclusive with the use of words. she has done so much unnecessary harm to so many people, all over the world, creating so much unnecessary confusion and tension, like the way i feel at this moment typing this, playing childish, disrespectful, rich kid games. i wasn't a fan of hers, i was neutral.
as far as thule.org goes, i didn't have an interest in, nor was i, or am i, an advocate of white supremacy. i don't believe in it and i never would believe in it. in fact, i tried to protect black people in 1997, when i inadvertently learned something about antarctica and the third reich, back in 1997, thinking that i was going to be murdered, right before i was checked into the psychiatric ward at the houston michael debakey va hospital for the first time. i have knowingly tried to help black or colored people at other times, too. the person who shared information with me, an internet file about antarctica and the third reich, wasn't looking for something about white supremacy, either. i think that you can find the same file by searching 'omega file' on the internet. i haven't read all of it, and i am not telling other people that they should read all of it. people knew about this information back around 2002 or 2003, but some of them will probably now play dumb, lying about my heart or character. thule can simply be the name of a hyperborea. planet earth would be a thule. so would another inhabitable planet somewhere else. i shared information about thule.org to the public, in the past, and anyone could have contacted the person there. i was, and am still not hiding anything. all i wanted to do was to try to help people, everyone, so i thought that maybe i was supposed to be involved in, or know about something (thule) which would enable me to be able to do this. people knew this, but after they embarrassed themselves, starting in 2008, they went back into my past, being fake and socially lame, trying to make it seem like i didn't have a good heart or that i was a mean white supremacist when i am definitely not. i believe that the guy who i used to email at thule.org was trying to help people, but i didn't know him that well. the person who shared information with me about antarctica and the third reich was actually looking for information about the ark of the covenant. also, antarctica is not a german project anymore. it is an american project, as with operation high jump (1947). i communicated about this many times in the past. it was my hope and thought that it was, or is, diverse. i believe that it is. the irony is that i thought that i was being told that i was involved with antarctica, or that maybe that i was involved is something in antarctica, which i believed or wanted to believe was something positive and diverse, by a black man who i have communicated about, who was trying to motivate me to do something, who i didn't know was an ignorant black man. now i do know that he is an ignorant black man. i also know now that he is an evil, weird, childish, insecure back stabber. they now have documentaries on television about antarctica and the third reich. i wanted to help people, everyone, and i knowingly had a dream about love and diversity, wanting to think that God was a loving God, thinking that it was what america and i were all about, thinking that it was the only thing which made sense, and people knew this because i spoke out loud about it many, many times, trying to understand and explain my situation. i have never communicated with anyone about hating jews or blacks or any type of person who wasn't white, and i wouldn't communicate with anyone who was wanting to communicate with me about doing this. there is good in all races or religions.
i had also given paris hilton my old email address and password, hoping that she would help me print the messages which i had saved from thule.org, thinking that i wanted to try to work some of them into the screenplay which i was working on. i sent her $20 for her time. i never got any printed work, and i never got $20 back. i wasn't doing anything shady. i would have been willing to share my email with everyone. i was excited about working on the screenplay and i was also wanting to establish trust and openness with everyone, since i lack privacy. i didn't think about how it could put put paris hilton in an awkward situation, and i apologize to her for that. i didn't think that it mattered, since i lack privacy all of the time, and since people know what i am doing all of the time, and since people know that i am not evil. i didn't have a computer which was online, or a printer, at the time that i asked hilton to help me. i didn't get into computers and smart phones like everyone else did when they came out. i hardly get any email. i really don't have anyone who i associate with, except now for my girlfriend. i thought that hilton wanted to be closer to me than she did in the past, because of the way which she communicated cryptic, childish crud. i was not telling her to hate blacks or jews or anyone else.
i don't think that it should matter that i communicate anything more about this really old crap. i think that people get all excited because it involves famous people, or a bank. it isn't important and it isn't exciting because i am not evil. full stop. it is boring because i am a guy who must tell the truth all of the time, because he lacks privacy in the way which he does. i have been telling the truth, not wanting to do anything else but tell the truth, since i started to communicate out loud in 2002. i have also never lied when communicating on the internet. i have gone way, way out of my way to always tell the truth, about everything in my life, and people mock me for it. all of this crap isn't important, because i am not evil or dishonest. it can become a way for people to gossip about something, wanting others to think that they are more important or interesting than they are.
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i am very sorry if this information confuses you. i know that everyone is tired of my internet work. i am tired of it, too. sorry that people have to be stuck in the middle of it. i wouldn't have felt the need to communicate about it, if people were not obviously lying about it. i am tired of people harassing and bullying me. evil, weird, childish, blatantly abusive sadism, harassing and bullying everyone else, too. i don't want to think about antarctica or whatever. i want to finish this cup of sleepy time extra tea, and take my dog for a walk, thinking about the microwave dinner which i have, and am blessed to have. people should stop playing games, bringing up my past, when they knew that i was just naive and confused, and that i am not evil, and that i didn't want to hurt anyone. i still don't want to hurt anyone. don't unnecessarily involve me in your social lives. give me a break.
i wish that the government or some authoritative body would put out an official, public statement, which would make it seem like it was ok for me to be accepted, the entire world should know about it. it can have a positive effect. am i supposed to be demonized? why? there are people in jail, or who have been executed for having done much worse things than i have done, or ever would do. also, please don't make a mockery of my honesty. i am not dr. evil. more like mr. rogers, forrest gump, or tom sawyer.
a few people are treating me in such an evil, weird, abusive manner, because they don't want it to seem like i love, or because they don't want me to be loved. they are taunting everyone, implying that they can get away with it. they think that they can't survive socially, so they don't want me to be able to survive socially. they are like people who panic, who would violently steal a loaf of bread from a person who had been waiting in line for a loaf of bread. uncivil. like, while grabbing it from them (weird/crazy/mean) "it ain't yours! it's mine!"
maybe they will figure out that people should openly speak with me next time, being friendly.
basically, i am saying "take this job and shove it." don't expect me to do something positive for the public, when you don't act like you care about at least trying to protect me from very mean weirdos who are out there. they are evil, childish and sadistic.
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ignorant people don't understand how blatantly evil, sadistic and sleazy this mexican girl and black guy are, or whatever they represent. star system? they seem to be some kind of alien in the body of a human on earth. i think that the same is true of other people on earth. i wish that the government would let me know that scientists and the military are working on it. i wouldn't be surprised if scientists and the military already work on it, just not what people ordinarily know about. it is a disgusting creature with a disgusting personality. evil, sadistic and sleazy. it is horrible to be stuck with. you would want to be put to sleep, but you would want it to be a respected, official, public thing, so that the community would benefit. i don't want confusion next time. why would you?
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it is what happens when weird, childish people think that they can get away with stalking a famous person, with them wanting attention. if the government or someone else officially, publicly defended me, then this wouldn't have happened. the people who are bullying me and everyone else assume that no one will ever officially, publicly defend or protect me, so they taunt people. they have personality disorders.
i think that if an official public statement would be made about me, that it would serve to cause the conflict in the middle east to begin to cease. i have already stated this. it would cause jewish folk and arab folk and christian folk to think about what they had in common, christ or a messiah. most people don't know that jesus is a part of the koran, even thought i don't understand it, also thinking that muslims don't understand it, either. making a statement about me being here would cause them and other people to be more open minded and tolerant of each other. it would be the beginning of a new phase. they don't even know why they are fighting anymore. religion, related to holy scripture, can be thought of as outdated, impractical, and an unnecessary cause for conflict. update it. i don't care about what people do, as long as it is not considered illegal in whatever place they live. it is ironic that where there is probably the greatest concentration of diverse religious influence on earth (mid east), related to christ or a messiah, there is also the greatest concentration of conflict. people use the concept of religion as a way to manipulate others because of their own personal greed. they can imply that, because holy scripture is interpretive, that they can choose to interpret it anyway they choose to, and that they still have the authority of God. we should create a new version of religion, or something "religious", which is much easier to understand or interpret.
if people sense weakness in the government, it creates a problem for the government. why should christ be taboo?
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i would like for the police to come to my home and speak with me in front of everyone. it would comfort and assure me. it would be very easy for them to get my address and phone number. i would like to know that they have made a statement to the public about the fact that they know about my situation, and also that people are in agreement that there is a problem, and that there shouldn't be a problem. they need to let me know that they have done this. i think that there is a strong possibility that i will be murdered, probably when i get older with failing health, or possibly sooner. are the police going to look back at my website, after a murder investigation is started, and think "wow, we didn't try to do anything"? or "wow, we didn't try to protect him or anyone else?" i know that the police know about what is going on. it confuses and scares me to think that they won't at least TRY to help. ignorant people really don't understand what type of horrible, horrible gossip is going to come out of this, because of other people's behavior, even if i myself don't communicate on the internet about it. these creatures who are stalking everyone are evil and sadistic. it wants the attention which i get, wanting to use the 144,000, and others, as a form of media. weird psychological problem. like terrorist behavior. some kind of nasty thug, criminal like animal or something mixed with a human. you could try to create a psychological deterrent, publicly. in other words, if the police think that the community would have a problem with a statement being made about me, the community would have to grow up, and face the fact that i am here, and that people are causing a problem, and that i have a right to have a peaceful, happy life, just like everyone else. i don't care if the police think that it will make waves. why would it? i am not after evil money and i don't want to give speeches. i would just like a little respect, and peace, please. people play games when they think that they can pretend as if they don't know about it. like someone pretending as if they don't know that there is work to be done, lollygagging. people can pretend as if they don't have to act like they care.
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i wish that the u.s. government would make the people know that this public situation is being documented
and that it will be studied, for the protection of the world. you can't do any real studying unless people are publicly open about communicating about what is going on. i bet rome tried to sweep it under the rug, too. these 2 creatures, who i have referred to in the 'for your information' section of this website, who are in human bodies, are something WEIRD, evil and very, very mean (sadistic), like what you would see on a show of star trek. this is not a joke. i don't mean to be funny. it should be taken very seriously. this creature (singular, even though we are absolutely sure that it is 2 different people) is attempting to establish psychological dominance on earth, even though i think that it thinks that it can't. it is confused, like an animal, so it is reacting in a confused, violent way, feeling like it is being confined, or trapped, desperately trying to survive. it seems to think that it won't be able to be happy. it is attempting to create negative gossip about me and this situation to last for a long time, so that i will have a lesser chance of survival, now, and in my future incarnations, so that it thinks that it can survive. it isn't smart though, because it won't have any long term power if i am not alive, life after life, because it can't be known unless i am alive. it wants to believe that it is connected to, or has the support of, a dominant evil alien force, when i don't think that it does, and which i don't think it thinks that it does, either. it is bluffing. i am sure about this. people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with know this, too. people should know that the military and police have been informed. everyone should know what is going on, and that no one is trying to keep it a secret because they are confused, insecure or scared.
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the very few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with who are acting up aggressively are trying to fool other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't speak english, into thinking that people who speak english think that i did something really wrong in the past, or that i have an attitude problem, when i didn't, and don't. the people being unnecessarily aggressive have the attitude problem. their intent is to intentionally, constantly irritate me, so that i can't think clearly, or be healthy and popular, publicly. they are doing this because they are unpopular. not only are they evil and childish, they are weird and sadistic. they are trying to make it seem like anyone who defends me is evil, or fake, or should be thought of as unpopular, while at the same time intentionally trying to get people to defend me. it is a scheme which won't work. their own personal, selfish social problems are not above the welfare of the community, in general, and i know that the community thinks the same.
i wish that the united states government would publicly, officially, initiate an investigation into what is going on, because it is in the interest of long term national and/or global security. at least try to get control of the gossip. we don't want long term negative or confusing gossip on earth. everyone should know that everyone knows about this situation, so that there are no surprises or unnecessary bias from ignorant people in the community. if it doesn't seem to people that it should be easily, officially accepted, or celebrated, it can create confused feelings and gossip. what is important are my rights, just like i was any other person on earth. i think that people only want to think of a divine aspect of christ, and not the human aspect. everyone is fully divine and fully human. scientists should be put to work on this matter, in general, so as to study it, and understand how it will continue to work in future incarnations.
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oh well, back to being defenseless.
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it is like i am being raped, violated, with me desperately trying to fight something really horrible off of me and other people, publicly. i also suffer from weird fatigue. the few people who are acting up want to bully me and other people, using this situation as a form of media. i really haven't been able to rest in years. it causes me to act in a weird, unusual manner on the internet. these few people who are acting up are childish and sadistic, wanting to make me sick. they don't want people to think that i am more confident than they are, so they want to invent fake reasons to stalk me and make me unhappy.
can you help? can you get the police or someone to officially, publicly defend me?
i think that when i die, that people will think that there was really nothing wrong with me, and that i was put into a horribly confusing situation.
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i wanted to explain a little more about northern trust bank. this black guy is obviously lying about what happened, also putting pressure on black women to lie about it. he tells them that he will lie for them, if they lie for him. it is a bunch of stupid, unnecessary hate crap toward me because they have embarassed themselves.
refer to the post above about northern trust bank. it is the part after george h. w. bush.
i have already honestly communicated about it, more than once, but i am mocked by a few evil people who got themselves into social trouble by playing games. when i was driving by the northern trust bank in 2006, as a passenger, when the driver of the car mentioned something about northern trust bank, and a minimum deposit of 5 million dollars, the black guy referred to the right, or east side of my body, which i thought meant something about God, or sun, or the world. something positive. i also thought that it had something to do with the shriner's recognition test, which i don't think anymore. the bank was on the left, or west side of the street. he was just telling me to get out of bush's office, or to get away and forget about george h. w. bush, since the sign for northern trust bank was in bush's office. what the black guy did was stupid and irresponsible though, since he knew that he (the black guy) was the main reason why i was in george h. w. bush's office, in 2005, because of the letter which i wrote to bush in 2002, and also that i just wanted to help people, being TRUSTworthy, and that i was just confused, with a bad, really weird drug problem. this black guy made my drug problem worse and worse. he knew that. actually, he thought that it was interesting for me to get him high. the black guy thought that he had created a problem for himself, playing unnecessary games, so he immediately tried to put it off on me. that is what he does. he is a very childish, very insecure black man, with a serious attitude problem. the black guy mixed the bank and george h. w. bush's office together, because there was a sign for northern trust bank in the elevator of george h. w. bush's old office. after he created a mess which he didn't know that he was going to create, causing me to write about northern trust bank to california, he lied and stated that i was thinking something about california, or the west, and that it was the reason he stimulated me on the right side of my body, or the east. he is lying, saying that i was the one who reacted to the driver's statement about a minimum investment of 5 million dollars, when it was his reaction to what the driver stated. it is obvious that he lies, and tells people to lie for him, because of the way which he has attacked me and other people, referring to the west or east. he thinks that he can get away with being evil and fake, because he thinks that he can make up any story he wants to, because he is not communicating with the use of conclusive statements, using words. he implies that he doesn't have to work (communicate), just like other people do, and that he deserves special treatment, like he is some kind of God or something. he is an ignorant, incompetent, weird human. he is not a God.
i know that the majority of black women have stated that they don't like him. so he tries to humiliate them. he also tries to humiliate me, but he doesn't. he implies that black women are not allowed to act like they like me, or that they are not allowed to indicate that they like white men, or that they are not allowed to indicate that they like a white man more than a black man. he is an insecure, weird, creepy, childish black man. i wish that he would get away from everyone. i know that other people do, also.
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it would mean that christ has more needs that an ordinary human, because of the unusual, confusing, awkward situation which he is placed in, publicly. in my next life, i wish that people would let me know early on, like when i am around 10 years old, who i am, and that i have responsibility. kings and queens are groomed. they are also a product of their environment.
i am thinking about this again, thinking that i am contradicting myself, when i am communicating on the one hand that i am not so important, and on the other hand, wanting to be groomed and respected as a king. it is confused, because i don't want people to be able to assault me, getting away with it. make a big deal of this, so that it isn't a big deal. i think that if modern technology were used as a way of informing the public about what i am, that people would lose interest in it, or think that it is not so important, and that is ok, and that they wouldn't cause a problem. think of people thinking of DNA codons. it is interesting at first, but then people don't care so much about it. they just accept it as a part of life.
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it can be a normal social behavior, but i don't like the idea that people don't want to give me power, publicly, because people think that it takes power away from them. that is greed. we should share power.
i don't think that i would be communicating any of this if a few people were not stalking and harassing me, wanting to humiliate me, publicly. i can't do a "good" job if i am not protected.
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why do i state "take this job and shove it"? would people expect the president of the united states to effectively be able to do his job, a public position, if he didn't have security or protection? would people expect a person who works for tv news media, a public position, to be able to go on air, doing a good job, if they didn't have security or protection at the tv station? would people expect famous person in entertainment, a public position, to be able to do a good job, or do deliver a good speech, if they didn't have security or protection at the venue where they were? no, they wouldn't. people would think that they need security and protection from weird, childish, mean people who have mental problems. people are deterred from doing weird, rude, creepy things because they know that there is security or a form of protection for certain people. if some authoritative body at least tried to protect me from weird, childish, socially lame, sadistic stalkers, it would help. the weird, childish, socially lame sadistic stalkers assume that no one will ever officially, publicly protect me. it is a form of weird terrorism. they want childish attention. it is impossible for me to be able to function properly, or do develop properly. this is not some fairy tale about jesus being a happy, loving, peaceful person all of the time. i tried to love people, but some of them don't love back, in fact they want to harm people who are happy. in fact they mock people who are loving. they are miserable, and want to spread misery, not wanting there to be a differentiation between happy, confident people and people who are not happy, and not as confident. i wouldn't care so much about it, if were not being bullied every day, making it impossible to do good work. ignorant people really don't understand what i mean when i state that the people who are acting aggressively are childish and sadistic. like freaks or insane, creepy homeless people, begging for something from other people. it makes me think of the movie "escape from new york", with the people who are called the "crazies", living in the sewer system. they are also like john travolta and the girl who he bullied carrie with in the movie "carrie". it is also like biff in the movie "back to the future". it is also like the bug in the move "men in black".
this is a form of media. some people cause problems like people getting behind the person who is being photographed, making rude signs or whatever, wanting to overshadow the attention that the person on camera is getting.
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why would i want to love, when i don't feel loved, because no one who is indicating that they know who i am comes up to me and says "hi josh. i know about what is going on, and i wanted to say good luck and God bless you"? i don't want to be in a weird, stupid, imaginary relationship with people, which doesn't mean anything. i want to be in real relationships, healthy relationships with people, like my mother or my girlfriend or my dogs. why would i care about being loved, when basically i am in a bad, weird, uncomfortable mood most of the time, in part because no one who is indicating that they know who i am communicates in a friendly way with me, acting like they are trying to encourage me or protect me? like i stated, this is not going to be a fairly tale about jesus loving people and being in a good mood all of the time, no matter how bad he is being blatantly shit on, publicly, by people with weird personality disorders. you are not giving me an official job, publicly.
they are trying to fool ignorant people about what i am like, trying to make it seem like i am crazy or weird or unfriendly. they are crazy, weird and unfriendly.
these people take incredibly childish, incredibly ugly, incredibly stupid, incredibly mean cheap shots at me all day long, every day. like they are making a sick joke about the fact that they know that they are the problem, but also that they have something to lie about. it is a form of torture. this is not a joke. this is not funny. this is not healthy for the world. these people are weird, childish, evil, sadistic freaks. they want people to think that they are humiliating me, when actually they aren't, or won't. they want to humiliate a special person, publicly, because of how they think less about themselves. it can be human nature. this doesn't mean that i am stuck up.
the few people who in am in constant 24/7 activity with, who are acting up, being unnecessarily aggressive every day, are like crazy homeless people. like they are begging for change, or begging for someone to give them something. they created social problems for themselves, isolating themselves.
i know that this situation is difficult for people. hang in there. you will get stronger.
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i am trying to defend myself and the community while basically being defenseless. that is why it looks weird or obnoxious.
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here is a houston, texas police report which i created on 12/01/2016.
the incident number is: 1528227-16
the officer's name: E. Estep
unit #: 20G52N
officer Estep works out of the houston west side command station. i would like to create another report, or add to the existing report. i think that people could think that they have a better chance of getting away with murdering me if there is already an existing report. go figure. the report is filed under some mental health category which shouldn't be filed under mental health.
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i have been blatantly made sick, confused and HEARTBROKEN by a few evil, childish, sadistic people, with personality disorders, who didn't want to feel that i was more liked or loved than they were, publicly. they created a personal social problem for themselves over the years. being with them is like experiencing a dog get jealous or envious when the dog thinks that you are closer to someone else, or paying more attention to someone else. they don't care if people know what they are doing, or that they are evil, childish and sadistic. they just indicate to people that they don't want me or others to have more than they do, or to be more confident than they can be, publicly. these few people who are acting up, being unnecessarily aggressive, are taunting me, other people, the police, the government, etc. it is what happens when a public person is not protected.
no one could take this crap. not christ, not superman, no one. you would fight back, too. just because i am christ doesn't mean that i have to be a stupid ass kisser.
the thule.org issue was confused because of how i initially thought that everything was more important or better than it was because of unique experience with the supernatural. sort of like a child would think about something. i thought that i was being told by God or whatever that i was involved in something which the germans (and/or america?) worked on during world war 2, but that it was positive for everyone. i felt like i was stuck in the middle of something, publicly, so i was trying to make sense of it so that i could feel comfortable. i didn't believe or want to believe that God would use me as a way of creating something negative for myself or anyone else. it is what i believed, but also what i wanted to believe. i was terrified at first, publicly, but after a few years i didn't want to think that i should be scared, or that anyone should be scared. ignorant people don't understand how this black guy, who i didn't know was an ignorant black guy, was confusing me and driving me. i had and still have no interest in harming anyone, or being a white supremacist. i would never believe in it. if there had really been an opportunity for me to really do something wrong, i wouldn't have. it is confused because i wanted to believe that there is a happy ending for everyone, with me having wanted to be happy in public, also wanting to think that there is a good purpose to everything which happens. i wanted to be able to have faith, since i lack privacy in the manner which i do. maybe i am a fool or idiot, but i think that most God loving people would agree that i am not. divine providence. logic. i wouldn't have thought that black people thought that there was a problem because i knew that they already knew that i wasn't a problem because of my life experiences and communication with them for years and years. why would i have not included and loved all people, a diverse group of people, who i knew that i was in constant 24/7 activity with? i didn't do that and i wouldn't have done that. i was including them, giving them love, but then one single black woman at a grocery store in 2008 who was evil, childish and sadistic caused a problem. i was innocent, and she wanted people to know that she never wanted me to feel loved or happy in public. she has a weird personal problem. sociopath. i called her a name (when she deserved it/i was trying to be funny). and it unfortunately confused the entire black community. i apologized to innocent black people.
i am sorry that people have to be stuck in the middle of this. it is old and unimportant. a few evil, fake people are dragging this on because of their own personal social problems which they created for themselves. they stabbed me in the back.
i didn't want to think that i had enemies, not the government (what is the government? aliens?), not blacks, no one, since i knew that i lacked privacy. i didn't think that God would want me to have enemies, or would want me to think that i have enemies, publicly, so that made me think that everything was good, or better than it was or is, or was going to work out in a good way for everyone. it was a child like fairy tale, also thinking that there was more prophecy than there is. i thought about a happy ending for everyone, diversity,
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love is learned, just like hate is.
it is interesting how they made jesus so much, but really because he was shown love and respect at birth, just like any child should be loved and respected. i sincerely tried to lead with love, but i was mocked and made fun of, treated in an evil, weird, childish abusive way by a few people who are not loving, or with them having personal social problems, with them wanting to taunt others. they want to humiliate me, publicly, because they think that i am more than they are. they didn't want me to seem like a loving person because they envy me being liked, or being shown love, publicly. it started with just the few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with. they stabbed me in the back.
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there is pressure on me to do something for the community, even if that is just remaining calm and obeying the law, and i am telling you that it is impossible for me to remain calm, publicly, since i lack privacy in the way which i do, and because of the unique way which i can be, and am, being assaulted. they don't want me to look good or be liked or loved because they don't want it to seem like me or others have more confidence than they do. division of society but i am not trying to create the division. they are trying to get more people on their side of the division. i don't want there to be a division.
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i am not the one with the mental problem. the people who are stalking me and everyone else, including the government, have the mental problem. they are weird. they are like evil children who don't want me to have any friends.
this situation is confusing, because i lack privacy, and because i know that people are communicating about what is going on, a problem. it is a problem even if i don't communicate about it online myself. the natural tendency is to fight back, because it gives you a sense of dignity and peace. you don't understand how evil, childish, creepy, sleazy and sadistic they are. i can't get away from these people. if the government would step in, and do some fighting for me, letting people know that there is evidence or testimony that i am being stalked and harassed, it would help. this situation is like a few kids in middle school acting obnoxious and mean toward the teacher, without any way of enforcing discipline. there is no order. not for the government, either. it goes beyond what would be referred to as obnoxious behavior. it is unusual cruelty. they want to confine people to them and then do something like molestation. that is the tone. like being kidnapped. like weird criminals who you would see a story on tv about. i have a job to do, but i can't do it. i keep trying and trying, but it is impossible because of the way which i am being assaulted, or because of the way which these people can get to me. they want to make me look bad because they envy they way which they know that i would have made people feel if they weren't obstructing. i am a cheerful person by nature. they think that i would be more confident and more popular than they would be if they left me alone, and they don't like it. it is very child like. like an evil child who doesn't want me to have friends. they want people to think that they have an "excuse" to obstruct my life, and the life of others. it doesn't seem like their brains develop properly. no empathy for others. none. it is bizarre and scary. i wish that the government would launch an official public investigation. it is some kind of alien force affecting business on earth. the same was true of jesus and whatever else.
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ordinarily, at a company where people who have something in common work together successfully, there is an application process. people who work successfully together at the same place are first vetted. they have to be humble in order to be able to work in the same place as others. in this situation, people do not necessarily have something in common, or a desire to do honest work. that is why there is a problem. some people want to do honest work and some people don't care about it. i do care about it.
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this black guy and mexican girl are hoping that someone beats me over the head with a rock when i am a child, killing me in my next life. hey. whatever works. that's ok. then they won't have any power.
is there such a thing as separation of church and state? how does one define church? how does one define God?
how about just protection for a united states citizen?
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it is not a matter of my ignoring these constant, all day long assaults. it is a matter of it being impossible to function normally. they don't want you to understand that.
why would i care about being liked, when my thoughts and feelings are being knowingly, publicly violated in the way which they are?
these people are confining me to them. all of this information in this section of my website doesn't mean that i am an angry, mean person. it means that i am trying to defend myself and others, so that there is peace, but when i am defenseless. i am trying to get people to stop with the unnecessary aggression, or to cause them to realize that their stupid lies about me won't work. unfortunately, because they are blatantly fake, they don't care. what these people are doing is unusual cruelty.
*****
i understand if people think that my statement about you not having to like me, or me not having to like you is confusing. it has confused me for a few weeks because deep down i want to feel like i am a big brother, or a younger brother, or like family to the community. i think that some lady was trying to help me, stating something about a "system". i can agree with her, but part of the system involves giving christ love, and not just giving him confusion, or not just getting love for yourself. you would have to make me feel loved, or like i was family. this is the real life situation, not some imaginary, non existent christ in church. i am being shown blatant, weird, abusive, childish hate by some people, publicly, for whatever their personal problem reason is. i am a loving person in general. i think that other people usually are, too. humor is always good. one way to think about it is that there has to be a reason to like or love a person, which you can let them know about. i don't really feel likeable lately because of the way which i am kept in a constantly irritated, aggravated state of being. people are doing this to me intentionally, so that i don't seem like a loving person, because they don't want me to have more love or appreciation than them, publicly. christ can understandably give people a social problem because it can seem as if he is more important or better than they are. it can give them a personal problem. i have thought about not saying "hi" to anyone anymore, because it makes me sad and confused to think that i have tried, or would try, and that something good doesn't come out of it, generally. these people who acting up are evil, childish and sadistic, taunting everyone about how they can get away with it. they want people to know that it excites them to be able to harm people. they want people to know that i am innocent, but also that they have some "excuse" to harm me, or obstruct my happiness. if i was closer to people who were indicating that they knew who i was, there would be more opportunity to communicate and to find something good in common. the statement about people not having to like me and me not having to like them is confused because of this situation. i want to feel as if i am doing something good or loving for people. it helps me cope. no one who indicates that they know who i am communicates to me. it is starving my soul. no self actualization. also, my basic need for peace and security, which everyone needs to be healthy, doesn't exist. i can't reflect on anything really peaceful and happy, because of how i am constantly, intentionally interrupted or made to feel threatened. no one could develop properly that way. it is difficult to think of love when you don't feel loved, or when weird, childish, abusive hate is being directed at you. not being loved means that it can be more difficult to love. usually it is team work. i don't like the thought of people acting like i have to defy the law of physics or something in order to prove that i am who i am. it isn't fair. it isn't realistic. you need to have a better appreciation for the human aspect of christ.
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i sent this message today (about 2 or 3 weeks ago/today is 5/12/24) to the guy who used to be at thule.org. i don't expect him to respond with email. just because i sent an email, doesn't mean that i am involved with thule.org, or wanting to be involved with thule.org.
'hi. it would be helpful for me and the community if the thule.org website was online. it is affects national/international security. it confuses people, and can create unnecessary problems for the community when it isn't online. like it or not, you are involved in a public situation.
respectfully.
josh'
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there was nothing about hating jews, blacks, or anyone else on the thule.org website. i thought that it was interesting trivia, like things which most people don't know about. for example, humans not evolving from apes. or the book of enoch (significance of biblical character enoch [christ?]. many enochs). i wouldn't have communicated with the guy at thule.org if there had been anything about hatred of jews, blacks, or anyone else on his website, or if he had communicated anything to me about hating of people. i was always communicating to people about him, and what i was doing in general. i believed that he wanted to help me and other people, regardless of race or religion, but i didn't know him that well. i am not sure that i would have gotten along with him if i met him in person. i was confused in the past about the importance of everything because of my unique personal experiences with the supernatural. i wanted to help everyone, and thought that maybe i was supposed to learn or be involved, only so that i could have super government or technological power to help everyone. i feel differently about it now than i did in the past. i don't care anymore about researching anything about the thule society or whatever.
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i wanted to include this. part of the reason is because i want to have faith in God. the holocaust is a confusing, sad thing to think of. i hope that some good came out of it, and that those jewish people were not lost.
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why would i have wanted to do anything which was harmful to anyone since i know that i lack privacy, and that i am in constant 24/7 activity with all different types of people? i wouldn't have wanted to harm anyone. i didn't want to harm anyone.
some people are trying to make it look like i am a white supremacist when i am not and when i never would be. i don't believe in it. they try to get me to react defensively, and in anger or understandable frustration, to their ridiculously evil, rude, childish aggression, trying to make it look like i am something which i am not, wanting to combine it with thule, or something "german", or something "aryan", trying to wrongfully defame me. the people who are being unnecessarily aggressive got themselves into social trouble, so they keep trying to make it look like i am something which i am not. they are childish and evil. i never wanted to harm or oppress anyone, and everyone already knew that. they are the oppressors, starting with stupidly attacking me because of the paris hilton incident. i was just trying to help people. i was more naive in the past, thinking that everything was better or more important than it was, sort of child like, because of my unique experiences with the supernatural. if there had ever been anything racist on the website or in communication with the guy at thule.org, i wouldn't have associated with him.
the reason that i researched thule society to begin with was not because of some thought about white supremacy. it was because i was confused in the past because of experiences with the supernatural. one experience was seeing what looked like a 4th of july sparkler tip doing some kind of geometrical pattern in front of me for about 3 or 4 seconds. it was in 1997, right after my old friend (not the guy at thule.org) stated to me "people say that they see strange things around me", right after he walked into a different room of my old apartment. i used to think that my old friend created it, but he didn't. the sparkler thing was a form of nonverbal communication. whatever or whoever created it was sensing what i am sensing, just like the 144,000 can. i already had some of this information on this website, but took it down because i didn't want to make a big deal of myself, or because i didn't want to make it seem like i am more important than anyone else. my old friend gave me the omega file to read about 1 or 2 weeks later. he did not find it by researching anything about white supremacy. i used to think that whoever created the sparkler thing knew about the file which i was going to read, but i don't think that anymore. i used to think that the whole system was much smarter than it is. there was something about the thule society in the file. i thought that reading the file was some kind of prophesized divine revelation, because of the sparker thing, also later combined with communication from the black man, who i didn't know was an ignorant black man, plus other experiences with the supernatural. all of this made me think that i was supposed to be involved in something which the germans (and/or america?) worked on in world war 2 (antarctica), which america now works on, and that the only way it made sense to me is that no one was supposed to be oppressed. my mind didn't want to think of anyone, or any group, as an enemy, thinking of a type of child like happy ending for everyone, including me. i have seen other spark like looking things. one time a green spark like thing appeared on my mother's face as i was talking to her. once the same thing happened on a black girl's face (sheila) when i was communicating with her, i think in 1998. another time a few green spark like things were sort of floating around my other old friend's face while he napped. one time i was talking out loud, and stated the world "friends", and i saw a single bright spark like thing appear in front of me. i thought that i saw a tiny tiny spark like thing when i was giving my dog izzy some love.
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this black man and mexican girl who people know about are desperately trying to fool people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't understand english, trying to make them think that i did something really wrong in the past when i didn't. they have the bad heart. they have the evil intent. they mix stupid, unimportant things together in order to try to make people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who don't understand english, think that something is important, or that i have an attitude problem, when it isn't important, and when i i don't have an attitude problem. they are nervous about their current life and future lives. they also want people to know that they are evil, because they are trying to make people defend me, so that they can say that the people who defend me are evil or fake.
these few evil people out there who are causing problems want people to know what they are doing, like satan whispering into someone's ear "hey, don't try to follow christ, it is too much work, (evil) ha ha ha." really. like some kind of demon character you would see in a movie. they are lazy, evil, childish people who make fun of people who are honest, and who work hard.
these few evil people out there who are stupidly causing problems want ignorant people to look at my website and take bits out of context. it is real simple. i am basically a good person who got put into a very confusing situation. more confusing than ignorant people could imagine. especially in the beginning. some people acted up stupidly and childishly, being mean, getting themselves into social trouble, and then went back into my past, stating that i had some evil intent when they already knew that i didn't. this is concerning the george h. w. bush, northern trust bank, paris hilton and thule.org issues.
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the thule.org guy who i used to correspond with told me to not correspond with him anymore in 2014 or 2015, after i tried to have myself put to sleep at a hospital, writing to many government offices explaining my situation. i included him with the government offices which i wrote to. i thought that it was important to include him because i believe that he joined me with with DARPA monitoring. i communicated with the thule.org guy about half a dozen more times, after he told me not to, not caring if he wrote back, when i thought that it was something important to communicate about. i am not trying to be in a relationship with him. i wish that the thule.org website was still up. i believe that he was trying to help everyone. i didn't get the impression that he discriminated against people simply because of race, ethnicity or religion. if some people were not trying to wrongfully defame me, i wouldn't have communicated about any of this. now that i am older and more knowledgeable, i wouldn't do the same thing again. i didn't understand what was what because of my experiences with the supernatural. also because i wanted to believe that God is a loving God.
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the few people who imply that i am evil or mean are like children who want to play "make believe". it is ridiculous and insulting. grow up.
people don't understand how terrified i was at first. for years i was uncomfortable, nervous and confused. then i thought that maybe it meant that it was a love dream. i guess it is not that either. i don't know. maybe? i know that people are trying, and i appreciate it.
i didn't know what this black guy was in the beginning. i thought that it was some kind of alien government person or entity. it put a great deal of pressure on me, with me thinking that i had to do something fast, not knowing what was what after i read part of that omega file. i wanted to believe that the government or advanced technology was on my side, sort of child like, and that i would be able to use it to be able to help everyone. again, it was a love dream which was unrealistic. i didn't want to feel powerless or lame in public. that didn't seem like something God would want to do to me and the community. the people who are being stupid and aggressive knew that i had love in me. they stabbed me in the back later after they thought that they had made themselves look evil or mean, after the paris hilton incident. they imply that the community has dirt on me when the community really doesn't have dirt on me. i used to be a drug addict. so what? the rest is understandable confusion because of a unique situation. understandable confusion with a good, loving intent.
it is like i am being jacked (robbed) or violated every day at knife point or gun point by creepy childish thugs. ignorant people probably think "why doesn't he move on?" because i can't move on because of the manner which these people can be aggressive toward me, or actually everyone, confining my thoughts to them, confined to creepy, evil people who stalk. they are childish thugs who want to show off, taunting everyone. childish form or anarchy or terrorism. they are a danger to the security of america and the rest of the world, because of how i am in constant 24/7 activity with people who are situated all over the world.
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it would good for me to be officially accused of something, or indicted, so that i could officially defend myself; resolving this matter. go ahead and play cheesy coward gossip games if you want to. if the FBI investigated me, i wouldn't even be a tiny blip on their radar screen.
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it may seem like i am going on about the thule.org stuff too much, or that i am nervous. guess what? i am nervous, but that doesn't mean that i am guilty of hating people or wanting to harm anyone. i am nervous about weird, blatantly evil, childish, sadistic people trying to wrongfully defame me because of their own selfish social problem reasons which they got themselves into. they think that it is fun to make me nervous in public, knowing that i am basically a good person at heart. they are trying to create unnecessary division, which could lead to war or wars in the future, after i am dead. why wouldn't i be nervous? it is going to affect me when i come back next time. i had and have love in me. i had and have a good intent. these people stabbed me and you in the back. it is unbelievable. they knew that i was loving, but since they got themselves into social trouble, having been caught playing childish, mean, selfish social games, they try to deceive you, trying to get me to defend myself on the internet, when i am defenseless, wanting you to take my actions and personality out of context. i defend myself because it seems to be the lesser of 2 problems. it is hard for me to gauge how i need to stop because of how fake people keep acting aggressively, acting like they were victorious when they know they weren't. they are actually sore losers.
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is there such a thing as separation of church and state? how do you define church? how do you define God? how do you define state?
why are presidents sworn in on bibles?
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i want people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who do not understand english, to understand that a very few people in america have intentionally given me a mental problem, by having been disrespectful to me so many times, continually, for such a long period of time, in order to try to make it look like i am ugly, or that i have an attitude problem. i really don't have an attitude problem. i am basically a humble person put into a very confusing situation.
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it really isn't easy to try to be everyone's "thing", when no one communicates to you, nourishing your soul a little bit in front of everyone, helping you figure out what the best thing to do is. would you like to try this?
people are constantly assaulting me, making me think and act weird in public. they keep wanting to make me think about the same thing from the past, ALSO WANTING ME TO KNOW THAT THEY WON'T STOP MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THE SAME THING, and that they are trying to wrongfully defame me. i was trying to help out, being informative. i'm sorry. i am confused, reacting defensively, even though i am not in trouble. i doubt that i would have communicated more about thule.org, or thule in general, if people had not stolen my niece's birthday card and $20.
they are backing me into a corner, making me try to defend myself when i am defenseless. it looks weird and obnoxious. i had and have a good intent. i wanted people to know why i researched something (thule) to begin with. i also wanted people to know what the significance of something is (what really happened in world war 2). these people who are assaulting me and others are the ones with hate in them. i am sorry if i confused anyone. i am stuck in middle of something. i had the best of intentions, wanting to help everyone.
i wish that i would be left alone. some people want to put me up, just so that they can hate and tear me down. i want to be able to blend in with everyone else. people should leave me and others alone.
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the email which i sent to thule.org, trying to get him to put his website back online, was undeliverable. i don't think that i am able to email him anymore. i am not promoting thule.org. i just wanted people to be able to see what type of information it was, nothing about white supremacy or hate. i am not preaching hate. a few people who got themselves into social trouble by being evil and mean are the ones who are preaching hate of me, trying to make it look like i had or have some intent which i didn't or don't have. i am not associating myself with thule.org. other people are wanting to associate me with it, not wanting me to be able to think about anything else but people trying to wrongfully defame me. why? because they got themselves into trouble, never anticipating that i would be defending myself on the internet. they are taking cheap shots at me and people who defend me, not wanting me to be able to ever think of something else. it is a scheme. dirty politics. ignorant people don't understand how evil these people who are doing this are. i wouldn't be communicating about any of this if i didn't know that a few people are lying about me, trying to spread hate. they got themselves into social trouble. God played a trick on them. He also played a trick on me.
what is these people's point? that i am supposed to be hated by the community? why? i wasn't wanting to hate you or cause people to hate. they knew this, too. i was wanting to help people, everyone, but confused as to what was what because of my unique experiences with the supernatural. i was also confused because i assumed that God is a loving God, wanting to help everyone.
it is easier for the community to find some kind of fault with me, rather than to try to find fault in many people, or the community, which would include themselves, even if they are innocent. it is less confusing for the community that way. really unfair to me.
people gossiping about what is going on, secretively, is the problem. we can't establish what is real, openly or honestly, wasting people's time and effort. we can't establish what is actually going on, or what actually happened. there is no accountability for others. people are not being held accountable for what they do, or have done. i am trying to hold myself accountable.
you're not even giving me a chance to defend myself. you can act as if you don't know anything about my internet work. it is more convenient for people to do that.
i showed black people and a mexican person love and acceptance in a way which some most white people wouldn't. then i was childishly mocked, because most people wouldn't do it.
what is the point for me to have been genuinely loving or friendly? a few fake, childish, mean spirited people pretend as if they have a reason to reject it. they pretend as if they reject it because they pretend as if they have a reason to, trying to cover up the fact that they have been the problem, or trying to fabricate evidence, thule.org, northern trust bank, paris hilton, george h. w. bush. all of this goes back to me calling a guilty, incredibly mean, very childish black woman a name in 2008. do you know what the police do? they find out who started the fight or trouble. i didn't start it.
i also wanted to help the government by being informative about other information, a downloadable file which i just took off of my website, again. objective.
my intent is good. i am just confused about what to do. if i was left alone, i would relax and be much more like ordinary people. some people are wanting to make me into a idol, or something special, just so that they can tear me down and say that they were more than i was. it is weird and sad. no protection from the government or police.
it is not that i am an obnoxious white bad boy who wants to imply that i am better than anyone else. some people try to portray me as that. i am a geek who wants to help everyone. it will help me later, in future lives.
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i want to help everyone, then go out and think that i am confusing everyone. sorry. i feel bad about it, but then i don't feel bad because it isn't my intent to create something bad for anyone. believe it or not, i was trying to help or empower everyone, regardless of race. the information was meant to be thought of as objective. intellectualism, not racism.
i wasn't interested in being involved in war, or killing. i mean, about a file which was available to download from this website, which i just took down, again. it was not about war, or starting war, or killing. the thought was about understanding or promoting something peaceful because there is no need for war, because i think that they already have what they want. i want to have faith in God. i didn't like the way the file makes me or other people feel.
one argument made for weapons is that weapons can be used in defense, or as a deterrent, in order to create or maintain peace. a lock on a door is another example of a deterrent. an aspect of technology. analogy.
i think that it is ok for people to not like me, as sometimes i don't like everything about me, but i don't like the idea of people not liking me, comparing me to ordinary people who don't have my unusual issues or problems.
i sometimes look back at what i post on my website, and think that it looks weird and obnoxious. it is because a few people won't stop being aggressive toward me, obstructing my thoughts or train of thought, changing my actions, wanting me and others to know that they are trying to wrongfully defame me, trying to spread hate. they are weird and obnoxious. it is a sick, childish game. they are perverted. they want me to go in circles, not allowing me and others to move on. part of the reason that they do it is because they want people to know that they get a weird childish thrill from playing with me, intentionally irritating me. i don't want to play with them. they are not people who i would associate with. i wish that the police could get involved somehow, creating some respect and a deterrent to unwanted aggression. i wish that if people knew about me, knowing about the unnecessary problems which a few people have created for me and others, that they couldn't pretend as i they didn't know about me. we lack accountability as a community.
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i thought more about a GoFundMe fund raising internet account. my dad and mom would want me to use my own money, if i had it, for things such as purchasing a future used car and air conditioning unit at my house. i gave a preliminary GoFundMe fundraising goal of $800 or $1000 per month, or total of $10,000 or $12,000 per year, but this wouldn't work every year if i use my own money to purchase some necessary things. my dad and mom would want me to use money which i raised, if i was able to raise any. this is not a bait and switch scheme. right now my upstairs air conditioner is not working. the air conditioning company told me that it is better to replace it, rather than to replace parts, because of the age of the unit. my dad just helped me with a brand new downstairs air conditioning unit about 1 and 1/2 years ago. he helps me, but we are not super rich. right now he doesn't have the money to purchase a new unit for my upstairs. this is not a lie. my dad and mom would probably be offended if i had money which i was able to raise, and then act like i didn't need to spend it on necessities, passing the cost on to them. i would naturally tell my parents if i was able to raise any money with a GoFundMe internet fund raising account. what i am stating is that there might be a few times, not many, when i have to spend more than the budget which i proposed would allow me to. these air conditioning units are about $13,000. i found out that they are phasing out the current type units, and that the new ones later are about $20,000. since i am 51 years old. i am guessing that i will need to replace both units at my home again, after i replace the current upstairs unit. they last about 15 years. i don't want really expensive cars. i think that $20,000 or $25,000 is ok for a used volkswagen. my current volkswagen is a 2016 jetta. i got it in 2018, used. it now has $130,000 miles on it. it had about 30,000 miles on it when i got it. i guess that i will be able to drive a newly purchased used car for about 10 years, also thinking of not real expensive maintenance fees.
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this mexican girl thinks that she is in trouble, and she doesn't know how she is going to lie her way out of trouble. she is trying to give herself the ability to be able to get along with any mexican guy, no matter what he thinks about this situation, as long as he has money. she is an evil gold digger. she has the type of ugly female personality, like a girl in the drug scene, wanting mexican guys to know that she is an evil gold digger. she is going "isn't in funny that i am a prostitute? hehe. oh yeah, hehe, i don't give a shit about your feelings." she seems to want to imply that her thought is that women are supposed to treat men like shit, like it is supposed to be thought of a funny. maybe in her world. not in mine. not in loveable, respectable ladies' worlds, either. i understand if this seems like i don't know what i am communicating about. that is exactly what she is trying to do. she is just trying to be able to get along with any kind of mexican guy, as long he has money. mexican guys need to be warned about her, especially after i die. she is trying to confuse ignorant people about what she means by her aggression. she is lying in 2 different ways. the first lie is that i deserve to be harmed and stopped, because i did something wrong. the other lie is that she is being friendly, and that i am not friendly or receptive to it. she doesn't care if people know that she is full of shit, as long as she has something to lie about. she likes to play dumb. i know that she lies to her parents. the black guy copies her, just to intentionally be thought of as creepy and irritating, and to stupidly imply that it means that girls like him, because he is insecure about them not liking him. it is very easy to know that it is 2 different people who are being aggressive, but they want ignorant people to think that maybe we don't know what we are communicating about. again, they don't care if people know that they are lying, or full of shit, as long as they have something to lie about. they are lazy, and don't want to do honest work.
i really wish that i had good news to report. it is a very sad, confusing situation. the people who are acting aggressively are childish and perverted. sadistic. they have mental problems or personality disorders, a very few people who are ganging up on us, pretending as if they like each other, or pretending like they are cool because they have "friends". i don't have a mental problem, or i am not socially lame, like these few people want you to think. i am under a lot of pressure to do something positive for the community, since i lack privacy in the way which i do, and i am telling you that it is really impossible to be able to develop or help. i think that i have already helped, but i wanted to do more. i guess the best way that i can help is to not communicate about this mess. they don't want me to be able to get credit for helping, or to be popular. they don't want me to be liked, because they think that it creates a social problem for them, publicly. they don't want me or anyone else to have a good time, because they think that it would illustrate a difference between happy people and people who are not happy. it is very childish and selfish of them to do this. people have to work for their happiness, not just take happiness away from others in order to feel better about themselves. i wish that the government or police would try to protect me from these weird predators, making an official public statement about the situation. they are preying on everyone, wanting attention. form of weird, childish terrorism. i am not putting on an act, faking being sick. these people would want ignorant people to be able to say that i am putting on an act, faking being sick. no. i take my job seriously, and i am telling you that there is a problem. it is not just that i am complaining. it is that i have been trying to get them to stop lying about me, trying to make them realize that they will lose, so that they will stop, and stop with the aggression, so that there is peace, happiness and productivity. they began to mock me after they thought that i won because of my work on the internet. sore losers. they are acting like children who know that they are in trouble, throwing a temper tantrum, wanting to try to control the adults. very selfish and childish of them. it is unbelievable disrespect. form of anarchy. i guess part of the reason that i communicate about this so much is that i am in a state of shock or disbelief. they try to separate me from the community, so i fight back. i kind of feel like this is a sad story about a guy in a space ship which lost power, which is floating away into space, and i keep trying to get the power system running, but there is no chance. i really wanted to be with people, not alone and feeling weird or shunned, worrying about my life and future lives.
a very few people who feel as if they have been rejected, because they think that there is a good reason to reject them, are being fake, implying that i am the one who is to be rejected. they do it because they think that i am more likeable than they are, because of what they are known to have done. they imply that they are to be thought of as superior, but that they don't have to do any real work, or state anything intelligent and conclusive. that is what thugs who bully people do. i am being bullied. we are being bullied by low class, thug like people, who imply that they are superior, even if they don't do any real work. they won't get away with it. it won't work. get a life. get real.
i really don't want to communicate about this crap anymore. they won't leave me alone, so that i make progress, day after day, just like people ordinarily make progress in life, dad after day. i may go back and delete a good portion of the above posts.
i understand if ignorant people think that it seems as if i complain to much. guess what? i have very good reasons to complain.
the very few people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are desperately trying to trick people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who do not speak english, into thinking that i am really unpopular in america, or that the majority of people are against me. the majority of people are not against me. the very few people who are being unnecessarily aggressive are the minority of people. the majority of people are on my side. the minority of people are a very few childish, socially lame, evil people who don't want me to have friends or love in different parts of the world. they are low class, uncivil, lazy, dishonest thugs who want to make fun of nerds who do honest work, like me. they are implying they ignore people who do honest work, trying to get other people to join in with their making fun of me.
the information which i got from thule.org was meant for everyone so that everyone is treated as an equal. just information. doesn't mean that i hate blacks or jews or anyone else. i wanted everyone to have the same information, same ability, same privilege. just because i called one particular black woman who was evil, childish and sadistic a name, in 2008, doesn't mean that i hated or hate all black people. just because of the past slavery issue in america, i don't have to respect black people who are obviously not respectable. this is not nazi germany, and i am not a skin head or KKK, just because i am white. this is not the civil rights era. they have their rights, not to mention that i publicly, more than once. showed them love and respect. one way was to have voted for black politicians who were better spiritually and morally qualified to do good work.
some of these black women don't want to be treated as if they are an equal with everyone else. they imply that they get special treatment, or that they want to be thought of as superior. i can call an evil, mean black person a name, just like i can call a evil, mean white person a name, or a whoever else, if i want to. get real. people can defend themselves and others if there is a real need to.
don't expect me to be a stupid, cheesy ass kisser, just because i am christ. that would be fake and ineffective. i will fight, but only when there is a real reason to fight.
i debated on whether or not to put all of the thule.org information which i have back on my website. i am putting it back on. it is just information. it doesn't mean that i am preaching hate or white supremacy. i honestly don't believe that there is not racial diversity in projects which people would assume lacks racial diversity. i am stuck in an awkward confusing situation because the thule.org website isn't online, and some people will try to use that against me. some people are trying to create division, like the black women who stole my niece's birthday card and $20, stupidly, childishly wanting to relate it to paris hilton and thule.org. i was not interested in trying to spread white supremacy, or something shady, i was interested in film. i am not trying to create or illustrate division. i feel as if it is the right thing to do, to turn over all of the information which i have, being transparent, even if it confuses people. i think that they guy who created the information at thule.org actually does understand some of what he is communicating about, but also that his choice of description is skewed because of his own limited personal experience. i thought that he was a unique person who cared about me. it made me feel connected and loved when i was going through confused isolation. i also honestly believe that he didn't discriminate against others solely on the basis of race. it was not like star wars, or not like the emperor communicating to darth vader. i was also confused in the past about the meaning of the situation in general, because of my initial and continual unusual experiences with the supernatural. my intent was, or is, to help everyone, regardless of race. that is the only way which it made sense to me, since i know that i am in constant 24/7 activity with different types of people. i communicated about what was happening, wanting others to reap a benefit. people knew this, but then stabbed me and everyone else in the back after i called childish, mean, evil black woman a name in 2008. i was always communicating out loud about what i was doing, thinking unrealistically positive about the situation in general, believing that my job was to help everyone. i have 2 more thule.org files to scan and upload. one is about theory of catastrophic mountain uplift (32 pages). the other is about Tiahuanaco and the deluge (22 pages). i used to have another file from thule.org which was something about "a plan" to depopulate the planet by tipping a meteor into the gravitational field of the earth. i think that i can understand why people would want to do that. it is out of control down here, and there will be a problem with food later. i think that a long term struggle would not be in the best interest of the inhabitants of the earth. the infrastructure will break down, too. right now we can't understand it. it won't be a happy place, or will be unusually challenging.
i wouldn't be communicating about any of this old thule.org stuff if a few black women didn't lie about my character, just because i called one particular black woman a name after she assaulted me when she shouldn't have, and when honest people know that she shouldn't have. they shouldn't be lying about me, trying to spread hate. i didn't hate them, and didn't want other people to hate them. i don't remember ever communicating to the thule.org guy about any of the thule.org information on this website. it was not as important as people would think. he was being friendly, but also keeping a distance. it seemed like he was wanting to give me and others a basic amount of support at the same time.
i don't like the white people who preach white supremacy. i think that they lack an honest appreciation of a good God who exists in many forms. i don't like unloving, unfriendly white people or unloving, unfriendly anyone. some of these people try to make me look like a white jerk when i am not. they turned it into a racial thing. leave me alone. quit stupidly gossiping about me.
the tone of what has happened and is still happening every day is like watching the first part of the movie "scarface", where the columbians who are sleazy and greedy betrayed tony montana. violent, weird, sleazy, evil, scary personalities. this is how they want to be thought of. really. this doesn't mean that i am a weak person. some of the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000) betrayed me and the community for their own personal selfish social reasons. they didn't want it to look like i have more than they do, publicly, or they didn't want it to look like i am more than they are, publicly. i understand if they are having to struggle, or are frustrated, but they don't have an excuse to harm people. they should leave everyone alone, not taking out their rage on innocent people, including me. they won't let me or other people move on. they don't care if they are hurting the community. they just don't want me to look better in public than they do, because of what they are known to have done which was very very bad. they obstruct, taunting everyone including the police. they are panicking. their panic and mean behavior makes me confused and act weird. it is impossible for my mind to develop when they keep obstructing in the way which they are. this is not an act. i don't know what to do, other than to think that everything will get better after i die, and also after the 144,000 dies off.
all of this crap is because i don't have any power, or because i have not been officially, publicly recognized or protected. God threw me to the wolves. Rome protected Jesus. you don't. don't leave me high and dry. that is a recipe for disaster. also, the bible can work against me. some "unrealistic" expectation of me. some politicians might think "why don't people like him if he is Christ?" or, "it is his problem if people don't like him." they don't like me because they think that i am more likeable than they are, because they knowingly got themselves into social trouble. i don't mean that everyone feels this way. just a few of the 144.000 who got themselves into trouble. God played a trick on them. i was confused at first, but then eventually worked through the confusion and got on track, and they gossiped about me in ways which they shouldn't have. i don't have problems because i am bad. i have problems because i am good. sorry if this sounds stuck up. i just want to be left alone and blend in to everyone else. the confusing part is that i won't be left alone unless i am publicly protected. i think that the government should protect me and itself. there are crazy, mean people out there. show some strength. i keep thinking that they should publicly recognize me, but to make it seem unimportant. it happens in cycles. just like flowers which bloom annually, or plants with an annual blooming flower. what is the big deal? if it is twice, it is three times, then four times, then five times, etc, etc. why is it so important? it seems you are making it more important than it needs to be, or mysterious and taboo, by not being open and honest about it.
i understand if people are thinking "how could you think that you were supposed to be involved with something that hitler was involved in?"
because i thought that i was being told that i was involved in it, in order to be able to help EVERYONE, because of unusual experiences with the supernatural, also things i read. that is the only way my mind could make sense of it. i wanted to believe, or did believe, that i was involved with a super government or technology so that i could help EVERYONE. unusual experiences with supernatural, plus information which was not obtained from an evil or mean source. i didn't want to think that i was separated from government after reading some of that omega file, not wanting to feel lame and powerless, especially when i first started out. i didn't want to believe that we were powerless, and that it was a sad, weird story, including racial inequality, especially because i lack privacy in the way in which i do. i didn't want to think that i was going to be confused, nervous and without power, especially when i first started out. i also wanted to have faith, or believe in a loving God. you don't understand why i was confused. a combination of things confused me, including books which i looked at, which i thought were more important than they were. like a child who has a good heart, who was confused about what was real. everybody including black women knew this about me. they fucked up, being very very childish and mean, treating me in a weird abusive way in public, and then tried and try to make it look like i am a mean white person because they think that they made themselves look mean. i am so sick of thinking of and communicating about some black women. they stole my niece's birthday card and $20, stupidly stupidly childishly wanting people to think that it was justified, also wanting to scare my family. absolutely stupid and ridiculous. nothing would justify that. they didn't scare my family, because my family knows me well enough to know what i really am, a sweet boy. black women also infected my blood while i was at a care facility, causing me to need 3 major surgeries, wanting people to know and communicate about what they did. they try to fabricate evidence to use against me, implying that i deserve to be treated in that way. nothing would justify it, and i didn't do anything to them. they just feel stupid in public after making themselves look mean, childish. i have tried to help them, over and over and over, but they are so fake and lazy that they won't help themselves. for example, making a special trip to an all black church, crying hard non stop for about 2 or 3 minutes when a black adult gave me their black child's hand to hold while they were singing. then they fake thinking that there is some reason to reject it, because they are in such a weird, stupid denial about being the initial problem. they imply that they are supposed to punish me for life, just because i called some nasty, evil, sadistic, childish black woman a name. it would have been impossible to not react in that kind of way. i also hate it when innocent black women or black anyone is being hurt by these very few evil, greedy, childish, fake black women who try to make it seem like i was the problem. they don't want me to be more popular than they are, thinking that people don't like them, and they don't care how many people they hurt, being fake, obstructing everyone's life. they like this attention which they are getting. i delete stuff from my website, and then they try to get me to put it back on, so that they can imply that they have leverage over everyone and are superior. grow up. i wasn't the problem and you knew that. they are the haters. it doesn't do any good to show some of these black women love. it just makes them hate me more, because they think that i look better than they do, because of what they are known to have done to me. move on with your life. it is not me saying that you can't. it is you saying that you can't.
i don't care about what i used to think and care about, now that i am older, and understand more about what my situation doesn't mean. i now know that the being acting aggressively toward me since february of 1998 is not a super intelligent, super human government agent. he is a weird, incompetent black man. i am not involved in things which i thought that i was being told that i was involved in. i would like to blend in with everyone else, do some volunteer work somewhere in Houston eventually. leave me alone. all of this crap in this section of this website is because people are bullying me and lying about me. they got themselves into social trouble, and want to try to get me into social trouble. their greed and disrespect toward everyone in the world is unbelievable.
do you know what? i don't know what the fuck i am doing. the only thing which i know to do is to be open and honest, because i have to be, because of the way that this situation is. my parents didn't know what they were doing when they brought me into the world. they didn't have an evil intent, just like i don't have an evil intent. why doesn't the government help me and the community a little, or act like they are loving and not above it all. the government is not above it all. what a horrible thing to do to me, publicly. i didn't want to believe that God is cruel. maybe we don't understand what God is, within the context of time.
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i didn't want to oppress anyone in the past. people knew that about me. i don't want to oppress anyone now. i have been wrongfully oppressed for 16 years (since 2008). one singe black woman caused confusion for black women, or the black community, or the entire community, and there shouldn't be any confusion or unnecessary fighting. that woman had or has a personal problem or a social problem, and she caused a problem for many black people, and me, and i am not happy about it. i am not wanting to oppress anyone, or her. i want her to move on with her life and find happiness. don't wrongfully oppress me. i am a confused nerd who wanted and wants to help or empower everyone. because of confusion and bad peer pressure, some black people want to try to use me against some white people, and for the same reason, some white people want to try to use me against some black people. don't try to use me against each other. i am not with either group. believe it or not, i am neutral. i am sick of that thule.org shit. it was information, not racism. stay calm. relax. work with each other and try not to be overly judgmental. think of the kids. they are the future, and it should be as happy and peaceful as possible, for everyone. the internet can be unhealthy. i think that it could be better in the future, without the internet or television. people actually being with people, face to face. war seems to be caused by one of two things. either people are greedy, or they don't have enough. share. it makes the whole stronger.
i am not healthy, or in a relaxed state of mind. really bad situation. i am being bullied and i can't defend myself. i can't lead that well because of it. i hope that it gets better.
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i don't have to be afraid of black women or anyone, especially since i am not evil or doing something really wrong. i know that good, honest people have my back. it is not a con, and i think that people know that. some black women are wanting to try to intimidate or bully me, or everyone, wanting people to know that they conspire with electronic communication devices. it isn't impressive. it is lame. no one has to be afraid of them. that one particular black woman caused a problem, making some of them nervous and aggressive. stop it. relax. be happy. this is not oppression of black women. this is a defense of myself and the community, including black women. i loved you, and still want to love you.
i would be saying bad things about white people, too, if they were acting aggressively toward me.
i drink a little too much, but that is about it. i am looking into getting medication which curbs the desire for alcohol. i have been drinking about 1 standard bottle of wine a day for a few years (3 or 4 glasses a day). i am addicted to alcohol. i am not sloppy drunk all of the time, or really never, but i do drink too much, and i am sick of it. some people are making a sick joke about how they are bullying me, being weird abusive, knowing that i will want to relax with alcohol, so that i get them high, and so that they are not the ones with the medical problem. they are also addicted to alcohol, trying to cope with their own confused situation. really.
i used to have the thule.org '"the plan" for massive depopulation' file printed out, and put in a binder, but i threw it out several years ago when cleaning my house, getting rid of old stuff which i thought would confuse my mom, if she found it after i committed suicide. i cleaned my house, wanting to be respectful. i am not dr. evil. more like forrest gump, or a tom sawyer.
i know that people are trying to help. i have heard people say "no problem" or "no worries", i think trying to help me or whoever would hear it, and i appreciate it. i have been trying to defend the community for years, wanting there to be peace and happiness. it is not just that i am complaining about unnecessary, weird aggression, i am trying to get it to stop. i might seem like i am an uptight jerk on the internet. i apologize for the stress, but like i stated, i have been trying to defend the community. i have a gay spirit, if you know me personally. a few of the 144,000 have personal problems, and are frustrated at the thought of other people being able to be have more fun, or be happier than they can be. so they are childishly spoiling other people's good time. they should grow up. they are envious, and childishly try to spread envy and hate, and happy people think that it is stupid. it becomes a an issue about people who are happy or people who are not happy. i am a happy person at heart, and i have many reasons to be very happy, and these people know it. i want others to be happy. be happy. go to the gym. or go eat a cheeseburger. i don't care. another thing is that i have a right to be here, and to have a happy life, just like other people. quit making a big deal of me. quit gossiping about me. i was confused at first, but then i worked through it, and can have a more normal, happy life now. some childish people keep implying that they want weird entertainment, and that i am not allowed to move on with my life, with them wanting others to know that they have a weird fascination with me being confused, with them creating unnecessary confusion. i am not in trouble. i am not evil. leave me and others alone.
i am concerned that some imaginary faction of the u.s. government which has access to high tech aerial weaponry is going to attack the u.s government, or the world, wanting to create a story about how aliens did it, when it wouldn't be aliens doing it.
i wish that the u.s. government would restructure itself. they could change it from 50 states or territories to 10. eventually martial law, or a more consolidated government will be instituted for management purposes. there will be changes which will bring this about, whether people want to think about it or not. like an emergency situation, which will need management from the federal government, or FEMA. they might as well restructure or reconsolidate now, while they can do it more easily, and while they have more time to be able to think it through. not rushed or confused. i also think that less politicians in washington d.c. or the country would make governing more efficient. there is a problem with our political system. it doesn't work as well in practice as in theory. inefficient or difficult to manage. too many people involved. truthfully, the people are typically not smart or experienced enough to be able to manage the country, as with the concept of democracy. it can still be a democracy, but with less people involved. maybe model the american government more like a european country. there are many types of government, and america should not let ridiculous apple pie pride get in the way of making practical changes for the benefit of efficient future management.
i was confused and sort of scared, feeling isolated for about 2 or 3 years after my initial experiences with the supernatural before i thought that maybe i was supposed to be involved in some type of super government in order to help everyone. 2 or 3 years after unusual supernatural experiences and reading part of the 'omega file'. i mean that it was 2 or 3 years before i researched 'thule'. i never wanted to oppress or harm anyone. it was sort of child like, like a child thinking that everything is more magical or special or special or better than it is or was, not imagining that God would use me to create something bad for people. i was impressionable, like a child is, in a state of bewilderment and shock. if you would have been receiving unusual physical communication from some being like i was, you would have been confused too. i thought that it was some super human intelligent government entity communicating with me. now i know that it is just an ignorant black man with a weird mental problem. i don't feel the same way about thule now than i used to. i now think that the guy at thule.org was preying on me, with me thinking that he was more cool or loving than he is. i am sorry if this has confused people. i don't know what the term 'aryan' means, and i really don't care or really want to think too much about it. i don't think that other people should either. it doesn't just mean white people. i know that i was imagining an ethnically diverse group working together. i thought that i was supposed to integrate something diverse and strong into having high tech power or privilege; having a job helping EVERYONE. i didn't want to think that i, or we, had to feel scared and powerless, because of some whatever nazi stuff i read a little about. i imagined being involved with high tech government, in order to have power, in order to be able to help EVERYONE. i don't care that much about this anymore, now that i have more insight and maturity. i just want to have a life more like normal people do. i thought that some of the 'technological aryans' file was important. i don't like the tone of some of it. i would not get along with unloving or greedy white people. by posting the file to my website, i am also trying to protect myself and other people from people who lie about me or what the information was. they could have made up anything. people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with who betrayed me and the community, getting themselves into social trouble, know me much more than they wanted people to know. i was and still am always talking out loud, explaining what i am doing or thinking, feeling awkward or nervous. this is since 2002. like i am trying to figure out what is going on for myself and others, like i was on a team. it is sad, because some people in the 144,000 are childish and sadistic, getting a sick thrill, intentionally making me feel awkward or nervous in front of others. i don't want to confuse people's faith. my faith is confused because i am stuck in the middle of something which i don't understand, and because i worry about gossip and future incarnations because i am not being officially recognized or officially protected by an authoritative body. the government needs to protect itself. at a minimum, Rome implied that it was ok to accept or respect Jesus. that is good enough. some people are trying to toy with authority or government in a bad way. like adolescents who shine laser pointers into cockpits of airplanes when they are on approach to land. weird people can do weird, very mean, childish things to me and others. i don't like the thought of the government doing nothing, not helping to normalize this situation, because they are curious about what will happen, because they want entertainment. you might not like what you discover. not necessarily about me, but in general. i still have faith.
i deleted the 'technological aryans' file from the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website. i don't like the way it makes me feel, or the way which i think that it makes others feel. i cried a little bit today when i was getting my automobile oil change, thinking that the black guys who worked there, who were helping me, were cool. and hard working. the 'technological aryans' file was information which i thought was important, not racism, and certainly not something which ignorant, unfriendly, racist american white people can use against everyone else in america. just because you are white doesn't mean that you are involved with flying saucers. the hebrew word 'aryeh' (etymologically similar to the word 'aryan') means 'lion' in hebrew. like the lion of the tribe of judah (christ). i think of it as people who are christ like, and not necessarily caucasians. i think that other people like to think of it that way, also.
i wouldn't have gone on and on about thule.org if people were not obviously trying to wrongfully defame me. they are fake, and take cheap, ugly, cheesy, childish shots at me and good people who i know defend me and the community.
of interest.
only the article, not the comments.
https://www.chabad.org/kabbalah/article_cdo/aid/2922351/jewish/Iran-and-its-Jewish-Connection.htm
also.
https://search.yahoo.com/search?fr2=p%3ads%2cv%3aomn%2cm%3asa%2cbrws%3achrome%2cpos%3a2&fr=mcafee&type=E210US1485G0&p=confusion+about+the+word+aryan+meaning
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this mexican girl and black guy are trying to fool people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who do not understand english, into thinking that something is more important that it is, or that i am less popular in america than i am. they are classic satan. it doesn't mean that all white people are good, and that all mexicans and blacks are bad.
a few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, 144,000, imply in a very stupid, fake way that they are superior. they do it because they have a confused identity problem. i am not the one with the attitude problem. they are the ones who keep going on and on about the past when it is not important, and when it doesn't mean that i am evil. they can't do anything, or are stuck, because of knowingly having done terrible things. so they don't want people to think that i am doing something, or that i am happy and productive, with them not wanting to have to compare themselves to me, or a positive person. they obstruct. every day, all day long, like they want others to think that they think of it as a sick childish game. my mind can't do as much work as it would have, because they interfere with my train of thought. this is their intent. like someone putting a virus into your computer. they have motive and opportunity. we can't make spiritual progress as we would have, without the blatant interference. they keep wanting me and others to think of the same things from the past, over and over, when it isn't necessary or important. they want me and others to know that they lie about me. what they are doing is so childish, selfish, evil and sadistic. they have an attitude like low class, sleazy, lazy thugs. i'm really sorry about this. it is a very sad situation. i wish that the police and/or government could help.
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people should leave me and others alone. go make yourselves happy somehow, and don't think about making yourselves happy by interfering with other people's happiness. grow up. get a life. this is really a shot out to a few 144,000 people, and not the community in general.
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i am trying to defend myself and the community when i am defenseless. that is why it looks weird and obnoxious. i try to defend myself and the community by putting information on this website, and i have tried to defend myself and the community by deleting all of it about half a dozen times. i really don't want any of this aryan information on my website. it makes people think too much about something which they shouldn't think about, or are not capable of understanding. i don't understand it. i also don't want negative things about black women on my website. i was just thinking of deleting about 75% of this 'important 1' section of this website. now i think that i should just leave it. ignorant people could not possibly imagine how sleazy, evil and sadistic the few people who are acting aggressively are, obviously getting a sick thrill from making the community miserable and confused. they envy what they know that i could have created if i wasn't being obstructed. they confine me to them and my confused past (which they are mostly responsible for creating) wanting me and others to know that they are trying to spread hate and division for their own evil, personal selfish social reasons. they know that i am innocent, and don't want me to look better than they do, publicly. now i think that i should delete it. now i don't know what to do. now i think that i should leave it. the people who are causing problems being unnecessarily aggressive try to make me look guilty, fake and weird on the internet, knowing that i have no choice but to try to defend myself and others. but when i am defenseless. i can't just sit there are take this stupid shit from people. it is too confusing since i lack privacy, since i know that people are communicating about what is going on, and since i know that people are trying to divide the community. they don't want ignorant people to know how badly i am being confused and harmed every day, all day long. it is weird, perverted childish sadism. a few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with who have anti social personality disorders. they like childishly rubbing it in everyone's face that they think that it is fun that they can get away with it. i can think of nothing but weird, mean, childish psychopathic people wanting to harm me and wrongfully defame me. that is what they want. they want others to know that they think that it is fun to be creepy, stalking me and everyone else, wanting our "attention". it is like they are poisoning me, or putting a virus into my computer (my brain). they are wanting to make the community miserable, even if i don't communicate about problems, wanting me to be blamed for it. they do this because they got caught doing something very bad, so they don't want me to look better than they do. they try to assign blame to me, because they know that people know that they are the problem.
i just want to be left alone. i could have such a happy life now that i am older and not confused about things which i was initially confused about. i can move on, but these few people can't, and they don't like it. they created a problem for themselves by being mean and dishonest.
i am never relaxed, or thinking real clearly. i feel constantly threatened, and it confuses and affects my thoughts and actions. that is what they want me to feel like. evil, sadistic people who are angry and confused because they are in social trouble. they hate it when i delete negative tone information about people off of my website. they think that it makes me look like a loving, friendly person, with them thinking that people think that they were not loving or friendly because of what they are known to have done. they try to get me to put it back on my website by harassing me, or making me sick in public.
i have cried several times from this mess. it is so unfair, to me and to other people as well. i could have been such a happy, productive person. they want to make a weird, very mean, very childish mockery of christ's spirit.
this black guy keeps assaulting me sexually. it doesn't mean that there is a problem. i have been complimented many times though out my life. he is trying to create the impression that it is not as good as it is. he is telling weak, childish, socially lame black women to lie, faking thinking that he is sexually attractive. he does it because he thinks that he isn't sexually attractive. he is a weird weak insecure wimpy creepy black man, who likes to be thought of as creepy. he is one of those cheesy black men who wants people to think that he is cool if he is blatantly fake. he tells black women that he will lie for them if they lie for him. they pretend as if they think that they are attractive. dirty, fake politicians.
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i feel like i am stuck with evil druggies in the dope scene, even if the people who are betraying me and the community aren't actually using drugs. that is what these people make me feel like. it is like they are shady people who fuck people over for dope, or money so that they can get dope, in order to try to make themselves feel better, or so that they can be around people who they can get something from. it is a few of the 144,000 who have personal problems or identity problems. they want people to think that they are interesting or special, but are confused about how they do or don't relate to me, or what people think about them when compared to me. they want to have fun but have trouble. they shouldn't interfere with my ability to have fun. i feel for them, but it doesn't give them an excuse to blatantly lie or harm others. i hope that it works out for them. maybe it will. i hope it does.
all of this in this section of this website was unnecessary. i am sorry about the confusion. it is an unusual situation, and i am not evil. wonky and confused, but not evil or mean.
i really don't like anything at all about anything 'aryan' being on my website. i got screwed over, so i thought that i should go ahead and give people the information which i had because it confuses me less in public. me being in possession of information does not make me evil or mean. it was information, not racism. i never wanted to harm or oppress anyone. i wanted to promote diversity and they knew that. i am kind of like mr. rogers with a bit of a wild side.
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this black man and mexican girl who i refer to in the beginning of this section of this website are trying to bully the government. it has an ego problem. sort of like an animal. i think negative alien. i wish that the government and/or police would issue an official public statement about this situation, or the situation which i know that they know about. this creature (singular, even though it is definitely 2 different people) assumes that i will never get official government protection. it assumes that nobody will have official government protection. it thinks like a criminal. actually, it is criminally insane. scary. please help. the government needs to protect itself. i have read about negative aliens, and this seems to match. psychopathic. it lacks empathy. predatorial.
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i uploaded the thule.org the 'technological aryans' file to the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website again. i think that the information is important. i don't like the tone of all of it.
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i meant to state that i teared up when getting my annual state automobile inspection. i got confused, having stated that i was getting an oil change.
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it is amazing how ugly and childish some socially lame people can be when they think that they can get away with humiliating a special public person who doesn't have security or a way of protecting themselves. they are not going to humiliate me. they have already humiliated themselves.
it didn't or doesn't do any good to show some of these black women love. it just makes them confused and angry, because they think about how they don't have it in them, themselves.
they want to childishly humiliate a special white person, publicly, or white people in general. some notion of superiority because i am christ. i am not wanting to state that i am superior, or that whites are superior. it is the very few people who are being unnecessarily aggressive EVERY DAY stating that they are superior. it didn't or doesn't matter that i showed them love. their demonstrative hatred is childish and bizarre. it is because of some notion of white superiority, even though i am not wanting to state that i am superior, or that whites are superior. i don't think that most people are wanting to hate, or act like they hate. it is a very few of the 144,000, who got themselves into social trouble, who have mental problems. since they caused a social problem for themselves, and because people know that they are minority, they are turning it into a stupid unnecessary childish racial thing. i had problems with white people too, when i lived in la grange, texas, from 2009 to 2011. a few of the police tried to kill me and make it look like it was drug or gang related. i don't think that any of them are still working on the police force.
i wish that i could leave this party. it sucks. it is stupid. i'm not going to try to commit suicide again. i tried 7 times in the past, mostly going to remote locations to try and get someone to shoot me in the head. one time someone showed up, but they didn't say anything, so it confused me, and then they backed out. 3 times at memorial park in houston. 3 times on a bike path close to patterson road and highway 6 in houston. 1 time when i got a job at a mexican restaurant to be able to get money to be able to overdose with xanax and alcohol. nice peaceful death which probably would have worked. the mexican girl made it impossible to be able to work on the first day of work, after i went though all of the hiring process without her interfering, wanting to keep me here so that she could try to wrongfully defame me, wanting ignorant people to think that i am fake, and that i didn't try to commit suicide, and that i want evil money. no, i am not fake.
it must be nice and something social, interesting, to be able to socialize face to face with other people about Christ and God. i wish that i could. helps you cope? makes you feel more comfortable? support group? if i am able to raise money with GoFundMe, i am thinking that it might sort of make my situation worse. i have sort of been losing interest in raising money or trying to make myself happy lately.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201904/neglect-is-form-abuse
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i will get around to scanning the 2 other files which thule.org created. it will be about $25 to scan, at 50 cents per page. i don't have the money right now. maybe after the beginning of the month. the information is not that important, but it is important to see what type of information that thule.org generated. the one file about Tiahuanaco and the deluge is like information which is in the book 'fingerprints of the gods' or 'underworld', by graham hancock.
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all these few people who are being unnecessarily aggressive want me and others to think about is being stalked and threatened by creepy childish people who are trying to spread hate and lies about me. their intent is to be thought of as creepy, sleazy, evil. they want people to know that they are fake, making a sick childish joke about it. that is all i can think of. they are confining people to them, wanting attention. weird psychopaths, sociopaths. that is why this section of this website looks weird. ignorant people don't understand how bad this is. they want people to know that it excites them to harm people emotionally and spiritually. i think negative aliens. they are people who got themselves into social trouble, who are sore losers, who want to harm everyone, not wanting people to be happy. they want to make a mess and have me being blamed for it. there is pressure on me to do something good for the community, since i lack privacy in the way which i do, and i am telling you that i really can't do something good unless you protect me. they think that it is fun to make me sick and angry in public every day, like they are implying that there is nothing special or God like about me, because i am reacting to their sick weird aggression just like anyone else would. they rub it in our face everyday that they like being able to get away with it. it is horrible and i wish that i could get help from the police. i wish that the police would make some kind of official public statement on my behalf. it is not about religion. it is about a u.s. citizen who needs some protection and respect. i am not in trouble. they are trying to make it seem like i deserve this crap when i don't. they think that they are in trouble.
no one could just sit here and take this ugly shit from these people, without putting up a fight, since i know that i lack privacy, and that there is gossip about what is happening. they understand this, and so they try to make me look weird, fake and angry on the internet. i am not an angry person by nature. i am a cheerful, gay person. i am not dishonest. i go way out of my way to tell people what i know, honestly, like a nerd. they know this, and so they want to make a very weird, very stupid mockery of someone who is always honest, because he has to be. like they are wanting people to think that no one like me could exist, or like they don't want people to believe in christ. they got themselves into trouble, and are trying to make it look like i am in trouble, but i am not in trouble.
it would be like being on tv camera, and some weird evil obnoxious people are pissing on you, smearing shit in your face, yelling childish fake dishonest things at you, obviously getting a thrill from it, with people watching the tv show. am i just suppose to sit here and take it? it is weird perverted childish sadism. since it is an ongoing public situation, i continue to fight. if the police would officially acknowledge that they know that there is a problem, then it would change the situation.
i wouldn't be going on and on about other people's aggression, except for the fact that i am under pressure to do something good for the community, and my thoughts or ability to do work is being blatantly obstructed every day. ordinarily, if someone is bothering you or interfering in your life, you can simply get them out of your life, calling the police if need be. these people who are doing this are weird and don't care about themselves. they want to harm people. this is what happens when the police or government doesn't get involved. why don't they recognize me as something which exists, from a scientific perspective, not a religious perspective? it would help protect me and the community.
i wanted to remind everyone, including these very few black women who act fake, and rude and childish, who imply that i am not allowed to state anything negative about them, or who imply that they are superior, no matter if they are rude and childish that they wanted people to know that they infected my blood. back in 2011. i was in a care facility, and already felt threatened by black people, because of what they wanted me and others to know that they did, and thought that maybe they would infect me with a dirty needle. i tried to ward it off, angrily and being a smart ass, confused, and then they did it about 2 or 3 days later, just to prove that i should be afraid of their childishness and ugliness.
some dumb black girl who works or worked at home depot wanted to be chocolate cheese, basically insulting me because i am installing a drain system at my girlfriend's house, probably wanting to harass black men if they act like they respect me for doing the work myself.
these black girls want people to know that that communicate about what i am doing all day long, so that they can stalk and harass me at different places, trying to make it look like i am crazy, trying to cover up the horrible, horrible things which they have done to me and the community as a whole.
after i called out the childish, incredibly mean back girl at home depot, in the store (i should have gone to manager, she worked there), a black girl who worked or works at walmart tried to provoke me into being angry when i was walking into walmart to do photography work, when she had plenty of time to know that i would be there. these black girls want people to know that they are ganging up on me, and other people, conspiring. she tried to get it on video, with one of her co workers there, so that she thought that she could get me kicked out of the store. they fight ugly and dirty. they are embarrassed about what they are known to have done, and are stupidly, desperately trying to cover it up. in a way they don't care if people know what they are doing, they just like to be ugly and childish, it seems like they think that they can't do anything else. her attitude was blatantly childish, ghetto and ugly. she was trying to get me to react in anger, and i knew this, so i just kept cool.
today it seemed like some other black women was at the HEB (she didn't work there), waiting for me to get guacamole because i had told my girlfriend about 1 hour before that i was going to get some, acting like she was on the phone with someone, i think stalking and harassing me when i stood a few feet away rom her, getting my groceries. this is what they do. they stalk and harass me, wanting to keep me in an frustrated, confused state of mind, so that they can imply that i am not more popular than they are. they tell each other to stalk and harass me, but to do it in a way which means that they can get away with it. obviously i am not crazy or paranoid if you are communicating to each other about this situation. they don't want to have to deal with the real situation because they are lazy and uncaring. they made themselves look bad, and then stabbed me in the back. they didn't think before that i would ever be online, defending myself and the community from them. now they are trying to make it look like i am crazy or paranoid. they are evil and childish, and don't care at all about black people or black children. all it seems like they care about is trying to make an ignorant black man, who they think they can get something from, like them more than me. it is or was a black female power grab which didn't work. it is or was stupid, because they are implying that they are superior, but that they don't want to have to deal with real work or the real situation.
guess what lady? it was holy guacamole.
i am concerned about black females tampering with my girlfriend's medical paperwork at texas blue cross/blue shield. my girlfriend is always telling me that it takes a long time to get the referrals. it seems like the type of thing which these black girls would do, especially after what they have done. i understand if it takes time to get referrals, but i am also concerned because people can hear my girlfriend and i talking about her health problems. they don't want us to look like happy love birds in public because of their envy or jealousy.
it is so stupid that these very few black girls imply that no one am is allowed to state anything negative about them, even if it is obvious that there is a good reason to. they want to imply that they are superior, no matter how childish and rude they are. it also seems like they want people to think that i have to answer to them, or that other men have to answer to them, when they are not even a real part of my life. i answer to my girlfriend or my mom or my sister, not weird, childish, incredibly mean black girls who try to use me as a way of making themselves bigger socially.
i have been drinking alcohol when in my car a few times, when in a parking lot, waiting for food, or waiting at the airport in the cell phone lot, or just wanting to be calm, stopping somewhere, but i shouldn't be doing that. i know that it is illegal. it doesn't seem to me like i am doing something terrible, because i am really not drunk. i have kept the empty bottles in the trunk of the car, and then get rid of them. i am an alcoholic. if i have started to drink, my body and brain get confused if i am not continuing to put more alcohol in my system, relaxing myself. part of the issue is that i am thinking about how others who i am in constant 24/7 activity with are not relaxed, and that confuses me more. not necessarily an excuse, but i am being stalked and harassed really badly, all day long, every day, making me and others tense and uncomfortable. they are trying to drive me to drink, wanting to make a sick, childish joke about how i am an alcoholic and former drug addict. the people who are doing it are making a sick joke about it. they are smart ass, creepy, evil, sleazy thugs, who want to try to humiliate a white nerd in public. again, i shouldn't be drinking alcohol in my car when parked somewhere in a parking lot. i hope that this helps me stop. i think that it will.
these black girls try to make me out to be a monster, when they know that i am a sweet nerd deep down, because they are the ugly attitude monsters. they gave themselves a social problem being knowingly mean and fake, so they are trying to give me the social problem. truthfully, after the damage which these black girls have done, and wanted to do to me, i can't wait until i die, so that i don't have to think of them anymore. despite them blatantly, publicly harming me, i have kept trying to help them, but they continue to assault me. what do they think that this is? some kind of game?
they are not going to get away with what they have done. then they will make up some story about me doing something which i didn't do. they are totally full of shit, fake, and they want people to know that they are.
these black girls want people to be afraid of them, wanting people to know that they spend a lot of time communicating to each other, like a childish psychological crutch, conspiring while being at different locations. it is like they are all wanting to be thought of a harriet tubman, when there is absolutely no need for it.
this is not up to me. it is up to the community.
it is like these few girls are pleasuring themselves, like wanting to be thought of as a psychopathic childish bimbo dominatrix, stalking, harassing, confusing me in public. it is sick, childish and perverted. they are unnecessarily, stupidly aggressive, like it is a game, wanting to cause me to have to work much harder than people ordinarily have to work all of the time, wanting others to know that they think that it is exciting. they say that they don't like me, but they do, wanting my attention, and they want to have an excuse to act aggressively toward me, wanting to cause me to have to work much harder than is necessary. get away from me. go away. you make me and everyone else sick. they want people to know that they are fascinated by me, but then they say that they don't like me when they do.
consider it a divorce black girls. get away from me. they try to use me in order to try to make themselves seem bigger than they are, or superior. they are classic satan. they want to be more that christ or God, while being blatantly evil, rude and childish.
people see what i am writing, but you don't understand what they are doing.
they will try to use me because they are weak, thinking that they can't do honest work, trying to get some other man to give them something. get away from me.
up to you guys means that either the people who are stalking me me stop it, or people figure out a way of protecting me. you don't understand the nature of the unnecessary aggression, or how much of it their is. i don't want to sound like a whiner. i am telling you truthfully that it is impossible or very difficult to think positively because of the mess which a few weird very mean socially lame selfish people are intentionally creating. ignorant people wouldn't understand how bad this is unless you were sensing me 24/7 constantly.
it is a sad situation, like there was an unexpected earthquake, and i am pinned or confined in something uncomfortable under the rubble of a building. very confusing. i wish that someone could help. it is worse than ignorant people would think. these people who are acting up don't want others to think that i am a more confident person than they are, so they invent fake reasons to obstruct my work and happiness.
since it is a constant public situation, if i don't fight back i look weak. it is very confusing. if i don't fight back there is no dignity in this, which means that it is a loss for everyone. if i fight i look like i am unfriendly. the people who are playing stupid very mean games understand this and are trying to wrongfully manipulate others. they want people to know that they think in a really weird perverted way that it is fun to try to humiliate me or make me unpopular, publicly.
i wanted to commit suicide earlier, not because i am weak, but in order to protect the community from weird very mean people. no negative gossip.
it is like i have people in my house who i don't want in my house, and i can't call the police to help me get them out. this doesn't mean that i am unfriendly. are you saying that you can't choose who you want to be around?
i don't like the aryan stuff. i don't know what it means. i feel like it confuses mexican and black feelings. i am stuck in the middle.
consider it a divorce doesn't mean that i quit. it means that i am still working, telling the girls who are childish, fake and mean to get real and do it themselves.
this situation is so bad, that i would sometimes rather people hate me, rather than worrying about whether people like me or not while some people are knowingly, intentionally irritating me at the same time.
"he tried to help people, but because people attacked him and others while he was defenseless, it looked weird."
i wish that the police or government would let me and the community know that they are trying to protect me. the people who are intentionally causing problems are angry, violent and childish, wanting attention.
i can be more confident than they can be, and it makes them sour and angry. they are pretending as if they have a reason to assault me and obstruct my life and happiness. they want to make happy people miserable because they are not happy. i am not wanting to make happy people miserable, i am trying to protect happy people. this shit which these some people dish out is so absolutely stupid and ridiculous. it is what happens when there is no police force. ignorant people don't understand the nature and amount of the aggression from others.
i have been and still am trying to defend myself and others when i am defenseless. these people who are being aggressive are weird and sadistic. they take pleasure in making me and others uncomfortable in public, because they think that people can be more comfortable than they can be. it is a scary situation, but that doesn't mean that i am weak.
after the stupid way which they have treated me, publicly, why wouldn't i dislike black girls? this doesn't mean that i am mean or uncaring. it doesn't mean that i am a white supremacist.
they are trying to create an impression that God is not on my side. He is on my side. sometimes bad things happen to good people. they think that God is not on their side. they think that that people think that God is not on their side, and it makes them confused and angry, so they want to hurt others.
seriously though. what is wrong with me stating that i don't like black girls after the way which they have knowingly treated me? this isn't some fairy tale story about christ loving people even if they are evil and mean. i am harassed every day like clockwork from ugly attitude black people and an ugly attitude mexican girl who are working together, not wanting me to think about anything else but feeling threatened and confused. no, it doesn't mean that they are being friendly. they don't want me to forget about their weird childish rudeness. i am not some fake cheesy politician who sugarcoats everything because he wants votes. i don't think that i need to care about their vote because good people already know what is what.
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i don't know whether to leave all of this stuff, or delete most of it. i think that i will delete most of it soon in a week or so. today is 7/7/24. these people who are intentionally causing problems are evil, childish and sadistic. they take weird perverted pleasure in making me feel uncomfortable or awkward in public, being blatantly fake about having a reason to act aggressively toward me and others.. they want to make people miserable, so i think that the best thing for me to do is to try to ignore them and delete most of this stuff in this section of this website. it is really impossible to ignore though. really horrible situation. it doesn't mean that i am not a positive person. ignorant people don't understand the nature and amount of their aggression. it is incredibly disturbing. i wish that the police would make an official public statement about this situation, so that people can not pretend as if they don't know about it, or that i don't officially have support in my life. it is not just people bullying me. they are low class thugs trying to bully everyone. there are weird, incredibly mean people out there. they prey on me and others who care about me because i am a unique person. these people don't want people to think that i am happier or more confident than they are, since it is a constant 24/7 public situation. they got themselves into trouble. i am not in trouble. they know that i would be very confident if they left me alone. i have worked for my confidence. i think that i fought for a long enough time so that people got the message from me and others.
it is not me telling people to hate black people or mexicans. it is some black people and a mexican telling people to hate me. it is obvious because of their aggression every day. they are weird childish insecure haters with a weird unusual inferiority complex. happy successful people do not have the problem which they have. they have a psychological problem because of their own unusual personal situation. this doesn't mean that i am an unloving person. enough is enough. go away. leave everyone alone.
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i was at work for about 10 days around the 4th of july, away from my computer. then i didn't have power at my house because of hurricane, then i went back to work. i will delete most of the work in this section of this website soon. ignorant people wouldn't believe how childish, creepy and sadistic the people who are stalking us are. i really wish that the police could make a public statement which i think would deter these people from doing this every day, all day long. they are trying to bully the government. i know what i am communicating about.
i will scan and upload those thule.org documents soon. probably after the beginning of the month again. i know that i told you that i would do it. i wish that the website was online. i don't like the thought of people thinking that i was involved in something evil. i wasn't. i wanted to think that everyone was connected. i was always talking out loud about what i was thinking or doing.
i am sorry if people have been confused for whatever reason. for a while i felt like the thoughts in my brain were like what the white plastic balls in the lotto mixer machine look like when they shuffle them. lol. a few people got themselves into social trouble and are trying to make it look like my past is more important than it is. just because it was unusual doesn't mean that it is important.
people should not take the post about "phony trail" to africa, or whatever it was i posted about thule.org guy comment about female DNA out of context. i was not telling people that i think that people in africa or from africa are phony, or that people should hate black people. i don't think that the thule.org guy was doing that either. i was just being transparent about anything which was racial. i think that he might have meant that he thought that one of 144,000 who is contacting him is phony. i don't hate black people in general, and i didn't get the impression that he did either. i am not exactly sure what he meant, and i don't like the confusion. i am not stating that this guy knows everything, but he was or is unique.
avoid being overly superstitious.
it is a story of a public person who didn't have security who got bullied and stalked. weird cruelty. not that interesting. normal.
sorry if women have felt powerless (bimbo dominatrix remark). we need women to have power. i am being intentionally harmed or abused and their intent is to make me sick in public. it is really stupid and childish. nothing would excuse it, and i am not in trouble for anything. they are trying to make it look like i am the one who is stupid and childish. ignorant people couldn't imagine how bad this is. you don't understand the nature and frequency of the unnecessary aggression. really creepy childish sadistic stalkers. i wish that the police could put out some kind of official public statement, even if the evidence is circumstantial or whatever. people can pretend as if they don't know about this situation. there is no official accountability. some people are trying to avoid having responsibility.
sometimes i don't care about people hating me or not liking me, rather than worrying about people liking me while some are knowingly intentionally childishly irritating me at the same time. horrible public situation. i know that i tried to protect people.
i probably would have thrown the 'technological aryans' ('miscellaneous files' section of this website) file away if i had placed it in the same binder as the few other thule.org files. it was accidentally in a different binder, and i found it years later when i was not looking for it.
now i am not sure if telling people to not be overly superstitious is correct. my initial superstition caused me to work hard, and now it seems as if it is paying off. i am not telling people to not have faith, or to not believe in God. magic does happen.