The Change Starts With You

doesn't everyone already know? do i really need to explain anything? i know that i have gotten help, or that i have help, from other people.
_________________________________________

at least i got their DNA under my fingernails when they raped me. they won't get away with it.

ignorant people wouldn't believe how rude, sleazy and childish the people who are acting up are. all day long, every day. it is perverted, sadism, and they imply that they can get away with it. guess what? they can, and it makes the government and police look very weak. i want to do something good, or to create something good for the community, but it is very difficult or impossible. i know that i lack privacy, so i want to lead by example by working, and obeying the law. the problem is that i can't do something positive, publicly, for the community, when i am being stalked and harassed, in the way which i am, publicly. people don't want me to do something good for the community, because of their envy. they don't want me to be liked, because of their weird, childish envy. like an animal which gets noticeably envious or jealous of a person giving love to someone else.

some black people imply that they can create the most stupid, ridiculous double standard, by intentionally being rude to people, and then after someone reacts to it, inevitably not liking the black person, further implying that people should feel sorry for them, because of the past slavery issue in america. i don't feel sorry for black people, especially the lazy rude ones. they might as well make orange juice out of oranges, because they have more opportunity in america than they would in africa.

these people who are acting up are sleazy and evil, trying to make it look like i am crazy on the internet. no. i am not crazy. they are crazy. ignorant people who don't know me personally don't understand what is going on. you don't understand how often our lives are being disrupted BY OTHER PEOPLE. it is not me. i have much better things to think about, and do.

this black guy is weird, childish, evil and very very mean, like a vicious wild pig. he is like r. kelley, wanting to hold black girls hostage. he is fake, and implies that he thinks that they like him, when he knows that they don't. it is like he is telling them to not act like they like a white boy more than a black man, publicly, even if the black man is stupid.

this black guy changed his story about his intent, when he acted aggressively in the past. he was, or still is, ugly and blatant about telling black women, or black people, to lie. he did it after he thought that some black women made black women look really mean and dishonest in 2011, so he tried to cover for black people. the thing on the right side of my body, or south, or antarctica, or away from, or not connected to northern trust bank, was the same thing he meant, when just moments before, he referred to the right side of my body, or away from northern trust bank, out through the exit, or actually, away from george h. w. bush's office, or away from george h. w. bush. he combined george h. w. bush's office, and the bank, since he knew that there was sign for the bank in the elevator of george h. w. bush's office, which is what confused me. i think that he meant something about 50 and 5, since i had already been studying numbers, with him looking at what i was doing. the guy who was driving the car said something about a minimum deposit of 5 million dollars at northern trust bank, and then all of a sudden, unexpectedly, the black guy acted aggressively, as i already stated. we were not driving to the bank. we just happened to be driving by a northern trust back location, going to get vietnamese food. i am not exactly sure what he meant by it, but it was his thought, not mine. then he tried, years later, to make it seem like it was my thought. it wasn't. what it really meant, is that the black guy wasn't being trustworthy, or cooperative, because he knew that he was the main reason that i was in george h. w. bush' office, just trying to drop off confused mail. he was playing stupid, unnecessary games, which confused me. now he is trying to cover it up, along with evil black women, because people, including black people, criticized him for making such a stupid mess. these people who are lying about me, and my intent, are very very childish and very very stupid, to keep going on about it like this, every day. the black guy made me think that i had more power than i did, by doing what he was doing to me, for 7 years prior to me going to george h. w. bush's office. very confusing. i couldn't believe, or didn't want to believe, that God would put me into the mix, in the way which he did, lacking privacy, and also having something (i didn't know that it was an ignorant black guy at first) communicating to me in the way which it was, without there being a positive result, or affect. this black guy created madness and confusion at first. he is still creating madness and confusion. we don't want him fucking with us, just like we don't want the mexican girl fucking with us. doesn't mean that i am unfriendly, or a racist.

it is really weird, how this mexican girl tries to make ignorant people think that other people are childish, desperate and evil, like she is. she goes to this ridiculously stupid extreme, being dishonest, being aggressive, to try to make ignorant people think that other people are going to some ridiculously stupid extreme, being dishonest, being aggressive. we aren't. we just want peace and quiet. she is after money and sex, panicking, like many girls would. ever since i got into my current home, back at the end of 2012, she has attempted to make ignorant people, who are getting information from people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, to think that people are making up a story about her, because we are trying to fool people into giving us money. we aren't. she is after money, and special attention. she thought that she could fool mexicans, many of whom are catholic, into thinking that this is chapter 13 (666) of the book of revelations. she tries to make ignorant people think that i got caught being evil (northern trust bank, george h. w. bush), and that the people who are defending me, are trying to cover something up. i didn't do anything wrong. i didn't, or don't have an evil intent. northern trust bank was not my thought! it was his thought about something! it was just a misunderstanding, because of this black guy. there was a misunderstanding about the significance of george h. w. bush, also. the mexican girl knows that, and is trying to cover for the black guy, because she thinks that they seem weird and creepy to other people, thinking that she can't get sex or money. how could i have been involved in something evil, when there is nothing bad going on with northern trust bank or george h. w. bush? northern trust bank was not my idea, and i didn't do anything unethical. i even tried to protect people from that bank, back in 2010, which people know about, which this mexican girl also knew about, when i was thinking that something was going on at northern trust bank, which wasn't going on at northern trust bank. she is also trying to make it seem as if there is only one person, a black guy, who is acting aggressively, when there are 2 people, and when it is easy to understand, if you are a person sensing it. she even wants some mexican guy to think that she is funny, because she is so childish, desperate and evil. this black guy and some black women do the same thing. like they are saying to people (ugly, sleazy) "yeah, i be evil." one of the reasons that this mexican girl and black guy keep going on about northern trust bank is because they envy, or hate people who have money. they hate people who have more than they do, and they want people who have more to be hated by people who have less, because this mexican girl and black guy think that they can easily connect with people who have less, or who don't have millions of dollars.

it is absurd that paris hilton refers to herself as a businesswoman, because she doesn't give a fuck about anyone else's business. actually, she doesn't care about her own, either. she never really had to, because some stupid, cheesy, ass kissing people, like her mommy and daddy, line up to help her. obviously i don't like her family. they are weird and childish, creating something weird. hilton is a failure.

some black women are playing a really childish, really ugly game. they think that they look bad, publicly, so they are trying to make it look like i am paranoid. i'm not. they assumed years ago that i would never be on the internet, communicating about how they have been, or are, a problem for the community. they think that my internet work makes them look bad, so they are trying to use it against me, and the people who defend me, including black women, by being so disrespectful and shady, so many times, so as to try to make it appear as if i am complaining too much, or that i am paranoid. they want to make people feel threatened by them, but they are also trying to make it seem like no one is allowed to say that they don't like them, at the same time. they don't give a fuck about black people. they only care about their sex lives and money situation. they are like black people who captured other black people, in order to sell them into slavery. they are trying to make it seem like i am ugly like they are. they don't think that they seem attractive, spiritually, mentally, so they are trying to make it seem like i am the same as they are. i'm not. ignorant people wouldn't believe how mean these people are, by obstructing in the way which they do, every day.

we are being stalked. not by me. the government should make a story about it. these people who are doing it think that i make them seem like they are less than i am, publicly, so they want to make me less, publicly, so they are obstructing in a really really ugly, childish, blatant way, which i guess the police can't do anything about. i wish that the police would try to do something, i mean anything, about it. these people who are stalking us, obstructing, are insecure. they got themselves into social trouble by being mean and dishonest, and are trying to make it seem like i am in trouble, when i am not, and when i know that people communicate that i am not. we are being attacked BECAUSE i have support from others. they are lazy, dishonest, weird people who want to drag everyone down to their level, because they couldn't keep up, or because they created a social problem for themselves. they are in trouble, and they want take everyone down with them. it starts with the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who have mental problems, who have a social problem, and they want to be thought of as special, or important, in a way which they aren't.

i am not wanting to create division. i want to stop people from thinking that they can create unnecessary division, for their own personal, childish, selfish reasons, i don't want to create division, by communicating about it. a few people wanted to try to humiliate me, publicly, 24/7, knowing that i was a decent person, like they thought that it was fun and interesting. it is troubling, confusing to think that there are some people like that out there. like weird, sociopathic people who would stalk a famous, or well known person. i am sorry if my posts have confused anyone. these people who are knowingly causing problems should move on with their OWN life, on their OWN, and quit trying to involve me in their life.

i laughed when i put the worried person emoji at the top of this section of this website. you probably wouldn't have thought that about me. doesn't mean that i am in a great mood, either. i accidentally found it on the internet.

i thought about deleting everything in this section of this website, except for the important things about george h. w. bush, northern trust bank, and paris hilton. then i think that i might as well leave it, even though it seems like too much. very confusing situation. i wish that these people would leave everyone alone, and quit blatantly lying about me, like they think of it as a childish game.

do you want to know why most of this, in this section, would seem so cheesy? because i am a defenseless person, trying to defend himself, and other people. it is not so much that i am complaining. i am trying to make it stop. i am trying to get through to the people, who are being stupid, evil and unnecessarily aggressive, that they won't be able to spread lies about me, dividing the community. you don't understand how they are being obstructive, or how often they are being obstructive. they obstruct all of the time, and what they are indicating to me, and to other people in the constant 24/7 activity group (144,000), is that they are lying about me, and also trying to spread lies. i don't think that i need to fight anymore, because i have been doing it for so long. if they weren't obstructing my life, i wouldn't care so much about this. they are weird stalkers, with personality disorders. psychopathic. sociopathic. blatantly creepy, blatantly sleazy.

a few people who got themselves into social trouble are now holding everyone hostage. they try to force people to lie about me, implying that it will be too much trouble for people to act like they care about me, like me, or to act like they are willing to defend me, publicly. they are trying to take away people's freedom. i am not in trouble, like they try to make it seem. they are unhappy people, because they got themselves into trouble, and they don't want anyone else to be knowingly happier than they are. real bummer. i am a positive person at heart. they aren't.

the reason that i write and write and write and write, is because a few people obstruct and obstruct and obstruct and obstruct and lie and lie and lie and lie. they are childish weird loser evil haters.

i have already honestly communicated about this on facebook. i used to think that i was involved in a unique, loving humanitarian project in antarctica. i didn't, or don't, understand how i work with more evolved groups or beings. once the black guy, who i didn't know was an ignorant black guy, thinking that he worked for some high level government something, referred to northern trust bank, and the east, with him knowing that i thought that it meant something special and positive about the world, involving antarctica, he referred to the south, unnecessarily confusing me. what he was really doing was trying to tell me that the south was apart from george h. w. bush's office, and northern trust bank, or that they were not connected. he confused me, because he was playing stupid, unnecessary games, knowing that he was the main reason why i went to george h. w. bush's office, just trying to drop off mail. i wasn't going to a bank, and i didn't care about banking. he is now lying about his intent, trying to wrongfully defame me, because he is trying to cover for childish, mean spirited evil black women, trying to make it seem like they were right for attacking me so many times. i didn't want people to take it the antarctica issue out of context, so i didn't mention it in this website, but now i am. i did already mention that i thought that i was involved in an interesting, loving humanitarian project in antarctica. the reason that i am doing this now is because the black guy and the few evil childish hater racist black women who support him, lie about my character, and what is in my heart. i had already talked more than once (2002 - 2006) out loud about how i had a dream, or hope, that whatever would happen in antarctica, would be diverse. i thought that it was, or that maybe it was, my job to make it diverse. wishful thinking, and it may be out of my control. just because something was (germans working on antarctica project), or might be only white, doesn't mean that i would like them, or get along with them. i don't think that it is only white people. i think that it involves smart people from all over the world.

this mexican girl and black guy intentionally confuse my thoughts, wanting to incapacitate me for the entire day, every day before i get out of bed. they won't let me rest, or enjoy my own home. they are evil, implying that they are trying to help motivate me to do work, when they aren't. they are also telling people to lie, stating that i was lazy about my writing, when i first got into this house. the mexican girl wanted people to communicate about how she was faking trying to help me, in order to try to trick ignorant people who are not witnessing what is happening, into thinking that she cared more than i did. i am not lazy. it is the complete opposite of that. she is trying to make ignorant mexican guys think that she cares more than i do, or they do, in order to try to have leverage over them, because she thinks that she will get something for herself that way. she is evil. the black guy is evil, too. they are both trying to make ignorant people think that people are complaining about them, because we are faking being sick, or lying about something, in order to try to get something from people. we are not lying. it is very simple.

i am not just wanting to complain, in this section of this website. i am trying to get bad things to stop from occurring, and also from spreading. i know that i have done this, with the help of other people. this is a horribly confusing situation for me, and the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000) and i hope that something good comes out of it. please do what you can, while you can, while i am still alive. i wish that people would coordinate with me, and also people in an authoritative office. just because it is an unusual situation, doesn't mean that you can't try to control it, or normalize it.

this mexican girl tries to make people think that all mexicans are rude and obnoxious, like she is, when they are not. she tries to get mexicans to be rude and obnoxious. she thinks that she has to lie to mexican guys, in order to build them up, or to make them not feel overshadowed by me. strong mexicans guys wouldn't have a problem with it, but she thinks that she can't be with a strong mexican guy, because she isn't strong. she wants people to think that i don't know what i am communicating about, when i state that she is a mexican girl, who i think still lives in houston, texas. she wanted people to know who she was in the beginning, coming out to see me, and wanting me to communicate about it, trying to lure men into a trap. now she is hiding, and confused about whether or not she wants people to know who she was, depending on whether or not some ignorant mexican guy will believe her lies in the future. she wants mexican guys to think that it is funny that she is an evil, rude, childish gold digger. like a girl who is blatant about thinking of herself like a prostitute. i think that this can be mexican style. maybe like the way that some mexican girls will stand with their back facing the street, when waiting for a bus, to indicate that they are not like prostitutes.

part of the reason that i wanted to go to george h. w. bush's office in 2005, is because i wanted to feel like i was safe, or that someone, who i thought knew more about the situation than he did, would protect me eventually, if i figured out something useful for scientists. i thought that, maybe, it was already known that i would. wishful, confused thinking. my brain was trying to rationalize a very confusing situation, because i thought that i lacked privacy. at that time, i was less mature, and in a way, less confident, so it didn't make any sense to me, that God would want to put me into the mix, and create something weird and confused. i wanted to believe, or i did believe, that i had a more positive purpose, and that i would be respected, and protected. i just wanted to drop off mail. i was also curious to see what his office looked like. it was very nice. it wouldn't be a big deal if these people were not lying about northern trust bank.

this mexican girl implies that girls who are rejected, are supposed to stalk the men, irritate men, who reject them. she is childish and socially lame, not thinking that she is attractive. anti social personality disorder. she like to violate peoples feelings, implying that it is what mexicans do. a coward, who pretends as if she thinks that people like her, and her stupidness.

this mexican girl wants ignorant mexican guys to think that the gringo wasn't cool enough to be able to handle a mexican girl. i would handle it just fine, if it were an ordinary situation. i would get this stupid obnoxious disrespectful cheesy bitch out of my life, very quickly, and i would never have a problem from her ever again. nice and peaceful. she implies that men can't reject women, just as a woman can reject a man. she isn't my wife or girlfriend, like how she is trying to lie about this situation, in one way. she thinks that she will get more from someone else, if they think that she was associated with me. she wants mexican guys to think that i wasn't cool enough for a mexican girl. i don't care what kind of girl it is, as long as she is loving. i don't want her. she would imply that it meant that wanted her, or that other men wanted her, but were not good enough for her. i don't want her, at all. i could figure out that she was a evil uncaring gold digging bimbo easily, and never have anything to do with her.

this mexican girl implies that it is not about honest men, who do honest work, and that it is about obnoxious bimbos, who don't. she implies that obnoxious bimbos, who don't work, or who don't help with work, are superior. she feels overshadowed by a more intelligent man, who works, like me, so it causes her to act defensively, and quite frankly, very stupid. she is incredibly stupid and incredibly childish, implying that a man is supposed to support her, and give her something, BECAUSE she is a rude bimbo, implying that women are superior, even if they don't help with work. i think that it is an aspect of mexican relationships, or culture, and i don't want to have anything to do with it. my girlfriend is sweet, smart and HUMBLE. this mexican girl keeps implying that we are supposed to think of a rude, obnoxious, unintelligent mexican bimbo, instead of a loving, humble man, who works. she doesn't want people to know that i am sweet, along with some black women, who also act in an ugly, obnoxious manner. she feels overshadowed by real people, who do real work, so she acts stupidly, because that is the only thing which she thinks that she can do, in order to be recognized.

one way which you could think about what is happening, is that a few low class, evil, lazy, dishonest people want to make a very childish, very weird mockery of people who have class, who are loving, who are honest, and who like to work. i would be doing something else right now. i don't think that i would have this 'community' section of this website. part of their scheme is to imply that maybe i am lying, and that i am trying to hustle people for money, or support. i am not lying. i have knowingly never lied to the people who i am knowingly in constant 24/7 activity with, or anyone with the use of the internet. they are like anarchists, or obnoxious kids in a classroom, who want to antagonize a nerd like teacher.

i have asked the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with (144,000) to coordinate with me, so that we could go, only as a small group, or few people, to work with a biology professor, or biology professors, at universities in the city of houston, texas. from there, it would be easier to earn the respect and attention of the FBI and u.s government, in order to attempt to protect future global peace and security. you take our current peace and security for granted. ignorant people see that i am writing these things, but you really don't understand why i qm writing these things. you don't understand how often, in such a creepy, weird, frightening way, that my life, or our lives, are being obstructed, and threatened, by an evil, sadistic creature. it is politics, simirlar to the politics on earth. like an invasion, which NOBODY on earth would support.

these people who are acting up think that they made asses of themselves, and they are pissed off about it, causing them to be really stupid, publicly. i didn't make an ass of myself, because i am not evil, or dishonest, and i because i never wanted to harm anyone. they are blatant about how they wanted to harm people. that is why they think that they made asses of themselves. these people who are acting up, are pretending as if they think that my internet work makes me look bad. what they really think is that it make them look bad, and they are fake about stupid about it. they are provoking me, trying to get me to try to defend myself and other people who are on the internet, trying to make it look like i am crazy, or weird, or mean. i am not crazy, or weird, or mean. i am defenseless against people who want to harm me, and others, publicly. they are like children, who are going "ha ha ha, look everyone. he can't stop up. ha ha ha. look everyone. he can't stop us."

these few people who act aggressively want to make me ugly, like they are. they got themselves into trouble. they pretend like they think that i am in trouble, when i am not in trouble, being creepy, weird, sadistically aggressive, not wanting me to look better than they do. even if i don't communicate about it on the internet, other people will communicate about it, and people will still know about it. it helps me cope to communicate about it myself. they are like little children, playing a game, like "ha ha ha, look how we are making him tense and ugly in public. ha ha ha, look how we are making him tense and ugly in public." like i said, they got themselves into trouble, and they don't want me to look better than they do. they would rather make everyone miserable and unattractive, rather than to leave me alone in peace, so that i would be healthy, productive and gay, looking better than they think that they would look. this is very cruel and very sad. it doesn't mean that i am unfriendly or stuck up. these people are not people who i would associate with, or who i want to associate with. ignorant people, who are not a part of the constant 24/7 activity group (144,000), do not understand how much this black guy and mexican girl are obstructing, because of their ability to create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which the rest of the group sense. it is sick. they are being blatant sadistic, evil, sleazy psychopaths, who are stupidly implying that they are going to get away with it. they employ torture methodology tactics. they are like weird little children, whose brains never developed properly. very mean and very weird. it is impossible to be calm. other people who are sensing what i am sensing would also communicate the same thing. these creatures like to frighten and confuse people. they think like an dangerous animal, which knows that it is different than a human, so it doesn't try to be like a human. it wants to dominate humans, like a dangerous animal would.

i feel like you people are treating me like a soldier who you don't care about trying to save, leaving him behind in a confusing, dangerous place. it is like i am stranded, and keep calling home base with a radio, and no one answers, like it seems that no one cares about being bold, and going back to rescue me out of dangerous, confusing territory. like i am saying "please help, please help, please help, please try to get me out of this place", and no one seems to care about going back to the danger zone, and rescuing me.

it is also like i am a pilot trying to land an aircraft, with passengers on board, and people keep shining a laser pointer into the cockpit, making it a very confusing task to perform, publicly. they get a sick satisfaction from playing or toying with me, while i am trying to to difficult work, publicly. they like to try and make it seem like i was no good. let me tell you people something. no one could handle this situation is a calm manner. successful people are not threatened every day, making it so that they can't rest, or reflect on positive experiences.

these few people who are playing games have a weird, perverted, disturbing fascination with me. they want people to know that they do, and it sick.


this black man, a few black women, and this mexican girl take ugly, childish cheap shot, after ugly, childish cheap shot, after ugly, childish cheap shot, etc., at me, and the good, honest people who i am relatively certain defend me on the internet. they are the most disgusting, weird creatures which you could possible imagine. we don't want their spirit. they try to force their ugly, deranged spirit on people, implying that they should be worshipped. we don't want their spirit.

it seems as if the longer that it is obvious that i can be happy, because of my work and relationship with my girlfriend, and family, the more than these few people want to be childish, greedy and cruel, intentionally taking me away from those things, and intentionally make me sad, confused, publicly. it really is a very sad, confusing situation for many people all over the world. it was, or is, stupid for this black man and mexican girl to decide to flaunt that they think that they are weird and evil. it will get them later. good versus evil. you might as well take a stand, now, while you can, in the manner in which you can. this black guy and mexican girl are so childish and stupid, that not even evil people would want to follow them.

mexican girl seems to want to imply that mexicans are cool, because they can be thought of as evil, greedy, obnoxious and brutal. peer pressure? i wonder what jesus would have had to think or say about mexican criminals in mexico, or in the united states.

this mexican girl wants mexican guys to think that she is funny, because she is evil, childish and obnoxious. it is the most disgusting feeling you could ever have, being stuck with her. i wouldn't be surprised if someone who finds out who she is will kill her. she will probably be an alcoholic or drug addict. her parents seem to be part of the problem. they should turn her over to the FBI. she is assaulting people, with a really nasty, really childish, really sour attitude.

what good would suicide prevention tactics be, when the person who is having difficulty can't speak to anyone about their issue, or what is causing them to feel bad. this doesn't mean that i am going to try to commit suicide on my own. i would volunteer to be officially put to sleep at a hospital, if it were possible. i would just like the world to be able to witness something loving and humane. why do you want the world to spread gossip about this horrible, weird situation, which will frighten people, the longer that it goes around?

this mexican girl, black guy and the few black women who act up, want to publicly humiliate people who they think are more intelligent that they are, who like to work. you don't understand how much weird, cruel obstruction is going on. like childish annoying computer hackers, who like to get into people's personal computers, and corrupt them. why? because they can. just like other types of crime. or like people shining a laser pointer into the cockpit of an airplane which is on approach to an airport. i mean that this aggression which comes from black women, fucking with my mail or whatever, this mexican girl acting aggressively (it can be confirmed) and this black guy acting aggressively (it can be confirmed) is like someone hacking into my computer, or my brain. the already understand that i have more potential than they do, so that is why they are obstructing, or wanting to turn what would have been good, publicly, into something bad, publicly. they send a signal to not love, or accept christ, or to just be unloving, in general. i have much better things to think about, or do. part of the confusion, is that i would like to know what the police, or FBI, or government thinks about this situation, because i think that they know about it. don't you think that you should talk to me, offering me a sense of support. or is it supposed to be a weird secret? with everyone acting insecure and stupid?

the truth is that i got stuck with some weird, childish losers. disabled, and/or lazy people, with social problems, who want special treatment. good, loving people may think, "well that doesn't seem like christ to me. meaning, that he would refer to people in that way." guess what? people who form into groups (kabal), or at church, or other at other religious functions, are typically loving, civil people, who have already made the decision themselves to be at that place, to be humble, and to be kind to others, or act in an orderly manner. just like people at a job are together because they had to already want to do it, had to be already be qualified to do it, had to already submit to the work and the authority of the bosses, etc. i was required to submit in a very unusual way, and people know that, or experience that, and they don't want to have to do the same thing, publicly, so they lie about my character. blatant lies. they don't care if people know that they are lying, just as long as they have something to lie about, like an excuse to not go to work, calling in sick, when they are not sick.

these few people who are very childish and sadistic imply that they and other people should harm me, because i am not "perfect", lying about my character. it is stupid and weird prejudicial, and i wish that the government would step in, in order to ensure my rights, and also everyone else's rights. why wouldn't i have problems, being the public person who i am? aren't public people ordinarily protected? like security guards at tv stations? like the secret service for government officials? like police officers, sometimes at churches? like security at the golden globe awards, or oscars? people like to meddle with people who are more confident than they are, or who get more attention than they do. if they think that they have an opportunity, they will act. they like to stalk me because i am unique, and they want the public to think that not only are they stalking me, but that they are stalking everyone. it is a very very serious problem for world gossip, for generations to come. hundreds of years from now. don't forget that at this moment, it seems relatively secure. what about when i won't have a website anymore, after i am dead? or when the people who defend me on the internet are dead? people will be more inclined to play games, or try to spread negative gossip. fix it.

part of the reason that i type, or communicate, is in order to try and cope with a horrible situation which i am stuck in.

as i have stated, more than once with the use of the internet, this mexican girl lies in 2 ways at the same time. one lie is that i am lying about george h. w. bush and northern trust bank, and that i should be stopped. her other lie is that she is being friendly, trying to motivate me, and that i am unfriendly and lazy. either way, she wants to wrongfully defame me. she has been doing this, constantly, for about 6 or 7 years, ever since i began to communicate online about how she is evil. she is panicking, a very weak, evil female, trying to play it off like she doesn't think that she is doing something wrong, or that she hasn't been caught, by stupidly, childishly continuing to do the same thing every day, all day long. she likes to make a sick joke about how she is fake, and about how others know that she is fake, with a real childish, obnoxious, ugly attitude.

they obstruct, because they don't want people to like me, or have a good time with me, because of their childish, weird envy/jealousy, publicly. they think that even if people think that i am honest, or not lying, they don't want people to think that i am having a good time, because of their childish, weird envy/jealousy. they don't want people thinking that my girlfriend or dog has a good time with me, because of their childish, weird envy/jealousy. they don't want anyone to think that anyone has a good happy time with me, publicly. they know that i am a cheerful person at heart, and that people would have a good time with me, if they left me alone, and quit trying to wrongfully defame me. it is very sad. there are some real evil scumbags in the world. i would rather be put to sleep at a hospital, that to be publicly mocked and psychologically harmed every day. they are childish, envious, antisocial losers. i am not the childish, envious, antisocial loser. i want to have a peaceful, happy life, and i want others to have a peaceful, happy life. people don't want us to be happy, because they are unhappy, or feel like they are less. they keep lying, and putting pressure on others to lie, about george h. w. bush and northern trust bank. they are like trump, who put pressure on his supporters to lie and obstruct. they want people to know that they are lying, or think that it doesn't matter if they lie, because they are going to bully people.

a few people who got themselves into trouble can't go anywhere in life, so they don't want me to be able to go somewhere. they pretend as if they think that they have a reason to obstruct my life, my thoughts, my train of thought. i have much better things to think about, and do.

this mexican girl has always been a real ugly, obnoxious smart ass, who likes to act like she is rudely talking back to people who indicate that they don't like her. she doesn't want me to be happy, publicly, because she thinks that mexican guys will like me more than her. so she pretends as if she has an excuse to make me, and everyone else, unhappy. she does the same thing every day, trying to con people into thinking that she doesn't think that she has been caught doing something wrong. she is a very weak, insecure mexican female.

sorry to be so blunt, but this mexican girl thinks of nothing but trying to wrongfully defame me, because she thinks that she can't have sex, or get a guy with money, unless she does wrongfully defame me.

this mexican girl's family should turn her over to the FBI and media. so should the black guy's family. every time that they act aggressively, they are also indicating, with a real smug, ugly, evil smart ass attitude, that they know that we don't want the aggression. like torture methodology. like we have been kidnapped, and are being tortured, by someone who has a mental problem. that is not me. i am not the one with the mental problem!

they think that if they left me alone, in peace, quiet and happiness, productive, that it would seem as if white people are superior. a few blacks and a mexican have a problem with that.

these few girls who acted, or act up, wanted to make it about obnoxious, childish bimbos, instead of a man named christ, who does honest work. they want obnoxiouus, childish, bimbo females to overshadow intelligent, caring men, like christ, or a man. get out of my house! get of my life! get out of my girlfriend's life!

they are trying to make me, or white people, look defenseless. it is a dumb intimidation tactic, by DUMB blacks and a mexican. not only are they trying to intimidate all white people, but they are also trying to intimidate blacks and mexicans. in other words, it is bully blacks and a bully mexican, who are trying to bully everyone, including blacks and mexicans. i don't mean that all blacks and mexicans are dumb. i have much better things to think about, and do.

not only do these few people obstruct my thoughts, or train of thought, as i am trying to work, like people ordinarily work, but they want me to know that they will continue to lie about me, and continue to obstruct my thoughts, or train of thought, as i am trying to work. this is what happens, or would happen, if people couldn't call the police,

this black man who is knowingly causing problems, is a very very weak, weird, insecure, evil, childish black man, who tells nasty, ugly attitude, evil black women, that he thinks that it is ok for them to stupidly boss him and everyone else around. i don't want, or need black women in my life. i mean, unless they wanted to call me, or come over for a drink, being friendly.

these few black people, and this mexican girl, wanted to start a race war, BECAUSE I AM A NICE WHITE PERSON. they tried to make it look like i was an evil, mean white person. why? because it is more socially convenient for them to simply state, or imply, that they just hate all white people? many smart, loving white people founded this nation, any many businesses within this nation. there is good and bad within every race. these few people are obstructing my life so badly, that i would rather be officially caused to die, also being shown a little bit of respect. i would have more confidence about what was going to happen next time i am here on earth. this is not a con, like a few of these evil people want you thinking it is. my thoughts, or train of thought, are/is so badly obstructed, like it is a childish, cruelty game to them, that i really can't do much else. no, i am not lying about george h. w. bush and northern trust bank. they want people to know that i am not lying about it, and that they like to be mean, just for the sake of being mean. sort of like trump supporters who publicly pretend as if they think that he won the 2020 election.

this mexican girl, who wants to be thought of as an evil, creepy, sleazy, obnoxious thug, likes to try to humiliate me, publicly, when i am trying to concentrate on my work. meaning, that she likes to imply that she will humiliate anyone who does work, which is more interesting, or unique, than mexicans are typically engaged in. i am not stuck up. she has a weird, childish envy/jealousy problem. she has a sex problem, and mexican cultural problem, thinking that she can't make mexican guys like her, or that she won't be able to make them like her, unless she humiliates a white male, publicly. apparently, she thinks that it will make her popular amongst mexicans. i tried to help her in the past, too. she tries to make it seem as if her laziness and disrespect attitude is more important than real work. she tries to make it seem like she is more important that anything else which anyone is doing, while also letting everyone know that she is sitting around, doing absolutely nothing, and that she doesn't have any friends.

i am working on my art. i am working on a new longhorn photo in photoshop lab, and 2 abstract works, one of which you are familiar with, on this website. i go to the photoshop lab every week or 2, to make changes. sometimes, i change what i change. my girlfriend wants to put copyright like watermarks on my work, which will be presented on Etsy. this is going to take a little more time, if she can figure out how to do it with another one of her computers.

i changed some information at 'volunteer work # 1', in the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website. 72 + 36 = 108, etc.

a few black people seemed to want to have an image of childishness, mean spiritedness, and thug like dominance. this mexican girl thought that she could work an image of laziness, obnoxiousness and brutality, like she fanaticizes about being like a mexican drug cartel chief's girlfriend. i wanted an image of an honest, silly nerd white boy, who likes to work. is it like a video game, where one can choose an avatar, or character?

the biggest problem, as a group, has been black people, or this black guy and a few black women. it seems like they don't even try because they don't believe that they can be anything. guess what? i tried to help them. more than a white person ordinarily would. unfortunately, they were, or are, so lazy and uncaring, that THEY don't try. i feel threatened by black women. they seem to like to make men feel threatened by them. you know what? i have a caring, beautiful girlfriend in my life, and she and i are happy together. she doesn't make me feel threatened. it is the complete opposite. it is like a few black women want people to think that i am in a relationship with them, when i am not. it seems like they want to be thought of as powerful, because a unique white boy is thinking about them. i don't want to think about them, quite frankly. negative thoughts. i don't want to think about this mexican girl, or paris hilton either. i wanted to have positive, peaceful thoughts, publicly. some people thought that it was amusing to cause me to have confused thoughts, publicly. it is blatant, weird cruelty. i wish that the government, or FBI would step in, and fix this for the world. hundreds of years to come. without the internet, which is what it will be at some point, there will be gossip which is not healthy, unless the world, officially took a stand against what seems to be negative aliens. they are something very ugly and mean, they are just young, in the form which they are in.

it is like these very few people, who are being unnecessarily aggressive, have an childish, confused, social problem attitude, like they are admitting to being envious, or jealous, and implying that other people should be the same as them, and that other people should join in with them, or hate me, because i am what i am. (they are like a confused, whiny 4 year old child) "i don't like it, he can be more than i can be..." cool people, who have confidence, are not the problem. i understand if ignorant people would think, "it doesn't seem like there is anything to be envious, or jealous about, you are always angry..." exactly, they want to make me seem unattractive, by intentionally causing me to try to defend myself, and the community, when the problem is that i am defenseless. it is not a normal situation. i wish that the FBI would get involved, and that you people would involve me, officially and publicly. you see what i am doing, here on the internet. you don't understand how they are obstructing so often, like they want people to think of it as a cruel game, which they want other people to engage in. as long as they think that they can get away with it, they won't stop.

this black man, mexican girl, a few black women, and paris hilton keep trying to make people think that they are more important, or special, than they are. they do it because they want special treatment, or money, or power. they want special treatment, but they are fake, and not friendly, and not responsible. i don't want special treatment, i just want fair treatment. leave me alone in peace. they don't want people to think that i have more, or that i am more, than they are, publicly. they are obstructing. this situation created a social problem for them. hilton obstructed, but pretended as if she was trying to help. she is an evil con artist. she is childish, and she fakes thinking that she is more than she really is.

i experimented with delta 9 CBD over the weekend, and i didn't like it. i tried delta 8 CBD about 1 and 1/2 years ago, and i didn't like that either. i wouldn't be surprised if some people gossiped about it, trying to fool ignorant people into thinking that maybe i would use methamphetamine again. there is no way that i am going to use methamphetamine again. it wouldn't be fun. i would just feel awkward and confused. i don't even know where to get it, and i am not going to look. i like the BROAD spectrum CBD liquid drops, which you put on your tougue. i do not like FULL spectrum CBD, which is the type with the psychoactive whatever in it. i wanted something to relax my body because i had been working outside for 3 days, and then i ended up trying something else which i didn't like. i threw the CBD away.


this black man and mexican girl were/are so greedy and stupid that it is ridiculous. then when it thinks that it can't get anything for itself, it doesn't want anyone else to have more than it does. some black women did the same thing. this black man and mexican girl want people to think that they are part of the Negative Alien Agenda (NAA). i think that they are. it seems like they have given up trying to make it look like i did something wrong, and that they have now shifted to just wanting to be known as cruel, evil bullies, who want power.

as i stated below, i am sick of this crap, too. i really don't need to go on anymore. you have to understand that this is an unusual 24/7 public situation, and a few people are being stupidly childish and ARGUMENTATIVE, lying about me, and trying to get others to lie about me, so it is like feeling like you need to put up a fight, publicly, otherwise it would confuse you more. like preventing a social disease or cancer from spreading. i already did it. i think. i wouldn't care if it was just gossip, but these people are obstructing my life, and my train of thought, every day, and also everyone else's life, so i am fighting for everyone. i really don't think that i need to do it anymore, but it will be difficult, not to want to. it is like being on tv, and someone comes over to you, and urinates on you, and accuses you of something which you didn't do. wouldn't you put up a fight, if they continued to obstruct, publicly? imagine how that would make you feel, publicly? reputation, image. if i didn't fight, it would have made me look weak, and confused me more, along with all of the other people who defended me. i wish that the FBI or government would make a statement, letting me know that they did it, because i think that it would deter people from being unnecessarily aggressive. they think that they can get away with it. i wish that an international statement would be made, because people who i am in activity with, who don't speak english, should feel as if there is a real consensus that they world is not going to not put up with bullying and intimidation attempt. you see what i am doing here, but you don't understand what they are doing. these creatures (in a human body) have a real ugly, smart ass, thug like, unintelligent, mean spirited, immature attitude. like they never develop properly in any incarnation of theirs. they don't like what they are, compared to happy, positive humans, so it likes to try to make happy people, or people who can be happy, negative. they are a threat to global peace and security. i am in constant 24/7 activity with people all over the world. you and the government should get control of the gossip. take a real stand against this unnecessary aggression. it should be a happy, positive story, or a story about positive teamwork.

it is childish, ugly racism and hate. i can't believe how badly these few people wanted to harm me, publicly.

people need to understand, i am sick of this crap, too. please don't compare me to people in ordinary situations. it is like i have a spot light pointed at me, while i am on stage, 24/7. when people are blatantly lying, INTENTIONALLY causing an unnecessary problem, trying to make me look bad, or humiliate me, childishly amused by it, while i am thinking of an audience viewing it, and then thinking of that audience communicating to other people, and then thinking of that audience communicating to other people, etc., then i will fight. you wanna fight, lying about me? go ahead, bring it on. i just wanted peace, quiet and happiness for everyone. real simple.

i get sick of this crap too, but it is better that i have it.

sorry if innocent or cool girls got their feelings hurt, or confused, when i stated that girls have caused a problem, and that they don't lead, and that they don't build, but you would be pissed off, too. just a few girls who are close to me.

the problem is that some of the people in the constant 24/7 activity group (144,000) have social problems, so they act up, and betray people. they want to be thought of as special, but when they think that people will think that i am better than they are, or that they are not something good, they get confused, and lie about my character. meaning, that they are not the same as me.

a few people who are childish, unhappy losers, imply with their unnecessary, very mean aggression that i am not supposed to be happy, publicly, and that no one else is supposed to be happy either. am i supposed to be nailed to a cross? are people nailing me to a cross? why? they think that it is fascinating, that they police can't help me, or stop them? i just want peace and quiet.

some black women stupidly imply, being childish and weird, that people have to kiss up to them, no matter how mean spirited and fake they are. i am not a plantation owner, so they should stop trying to use the past slavery issue in america as an excuse to unnecessarily harm people, or try to make people feel sorry for them.

not only do people lie about northern trust bank, but they want to humiliate me sexually as well, really because they think that i am more attractive than they are, or because they think that other people think that i am more attractive than they are. they want people to know that they are lying about northern trust bank, and that it gives them an excuse to humiliate me sexually. this black guy doesn't humiliate me, sexually. he humiliates dumb, creepy, unattractive black men.

another thing which the stupid, childish, incredibly disrespectful black women did, was to steal, more than once, my advance directive (living will) which my social worker at the VA hospital was trying to send to me. i think that they also stole my melatonin a few weeks ago, which was supposed to be mailed to me. they think that it gives them something to gossip about, or lie about. i am not going to have a advance directive (living will) on file at the VA hospital. i will give it to my family. the VA hospital is supposed to be a comforting place, and respectful place, but it isn't anymore. the black women who congregate there have an ugly, stupid attitude, and they act like i am supposed to salute them, or get down and give them push ups, or something.


this mexican girl is trying to trick ignorant people into thinking that she is the black guy. it is very easy to be able to differentiate between them, because they wanted to be differentiated, because of how the two of them wanted to gang up on people, making a stupid unnecessary racial, or black/mexican issue out of it. now they think that they make each other look bad, so they don't know what to do. i know what i am communicating about. it is an attempt to deceive. they think that if they can make people explain what they are doing, that it is good enough for them to be able to get away with deception, or lies. it is a creature which thinks like criminal, constantly trying to deceive.

most of this crap in this section of this website is a reflection of this black man and mexican girl. not me. they have the most disgusting, scary personalities that you could possible imagine. they are like psychopaths, who you would see a story about on tv. they want people to know that they enjoy violating people's spirits. i wish that the government would put out a world wide statement, letting me know that they did this. the gossip about this situation is not good for the world spirit, whether i write about it or not. people are communicating about it, even if i don't. i am trying to fight off people who are intentionally obstructing my thoughts and actions. they want to obstruct happy people's happiness. it is impossible for me to be happy, because of the way which they can act aggressively. at least the government or FBI could put out a statement, as a way to psychologically deter these creatures. they think that they can bully, or torture people, and get away with it. like a terrorist organization.

this mexican girl tries to make mexican guys think that she is funny because she is so evil, trying to seduce them. she also wants them to think that she likes mexican guys who act like they hate white people. she thinks that she has to lie to mexican guys, in order to make them think that they are macho, or superior. she is afraid of mexican guys.

the few people (black guy, mexican girl, and few black women) who are lying about me and the people who i know are defending me on the internet, are like trump and his supporters, wanting people to know that they are lying, and also that they are bullies, trying to recruit more lying bullies. they are stupid and childish. they keep referring to the north, and south and east and west, as if it is important, or relevant, when it isn't important, and when it is very obvious that i have already told the truth. they want to make a very cruel, very weird, very childish mockery of someone who always tells the truth to the people who i am in activity with, and on the internet. they are people who got themselves into trouble, by being knowingly evil and cruel, who are now trying to get themselves out of trouble, or dishonestly imply that they are not in trouble. i am not evil, and i never wanted to harm anyone. that is the difference between me and them.


i am not able to do much good for the community, because of the way which i am being intentionally made mentally sick, every day. it is blatant obstruction. their goal is to incapacitate me. very ugly, very evil, sadistic. they don't care if people know about what they are doing, because they think that they can get away with it, or that no one will officially try to stop them. they can't keep up with me, so they drag people down to their level. they don't like me being able, publicly, to move on to a better life than they can have, because they ruined their lives, playing stupid games, so they are obstructing, pretending as if they have a good reason to obstruct. it is their childish envy problem. i worked all of these years, even when i was confused, but they didn't work, and now they are pissed off because i can move on to better things than they can, so they obstruct. they don't like for me to look better than they do. ignorant people don't understand how badly my life is being obstructed, because of the unique way which people can act aggressively toward me. it is like an alien invasion. they think that they can't survive if i am more popular than they are, so they obstruct.

the people who are acting up, are admitting to being ugly and evil. it is very sad for many innocent people all over the world. we are being stalked and harmed psychologically. i wish that the government would make a public statement, making sure that i know about it.

this black man, and mexican girl, and a few black women have an inferiority complex. that means that they act weird and illogical, implying that no one can think that they are inferior, while INTENTIONALLY giving people a reason to think that they think that they are inferior. it is so stupid.

i can't believe how stupid and rude a few females have been, or are. they don't lead. they don't build. they don't give a fuck about anything, other than harming a unique male, who they think is more interesting than they are, publicly. it is weird, childish sadism, and they want to get away with it. it is so childish and stupid, that it is weird. they have a perverted infatuation with me, and they want everyone to know this. like weird, childish freaks, attacking a famous, or public person, implying that they can or will get away with it, wanting everyone to know that they think that it is fun to stalk me, and everyone else. they want weird, childish attention, because i get a unique attention, worldwide. they are insane, childish, sadistic people.

this black man and mexican girl (who are real humans), who have my vision in their left eye, should stop putting on their stupid fake act, like they are not nervous, not confused, and not in shock, and that they understand everything, or are calm, cool and collected, when they obviously are not. they don't know what they are doing, and they are worried about their ability to survive. they don't understand what they are. they should just admit that they got confused, and are panicking, and also that they don't know what the fuck they are doing, and that they don't know what is going on. i don't know what the fuck i am doing. i don't think that jesus did either. they are in the same situation, as me, not understanding what is going on, but they are stupidly trying to play it off like they are so cool and collected, when they obviously are not. they should just admit to someone, or to everyone, that they are in shock, and that they don't know what they are doing, and that they are confused. also, that they have psychological problems, and needs, like wanting to be acknowledged and loved. i doubt that they will change their sadistic, weird, evil behavior. they seem too insecure. i have tried to help them more than once.

this black man shifted his lie. he is still bothering us. he wants weak black women, who don't want black people to look bad, to lie, stating that they think that he is the turn on, and that i am the turn off. he is the turn off. no means no. just like when a girl is being raped. there is no way anyone could like it. he creates unnecessary, obnoxious tension, which is from a stupid, evil black man. it is not just the sensation which is the problem. it is the person delivering it. there is absolutely no way that we could ever like him, after he has viciously, unnecessarily and stupidly attacked us like a wild pig. people who are not sensing what he is capable of don't understand how vicious, ugly, weird and painful it is. he wants people to gossip about it, wanting ignorant people to think that it means that he has a strong mind. he doesn't have a strong mind. he has the ability to do what he can, because he has a very weak, very weird, anti social mind. he makes me think of a crazy bum black man, who lives under a bridge, who tries to hustle people for survival.

this black man and mexican girl seem to have trouble with acting as if they love and accept a white person, publicly. peer pressure. i am not an evil white person, either. they are blatantly lying about me, wanting people to think that they have an excuse to act lazy, or like they don't care. people always communicate about white hate. what about black hate and mexican hate? this black man and mexican girl ignorant people, who are not sensing how stupid and childish they are, to think that they have some special authority, or special position, when they don't, and when they are just irresponsible weirdos, who are lost, and who don't know what is going on, or what they are doing, and who have a confused social/sex problem. they act like sleazy, smug, smart ass, evil criminals, who act like they want to flash a fake cop badge, so that they think that they are entitled to more. just because they have my vision in one eye, doesn't mean that they have authority. they are just weird freaks, who don't think that they can fit in. i have tried to help them fit in, but they are so insecure, that they don't take advantage of the opportunity.

i wish that i could sue paris hilton for psychological harm. ignorant people really don't understand.

this negro male and mexican female should get out of everyone's home, worldwide. they want to try to trick ignorant people into thinking that i don't know what i am communicating about, when i state negro male, and mexican female. i do know what i am communicating about. other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with do, also.

i know that black people don't agree with what this black guy is knowingly doing. i know that he doesn't represent black people's attitude. he is unusual, just like this mexican girl is unusual. they don't represent black people and mexican people. blacks and mexicans should not be ashamed, just because of these 2 unusual people. not all blacks act like criminals. not all mexicans act like criminals.

this black guy and mexican girl want to interfere with everyone's peaceful relationship with God. they are weird, envious, psychopathic creatures, who want to believe that they have power which they don't have. they don't even care if people know that they are evil. it is like an animal, which is desperately trying to survive, thinking in a confused stupor. they are a threat to global peace and security. it is some kind of alien creature, just like i am an alien creature. we are young aliens. something like russian nesting dolls. higher emanations, based on units of time. we are sensing, what we think is mine. he seems like a cool, friendly guy. funny, and also puts up a fight, when needed.

i didn't want to create anything awkward for people. i think that it is the lesser of 2 problems. this black guy is trying to create division amongst blacks. he is trying to humiliate me, because he thinks that blacks look bad. why don't you quit dragging it on, so that they won't look bad?

i wish that the government, or the medical community, would authorize me being put to sleep with a medical procedure. this is not an ordinary situation. i think that ignorant people want to stupidly compare me to others, who don't have the problem which i, and other people in the constant 24/7 activity group (144,000), have. this mexican girl and black guy want to be thought of as brutal, and evil, like they are children wanting people to believe that the evil empire (star wars) has the power. nobody wants to be stuck with them. they are vicious, weird psychopaths. this is not good for people in the world to be gossiping about for hundreds, or thousands of years. make it a happy story somehow. i can't do anything, because i can't protect myself, or others. i need help.


i uploaded an official business complaint, filed against paris hilton, back in 2013 or 2014. it is in the 'miscellaneous files' section of this website.

these creatures (black guy and mexican girl) want people to think that they have an excuse to torture people, and create misery. they either lie about northern trust bank, or pretend as if they are supposed to be thought of as friendly. they are both blatant lies, but they don't care if people know that they are, because it is part of the way which it wants to create misery. they torture people, intentionally creating misery, because they don't like for other creatures to be happier than they are. they don't like being what they are, compared to other creatures. they are angry, thinking of other people's happiness. why doesn't the government get involved, and let me know that they got involved. it is some kind of alien creature, in the body of a human. we are all aliens, but young ones.

not only do a few people tell blatant lies about me, they also want to create misery for me and the community.

this black guy is still harassing me when i masturbate. he is evil, weird and creepy. he is cheesy and fake, and he tries to recruit cheesy, fake black women. he thinks that he has less power than me, publicly, so he is stupidly trying to make it seem like he has more, and he wants black women to act childish and fake. he wants to hold black women, and all black people hostage.

the families of the black man, and mexican girl, who i mention in the beginning of the 'for your information' section of this website, should turn them over to the FBI. they told their families that they were, or are, capable of acting aggressively toward, me, and consequently, the entire constant 24/7 activity group (144,000), who are situated worldwide, with the contractions of muscle and soft tissue which they can create. they are flaunting being sleazy, evil, and sadistic, trying to get other people to join in with them. they are creepy bullies. it is a security problem for the the entire world, but especially the united states. they both have an unusual problem with their left eye. they developed this, and were not born with it.

__________________________________

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj5nH0O8lmg

____________________

this black man, and mexican girl, who can create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, which the entire constant 24/7 activity group sense, are wanting people to think that they are amused at being able to make me and other people mentally sick, nervous, and confused. they are also making a very weird, very cruel, very childish mockery of a me, as a person who has always been honest with the people who i am in constant 24/7 constant activity with, and on the internet. they want to humiliate me, because they think that i am superior, or because they think that other people think that i am superior, making them angry and confused. they have a very weird, very childish attitude, like a creature which is mentally retarded. also creepy and sadistic. it is incredibly disturbing. scary. they also want to humiliate anyone who acts like they love me, or respects me.

people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with should coordinate with me, and the FBI, and government, in order to try to control the information, or gossip, which is being created and disseminated. it has the potential to create unnecessary confusion, and conflict, throughout the world.

i deleted this, but then put it back up. i am really sick of all of it. it didn't mean that i am ashamed of anything. it gives evil people something to lie about. i can't think clearly, or efficiently, because they won't allow me to rest. they also want me to feel constantly threatened. they are intentionally making me sick, so that i act unusually, trying to make me unpopular, because they made themselves unpopular.

like i stated before in this section of this website, the few people who got themselves into social trouble, thought that my internet posts created a problem for them, so then they wanted to fuck with me really bad, thinking that it looks like i am the problem. it is an evil scheme. they are panicking, having created some weird social problem for themselves. i really do have much better things to do. it looks like i am weird and stupid. no. they are weird and stupid. they are stupid, weird, creepy, evil bullies, who are trying to get other people to join in with them.

i keep thinking of deleting information in this section of this website, again.

i understand if people think that i am going on too much about the same things, in this section of this website. you don't understand what other people are doing. they are going on and on. they are being stupidly argumentative, and obstructing people's lives so badly, that we can't think of anything else. they also want me, and others, to know that they are lying about me, and also trying to spread lies about me. it is a childish game to them, but this is not a game. i fought for so long on the internet, since 2015 or 2016, that i don't have to fight anymore. i think that 80% or 90% of the people out there are in agreement, being on my side, and also the side of the people who defend me.


i know that black people don't agree with what this black guy is doing. he has humiliated himself. He doesn’t humiliate me. He is angry, because he thinks that I am more attractive than he is.

not being able to communicate face to face with someone who actually knows about my situation is killing, or sort of has killed, and confused, my spirit. you people who can communicate with people who actually know about the situation can better cope, and have a greater sense of love in your life, or in the community.

the family of this black guy who has my vision in his left eye should turn him over to the FBI. the family of this mexican girl who has my vision in her left eye should turn her over to the FBI. they told their family what was going on, and about the fact that they can act aggressively toward me, because of the contractions of muscle and soft tissue, which they can create. people all over the world are sensing me, and also how these other 2 are weird, sadistic, and evil. i know what i am communicating about. so do other people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with. they want to interfere with my ability to do something for other people, because of envy, and some weird social problem which they have.

like i stated below, i want to put out fires, and i know that i have put out fires, but i don't want to create anything unnecessarily negative, or confused, either. these few people who are acting up wanted to intentionally cause a problem, like terrorists, wanting me to be blamed for it, wanting to make a mockery of christ, like they thought that it was fun and interesting. they are destructive and childish. personality disorders. it is sort of like obnoxious, dangerous kids, who shine a laser pointer into the cockpit of an aircraft, as the pilots try to land, or do something which requires skill, peace, and confidence.


i don't know whether to delete part of this section of this website, or not. i have already gone through this, having deleted information before. i am sick of this. i am sick of being stupidly harassed, stalked and lied about. my mind can't function efficiently, because i am being made sick and confused. sort of like how someone who is being drowned by weird brutal people, would become confused. it is like i am being poisoned. i feel threatened by black women and this black guy, mexican girl, and paris hilton, too. i feel threatened by the entire hilton family. they give me the creeps.

paris hilton wants her ignorant parents to think that i am the one who is weird, when she is the one who is weird. she intentionally wanted to make me act weird in this difficult, confusing, situation, publicly, so that she could imply that i am the problem, knowing that she is, and was, the problem, knowing that other people besides me knew that she was, or is, the problem. hilton wanted to create unnecessary drama, wanting her parents to think that she is cool, or that it is interesting, when she is actually a childish, socially lame person, not wanting her parents to think that it indicates something bad about their entire family. they fake being cool, thinking that paris is an embarrassment.


i know that the government knows about this situation. i know that i am in 24/7 constant activity with people who worked in government, before they were made disabled by the activity. the government should not try to sweep this under the rug. this is not necessarily religion (separation of church and state). this is science, or biology. simple. i am a citizen of the united states, and i should be protected. when one person's rights are confused, or not substantiated, then there is a problem with everyone's rights. leaders, school teachers, police officers, children, etc. the government should let the public know that they are investigating this, and documenting it, like mr. spock on the star ship enterprise. wake up! open your mind. what kind of shit are we going to experience next time, unless you create a positive story, this time, like tis' the season. better to potentially create some confusion, with people feeling as if they are being protected by the government, than for this present, weird madness to continue. christ is not necessarily just a person. christ is a process, which is about a great amounts of time. checks and balances in the universe. i am a peaceful person. God likes peace. it is the opposite of chaos, like the big bang. help me figure it out. please. peace involves the law, or the fact that laws have been created.

i don't want this to seem like a contradiction. it is confused. i mean, stating that people shouldn't unnecessarily involve me in their lives, and also, that the government should make a statement about me. people want to make a bigger deal of me than is necessary, for their own evil, personal, selfish, social issues. like some fake, weird, right wing whatever. you should make a big deal of it, or make it a norm, so that a few people don't try to turn into into something negative, weird, and destructive.

this situation is sort of like a few king herods, who want to kill baby jesus, or all of the babies, or anyone who is considered a threat to their own power, or personal relationships. some weak people feel threatened by my presence. their problem is that they think, and talk, too much about me, and not enough about themselves, wanting to imply that they are superior, because they have an inferiority complex. this is honest objective analysis. i am not stuck up. they want to unnecessarily involve me in their, and everyone else's lives. this should be considered a norm; meaning, the fact that i am here periodically. aren't churches a norm? isn't the bible a norm? you should make a big deal of it, in order so that it is not a big deal.

this black guy and mexican girl have a weird, creepy personality disorder and sex problem. i wish that the government would get involved, because this is politics. it is about who, or what, has control of the public, or government. psychological warfare. the same thing already exists on earth. like with peaceful countries and aggressive countries. don't sweep it under the rug.

this black guy and mexican girl think that they can't keep up with me, or other people, so they fight dirty, obstructing, in order to try to make it seem like they are more than they are, or in order to imply that they humiliate me, publicly. they fight dirty, and there was nothing to fight about.

i am being bullied by evil, really ugly attitude people. i spend 70% or 80% of my day, trying to fend evil, sadistic, childish people off. you don't see what i am doing, when i am not typing on the internet. it is horrible, and the world should not gossip about this, generation after generation. the people who are doing this are weird psychopaths, who don't like what they are, who want to stop anyone who can do more than they can do, or who are happier.


should i just delete this entire section of this website? or some of it? you know what would happen? people will try to use it against me. squeaky wheel gets the grease? i don't talk much when i am at a real job with real people, and i like to avoid childish gossip at work. i just like to stick to my job.

it is not that i didn't try to make it work with black people, publicly. it is that they didn't care about acting like they wanted to make it work with me, or a white person, publicly. their own peer pressure, or blatantly lying about paris hilton, or money. a few lazy, mean spirited, fake black women tried to take control of all black people. it didn't work, though, did it?

you don't invoke confidence in me, or this situation, by not communicating to me, publicly. i lack confidence, when you seem to lack confidence. you don't contribute toward the healthy development of my mind, publicly. so don't expect me to work miracles for you. ok?



i really don't like all of this crap in this section of this website. some of it is important to have, some of it is not necessary, or seems too repetitive, because people out there already know about what is happening, because of help from other people. the few people who are intentionally causing unnecessary trouble, keep implying that they are going to get away with it, arguing, so it becomes argumentative. you only see what i am doing on the internet, but you don't see what they are doing, all day long, every day. they imply that they won the fight, or won the argument, when they didn't. i sort of feel like a cop, who has to fight, wrestle, handcuff, subdue, arrest, jail, etc., a person who is acting up.

i am not on mean spirited white people's side, and i am not on mean spirited black people's side, or any other mean spirted group's side. unfortunately, weapons are already out there, so i think that it is better if people know that other people can protect themselves, or fight back, if necessary. i think that, eventually, the cities are going to become chaotic environments. i think that a lack of food will be the initial problem, which will cause other problems. i think that people will migrate out of the city, but then migrate back to the city areas, after they become less populated, after experiencing a problem in rural areas, too.


in reality, people respect me more for putting up a fight, not letting mean spirited, childish people walk all over me, or you, especially when there is something to fight about. it prevents social chaos, or social battles from forming, because otherwise, some people would play evil, childish games, trying to spread evil, childish gossip.

some people didn't want me to be successful because it creates a social problem for them. they want to gossip about me, wanting to imply that they are superior. why? because they think that they are inferior, and it confuses them, publicly, an inferiority complex, when they are in social situations. they want to hate, or act like they hate, they didn't want to have to constantly compare themselves to a unique, happy, successful person, publicly, when they are not happy, or successful, publicly. this is a 24/7 public situation. happy people, who respect themselves, or who think that they, themselves, are interesting, were not the problem. people are blatantly taking power away from me, because they think that it makes their social lives easier. there wouldn't be a problem if they quit stupidly gossiping about me.

again, you see what i am doing on the internet, but you don't understand what other people who are stalking me and harassing me are doing.

a few people intentionally want to create a problem for the community, or for happy people, and then want me being blamed for it. like a scapegoat. they are amused by this. they want to make fun of me, and want other people to make fun of me, making a weird mockery of christ, or God. guess what? as long as i am not officially protected, socially, it will continue. it is blatant cruelty. they wanted it to seem as if i wasn't cool, or smooth. do you know why? because they aren't cool, or smooth. this is a 24/7 public situation. the more that i could have accomplished, the more that they wanted to harass me, or make it impossible for me to function, normally.

this weird, unintelligent, childish black creep tries to humiliate me in front of other people, because he has humiliated himself, over the years. i've had a much better time, with much better girls, than he ever will. he tries to make it seem, to ignorant people, that there is there is a problem, when there isn't. the problem is with his childish, weird, creepy envy, thinking that people feel ore comfortable with me, rather than him, or that people will like me more than him, if he quit being unnecessarily aggressive. let me make a point. what are you going to think of, right before you die? it will be because of what your mind (intelligence), and your experience, allowed you to accomplish, bringing you closer to God. not your body, even though there isn't a problem with my body. my mind, because of my experience, enables me to think of an array of interesting and positive, including sexual relationships. like i stated, there isn't a problem, but he tries to make it seem as if there is. he wants ignorant people to think that my relationship with my sweet, beautiful girl is not any good, or awkward, when it isn't. problems which i have, which i have told my girlfriend about, bring her and i closer together. she has always been there for me, and she knows about my situation. most girls wouldn't love or care like that. i have already been through this before, a few years ago. this black guy failed then, too. he tried, and still tries, to humiliate me, publicly, because smart, loving black women stated that they didn't like him, and that he is rude, and childish, implying that they felt more comfortable with me, rather than with him. that seemed to make him angry, and confused, and envious, publicly. so now, he tries to boss around, and hold hostage, weak, racist, unintelligent, unfriendly black women, wanting them to fake liking him, because they think that black men will become confused, if black women imply that black women feel more comfortable with a white boy, more than a black man. am i just supposed to sit her and take this incredibly stupid crap from him, while other people spread nasty gossip about it? i won't. it is a lesser of 2 problems which he is creating. i am trying to not let racist, unfriendly, childish, frivolously biased gossip spread. he doesn't humiliate me. he humiliates black men who are unintelligent, or unattractive (mind). this black guy assumed that i wouldn't communicate about it, again. he is desperate. a real creepy fool. again, i am putting out fires, because of the way which some people want to nasty gossip about me. you just don't understand it within context. people who are ignorant (who i am not in 24/7 activity with), friendly, intelligent, loving, successful people, would think that maybe i am the problem. do know why? because you associate, primarily, with people who are also friendly, intelligent, loving and successful. guess what? i got stuck with everything, or everyone. guess what? it is a problem. i am stuck with people who are not christ like. it is like am stuck in jail, or a psych ward, with unintelligent, dangerous, evil people, who are trying to motivate other unintelligent, dangerous, evil people, to act up, publicly. it doesn't mean that i am not nice. it means that some people feel, or think, that they can't keep up, BECAUSE I AM NICE, so they want to make fun of people, or harass people, who they think can do more, or who are more. if i was knowingly successful, they think that it would complicate their lives, because this is a 24/7 public situation. it is socially convenient for them, to act as if they don't like me. that is why they obstruct. it also means that i would ordinarily NOT associate with these people, bringing peace and a sense of security to my life.

i considered using UPS, or Fed Ex, as the carrier who handles potential Etsy art work sales, but it seems like too much money to be handing over to customers. i am worried that black women at the United States Postal Service will steal my mail, like they have done on more than one occasion in the past. utilizing UPS, or Fed Ex as my carrier would not eliminate the problem, because i am reasonably certain that black women stole my Fed Ex mail to TMZ. i sent it twice with USPS, which i know there was a problem with, and i think that they also stole it, when i sent it the last time with Fed Ex. i thought that if there was a problem, that it would be easier to resolve if i used UPS or Fed Ex.

this mexican girl has an atttiude like "hehe. oh, look how i can make everyone sick, confused and angry everyone.... hehe.", playing a nasty, childish, evil game, every day, all day long. she has a very serious attitude problem. sour. she doesn't like what she is, but tries to play it off as if she thinks that she that she does, confused about how to survive, thinking that people think, or will think, that she is weird, and unlikeable, pretending as if she thinks that she is going to get away with it. very cheesy, stupid, obnoxious, childish attitude. the black guy is the same way.

a few people (black guy, mexican girl, a few black women, paris hilton) who got themselves into trouble, thought that they couldn't have sex, or have a happy social life, unless they publicly humiliated me, confused me, and made me angry, lying about my character. they thought that they couldn't survive, thinking that people thought that i was good, and that they were a problem, or evil. they are evil, and childish. back stabbers who didn't give a damn about anyone.


i sent mail to the viper room after johnny depp wasn't there anymore. i didn't know that he was not there anymore, when i sent the mail. i don't think that he got the mail. i didn't do anything unethical, but a few people who got themselves into trouble, try to make it seem that way. the people at the viper room should have returned my mail. i spent years thinking that something was going on, which wasn't going on. very confusing, when you don't have privacy.


i'll try to not go on about paris hilton, but she is like an unattractive, irritating, bimbo dominatrix, who robbed me of a good, happy public life. it seems intentionally. she plays evil, manipulative public games, trying to play it off like she is so cool, and so sweet, or a star, when she isn't. she is a weird, childish, irresponsible creep loser, to have fucked with me in the way which she did, not resolving it in a respectful, mature manner, knowing that i didn't have privacy, knowing that this is affecting the world in a confused, negative way. she thinks that people would assume that she has class, when she doesn't. she and her family are puke rich, cheese, cheese, cheese.

this mexican girl has an attitude like "hehe... yeah, i'm mexican... and yeah, i'm obnoxious..." she implies that she is going to get away with it, over and over and over, every day, all day long, but she didn't, and she won't. the black guy is the same. they don't represent blacks and mexicans well at all. they want to be thought of as like gangsters on the street, but it is their make believe fantasy about an image, and real gangsters wouldn't want anything to do with them. the truth is that they are confused about what they are, and what people think about them, and are constantly panicking, trying to play it off in a smug, sleazy, cheesy way, that they think that they are cool.

i don't think that johnny depp ever got the mail which i sent to the viper room in 2007 about northern trust bank. like i stated, and like everyone knows, i didn't do anything unethical. i thought that it was my duty to communicate about northern trust bank, thinking that it was important for the world, like a child who just wanted to believe in something positive, in my purpose, especially after going through so much strange confusion and sadness. i wasn't interested in money, just wanted to feel good about helping the world out. i thought that people with money were going to help people with less money. after about 3 years, something didn't seem right about it, and i tried to protect people from the bank. there is nothing bogus going on with northern trust, it was just a weird misunderstanding about its' importance, and also weird delusion thinking that there was something wrong with it for about 2 years. i mailed 84 pages of writing work ("considering catalysis", but i think that i would have changed the title to "sunlight, and the unanimous acclaim") to the viper room in 2010, but i don't think that johnny depp got it. i am not pursuing work on a movie. maybe the guys at the viper room still have the work, if it arrived. i was happy with the overall scene to scene structure, but i was going to go back and change the dialogue. the main character, Boots, was just about to go to ethics class for the second time. i doubt that i could have made a movie out of it, but it would have been fun to try. maybe a book. it was intentionally sabotaged. 84 pages of work was about 20 or 30 minutes of time for the film idea. i wasn't finished with it.


i wish that people, who could get together on television, making a statement, would state something on my behalf. or actually, on behalf of the peace of the entire world. the people who are acting aggressively, toward me, and you, and everyone, think that they can get away with this, intentionally creating weird misery. they are miserable people, who want to make everyone miserable. i don't want to make people miserable. i want to protect people, stopping crap gossip from spreading, but i also don't want to create a problem. it is difficult, because my life is being obstructed very very badly, every day. you know that i am being stalked, and harassed. why doesn't someone make a public statement about me, wanting to try to protect me? is it because you think that you would be making it all about me, and not enough about you? really? well, i thought that it would mean that it was about both of us, or everyone. you know, there is a book, called the bible, with a dude name jesus, which everyone all over the world knows about. is it really such a big deal? is the fact that the sun is the center of the solar system, and that it rises every 24 hours, a big deal? is it a big deal that there are churches all over the world? really? you know what? who cares? so what? deal with it. help me and everyone else out.


part of the reason that this mexican girl, who i really know is a mexican girl, who probably still lives in houston, texas, treats me in an abusive, psychologically cruel way, every day, all day long, publicly, is because she seems to think that she can hook up with a mexican guy, who has thug, obnoxious, unfriendly, rude like attitude, acting like he hates white people, or white guys. she seems to think that mexican guys will like her, for publicly harming a white guy. you know what? i am nice white guy, who just wants to be left alone. honestly, her behavior is indicative of mexican hate, towards whites.

this mexican girl barely allows me to accomplish any work, wanting ignorant people to think that if there is evidence of me accomplishing any work, that it means that everything is just fine, when it isn't. ignorant people read this stuff, and you think that my life is just fine, or that i can work, when it isn't, or when i can't, or when it is very difficult to accomplish work. she barely allows me to accomplish any work, and then doesn't want me, or anyone around me, to be happy, or to make spiritual progress, even if i do accomplish a little work. like making someone crawl on the ground, beating them, instead of leaving them alone, so that that can walk, gracefully. part of her hustle is that she wants people to think that my complaint is fake, or that other people who are also complaining are fake, and evil. she is so disgusting, and weird, and evil, childish, that i have cried several times. i am so tired of this stalker, and lurker. also like paris hilton. i am trying to read about Etsy shipping options.


my girlfriend's doctor thought that she had diverticulitis, so the doctor gave her antibiotics, and it seems to be ok for about 1 month or 5 weeks. we don't know what is wrong with her, or we don't know how to fix what is wrong with her. she had some dental work done, and was taking large amounts of ibuprofen, and we think that it caused a problem in her stomach, which we are thinking maybe contributed to a digestive problem. she also developed a hiatal hernia, and she has been having a lot of trouble for about 6 months. acid reflux, stomach cramping, burping, and she still has a digestive problem, but we don't know what is causing, or what caused, what. she is going to consider having surgery to fix the hernia, if possible, and hopefully that will help with her other issues. i worried about people tampering with her insurance paperwork, or medical care process, because people know about our conversations about what is going on, and what insurance company she has. we lack privacy, so it makes us vulnerable to unwanted aggression.

look at 'important 2' section of this website. mexican girl who is knowingly playing stupid, mean, evil games knew that i was innocent. she tried to wrongfully defame me. she tried to have me killed and wrongfully defame me at the same time. it means that she has a weird, childish fantasy about people thinking that she is something which she isn't. she is a weird loser. i wish that i could get rid of her, and this black guy. doesn't mean that i hate all mexicans and blacks.

LOOK YA'LL. I DON'T WANT TO JUST COMPLAIN. MY LIFE IS KNOWINGLY BEING OBSTRUCTED, REALLY REALLY BADLY. I AM BEING MADE HORRIBLY SICK EVERY DAY, AND IT IS VERY CONFUSING AND SAD FOR SO MANY PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD. THE PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THIS ARE MAKING A SICK GAME OF IT, LIKE CHILDREN BULLYING SOMEONE IN SCHOOL, TRYING TO GET OTHER KIDS TO JOIN IN WITH THEM. I KNOW THAT I DON'T HAVE PRIVACY. I WANT TO CREATE SOMETHING GOOD FOR THE COMMUNITY, BUT IT IS SORT OF IMPOSSIBLE, UNLESS YOU CAN FIGURE OUT A WAY OF PROTECTING ME. EVEN IF I DON'T COMMUNICATE THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM, OTHER PEOPLE WILL. AT LEAST YOU SEE THAT OTHER PEOPLE AND MYSELF ARE IN AGREEMENT ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPNENING. I MEAN, I ASSUME THAT YOU ARE READING SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES THIS. I CAN'T SUPPORT ANYONE IF I AM NOT SUPPORTED. I DON'T MEAN WITH MONEY FROM ART SALES, ALTHOUGH THAT WOULDN'T HURT. MONEY FROM ART SALES IS NOT GOING TO FIX THE PROBLEM, BUT IT WILL HELP. I THINK. I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE IT WILL MAKE IT WORSE. I MEAN THAT I REALLY CAN'T SUPPORT ANYONE, UNLESS I AM MORALLY SUPPORTED, OR OFFICIALLY RESPECTED, PUBLICLY, I MEAN WITH PEOPLE WANTING ME IN PERSON TO KNOW THAT THEY OFFICIALLY DEFENDED ME, PUBLICLY. ALSO PARIS HILTON DOING WHAT SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE A LONG TIME AGO, SENDING ME $150 BACK AND LETTING ME KNOW IF SHE WENT ON TMZ, MAKING REFERENCE TO ME, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT SHE DID. SHE SHIT ALL OVER ME, PUBLICLY, LIKE SHE THOUGHT THAT IT WAS FUN. I THINK THAT HER MOM LIKES IT, TOO. I CAN NOT SUPPORT THE COMMUNITY IF I AM NOT SUPPORTED, OR RESPECTED, PUBLICLY. IT IS LIKE YOU ARE IMPLYING THAT A CAR WHICH DOESN'T HAVE AIR IN THE TIRES SHOULD TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE. IT WON'T. MAYBE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE. OK, FINE. THAT IS YOU. I DO WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE.


this black man has been harassing me again when i masturbate for a while, and also when i am intimate with my girlfriend, being weird, really rude and creepy, childish, like he is implying, "ah, nah, you don't be with her, i be with her.", stupidly, childishly, dishonestly, trying to make it seem like he thinks that he is a player, when i know that black girls state that they hate him, complicating EVERYONE"S peace, sense of security, sense of coziness, and happiness, because he is jealous or envious of the attention my girlfriend and i get. i am not being stuck up, or self centered. he is real creepy, sleazy, and dumb, wanting to be thought of as this. he pretends as if he thinks that women like him, even when they state that they don't. i am not ashamed of anything. if he had been cool and respectful, i wouldn't care if he acted a little aggressively when i was masturbating or having sex, but he isn't cool or respectful. he is a blatantly ugly, weird, evil pig. he also tries to get weak black women to say that they like what he is doing, or that they like him, when they actually don't.

not only is it a mockery of christ, but a mockery of a loving God.

doesn't all of this seem confused? it is because i am being made horribly sick, also trying to defend the community. i am never at peace like people ordinarily are. it confuses my behavior. this mexican girl is trying to have me killed, by making me, and people who i am in activity with so sick and crazy, that she thinks that she can have me killed, and also dishonor me at the same time. why don't you arrange for me to be put to sleep peacefully at a hospital, if you can, or at least tell me what you think about that, or why it wouldn't work?

the Etsy shop name is WorkingFromWithinCo. Michele Newton is the shop owner. i have to list items for sale, in order for it to be found. we are working on it.

people should not really expect me to make them feel better, or to create something really positive. i am intentionally being made sick every day. this is reality, not a fairy tale. no, i am not trying to hustle you. the few people who are intentionally making me sick, do it intentionally, because they know that i could have built something peaceful, and spiritual, if they would have left me alone, and they didn't want that, because i would have been more popular than they would have been. no, this is not a hustle. it is dirty, ugly, sleazy, evil politics. people are lying, wanting people to know that they are lying, stating that i am faking being sick, making a sick game of this. the people who are intentionally causing problems, are trying to recruit sleazy, evil, shady people. they want people to know that they are trying to make someone who can do more than they can do, unpopular, because they are flaunting being unintelligent and lazy. they want to make it about low class people being dominant. they made themselves unpopular, publicly, so they didn't want me to be popular, publicly, so they pretend as if they have an excuse to obstruct my life, and lie about me. like i stated below, i would appreciate it if the police would come to my home, informing me that they made a statement about me, and that they are aware of what is happening. i would feel as if the world community was being protected. i would also like it if i could be put to sleep at a hospital. it is like the movie 'alien 2', when they find the woman who is cocooned, and she is begging them to kill her. no, i am not crazy, or schizophrenic. do you want children to think about this? or parents don't even want to tell them about it? what happened to happy, peaceful christmas mornings, or christmas eves? you would have to protect me, in order for it to be happy, or peaceful, or secure. you know, sometimes churches or mosques or synagogues have police officers standing by. do you know why? because there are weird, childish, sadistic people out there, who try to upset happy people's peace. if they don't think that they can get away with it, publicly, then they won't try to do it. real simple.


black women in america think that they can fuck with everyone, a sick, childish, ugly game with computers, wanting people to think that maybe the russians should be blamed, even when black women want people to know that they were responsible for it. not only are they stupid and rude, but they are cowards (black women). if black women want to start world war III, they can do it. always trying to create a double standard. "oh, look how mean the white boy is..." or, "oh, look how white people don't like black people." why would they like you, after you have treated everyone the way in which you have treated them? like i stated, i didn't start the trouble, and then i showed them more love than a white person ordinarily would. not only did they start this crap, they want to stupidly perpetuate it.

a few black women want black women to think that they have an opportunity to harm me, including with my personal Etsy business. they have a motive to harm me, trying to cover up the fact that they are the problem. they are in a weird public denial about the fact that they are, or have been, the problem. i showed black people more love and respect than most people ordinarily would. guess what? they prove that they are not loving, or that they are dishonest and fake, and abrasive. i am so sick of thinking about uncivilized black women in america. i want them out of my life. i want this black guy, who works with them, out of my life. i want this mexican girl out of my life. i want paris hilton out of my life. she doesn't want to get out of my life, because she tries to trick ignorant people into thinking that she was never in my life. she is evil.

people shouldn't rubberneck. the government, or FBI, should not rubberneck. this is a very serious, horrible, weird situation, which will affect the world for thousands of years. it has the potential to make it a dangerous, unstable place. an authoritative body should put out a concise statement, in order to prevent frivolous gossip from being created, or disseminated.

this mexican girl, and black guy, keep going on about george h. w. bush and northern trust bank, and it really is the most stupid, fake, childish, annoying shit that you could possible imagine, since they know that it was mostly the black guy's fault. it is like they are children, wanting people to think that i am involved with a bank, or that something is interesting about a bank, when i am not involved with a bank. it also seems like a lame, boring childish black, and a lame, boring, childish mexican, keep wanting to associate themselves with white men (bush and myself), who are public people, because they think that it makes them (the black and the mexican) seem more interesting, or powerful, or political. i am a sweet nerd, white boy, who wanted to help everyone. there was an understandable misunderstanding about who, or what, this black guy was, in the past, and also what he meant, since he was not communicating with words, so it really isn't that interesting. i also, initially, had experiences, including with the supernatural, which confused me, and people already understand this, so we are sick of these lame, boring, childish people, pretending as if they don't understand what is what. i was like a child who wanted to help the world, and then a few people get themselves into trouble, and start making up all kinds of incredibly stupid, blatant lies about me.

this black guy, mexican girl, a few black women, and paris hilton are weird, and cruel, and preying on people. hilton wants ignorant people to think that i am the person who is weird. no. she is weird. she likes this shit which she intentionally created, thinking that it works for her, some way, for publicity. they all want attention, like little children. i am not the one who is doing that. i am trying to put out fires. i have much better things to do, and to think about, than this crap which these people engage in. they are childish and crazy, stalking people, preying on people, using this situation as a form of media. even if i didn't communicate something, they know that other people would.

this black guy, who is knowingly causing problems, is a bitch ass, wimpy ass, evil ass, weird ass, childish ass, puny ass negro. the mexican girl is the same as he is. they admit to being evil and shady, trying to recruit evil, shady people. i wish that i could just call the police, to file a report. a few black women are doing the same, trying to recruit evil, shady black girls. what is their objective? really? to be angry, childish haters their entire life? i think that black women wanted black women, or everyone, to know that they deleted an email from my automobile insurance company (proof of insurance card) which was sent to me last week. i had automobile insurance, just without my proof of insurance, for 1 month, because they didn't mail me the proof of insurance card, when my policy renewed for the year. people witnessed the conversation between me and the insurance agent over the phone, when he stated that he sent the email, and then asked me if i received it. i checked my email the next day, and it wasn't there, not in my junk email mail either. i drove the next day to my insurance company, and got a proof of insurance card, and they also verified that they had the correct email address. i get email regularly from my automobile insurance company. i think that black women are playing a childish hustle game, like they do, like they have done for years, deleting my email, maybe because a black girl works at microsoft outlook (hotmail), trying to make it look like i am paranoid, if no other email is knowingly deleted. they may also think that it gives them an opportunity to delete my email (Etsy orders?), thinking that someone else can get the blame. who would have deleted my automobile proof of insurance card, other than childish, creepy, evil black women, playing a game, with an attitude so ugly that it is incomprehensible? really? just like they stole my mail to TMZ, more than once, because of the paris hilton incident which they lie about, wanting people to know that they are lying about it, wanting people to know that they stole the mail. i know what these few black women do, or are doing. they tell black girls, who they think that they can recruit for some reason, who they think are evil and shady, to engage in crime, but also cover it up, or be shady and slick about it. i don't know what they are wanting to gear up for. it is like they want to play a make believe game, that they have power, or should be feared. power for what? why? why do they want to be feared? they do this to fuel white people rage, in this situation, so that they can stupidly imply that people should be sorry for black women, or for black people, because they are implying that white people don't like it. they are right! white people don't like it. just like other people, including black people, don't like it!

this black guy and mexican girl want people to think that they have an excuse to blatantly harm others, and blatantly obstruct everyone's life, as long as they can stupidly, dishonestly imply that they are wanting to be thought of as friendly, making a sick joke of it, or about how they know that it isn't friendly. they are creepy, evil and sadistic. they fight ugly and dirty, and there is nothing to fight about.

people should really try to have me put to sleep at a hospital. this is not good for the world community to gossip about. it is destructive and scary. unhealthy.



i am not with stupid, mean blacks, or stupid, mean mexicans, or stupid, mean asians, OR stupid, mean whites. do you get it? i am stuck in the middle of this. i really just want to be left alone, blending in to everyone else. some childish, boring, socially lame people, want to make a story about me every, because they get a thrill from it. it really isn't that interesting.


sorry if i am getting on your nerves, but the few people who are knowingly and blatantly acting up, obnoxious, childish, are getting on my nerves. some black people try to create a double standard, so that they can imply that they have leverage over other types of people, because they want to be thought of as dominant. i think that many black people, if not all of them, have a type of hidden agenda amongst themselves; that being, that they want to make others feel inferior, or dominated, because of some confusion they have about themselves, thinking that they are inferior, or that people think that they are inferior. something in america, left over from slavery. they should let it go. this is honest, objective analysis, not me communicating white supremacist crap. i am really tired of the ugly, childish aggression which i get every day, all day long. they want to use their aggression toward me as a way of trying to intimidate other people, but i don't think that it will work. it is like they have an attitude like, "oh yeah, well if you think that i'm inferior, i'm gonna hurt you", while intentionally wanting people to think that their behavior indicates that they are inferior.



applaud to the cast of 'jesus christ, superstar'. i just saw it with my mom at theater under the stars, in downtown houston. i wish that i could buy the cast and crew a piece of cake, and cup of coffee. or i could just make some cakes and coffee. my faith is being tested, as i think that yours is, too. stay strong. good show.

i am being made sick every day. doesn't it seem like it is weird for a person to keep communicating about the same thing? i mean me. it is because they are confusing me, making me mentally sick, not wanting me to be more popular than they are, publicly. it is like poisoning someone, so that they are sick and can't work efficiently. they thought that my internet work was a problem for them, so now they are intentionally provoking me and obstructing, intentionally causing me to defend myself, acting weird or unusual, so that they think that it is a problem for me, and my reputation.

i don't hate all black people, even though these few black people who are intentionally causing problems want black people to think. they try to make black people think that i don't like them, in order to try to make black people not like me. the same is true of this mexican girl, trying to make all mexicans think that i hate them. i don't. they try to make blacks and mexicans think that i hate them, by being blatantly weird and mean to me. they try to make me be hated by blacks and mexicans, since they want blacks and mexicans thinking that i hate them. it is a stupid childish game they are playing.

the problem which i think that people know about is not with everyone. it is with a few people who i am in activity with, who have weird mental problems. they like causing me to have nervous breakdowns in public, because they find it amusing, knowing that i can't defend myself, other than with the internet. the tone of this is like being raped, and robbed, by weird, violent criminals with a gun.

this is like being stuck in a psychiatric ward, or a jail cell, with a weird black man and a weird mexican girl, who are are evil, mean, angry and dangerous. they engage in weird, childish racism. childish, weird sadism. they are weird, childish racists, wanting people to think that america it is their turf, and that thugs should dominate. they act like little obnoxious children, who are angry, wanting to harm people, because they think that people think that they are inferior. it is their thought. i am not saying it. they are saying it. it is like they are both admitting to thinking that they are inferior, and angry and confused about it. it is really weird, and sad, how they want to blatantly destroy people's lives, all day long, every day, like they want people to think that they think of it as a weird, childish game (because the police, or no one else can protect me?). they want to destroy a white person's life, publicly, because they think that this particular white person (me) can do more than they can do, and it makes them angry. it is racially motivated. they have weird, angry mental problems. i am not stuck up, and a good person to work with, if you know me personally.

paris hilton wants people to think that i am begging her for special attention. no. i just want her to take care of ordinary business, as ordinary business would, or should, ordinarily be taken care of. i didn't want special treatment. i just wanted fair treatment. she is wanting my special attention, and i think that husband does too, and she makes me, and other people, uncomfortable, and want to puke.

in case you haven't figured it out, some cruel, weird, childish people, are blatantly disrespectful to me, publicly, in order to make a mockery of christ. guess what? go save yourselves, since i am being made sick. i am not a robot. i am a human being who can only do so much. it is like i am being raped every day by weird freaks. i wouldn't care if it was just stupid, whatever gossip, but when they obstruct, it changes everything. it means that it is impossible for me to do a job, trying to make it a better place.

paris hilton wants people to think that she had a thing with the messiah, or that God liked her (when i really didn't) in order to try to make it seem like she is more interesting, than the boring, rich kid hilton, who she thinks people think of her as. she has always been involved in a cheesy, evil publicity scheme. i can't wait to die, so that i don't have to think about paris hilton, or nicky hilton, ever again. i wasn't a fan of hers. i was neutral, but then discovered that i shouldn't be neutral. she wanted to use me for publicity. she likes this shit, but she will play dumb. her publicity is a evil scheme.

this mexican girl is like a girl who has been busted by the cops, who is in an interrogation room, in a weird, incredibly stupid denial, about the fact that she is busted, and going no where, wanting to rudely waste everyone's time, trying to confuse the cops, when they know without a doubt that she is guilty. she is a stupid evil mexican coward, who doesn't want to take responsibility for what she has done, and is doing. this black guy is the same type of person. it is like he wants to be known as a gangster, who intentionally wants people to think that he fakes being cool. really weird, really childish, and really stupid personality. they are both trying to confuse ignorant people, trying to make people think that we don't understand that there are actually 2 people. they were trying to use it against people, now they think that they can't, or that they make blacks and mexicans look stupid, together, so now they are trying to make it seem like they are the same person, turning on each other, like piranha, who attack and eat each other. like people in the drug scene, who turn on each other, once they have been busted.

this black guy and mexican girl are some kind of weird creature (alien), which is perverted, childish, sadistic, angry, and negative, which likes to prey on happy, peaceful people, it seems like because of envy, wanting to make peaceful, happy people negative, causing insanity. it is like an animal. it is scary, and i wish that the u.s. government would make a statement about this, attempting to protect the world. this affects the entire world. it is like a country, with an evil, insane dictator, invading another country, not caring about how many innocent people are harmed. it thinks that it is different, so it doesn't try to be the same, wanting to attempt to dominate. it is trying to survive, as something different. i think that a unified public government statement would deter this creature from attempting to dominate. it would confuse the creature. this creature assumes that i will not have any official defense.

this mexican girl tries to make ignorant people, who don't know me personally, think that people are making up stories about how she is causing us to struggle, because she tries to make ignorant people think that everyone but her is evil, including me. she is weird. like she wants people to know what she is doing, making a sick joke of it, wanting to attract a mean, unfriendly mexican guy, who thinks that shady people, like her, are cool. she preys on people. weird mental problem. doesn't want to do honest work. wants to be thought of as like a drug dealer, who will fight, harming innocent people, in order to avoid doing honest work, trying to attract mexican guys who think the same way.

these few blacks and this mexican are like thugs, who can't keep up with a civil, friendly white person. they are like people in jail, who are implying that it is their turf. they are trying to intimidate people. these few black people are especially problematic, with real ugly, sleazy, thug attitudes. just move somewhere else, so that they don't get some weird domination thrill. it is sad, because i really wanted to have black friends, but the black people who attack me make me hate the thought of blacks. they do this intentionally, in order to try to make me unpopular, because they thought that people, including blacks, thought that i was more popular than they are. it is just a very few blacks who are doing this.

a few blacks and a mexican who desperately want to make a white person unpopular, because they are unpopular, even amongst blacks and mexicans. it is constant weird harassment. we can't work. it has been this way since the beginning of 2013, when this mexican girl told everyone that she wasn't committed, and didn't give a fuck about anyone. stereotypical evil obnoxious female mexican gold digger, who thinks too much about her stupid looks, who didn't care about real work, or caring about a white guy in front of mexicans. it is so weird how this mexican tries so hard to get out of doing honest work, like a drug dealer. weird coward, who wants people to think that she is macho. it is so stupid. like she wants to be thought of as a mexican drug dealer, who will do anything to get out of doing honest work, making a sick joke of it. ella es basura mexicana. mean blacks and a mean mexican, but that doesn't mean that i think that all blacks and mexicans are mean. this is what happens when the police don't, or can't protect a special public person. weird childish people stalk you, or stalk everyone, wanting to know that they are stalking you. they are weird and dangerous. they think of it as a childish game, since they think that they can't be stopped. they want to play with me and everyone else. it is very cruel and destructive. they are stupid, like pigs who don't care about living in a pig pen, or creating an environment, like a pig pen. if i wasn't communicating about it, other people still would be. i don't want to create a pig pen.

this situation was a convenient way for hilton to harm me. she wants people to think that she has an "excuse" to be cruel and disrespectful to me, or to ignore me, not conducting important public business, so that others will be cruel and disrespectful to me, intentionally making me angry in public, so that she can imply that i was no good, or that she was better than i was, her whatever evil publicity. she probably complains to her husband about me not stopping communicating about it, but she obviously didn't want to make it stop. what she really thinks that is that people think that people with less money are better than she is, or have more character, and it pisses her off. i don't want to be together with paris hilton. i want her to take care of business, and then get the fuck away from me, my family, my girlfriend, and my dogs. she wanted to use me for publicity. you know what? i am a sweet, cheerful white boy. it makes other people, who are not cheerful, hate me, and want to harm me, publicly, wanting to confuse me, and turn me into an angry person, like they are making a sick joke of it, or like they want to make a mockery of someone who is cheerful by nature. this is a really sad situation. it will be a weird story about how weird, deranged monsters attacked people, wanting to know that they thought that it was fun. like terrorism. this is what happens when the police can't, or don't protect a special, public person from the public. really not difficult to understand. it is a security problem for the world, and people seem to be sweeping it under the rug.

the TMZ broadcast was sometime, 1 week before halloween, 2008, in case anyone wants to try to get to the bottom of it. isn't it a privacy law violation? paris hilton making a statement about me, joshua mishler, without my official knowledge, making me a target for the public. most people didn't know who i was, and didn't understand the nature of the relationship with hilton. she wanted to make it about her, and her over rated cheesy TMZ crap. she has TMZ in her back pocket, or they have her in their back pocket.

what are people worried about? i mean, it seems like you are scared of something. are people worried that the roman soldiers are going to come to their home, and take them away? is Pontius Pilate looking for me, or for you? really? are we worried that the cops are going to arrest us? no. are the cops afraid? why? i thought that the cops were cool, and that they were supposed to be our friends, and have authority. i didn't think that they were supposed to look powerless, along with the united states government. is president biden worried about Pontius Pilate? i wouldn't complain like this, but there is a very very serious, weird social problem all over the world because no one makes an official statement, protecting me, or ensuring my rights, trying to prevent people from acting aggressive, and childishly. leave me the F alone!

it really does seem like hilton has a mental problem. the problem which she created for america and the world is very serious, and what is more serious, is that she acts like she doesn't care about trying to fix it, or like she thinks that it was fun, or interesting, and part of her dumb blonde image. it seems like she angrily wanted, back in 2008, or wants, to force people to think about her, and to communicate about her. like she really doesn't think much about herself. she isn't socially cool. she is a childish, weird, irresponsible, socially lame nuisance. people would read this, and think that i am the one who is angry. no. i have so many reasons to be happy, and paris hilton's weird weird, cruel, very confusing, public disrespect toward me, and the community, is not one of them. i think that her mommy likes it, on some creepy, weird hilton hotel $ power trip. is she cruel, too? is that where paris gets it from? or dumb? what hilton does, or continues to do, is like the weird drama which lindsay lohan created, right before she went off of the radar. it is supposed to be thought of a childish and weird, and they do it, trying to get more hype in the media.

the people, or creatures, who are intentionally attacking the world, have made us mentally sick for years, and keep reinfecting our minds, every day, all day long. they are weird, sick, sadistic creatures. they don't seem human. it is a threat to the entire world, because i am in activity with people all over the world. it is not just the united states, but the entire world. we need strong leadership in government. that is what they did in rome, with the bible. information control. the gossip about this situation, as it is, and as it has been for years, is unhealthy, and dangerous, for the world to continue to spread, century after century, without a controlled, unified message. these creatures who are attacking us are childish, and insane. very very dangerous. it will be a negative story. that is what they want. i am a positive person, but i am being made mentally sick every day. like being poisoned or drowned by sadistic thugs, who are implying that low class thugs are going to dominate. much worse than you could imagine. i want to help stop the spread of the negative, but i don't want to contribute toward the negative. i could use some actual help, from actual communication, with actual people.

what is the big deal, in making an international story about me, in order to protect the world community? doesn't everyone know about jesus? doesn't everyone know about the bible? then what is the big deal about knowing about me? it seems like people are making a weird, big deal of this, when it really isn't a big deal. you make me feel terrible. sick. that doesn't help the world, since people who don't understand english, in different parts of the world, are going to be communicating about this. make a story, in order to control the story, or to control what type of story it is. do you understand? don't let it get out of hand. make it positive. i really can't do that by myself, because of the way which i am being blatantly stalked and harassed every day. it is like stating that a car which keeps getting hit with a sledgehammer shouldn't have dents in it, or look bad.

i don't want to mess up my opportunity to be happy, selling art, not wanting to complicate that, by communicating unnecessarily. i also want to fight against mean, dishonest people. i sort of feel like i would be a phony, if all of a sudden, i thought that i couldn't express myself, just because i wanted to make money.

obviously i am in pain. i wish that the u.s. government would protect me, and the entire world. i believe that it could be coordinated, if people cared enough, and tried. circumstantial evidence would be good enough. this constant 24/7 activity group can prove on tv that they activity is real with a test.

these people can keep acting stupid if they want to. they are the losers. they are like thugs who are so stupid, that not even thugs would follow them. paris hilton is a thug, too.

this black guy and mexican girl have a very serious, very sick attitude problem. their souls are disgusting, like they are part animal, or actually, it seems as if they don't have a soul. they are attacking the entire planet, because of how they know that i am in activity with people, all over the world, trying to create negative gossip about me, and i don't want to harm anyone. they think that they only way that they can survive is to create a negative story, so that they think that someone will kill me, now, or the next time i am here. they are trying to take people's freedom away from them, including mine. the government should make a statement. the gossip will continue for thousands of years. fix it, now. they want people to think that i don't know what i am communicating about, when i state that it is a black guy and a mexican girl. i do know.

paris hilton created problems, which caused black women to create problems, which caused this black guy create problems, which caused this mexican girl to create problems, and hilton knows about this, and doesn't act like she cares about fixing it for the community. she is a puke rich, childish, irresponsible, thug like, con artist person. i think that she wanted to copy donald trump when she was young, in new york. cheese.

a few blacks, and a mexican, who want to bully a white person in public, treating me in an inhumane way, because they have a weird, childish, inferiority complex. i am not stuck up. they are confused because THEY think that they are less, and also because they think THAT OTHERS think that they are less. they act like little obnoxious children. i am a nice white person, too. ask people who know me, personally. they want people to know what they are doing, like they are complaining about their own thought, of their own inferiority. like i stated, they are panicking, and trying to get people to not like me. they want ignorant people to think that, because of the way which this crap looks on the internet, that i was the problem to begin with. no. they couldn't keep up with a nerd white boy, who just wanted to work, so they obstruct.

people who thought that they had, or have, less, wanted to start some stupid shit. they have an inferiority complex. i am not stuck up. this doesn't mean that i am stuck up, or self centered. i wanted to work. they didn't want to work. it was a social problem for them, and consequently, they created a social problem for everyone else. buy a gun, and be responsible with it. i think that, usually, or all of the time, that the problem with gangs, is that one group starts some stupid shit with another group, for no good reason.

one way you could think about this, is that it is a few blacks and a mexican, weird, insecure, childish, flipping fucking out, publicly, because they think that people think that blacks and mexicans are inferior, publicly, because i am white. this doesn't mean that i think that blacks and mexicans are inferior. they are panicking, thinking about trying to get something for themselves, which they thought that they couldn't get. i am not stating that blacks and mexicans are inferior. i don't want to create a problem for blacks and mexicans. it is a very few blacks and one mexican, who want blacks and mexicans to hate me, and i didn't do anything to them. i have tried to help them. it is also like they are intentionally implying that blacks and mexicans should be thought of as inferior, or not God like, but also dominant. get away from me. get away from my family and my dogs. get out of my house. tell people to buy a gun, but be responsible with it.

this black guy and mexican girl want people to think that, because they are weird alien shit, that they can harm people, and be ugly, and be evil, and get people to give them what they want, and get away with it. no. it won't work. guess what? i am weird alien shit, too, but i like to be funny, and helpful, and i like to work, myself, for what i have.

me being here won't change society. it already was what it was, or it already is what it is. evil people should leave good people alone. evil people are attacking good people, because they are insecure, or because they have an inferiority complex. why wouldn't christ have changed all of society, last time? or the time before that, or the time before that? it is not a fairy tale. why is there evil in the world, since christ was perfect, and was supposed to make everything perfect. some people you can't change. or some people don't care. if you want to get the police or government involved, in order to make a public statement, stating that they know what is going on, also informing me that they have done this, then fine. i think that would help. don't expect me to really help society, when you leave me vulnerable and defenseless, to weird, evil, childish predators, who blatantly obstruct my life all day long, day after day. these people who are stupidly attacking us, everyone, think that they can get away with it, because they is no major, unified, authoritative, public consensus, about how they are a problem, and also about how i am not in any trouble, or that i have rights.

i deleted this, but am posting it again. this one particular black guy and one particular mexican girl want to humiliate me, an innocent white person, because they think that people think that the situation implies that maybe there is truth to the concept of white supremacy, because of how they are known to be evil, or something not God like. their behavior is understandable, because they think that they make all blacks and mexicans seem inferior. i don't want to create a problem for blacks and mexicans. they do. i am not stating that all blacks and mexicans are inferior. they are trying to make blacks and mexicans hate me, because they think that it enables them to more easily get along with blacks and mexicans, since they are not liked by blacks and mexicans.

they are desperately trying to trip me up, so that i don't look good selling art, but i don't think that people who really understand what is going on, think that i am a problem.

george h. w. bush didn't do anything wrong, or evil. i didn't do anything wrong, or evil, considering how i was confused. this black guy and mexican INTEND to do something wrong, or evil. that is what the problem is.

am i just supposed to take this stupid shit from other people, without fighting back? i mean, because this is a constant public situation. do you understand the problem? what they are doing is argumentative, and obstructive. obstructive! for everyone! because it is a public situation! if we don't fight, then evil people win, or seem dominant. they try to get evil people to group together, sort of like weird republicans. stupid shit, like paris hilton, too.

it is like i am on tv, and some weird, childish, stupid, blatantly obnoxious, blatantly evil person is hitting me, or urinating on me, also on tv, wanting to humiliate me in a weird way, which doesn't make any sense. would a person who is on tv fight back, publicly? or would they just do nothing and take it, looking weak and stupid? guess what? because it is a public situation, it makes you fight. the people who are the stupid aggressors know that i will fight back, because i have to in order to remain calm, or less confused, because they know that i am right, and that they are wrong. then they want people to think that i have an attitude problem, when i don't. they just try to make a person who they think looks better than them, look stupid, because they think that people think that they are stupid. i'll try to keep cool on the internet.

it would seem like i am childish. i'm not. i am an adult who wants to be left alone, in peace and quiet. people try to make me seem like i am childish, because they don't want to work like adults.

this mexican girl thinks that the black guy makes her looks stupid, so she lies about george h. w. bush and northern trust bank, trying to make it look like i did something wrong, or that i deserve to be attacked. he has an attitude like (thug, cheesy, insecure, dumb, sleazy, scary) "yeah, i do be stupid, but act like you like me, mo dan him." he lies about george h. w. bush and northern trust bank, too. they send each other signals to both lie about it, and attack me, because they think that people think that they are the problem, and are insecure about it.

they won't allow us to rest. they fuck our brain up really bad every morning, before we get out of bed, so that the entire day is confused, continuing to attack us steady, throughout the entire day.

this is like a nerd white boy teacher, in a classroom with obnoxious kids, trying to get it under control. guess what? i can't send them out of the room to see the principal, or give them detention.

these lame, weird, childish liars keep trying to make ignorant people think that george h. w. bush is important. he isn't. it was just a misunderstanding. they know this, but keep trying to involve me, or themselves, with a former president. we are all so sick of their stupid evil shit. i am not evil. i wanted to help people. i was just confused about what was going on. they know that i am not evil. they are actually wanting to make a mockery of a sweet, honest guy.

i wouldn't care if paris hilton and her mother did something on tv, reality show whatever, if paris had been respectful toward me. she wasn't. she wasn't respectful toward anyone, like she is making a sick joke about being a rich, childish, disrespectful dumb blonde. this is a difficult situation to be stuck in, and paris knew this, and i simply wanted to conduct business, like business is ordinarily conducted, not wanting to play the hilton sister, weird, puke childish game.

i accidentally deleted the 'visual' section in this website about 1 week ago. i am reconstructing what was in it.

i wish that people would tell me that i don't need to fight anymore, and that they understand what is going on. i am sick of this shit. i may delete some more when i get back from work this week. i am not the one who keeps going on and on. this is what happens when the police can't protect someone who is being stalked, harassed.

the hiltons are childish, disrespectful, puke rich fools. at least i have a soul. paris hilton is trying to trick ignorant people, who don't know me personally, including her parents, into thinking that i am the problem, or that people who know me well think that i am the problem, when they don't. no. she is the one who is weird, and childish, and socially lame. paris hilton. a socialite? what does that mean? that she is around lame, childish, rich people all of the time. she is socially lame, and weird, childish, and tries bully her parents, and her weak sister, into thinking that i am the one who is socially lame, or that people think that i am the one who is socially lame, when they don't. she tries to trick them, by treating me in a weird, abusive manner, publicly, in order to inevitably cause me to act unusually, in an unusual situation. actually, i think that they know what she is doing, and are in on it, like a scheme, pretending as if they think that they have more value, or are worth more, than God. paris is a type of demon, and they know this, but are in a really weird, lame hilton, puke rich denial about it.

my Etsy shop, 'WorkingFromWithin', may not be findable, maybe because we didn't finalize it, with bank account information. i can see something on my computer, which looks like there is something there.

try this:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/WorkingFromWithin


all i know is that it is mixing together, and that i don't want to cause problems for people. don't cause unnecessary problems for me, or others.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj5nH0O8lmg

hilton is an ugly, childish bully. she scares me. her family scares me, too. a few other girls were bullies, too. we need strong, mature female leadership. maturity. not cheesy childish girl games. i don't want to keep going on about it, but i also don't want to allow them to get away with it, since they don't stop. they imply that they are going to get away with it, but they won't.

hilton is not a lady, with real class (public pornography, drug usage, disobeying the law, situation involving me), but hilton hotels are now stupidly try to portray her as being a lady, having real class, making her their advertising icon. she could have chosen to not do that, but she didn't, which means that she really doesn't care. the hilton family and the hilton hotel executives are childish, weird and fake. it is such a disrespectful attitude for the hotel executives to have toward former, and potential customers, because it is like the hotel is stating "we have made so much money from you, and we really don't give a fuck about your feelings, or our reputation."

paris hilton and her mom would want to fool ignorant people about my character, wanting them to think that i am the problem, or that i am some weird person. no. i just wanted, or want to conduct normal business as normal business is normally conducted, without childish, unnecessary, stupid girl games. paris hilton is weird, and rude, and irresponsible, and childish, and cruel. they flaunt being rich and childish. guess what? at least i have a soul. they want to be dumb blondes, together. go ahead. you are not cool, just because you are puke rich. you know this already, and you also know that the media is superficial, and can be sort of cheesy. she thought that people would find it interesting, and tune in for more, desperate for publicity, and didn't care about her reputation. she never really had to care about her reputation, because of her wealth.


the few girls who care causing problems won't move on. it is like being childishly stalked by an ex wife or ex girlfriend, or some girl who i rejected, who can't handle rejection, publicly.


my girlfriend and i are going to set up an Etsy store (Etsy.com) under her name, Michele Ann Newton, with her bank account. we will still have to pay taxes as anyone else would. an Etsy store (Etsy.com) named 'WorkingFromWithin' is currently set up under my name, Joshua Evan Mishler. it is not possible to purchase anything yet. i apologize if people have become frustrated with the amount of time which it is taking to set up the shop, or the ability to purchase. my girlfriend has to do the initial work for security reasons, and she only has so much free time. we will keep the store name the same, 'WorkingFromWithin'. it will be set up under her name, Michele Ann Newton, as the shop owner. i am the worker. I will inform the public when it is possible to purchase.

i am concerned that some problematic black girls may attempt to sabotage my Etsy work, if they think that they can, like if they know a black girl who works at Etsy, who wants to play childish games, breaking the law.


it is not that i can't lead. some people don't want to follow, because it means that they would have to do more work, or make more effort, than they want to. it is creating a mess. for some reason, they want to unnecessarily involve me in their lives. they obstruct, every day, like they want people to think of it as a sleazy childish thug loser game, in order to try to make it look like i can't lead. it is not that i am so nervous, as it would seem. some people like to make me nervous in public, because they get a weird thrill, or are amused by it. it is sadism, and it illustrates something very bad about human nature. they also want you to think that i am faking being sick when i am not. i wish that the police or government would make a statement about what they know is going on, because this should never happen again.

it makes me think of an irresponsible, childish, lazy, sleazy girl, who would leave her child in a garbage dumpster, rather than take it to a child adoption facility. they couldn't handle the responsibility. they didn't want responsibility.

these girls who have, and are still causing problems, are childish and dangerous (paris hilton, some black women, this mexican girl). they intentionally didn't want to demonstrate love, or respect, toward me, publicly, because they thought that it would give men too much power, or that it would take power away from another man, or that it would mean that they would have to submit to difficult work, like i am forced to do. they didn't want to be humble, like they are acting like they are not willing to submit to work, or be cooperative, or contribute towards spiritual, social progress. they would have to be willing to contribute towards my spiritual, social progress, publicly, and i think that is where a problem exists. i don't mean stupidly kissing my ass. i mean a very basic, very simple amount of respect. i don't have the attitude problem. they do. i don't mean that all girls have an attitude problem.

i understand if people would think "josh, you shouldn't attack paris hilton's mother." guess what? she is attacking me, along with her puke rich daughter, on their whatever reality tv show they have. it is implied. hilton's mother implies that she supports her daughter, even if her daughter is childish, disrespectful, weird, greedy and cruel, to so many people. i have already communicated that i feel threatened by the entire hilton family. this is not a joke, or 'the simple life', which seems to be how paris hilton feels about it. her mommy fakes being cool, or thinking that she thinks that her daughter is cool, when she knows that she really isn't cool. rich, but not cool. they want to be in a relationship with their money, and not in a cool, loving, respectful relationship with the community, as a whole. it is like her mommy is stating "yes, we are childish, spoiled, and disrespectful, and we really don't give a damn about anyone, and paris is the leader." a weird, stupid denial about the fact that they are, or have been, a serious problem for the community. it is like they are in a constant, stupid stupor, wanting to dwell on themselves. like i stated, i feel threatened by them. paris hilton fucked up my life so bad, playing stupid, unnecessary games, and so now i hate her, and her family. this is not a game, or 'the simple life'. there is opportunity for her to fix it, but i doubt she will. it is like she destroyed (past tense) something which i was trying to build, leaving a pile of rubble, like she thought that it was fun and interesting to harm me, or humiliate me, a unique male, publicly, wanting to make it about herself. greedy, childish female. i would look at her with confused look, feeling threatened and disrespected, and say "huh, como?" paris hilton thinks that what she did was stupid, too, but that is all part of her dumb blonde gimmick. she has even called it a gimmick. that is how she markets herself, wanting to place the focus on her wealth, and not being talented, because she doesn't want to have to compete with, or compare herself to, real stars. i would like $150 back, and i would like to know if she went on TMZ in october of 2008 (sometime during the week before halloween), making reference to me by name. i know that she did, and she seems to have wanted to put me in harm's way. an apology would be good, too. not only for me, but the entire community.


what paris hilton did to me (and other people) is selfish, childish, weird and cruel. it confuses me, and makes me literally sick, to think that she gets the attention which she gets, in the media. obviously the people who work around her are so ignorant of the fact that she is a bad person, and they are wrongfully manipulated. paris isn't anything interesting, and her mommy isn't anything interesting either; hence, reality tv shows. paris is a piece of shady trash, and her family is shady trash, too.

i don't want to keep going on about this. sick of it.

it is a weird, insecure black guy, and a weird, insecure mexican girl who want to try to humiliate a decent white person, publicly, in america, because i am more popular than they are. not all blacks and mexicans would do this. this particular black and this particular mexican are insecure, and behave in a low class, unintelligent, sleazy thug like manner. they are also trying to promote low class, unintelligent, sleazy thug like behavior amongst blacks and mexicans. they are trying to promote a type of fake pride amongst blacks and mexicans. they are wanting to try to turn this into a stupid racial thing, confused about why they are what they are, with them wanting people to think that they are like celebrities when they are not. i don't think that it will work. most blacks and mexicans are nicer and smarter than that. this particular black guy and this particular mexican girl think that they made themselves look bad, or that they have made blacks and mexicans looks bad, so they are trying to humiliate me, a white person, so that they feel better about themselves, publicly. they won't feel better about themselves if they keep acting weird and mean.

i am not being allowed to rest, so my mind doesn't reset, or isn't able to think about my life differently. these people who are acting aggressively want us to feel threatened by them. they are admitting to being creeps, but implying that the police can't do anything about it, or that no one else can't do anything about it either. oh well. we are stuck, and it is very sad.

this mexican girl and black guy intentionally ruin the day, every day, by intentionally irritating me before i get out of bed every morning. they are not trying to help motivate me, or anyone else. they are making a sick joke about how they know that it is cruel. it is a horrible way to start the day. you can't concentrate or relax once you get out of bed. they imply that i don't have the right to get out of bed when i want to, or when i feel like it, just like everyone else does. freedom and peace. they are trying to trick ignorant people into thinking that they are being friendly, or loving, when they are not. they are reinforcing the notion that they are going to stalk me, each and every day, so it is damaging. they don't want me to be popular, because they are unpopular. they are also turning it into a racial issue, because they made themselves unpopular. they would rather make everyone, including themselves, unpopular, rather than leave me alone so that people know that i am healthy and productive.

i know what i am communicating about, when i state that this girl is a mexican girl, who probably still lives in houston, texas. she wanted people to know who she was, years ago, following me out into the community, wanting me to talk about it. now she is trying to confuse people about it, wanting them to think that maybe she is a mexican girl, or that maybe i don't know what i am communicating about, depending on whether or not she thinks that it will work for her when she talks with some hypothetical mexican guy in the future, trying to get money from him. she is an evil gold digger. she is trying to create opportunities for her to get along with some guy with money, whether he liked me or not, mixing things together, trying to confuse ignorant people, trying to get herself out of trouble, not caring at all about anyone. i wouldn't be surprised if she ends up being a drug addict, alcoholic, in jail, or institutionalized.

this mexican girl has a weird, angry, childish hatred of men, including george h. w. bush, or men with power, like me. she wants to childishly harm men, or a man's image, like christ. black women wanted to do the same thing. she thinks that women are inferior, or are thought to be inferior, and she doesn't like it. she stupidly attempts to make it seem like women are superior, doing it in a very stupid, childish way. she is weird, with a weird mental problem, who viciously attacks an innocent, defenseless man, every day, all day long, in order to try to make it seem like women are powerful, when she is nothing but a lazy coward, who will try to get out of doing honest work, in any way which she can. she tries to give women this image of strength in such a stupid, childish way, that it is ridiculous. it is totally absurd. all she has ever done, is to make a total mess of everyone's life, panicking. she is actually making a joke about how women are not strong, and annoying.

this mexican girl is desperately trying to have me killed by someone, or people, who i am in activity with, who she is making sick from all of her unnecessary, incredibly stupid aggression. i have communicated this before. don't be surprised if someone ends up shooting me. she is so stupid, because i was going to try to kill myself, peacefully, back in 2018. read below. she wanted to try to make mexican men think that i didn't have honor, or think that she doesn't exist, so that she wouldn't keep me alive, because it doesn't make any sense. she wants to have me killed, but is also trying to give herself a way out of social trouble, trying to give herself an alibi. real ugly attitude, real unfriendly mexican girl. like her fantasy about her image is that she wants to be known as a smart criminal, like el chapo (who was not that smart), wanting people to know what she is, but wanting to get away with it, too. all this evil girl thinks about is lying to a mexican guy, wanting to make him dumb, while she has sex with him, wanting to get money from him. i know that mexican girls who i am in constant 24/7 activity with agree with me. she never cared about anyone. not me. not some mexican guy she would be with. not innocent children. not her family. not God. no one. she has a stereotypical, smug, sleazy, creepy mexican attitude, like that is what she wants mexicans to be known for, and it is really sad, because there are many nice, hard working mexicans in the world.

this black guy and mexican girl are like violent, serial rapists. that is how they seem emotionally, psychologically, etc. it is scary, and very disturbing. there is something seriously wrong with their brains. their brains don't develop properly. i wish that the government would make a statement about this, so that the world knows that there is an agreement that they are a problem. they think that they can be abusive toward people, and that they can get away with it, or that no one can, or will, do anything about it. if you act, then it would deter them. psychological warfare. this black guy is a creep, with a sleazy, fake attitude like "ah nah, black ladies like me." when i know that black ladies have communicated very clearly that they don't like him. he knows that they don't like him, but fakes being cool anyway. he is a weird, sleazy, evil creep.

a few black people and this mexican girl want people to think of nothing else but their hate, anger, and sour attitude all day long, every day. you are angry. you are full of hate. (whoo hoo, whoopi doo for you) guess what? i am not angry. i am a cheerful person, and i have many things to be happy about. you want to make me angry, like you. guess what? i don't want to be like you.

i am sorry if i created something awkward, or confused you, with the george h. w. bush issue. i was very confused in the past, for many reasons, and i had a weird, confusing drug problem. sort of like a dog who got into the garbage can, because he smelled scraps of filet mignon. he is a good, loyal dog, also. i wasn't after money, or northern trust bank, like some of these people lie about. they should quit being stupid about it. they made themselves unpopular, so they are lying about something from my past, wanting to mix it in with something else, so that it seems like something means something which it doesn't mean. i'm not evil, and i'm not the antichrist. it is very painful for people to make fun of me, or to lie about me, because i was young, confused and had a drug problem. i got put into the most confusing situation in the world, so i would appreciate it if you would show some compassion. part of the reason that i went to george h. w. bush's office, was just to see what it looked like. i wanted to get out of my house, and adventure, thinking that bush was a good man, or maybe a special man. i also wanted to believe that i had a special power to help people. i didn't want to believe that i was supposed to make everyone confused, because i was confused and lacked privacy. i lacked confidence, in the beginning of this, because it is weird, and because my whole life got turned upside down. i was inexperienced, and thought in the beginning that things were more important than they were, or are. bush stating "1000 points of light" made me think that there was a special understanding of me, and maybe something specific that i was going to do, helping the world, even thought it seemed crazy. i really wanted to believe that. the black guy confused me about this, too, not knowing what he was. i really didn't want to believe that i was supposed to confuse everyone, or give people a sense of hopelessness, because i lacked privacy, and because i was confused, or feeling hopeless, starting in 1997. it can be so humiliating, but humility is important. now i have worked through the issue, and i don't believe any more that i am supposed to do what i thought that i was supposed to do, in the same way. in a way i am more confident now, but in another way i am more confused. i thought that it meant, or that maybe it meant, that bush had some special job to give me support, like he possessed some special, secretive knowledge of something, even thought it would have seemed crazy at that time, that i was supposed to accomplish something good. i had faith, but it was drug usage which was making me think unrealistically about achieving unrealistic goals. methamphetamine is bad. part of my confusion, is that i thought that maybe the whole thing didn't matter, or that maybe i was not really under any unusual pressure to do anything for the community, or to be something special, and that i wasn't supposed to figure something out for scientists. it was make believe, like a child, but there were good reasons why i was caught up in make believe. i used to think that bush's experience as a freemason was more important than it was. i thought that there was a network of people,, who also worked in government, who knew something about me, thinking that i was connected to it somehow, or that i had some special job in government. i didn't understand how i could be useful to the government, or society, unless i was a part of the government. rome, bible, churches, president getting sworn in with a bible? it really meant that i wanted to believe that something really cool, and loving, was going to happen on earth, and that i was involved in it, but it was unrealistic. i had love in my heart. i thought that maybe i was supposed to figure something out for scientists, and that it was already known that i would do this. wishful thinking. i didn't want to believe that i was supposed to create a mess. i couldn't conceive of me doing something good, being confused, feeling isolated, thinking that i didn't have privacy, when i wasn't high on meth. i was lost. how would you like it, not having privacy, with no one communicating with you? i can't support, unless i am supported (morally/psychologically/emotionally). very simple concept in architecture. maybe it wouldn't be a mess, if someone talked with me, like it is no big deal. another part of the reason that i was confused about the importance of bush, or myself, was because of this black guy, who i didn't know was an ignorant black guy, toying with me. he made me think that i had more power, or more authority, than i did, because i thought that he had more power, or more authority, than he did, or does. he was trying to drive me to do something in the past, thinking that my meth usage was interesting, but he got carried away, and it also seems like he wanted to humiliate me, after he thought that he was embarrassing himself, because of how he knew that he was confusing me, making a mess. he wasn't, or isn't committed. he wasn't, or isn't committed, just like this mexican girl wasn't, or isn't, either.

________________________

i understand if people think that me going on about stuff is weird, or unnecessary. sometimes i don't like it. sometimes i look back at what i have written, and think, "damn, they think that i am just a little bitch." nope. unusual situation, and the people who betray us won't succeed. i'm like an animal which wants to protect its' young from predators. i am being intentionally made sick every day, so i can't think clearly. it is really bad. i am not faking it, like these evil people who try to recruit other evil people want people to think. it is like someone who is being poisoned, who is trying to work, and be happy. they won't allow me to rest, like the rest that healthy people, who can think clearly and relaxed, ordinarily have. or, it is like someone who is being drowned under water, by weirdos who want people to know that they get a weird, childish, sick thrill from it, because there is no law which protects me, and i start to freak out a little bit, trying to stay alive, or trying to keep other people alive, or trying to make some sense of what is happening. these people who are doing this, to me, and to you, want to be thought of as sleazy thugs, or like people who are making a sick joke about how they think that they are low class.

i was rereading what i wrote above, and now it is a few other people who are acting like dogs, making a mess, getting into the garbage can. actually, i am a very giving person, because i am required to be, so i am not sure if the dog analogy is correct for me. i was just confused. the black guy and i are both to blame for the george h. w. bush issue, so is george h. w. bush for stating "1000 points of light" (unusual, but he didn't have a bad intent), but now the black guy is the only one to blame, because he and the mexican girl keep stupidly, unnecessarily going on about it, because he told people to lie about my character, putting them under pressure, and because they won't take responsibility for what he did, ganging up on me, real cheesy and dumb, knowing that he confused me. he doesn't want to take responsibility for creating a mess. he is a weird, childish, insecure black man, who embarrasses easily, and then tries to humiliate someone else.

these people who betrayed the community think that the internet works against them, so they try to make it work against me, by confusing me, assaulting me, causing me to defend myself and the community, trying to make it look like i am angry and evil.

if you want to try to have me put to sleep at a hospital, then fine, but i am not going to try to commit suicide again. i will gladly die, at a hospital, if you can arrange it (euthanization), for the peace and happiness of the community, but i would like to be shown a little bit of respect first.

i am a constant, 24/7, public person, and there is no law which protects me from a very few sadistic, childish, weird, psychopathic creatures, who are in a human form (black guy who has my vision in his left eye / mexican girl who has my vision in her left eye). they are weird, scary psychopaths. you would want peace, too. not only for you, but for the community as well. you would want peace, or you would want there to be some type of official public statement, which you were informed about, made internationally, so that these sadistic, scary creatures don't think that they can be evil, and childish, flaunting it, and that it doesn't matter. they are like children, who need to be corrected, by an authoritative body. just like in global, or international politics. this seems to be more like interstellar politics, or space politics. doesn't mean that no one can address it on earth.

why doesn't the government advance the law?

________________________________________

my girlfriend, shelly, had a CT scan today (12/16/22), paid for out of pocket. they told her that they would call her right away if there was an emergency. looks good so far. something is seriously wrong with her. she has had covid 4 times, she was taking large amounts of ibuprofen for dental work, and she also developed a hiatal hernia a few months ago which has caused problems, and we don't understand what is what, or why she is having the problems she is having. her digestive system hasn't been the same. the doctor gave her antibiotics, thinking that she had developed diverticulitis, but we don't know if that will fix it, or what is going on.

i apologize if me communicating about this causes confusion in the community, but i need help, accountability, and am trying to stop people from playing evil, childish games. i will always be worried about black women playing games, because they wanted people to know that they wanted people to know that they wanted to play nasty games. quit being angry, and leave me, my family, and my girlfriend alone.

I am concerned that a few black women, who would work in the medical profession, or for blue cross/blue shield medical insurance, might be tampering with my girlfriend's medical or insurance paperwork, in order to intentionally lengthen the amount of time before she is needed to have a CT scan, so that a problem in her colon develops, without it being properly diagnosed. my girlfriend's name is Michele R. she lives in houston, texas. we think that she has diverticulitis, or that is what a doctor thinks, but we don't think that someone intentionally caused the diverticulitis. it may be related to large amounts of ibuprofen that she was taking. black women have a habit of trying to humiliate me, and/or people who are around me, like me and some other girl. like me and paris hilton, too. they have proven themselves to be childish, and mean spirited, intentionally infecting my blood, with something which attacked my digestive system, back in 2011. also stealing my mail, faking, trying to make it appear as if the mail system was doing what it was supposed to. they also recently stole my niece's birthday card + $20 cash, right after it was obvious that i i was worried that they would steal it, and that they were making me uncomfortable. they may meddle with the medical paperwork, in order to try to make it look like it required more time than it did, or to try to make it look like the doctors are working on it, when black women already intend to sabotage the entire process, only after making it appear to look like a real decision by a doctor was made. my girlfriend needs a CT scan for her lower abdomen. black women have known about what is going on with my girlfriend's health, for months, and they know our personal information, because i lack privacy.

don't you think that it would be a good idea for the president of the united states to make a statement, about the potential of people meddling with my business, or my family's business, because i lack privacy?

or the mayor of houston? or the governor of texas?

black women have a motive to harm me, or my loved ones, publicly. i was verbally attacked in 2008, by an evil, childish black women, and i called her a name in response. i meant it to be funny, but also defensive. it could have called her something much worse, or more racist like, but i didn't, because i really wasn't a racist.

the CT scan was denied by insurance, but i'm still not sure if someone is tampering with the paperwork. i am not just paranoid. i have a good reason to be concerned. i have been harassed. my family (another female/ my niece) has been harassed. black women have a motive to harm me, or my loved ones, publicly. i have no protection from law enforcement, or the government. i just got off of the phone with my girlfriend, and now black women got to hear the conversation, which is ordinarily private, and they can then send messages, which there is evidence that they do anyway, to other black girls, working at different organizations. when a doctor ordinarily tells a medical clerk to do something, it gets done right away. how do i know that someone isn't throwing the paperwork away, or filing it away as something other than what it should have been filed away as? do you see how this is scary? maybe not, or maybe you don't care, since you are not the one who has been, or who could be harassed. we are paying for the CT scan out of pocket. it is supposed to be done tomorrow (12/16/22), and the results are supposed to go back to the doctor. but what if they don't? what if someone who knows what the conversation was, or what i am typing now, wants to play around? these black women have proven themselves to be so nasty, like they want people to think of it as a game of theirs, like it is a fad or trend of theirs to be publicly nasty. my girlfriend's stool is turning a light brown, yellowish color, which is exactly what happened to me before my colon had to be resectioned. something is wrong with her colon, and why don't they order a CT scan? what if they don't get bad results back to the doctor immediately, intentionally dragging this on, wanting my girlfriend to have to wear a colostomy bad, just like they made me do. then some black women would want people to think that i can't communicate anything about what happened to me, accusing black women of intentionally infecting me, because there is no proof. there was proof! black women even wanted people to communicate about what they did to me! you just want me, and people who openly care about me to be ignored. i'm still not sure that black women didn't somehow cause my girlfriend's diverticulitis. they know they she orders groceries from a certain store in houston. they have known this for a long time. they also know where she lives. you know, some black women would just want to harm 2 white love birds, who can be happier than they could ever be, publicly, because of their weird hate and anger. it is just that simple.

___________________________________________

i was just at walmart, and as i was standing in line, waiting to pay for the items which i wanted, this black woman who was in the next line over gave me the most stupid, sour, unfriendly, disagreeable, lazy, uncaring look, while shaking her head slowly, like she is complaining about something. like she wanted me to think that it was in reference to something else. what are you complaining about, lady?! look. do you want to know what i think? i think that many black women have a very, lazy, lazy attitude. they are not like people who would be humble and motivated, who would join the military. this is not the time to play games. this is the time to get your ass in gear, and be humble. they brought, or still bring, their own social trouble upon themselves. don't try to stupidly intimidate people in public, because it is so stupid that no one will think that you are smart enough to be able to intimidate people. just because you don't care, doesn't mean that other people shouldn't. don't be lazy, and then complain when you don't have as much as other people do. one way which people could think about this, is that some black women tried to steal my identity from me, implying that they are divine, and that i am not, while having a blatantly ugly, childish attitude. these black women who are acting up, want ignorant people to think that i started it, or that i deserve to be harmed, and humiliated, publicly. i didn't start it, and everyone knows that, but even if i did start it, WHICH I DEFINITELY DIDN'T, no one, no one, deserves to be harmed, or basically tortured, publicly, in the way which these childish, mean spirited black women have done. it just goes back to some childish, lame, evil, mean spirited, envious black women trying to make me and paris hilton look stupid in public. that also doesn't mean that i like paris hilton, or that i want to stick up for her.
____________________________


i thought that when i die, that there will probably be no story about it on the tv news, and that most people in the world will never know that i was here again, just as it was prophesized. doesn't that seem wrong? all of that community work, and then nothing. it seems so unfriendly, and that seems to not make any sense at all. don't unnecessarily politicize me. i can move on, but the people who are obstructing, and confining me to them, can't move on. that is why they are obstructing, and confining me. dirty politics. as far as the possibility of making a story about me goes, every once in a while, there is a story about something special, or unique. wouldn't it confuse you, making you worry about your, and everyone else's future incarnations, if you were me? wouldn't you want a happy, interesting story for the world? i think that a point is that people overcome death, or something about life cycles. another point is that people should be loving, and hospitable. i don't think that you set a good example, for how other people should be treated, by the way in which you act like you are supposed to shun me. it seems like you don't think of the wise men (3 stars of orion/read below), showing some respect for christ. just a little respect, and just a little love, witnessed, would do the world so much good. that also doesn't mean that you have to make a bigger deal of me than you should, or need to. you don't have to bring me gifts, like the wise men, or bow down before me, but a little public acknowledgment would be kind. moral, psychological support. what else are you not acknowledging, or having reverence for? about the universe, or stars, or christmas (winter solstice/sun cycle rebirth), or biology, or life? it seems like it should be a celebration. i can laugh at my "imperfections". can you? i wish that you would put scientists to work on it, so that they can study it, document it, so that there is not so much confusion, or potential conflict about it.

____________

i am not the one who is an angry person. i have so many reasons to be joyful. this black guy, mexican girl, and a few black women are the ones who are angry. sour, childish, evil, disrespectful, etc. they try to make it look like i am unfriendly, or guilty, on the internet, trying to cover up for their mistakes. i am trying to put out fires. i have stopped them from spreading, along with the help of other honest people. have faith. it will be better once i am dead, but i am not going to try to commit suicide again.

i just read the above paragraph again. why can't this be happy, and celebratory, while i am alive? you seem scared. are you paranoid? why? i am harmless. why don't you communicate with me, in person? are you wanting to set me up for "failure", so that it is more socially convenient for you? it seems like the community is going to fail, because of what it didn't do, demonstrating bravery and love, but maybe i think that because i am not included in the communication which is happening around me.

this became something about a few people, who are not happy, or cheerful, like i am, wanting to harm anyone who is happy, or who can be happy, wanting to make happy people unhappy, or like them. they are weird and scary. personality disorders. they are extremely childish, like children who are screaming because they can't get what they want, or because someone else has more than they do. let me state it again, these few people who are acting up are extremely childish. they want to treat people in an abusive way, confusing them, getting some sick thrill or satisfaction from it. when you put a happy person into the mix, unhappy people become confused, and start to act up, and obstruct. because it is a constant 24/7 public situation, unhappy people do not want to have to, publicly, compare themselves to a person who is knowingly happy, and productive, so they obstruct, making intentionally making everything miserable. they are very childish, like obnoxious children, who are envious. unhappy people do not want this to be a story about my happiness, publicly. or they don't want it to be a story about a happy, special person, because they are unhappy, and think that they are not as special. it is very sad and confusing to think that some people would want to intentionally create this for the public. very selfish and weird. they don't even care about children, or old people who are about to die.

part of the problem, or what has been the main problem, is that a few girls don't want me to be strong in public, because they think that it takes power away from other men, or from other people in general, or because they want to take power away from men, i think because of envy of males bonding. why don't they quit unnecessarily involving me their lives? they should mind their own business, and quit gossiping about me. make yourselves strong. don't obstruct someone else's strength.

this black guy and mexican girl who have my vision in their left eye have gone insane. like criminals who have been locked up in solitary confinement, who start to go insane after some time. they are not intelligent for taking out their frustration and rage on everyone. they want notoriety. very, very dumb. they won't repent. stubborn and stupid. too bad for them.

this black guy and mexican girl who have my vision in their left eye are confused about what people think about them, and confused about what their future incarnations are going to be like, and they want something, angrily, and are impatient, so they are desperately, and stupidly, sloppily, trying to make it seem like the eye on the dollar bill is them, or that they are superior, or trying to claim it, when it is not them. God is a loving God. not a mean, creepy, sadistic God. they are not loving. they are not caring. they are the opposite of what God is, and they know it, and are angry about it.

this black guy and mexican girl who have my vision in their left eye, want me, and other people, to only think of something "negative", from my past. drug usage, confusion, which the black guy, and the mexican girl, know that he contributed toward. they know that i would be thinking of so many positive things, happy and productive, if they quit being aggressive, every day, all day long, intentionally obstructing, wanting to keep everyone going in negative circles. they do it, because THEY are caught up in something negative, which they have created for themselves. they want ignorant people to think that i am in trouble, when i am not, and when they think that THEY are in trouble. they know that people know that they wanted, or still want, to harm the community. i never wanted to harm anyone. we really can't move forward. sorry, it is not my fault. this black guy never tried to give me a stern warning, or advice, to stop using drugs in the past. he enjoyed it, or thought that it was interesting, while at the same time knowing that he was responsible for making me think that maybe things about my life, which were not true, were true, when he knew that they were not true. it seems like he wanted me to get him high, fascinated by what i was doing, and then try to blame me for some problem, which he knew that he was creating.

this mexican girl and black guy who have my vision in their left eye intentionally want to be thought of as stereotypical, unintelligent, unfriendly, black person and mexican person, like they are making a sick, creepy joke of it. when given the opportunity to act like a civil, intelligent person, they didn't want to, or didn't want other blacks and mexicans to think that they should care about it either. this does not mean that i am stuck up. i really don't care too much about how people act, or what they do, as long as it is not mean and dishonest.

they intentionally interfere with people's personal biorhythm, whether or not someone had defined it that way. we don't want their thoughts, or their biorhythm mixed into ours. we want our thoughts, uninterfered with, thought after thought after thought, feeling after feeling after feeling, etc. we can't have thoughts, or feelings, because we can't have thoughts, or feelings, etc., because it keeps getting intentionally interrupted or confused. they are not smart creatures. they can't take care of themselves, like children. they are panicking, wanting to spread their crap, so that other people are not more productive, and happy, than they are.

paris hilton is stalking me, and everyone else. she plays an evil, weird, childish girl game, wanting people to think that she is more interesting than she is.

this black guy and mexican girl think that no one thinks that they are important, unless i am in trouble, like they stupidly want people to think that they are the eye on the dollar bill, watching over everything, so they keep trying to make it look like i am in trouble, or that i am lying. i am not lying. for them to accuse me of lying is the most stupid thing that they could have possibly done. they think that people think that they are weird, so they want people to think that they have some purpose which they don't have, or that it means something about them which it doesdn't mean. i am not in trouble, and i am not lying. i have never lied to anyone who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, ever, and everyone already knew that.

they have a weird pride issue. they pretend as if they have pride, for being low class (they are thinking this), or because of some social issue of theirs, so they intentionally act like low class people. stereotypes. this does not mean that i am stuck up.

every day is like we are being raped by psychopaths. these people are humans. they are not aliens, living on another planet, or in antarctica, like they want people to think maybe they are, trying to cover up for their mistakes.

i'll try to shut up. it is very difficult. it is a confused feeling, like a feeling like you want to fight, because it is better that you do for the public. it is humiliating. i just want to be left alone in peace. these people want to get some stupid, childish thrill, unnecessarily involving me in their lives.

i understand if people would think, "well, do you want to be involved in people's lives, or not?" because of how i am implying that i would like for a story to be made about me. it is about not being unnecessarily involved, or being necessarily involved. unnecessarily politicized, or involved.

the social security administration should not be giving this black man, who developed an unusual problem with his left eye in february of 1998, disability benefits. he is doing blatant, angry harm to the community people, turning it into an incredibly stupid, unnecessary black thing. he started it. he is evil, crazy and sadistic. he is engaged in a type of fraud with the social security administration, because he didn't disclose the fact that he was, or is, in activity with other people, and that he has the power to assault people. he is harming people, .trying to get something for himself. sex problem, money problem, anger problem, etc. if there is any doubt about his story, he should be denied benefits. it totally goes against the concept of "social security".

please make a unified public statement about what is happening. i doubt that this black guy and mexican girl would continue being blatantly disruptive and creepy, wanting their families to think that it doesn't matter, or that their parents should ignore what they are finding out, here and there. flush out their families! they are like criminals, who need to be flushed out! anti social personality disorders. psychopaths. weird and scary. they are insane, and will do great damage to the community. if they think that they community is unified, and taking a stance against them, publicly, i doubt that they will try to get away with it. flush out their families! their families probably told people about who they are, and what they stated that they are doing. i doubt that their families wouldn't help.

what kind of precedent are you setting, by indicating that you are afraid to speak to me, publicly, or that everyone else should be afraid to speak to me, publicly? what about human rights? are children supposed to be afraid? what about christmas? giving christ a present? giving everyone presents? family? friends? love? i don't feel it from you. america seems like a spooky, weird place, and i don't understand why it has to be that way. i'm afraid that you are going to create a spooky, weird place, not being bold and communicating with me, publicly. i don't want to make it a spooky, weird place, with this website. i'm trying to put out fires.

sometimes, i feel like i am a child, about 7 or 8 years old, who is at a christmas party, and i am seeing everyone else talk to other people, having a good time, or doing something interesting, bonding, but no one talks to me, or makes me feel like i am bonded, or no love, and it makes me sad, and empty. we are social beings. i may be 50 years old now, but in ways, if you are observing this, like other people are, it is like you are observing a confused child. i don't develop, because i don't socialize with people who know who i am. that means that nobody develops, or learns.

i don't want it to seem as if i just want to complain. i want to motivate people to do more.

ignorant people don't understand how badly people are being tortured every day. the people who are doing it are like deranged thug creep criminals, who want attention, who you would see a tv show about on forensic files. it is sick, and i don't believe that there is nothing that the community can do about it.

please get the police and/or or FBI, and/or media, and/or government involved, if you can. the community is being stalked/harassed by a few people, who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who have weird mental problems. a very few psychopaths, and they send to each other signals that they are supporting one another, but they also, intentionally, want to be thought of as childish and socially lame, like children. it is a form of terrorism. they want to create a bizarre, very cruel, very childish mockery of me, and other people who are honest and determined. it seems for their own sick, childish amusement. these people are not happy, and want people to know that they are not happy, and that they want to stalk/harass people who are happy, or who can be happy. envy/jealousy/anger. they want people who they think have less to know that they hate people who have more than they do, but that doesn't mean that i am stuck up. i wanted everyone to be one team, but some of them didn't, or don't, believe that they can be on the team. they try to get people who have less to hate me, apparently because they think that they are gearing up for a war. why? it seems like they are panicking for no reason. people already know what i am communicating about. these people want to use this unusual situation to direct unnecessary attention toward themselves, trying to intimidate others, like people who are low class, who feel intimidated by people who have more, but i'm not trying to intimidate them. childish, selfish and dangerous. it should stop. these people who are acting up want to make a person (me) who they know would be happy, PUBLICLY, unhappy, because they are people who are not happy. they are unhappy people, disabled, who don't want to have to compare themselves, PUBLICLY, to a person who people know is happy, so they sabotage. these people have been making a very cruel, very childish, very weird mockery of my honesty, and intent, for years. they are making fun of people who care, publicly, because they are lazy and unfriendly. a few of them lie about me, putting their own personal, selfish, childish interests above the interests of the community. a few people are trying to create division in the community, because they don't want to have to work as hard as hard working, honest people, so they are lying about me. that is why i created this section of this website. i want to put out fires, and i have help from other people.

this black guy, mexican girl, and a few black women are sadistic, evil and weird childish. you really don't understand what i mean, when i state that they are sadistic. they want to get away with it, like they are children playing a game, with no adults to stop them. they are like an animal who preys on another animal. they want people to know that they are ugly racists, with a weird inferiority complex. it is scary, and i wish that the police would help me and the community. their unwanted aggression is everyday, obstructing everyone's life. this black guy, mexican girl, and a few black women act like crazy, sadistic animals. IT IS WEIRD AND SCARY. they are psychopaths, who want to harm people who can be happier than they can be. these people who are attacking us, think that ignorant people wouldn't believe what they are doing, or that they will think that i was the problem, BECAUSE WHAT THEY ARE DOING DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE, SO THAT THEY THINK THAT PEOPLE WILL THINK THAT I WAS THE PROBLEM, OR THAT I DESERVED TO BE ATTACKED.

these few blacks, and a mexican, who are stupidly acting up, seem to think that they are lower than whites, and that they are supposed to be thought of as lower than whites, and that they want to be thought of as lower than whites. it seems like they want to be thought of a low class, also trying to intimidate people. it is sad, because not all blacks and mexicans think the same way. i am not just complaining, i am wanting to prevent this type of ugly (it can be stereotypical) attitude from spreading. it is ridiculous. a few people flipped out in public, when comparing themselves to christ, publicly. i had problems with a few white people in the country, too, in the past, but they stopped back in 2011.

this black guy wants to be thought of as a blatantly evil, cold hearted, creepy, sleazy, childish man. he tries to recruit black women to act like they support black men who are like him, or he pretends like he thinks that black guys want to act like him, knowing that they hate him.

when you stick christ in the middle of it, some weak, unfriendly people start to flip out, thinking that they can't do the same thing, publicly, so they act up.

a few black people are blatantly obstructing my life, because they think that whites will look better than blacks, if they leave me alone. a few blacks confused their image, because this is a public situation, and they are trying to get other blacks to act up stupid, but most blacks are not stupid, so it won't work. it is their weird, childish hate, or it is racially motivated, like children who are angry. a few black people acted up in public, wanting childish attention, and now they think that they made themselves look bad, so they don't want me to look good, so they obstruct. they want ignorant people to think that they have an excuse to obstruct, and they don't care if people know that they are lying. that is how bad they want to make me look bad, publicly. they want people knowing that they are childish racists, trying to recruit other blacks. this is a public matter. this mexican girl is doing the same thing. she doesn't want whites to look better than mexicans. it seems like these blacks and this mexican are doing this, also because of racial stigma which blacks and mexicans already face. they shouldn't make their problem everyone else's problem. the few who are acting up are ugly, childish, low class, sleazy, mean spirited bullies, who try to get other people to join in with them, but i doubt that they will join in with them. they are the racists, who are full of hate. just because i am white, doesn't mean that i march with white supremacists, or am wanting to hate. they want me to hate them, because of the way which they treat me in public, so that they can point the finger at me, trying to make people feel sorry for them. they are the ones who hate.

a few blacks and this mexican girl think that people thought that a white person (me) was getting special attention, or is more special than they are, so they became confused, and acted up in public, and made themselves look stupid, and now they are insecure about it. also, they thought people thought that a white person is more special than they are, but it is only because they are weak, boring blacks, or a weak, boring mexican, and also because they know that people think that they made themselves look bad in public, so they are insecure about it, wanting to obstruct my life, not wanting me to be more popular than they are. not all blacks and mexicans are boring, or weak. they try to make it look like i am a racist, when they are the racists, who want to stupidly dwell on their skin color, instead of thinking of something else. i don't want to create division. they want to try to create division.

WHY CAN'T THE POLICE COME TALK TO ME??!!

they have an inferiority complex. i don't care if this doesn't make me popular to communicate this. it is the truth, and if people would be honest about people's feelings, or what people already understand about human behavior, then they wouldn't criticize me, or act like i am being stuck up.

this black guy tries to get black women to state that they like black men who act stupid. they try to get the same from him. it is not going to work.

i understand if ignorant people say, "ok, ok, ok... enough!" you don't understand how often our lives are being obstructed. it is more than obstruction, it is a form of torture.

the few girls who created a problem for everyone, are admitting to not being able to lead, or build, like they are making a sick, childish joke of it. like sour losers, who want people to know that they don't care, and don't want to try. i don't mean that all girls are like this. this black guy does what he does, lying for black women, acting up, because he thinks that they will look bad together, if he doesn't, or if he leaves me alone, so that i am happy and productive, and more popular. if black women hadn't done what they had done, this black guy wouldn't be doing what he is doing, terrorizing the community. i don't want to upset girls, but girls know how girls are, and often they play UNNECESSARY, childish games, wanting to toy with men. it was dangerous. it is dangerous. they have created a problem, and won't fix it, or won't stop creating a problem. paris hilton is one of them. she is not a lady. i don't care how wealthy she is, she is not a lady. it is a bunch of BS. superficial "i have class, because i am wealthy" crap. it is just about flaunting their childishness and wealth. the people at the hilton hotel company are out of touch with reality, with these new hilton hotel commercials, using paris as the icon. weird. she is knowingly a childish, irresponsible, disrespectful creep. the family is out of touch with reality.

i wouldn't be surprised if black women had thought about vandalizing my girlfriend's mom's house, where i just power washed and stained the fence. they might do it just to spite me, just like they wanted to spite me, when they intentionally infected my blood, intentionally infecting my colon with diverticulitis, back in 2011.

you have each other to talk to about this, in order to help you better cope. i don't. that is why i go crazy on the internet. i am trying to put out negative fires, so that they don't spread, but i don't want to create unnecessary negativity, either. it would be nice if you spoke something kind, and reassuring to me, and to my family, knowing that i am being publicly assaulted. then i get to thinking that you enjoy this, or find it fascinating, knowing that i am suffering, like sadistic creatures which these few people are trying to turn you into. it can become something about power, and people don't want to think that i am more powerful than they are, because they can think that it will complicate their lives. we could have shared, or distributed power.

it seems like a few people are implying that i should be hated, or mocked, or harassed, or laughed at in a mean way, because i used to be a drug addict, or because i am an alcoholic. i don't think that other people would agree with you.

one of the things which the few people who lie about me, lie about, is the fact that i tried to commit suicide more than once. i tried to get someone to shoot me in the head, in remote locations, more than once. one time someone showed up, but then it seemed like they got nervous, or confused, or that maybe they were only interested in collecting up front money, and not all of the money which someone was going to give them. then i discovered that i could get xanax online, only for suicide attempt, so i thought that i found a peaceful way of committing suicide, by overdose. i got a job at pappasito's restaurant in the memorial area of houston in 2018, so that i could have money to order the xanax. i told people that i wanted to work for 6 months, or 1 year, and take a trip somewhere, and then attempt to commit suicide. the mexican girl made it impossible for me to be able to work on the first day of work (all i was able to work was 2.92 hours/i have the work stub payment information) because she wants ignorant mexican guys to think that i don't have honor (which is not true at all), or that i am lazy (which is not true at all), or that all i wanted to do is take xanax (which is not true at all), or that she really wanted me to try to do work (which is not true at all). i really wanted to get away from this mexican girl, and get her away from other people. that is the main reason that i wanted to commit suicide. she makes people miserable. she is trying to give herself an alibi, because she thinks that mexican guys wouldn't think that she would allow me to stay alive, when it limits her life. her problem is that she doesn't care about her life, or living an honest life, and also that she tries to hustle her way into a better life, wanting to somehow talk about who she was, or is, while trying to defame me. she wanted to keep me alive, in order to try to use me, and also attempt to wrongfully defame me. i told her to leave me alone for 1 week, or 10 days, just to be sure, for over 1 year after i had this job at pappasito's, just to prove that i was serious and work, and that she wasn't, and she made a very stupid, very childish mockery of it, or my intent to work, or my intent to try to commit suicide peacefully, wanting to give other people their space, by intentionally doing something very stupid every day, not establishing trust. she still won't establish trust, along with the black guy, too.

i am not going to attempt to commit suicide on my own again. you will have to kill me, yourself. i am not going to leave my mother, or my girlfriend, or my family.

this mexican girl wants to be known to be known to be a mexican girl, in america, who is a mexican racist, with an ugly, obnoxious, very childish, stereotypical attitude, and some hatred of white people. she tries to make it seem like all mexicans are like she is, when they aren't, and when she knows that they aren't. she has an ugly mind, just like this black guy does. some kind of alien mind, in a human, which is trying to dominate. it has a weird, massive inferiority complex, and wants to harm anyone who it thinks is happier, or superior. sort of like an animal, which knows that it is inferior. the government should try to arrange to have me euthanized, peacefully, for the benefit of the world. these creatures who are attacking us are negative aliens. weird, creepy, sadistic creatures, who are trying to use electronic communication as a way of dominating, with negativity. they can't be positive, because of what they know that they are, so they are negative creatures, who want to harm people who are happy. you don't understand how ugly and weird these things are. negative gossip will go on for thousands of years. the government could also make an international tv news story about this, so that negative gossip doesn't dominate, so that it seems as if there is consensus to fight against these creatures, and for people to love one another, and be happy.

it is so unfair to have to be stuck like this. meaning, for the entire community to have to be stuck like this. i wish that the police, media, or government would make a statement. get everyone on the same page, indicating that there should be a basic public consensus about not creating unnecessary problems for the community. make the most of it. i know that it can be confusing, but people should make the most of it. i get it if you are thinking "well, you don't create unnecessary problems for the community." i have to fight, but yes, i agree, i don't want to go on more than i need to.

it seems like the real reason that this black guy and mexican girl want to harass me, or want to humiliate me, publicly, is because i used to be addicted to methamphetamine. really. it seems like they are implying that i am not christ, or that i am the anti christ, because i used to be a drug addict, or because i am an alcoholic (not a real bad problem). what is even more painful, and ridiculous, is that this black guy and mexican girl, with smug attitudes, know that the black guy created the confusion, and the sadness, which contributed to the reason that i wanted to use methamphetamine. it all seems like childish, mean spirited people who want to bully me, and make fun of me, publicly, because i am not considered "perfect". there are many good people in the world, who have been drug addicts, or who are alcoholics.

some black women did the same thing, with regard to me being considered "perfect", intentionally, childishly, strangely, provoking my anger in public, like it was a game to them, implying that i am am evil, or the anti christ, just because i was inevitably irritated, and hurt. like they were saying "oh, look! he ain't perfect...he ain't perfect...", but also, i guess, in a way, implying that there was nothing wrong with my anger.

i think that the police and/or FBI already know about me, and this unusual situation. i have thought that they think that they have a good reason to not communicate with me, publicly, but it would make me feel better if they did. treat me like any other famous person who is knowingly having trouble. please give the FBI tips about this black guy, who has an unusual issue with his left eye (social security disability since march or april of 1998?), and this mexican girl, who i believe still lives in houston, texas, who has an unusual issue with her left eye. i doubt that she receives social security disability benefits, because she was so young when the activity with her began. she was probably about 20 years old. now, in 2022, she is about 32 years old.

i would really like for the police or FBI to come to my home, stating to me (in front of everyone else) that they know who i am, that they know that a problem exists, and that a public statement has been made, so that i know that everyone is aware of what is happening. i am under immense pressure. i would like to feel, in front of everyone, that there is a greater sense of social confidence, or social order, in what is happening. my presence is not that important. this happens all of the time, every few thousand years, or every few days to God. people should not unnecessarily politicize me.

it would be nice if someone steered this situation in a different course. i have been talking out loud to people for 20 years, since 2002, and no one ever said anything back to me. it is very confusing and painful. disclosure is not healthy unless it is reciprocated. i wanted to feel as if we were one happy family. by not communicating to me, publicly, people create an impression that they don't care about me, or that no one should act like they care about me, or anyone else, or that everyone has to be afraid. children are supposed to be afraid? why? how would you like it, if it was you? wouldn't you want to socialize with people, being happy? giving a hug or hand shake? you wouldn't want to feel as if people demonize you.

a few people lie about me and george h. w. bush. i had a good intent, just very confused for many reasons. no problem. i wanted to believe that i could help people in a manner which was unrealistic. suspension of disbelief. they also lie about northern trust bank. no, it is not important because it is a bank. just a misunderstanding. i thought that it was good for everyone. nothing unethical.

this black guy who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who can create contractions of my muscle and soft tissue, who i didn't know was an ignorant black guy until 13 years after the constant 24/7 activity began (1998 - 2011), was, in the beginning, the main reason that i thought that maybe my purpose was so important, with study, that maybe it didn't matter if i used methamphetamine when i studied, but it was also because the only time i thought that i could accomplish something good was when i was high, because of how i was confused, and basically a sad person when i wasn't high. i was addicted to methamphetamine for 10 years (1997 - 2007). i got isolated from my family and the community, because of experiences with supernatural, and this black guy, who i didn't know was a black guy, so i felt like i had to do something special on my own for it to make sense. i wanted to believe in something good, and if you would have understood how weird and confused my life was, after 1997, you would understand why i would want to believe that. this black guy, who i didn't know was an ignorant black guy, is weird, and was confusing me very bad. it didn't make sense to me for God to create a mess, thinking that this was divine, so i my mind wanted to believe in something amazing, and happy, thinking that maybe i had a special purpose to figure out something special for scientists (weather). it took time to work through the issue, so in a way i am not as confused and sad now. this black guy (in 2002) acted aggressively toward me in a gentle, reassuring way, in front of everyone else, wanting to reassure everyone else, making me think that it was ok for me to think that everything was ok, or that i had support from george h. w. bush, or that there was some (i was less mature/more impressionable) special mumbo jumbo, hocus pocus, skull and bones, CIA, freemasonic, high level government understanding of me, when i was writing an innocent innocent letter to bush, trying to get advice from him, or figure out what was going on, knowing that i didn't have privacy, RIGHT AT THE MOMENT THAT I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE I SHOULDN'T BE WRITING TO HIM, BECAUSE I WAS USING METHAMPHETAMINE, KNOWING THAT I DIDN'T HAVE PRIVACY. it seemed like the black guy wanted to reassure me, and everyone who he thought was observing me, that i wasn't writing anything wrong when i became uneasy, thinking that maybe i shouldn't be doing what i was doing, out of respect for bush. the black guy, now, definitely lies about why he did what he did, because of how he is so rude, and stupid, and because at the time he did what he did, he didn't know that he would later be the main reason that thought that it was ok to go to bush's office in 2005, just to try to drop off mail, partly because just i wanted to see what his office looked like, and that he (black guy) would create a big problem (in 2006), making me think that northern trust bank was more important that it is, stimulating me on my right side (east side/thought that it had something to do with one shriner's recognition test/going toward God/sun/world/good for the world/like a young child), after i saw this sign for northern trust bank in the elevator of bush's office (in 2005). another reason that i went to his office, is because deep down, i knew that i had a drug problem, and i wanted to feel as if someone would help me, irregardless. i was high at the time that i went to his office. i guess in the back of my mind, i was trying to make it seem like i thought that i was still acceptable, because people knew that i wanted to help others. just very confused. horrible, weird addiction. i wanted to believe that someone loved me, and i looked up to mr. bush. he was commander in chief for part of the time when i was in the military. i guess i really wanted help, or to believe that everything was going to be ok. my life was so weird. i didn't believe that bush would publicly support me unless i figured out something useful for scientists, but it wasn't a realistic goal. what was i trying to figure out? i studied a great deal, but i didn't know what to write about, or to make an argument about. i think that people already understand what i was studying anyway. this black guy is blatantly lying about my intent, and his intent, when he made reference to northern trust bank in 2006, when i just happened to be driving by a northern trust bank branch location, as a passenger in a car, going to get food, as a dinner guest. he is lying, stating that i was thinking something which i wasn't thinking about california, right at the time he acted aggressively, because he didn't know that i would end up writing about northern trust bank, not in an unethical way, and sending it to california, afterwards. the black guy is lying, stating that the reason he stimulated me on the right (east) is because i was thinking of california. no. it wouldn't have mattered what side of my body it was on, as long as it was opposite of where a northern trust branch location which i would have driven by, as a passenger in a car, was located. all i stated in the letter, THINKING THAT IT WAS MY SPECIAL DUTY to communicate about northern trust, was that i saw a sign for it in bush's office, in the elevator. nothing unusual about physical contractions, or east, or anything else. i wrote to johnny depp, who i had already started to send writing work to, working on a screenplay, "i am not intentionally steering you in that direction, but you might want to check it out" (or) "i am not trying to intentionally steer you in that direction, but you might want to check it out." i thought that it was my special duty to do this. it wasn't the black guy's intent to make me do this, creating a long term mess, like this crap you are reading right now, so he is saying that i thought about it before i did. THERE IS NOTHING EXCEPTIONALLY SPECIAL OR EXCEPTIONALLY DIVINE ABOUT NORTHERN TRUST BANK. it was just a misunderstanding. nothing unethical. i tried to protect people from that bank in 2010, having written a letter to their legal department, because since i thought that it was a public matter, that the bank was starting to take advantage of people. it is obvious that this black guy is lying about it, stupid east and west, north and south crap, real ugly and real stupid. really childish, insecure black man. he tells black women to lie for him, because he is an insecure black man. he was implying that i was not trustworthy (northern TRUST), when he is the one who isn't trustworthy, because he knew at the time that he was the main reason that i thought that maybe there was some special support, or special connection with bush and the government, or why i was in bush's office, just trying to drop off mail. this black guy has a habit of thinking that he makes himself look bad, or embarrassing easily, and then trying to put it off on me, being weird, childish and insecure. socially lame. like a NBA basketball player, who would just stupidly bitch and bitch about another player on his team, after he (black guy who i am in activity with) made a bad pass of the ball, which enabled the other team to score and win, not taking responsibility for his part in it, or not just being cool and social. this black guy is a sleazy, evil, insecure creep, who wants people to know that he lies about what he did, trying to recruit sleazy, evil, creepy black people, who are racists, to lie for him, because he is embarrassed, and an insecure black man, who has a habit of trying to humiliate me when he thinks that he makes himself look bad. black women do this too. they try to humiliate me after they think that they make themselves look bad. he also didn't know that black women would make black people look so bad, in 2011, when they intentionally infected my blood, intentionally causing me to develop diverticulitis, so he tries to make it look like i was more of a problem in the past than i was, in order to try to cover for them, because he thinks that they both make black people look bad. it is so sad for black people, but it is just a few of them who are acting up, so they all shouldn't be ashamed. the letter which i sent to bush in 2002 didn't say very much, and it would have seemed like i was confused, and maybe nervous. i mentioned something about geomagnetic reversals in the letter, thinking that maybe i had a special purpose to figure something useful for scientists and the community, weather, and i wanted to see if he would write back. change in weather, logistics. love dream. wishful thinking. part of the issue was a book 'fingerprints of the gods', by graham hancock, which i thought was more special or important than it was. if this black guy wouldn't have acted aggressively when i wrote the letter to bush in 2002, confusing me about a concept of support which i thought that maybe i had (i didn't know that it was an ignorant black guy who was acting aggressively/i thought that it was high level government stuff) in a reassuring way, i probably would have stopped thinking that i had support from the government, or that i was supposed to do something special for scientists, and probably would have quit using methamphetamine, because bush didn't write back to me. i don't even know if bush got the letter. for a while, i think around 2009 or 2010, i thought that it was george h. w. bush who was creating the physical contractions in me. one time i went to his office in 2011, acting weird (not high on methamphetamine) and the police took me, peaceful, to the VA psychiatric ward at the VA hospital. i was interviewed by the secret service about 2 or 3 days later. part of the reason that i thought that george h. w. bush was more important than he was, is because i thought that it was a special sign that we were both in houston, texas, together. like a young child, who read into things too much. ignorant people don't understand. i was going so crazy in the past, that i couldn't' believe that the government wouldn't step in and try to do something for the community. i was a danger to the community. these people who are playing games, now, are a danger to the community. why wouldn't the government not want to try to reassure the public?

sorry to the bush family, and the secret service, for this getting dragged on in the way that it is. it is not my fault. these people who are lying about it are acting like little children, wanting people to gossip about it, when it is not important, or when people already understand. it is unusual, but not important. no problem.

this is why the FBI or police need a search warrant to search, because if there is no real reason to search, then information can be taken out of context.

my life changed when i was 24/25 years old. so that would mean that it was like i was a 4 or 5 year old when i wrote to bush the first time. then it would be like i was a 7 or 8 year old, when i went to his office. i had to learn everything all over again. i am sure that people out there understand what i mean. it completely changes everything you thought that you understood about life.

now it would be like i am a 25 year old. i wasn't putting anything online until my facebook account (now disabled) in 2015 or 2016. this website you are looking at now helps me organize information, better than i could organize information on facebook. facebook kicked me off about 15 times for communicating things which didn't meet their community standards. now it is disabled because i tried to post the police report, and photos of the paris hilton stamps on the envelope with no postmark, which are in the 'visual' / (important) section of this website. it meant that hilton was putting me at odds with people, or black people, or black people who who work in mail. sort of like she childishly, selfishly, stupidly wanted me to champion her in front of everyone, wanting me all to herself, not caring how she was destroying and confusing my life, and my relationships with other people. she continues to destroy and confuse my life. this is after a black women stupidly, childishly attacked me when i was at a grocery store in 2008, wrongfully implying that i was after hilton's money, or that i had done something wrong, which i didn't do. i called the black woman a name, because she was so incredibly cruel, evil, and childish, wanting to harm my ability to get along with other people, or to be loved, when i had done nothing wrong. people can explain. people already know about this. i am still being attacked by black women. they made a big, stupid, nationwide deal of the fact that i called this one evil, incredibly rude, incredibly childish black woman a name. they have acted like stupid, ugly attitude, socially lame, childish monsters. the black woman who was, or is, evil and childish, had been talking all kinds of shit about me for years with her cheesy girlfriends before the crap which hilton created, and then when i started to move on with my life, work, and a peaceful, happy, sober spiritual life, quit smoking cigarettes, exercising, working cool job in live theater (im not trying to get my job back), this black woman who was at a grocery store sabotaged it, because of her envy, jealously, or because she already had created a social problem for herself saying things about me which she shouldn't have. it continues. they created social problems for themselves, by not wanting to be thought of as loving people. many of them created social problems for themselves. at the grocery store, i was thinking of my pride, my financial future, and my ambition, and honest work, after i thought that i was being insulted, or after i thought that someone was trying to take my pride away from me, publicly. it got mixed together with hilton, or my thought of her respecting me because i worked, or my thought of hilton "supporting" me publicly (not money), or the thought of hilton and i having self worth, or value, together, back when i thought that she had self worth (not money), in an awkward, confused way, which is totally understandable. i had to take change out of a change jar at the grocery store, pulling it toward me, after i thought that hilton and i were being insulted, and it confused me, causing me to take the change out slightly more aggressively than normal, and i felt confused or awkward as if did it. it would have confused anyone. what was i supposed to do? leave the change in the change jar? why would i have done that? that would have meant that i was doing something wrong, when i wasn't. it confused me, and i talked it right when i got home from the grocery store. then that evil, childish, weird black woman tried to make it seem like i shouldn't be loved by anyone, the next day when i was at the store again, because she was envious, or jealous. guess what? i gave her a taste of her own nasty medicine. it wasn't my intent to be with paris hilton, publicly. she involved me in her life, in a stupid, unnecessary way.

it was a mistake for the black man to have betrayed me, and the community in the way which he did, about george h. w. bush and northern trust bank. it was his mistake, and not mine. mexican's girl's mistake, too. they try to get people to play "make believe" with them, like little children, that i am bad and that they are good. they are so aggressive, everyday, intentionally making us sick. they are weird animals, or some disgusting combination of human and animal, but i don't mean all blacks and mexicans are like what they are. they are unusually weird and mean. they know that people know that they are evil, and they are weird, and insecure about it.

some of these black people who betrayed the community about bush, northern trust bank, paris hilton, etc., are like criminal thugs in the ghetto, who don't care about children, sort of like the people dealing heroin, in the movie "american gangster". that is what they make me think of.

a few people try to get ignorant people to learn about events of my life, out of the entire context. they want ignorant people to learn about bits and pieces of my life, without understanding my real character, or what transpired, or is transpiring, in a broad context.

i used to not feel as if i could not do anything positive, unless i was high on methamphetamine (1997 - 2007). very powerful stimulant. if you were observing what happened, like other people were, it was funny, weird, and sad. i kept using it, even when it was creating madness, so that i thought that i could think that i could do something unrealistically positive, because i really wanted to believe that i could do something positive, because i really didn't want to think that my life was going to be weird and negative. isolation from community and my family. weird, horrible, confused addiction. i can make jokes about myself. it took time to work through my issue. after adjusting to my situation, i don't think that there is as much pressure on me, now, to do something for the public. what could i do? it is not my intent to glamorize illegal drug usage. i got introduced to methamphetamine around the same time as i figured out who i was, in 1997, so because it was already around, i kept using it, because i was sad and overwhelmed. part of the way that i figured out who i am, was because of a church group in houston, who wanted to try to steer me away from drugs in 1997, helping to enable me to figure out that i was in constant 24/7 activity with people, because it was apparent that i was in constant 24/7 with a some of the people at the church group. i had been using drugs since i was almost 13 years old.

i didn't figure out something special for scientists, with regard to geomagnetism, or the change in weather, like i thought that maybe i was supposed to do, but maybe a warning about a shortage of food in the future, because of changes in the weather, will help. people should stop having children, or limit it to one child per family. you can adopt a child. i also think that the united states government should figure out a way to consolidate its' territorial structure(s). too many individual states, with too many individual laws. maybe they could reduce it to 5 or 10 territories, instead of 50. or 13? still a democracy. i think that it will happen eventually, somehow, anyway, so the government might as well start trying to reconsolidate, now. food will be a problem, so start to plan like it is an emergency.

i used to think that i was, or that maybe i was involved in some kind of special positive humanitarian project in antarctica. nothing bad. black people, and this mexican girl, who are racists, lie about me, my character, and my heart.

a few people lie about me and paris hilton, too. i was not after her money. she is a childish, selfish, disrespectful trouble maker, who won't take responsibility for creating a problem for the community. i was not a fan of hers. i was neutral. her husband and her family seem to advocate childishness, selfishness and disrespect, also, so i feel psychologically threatened by all of them. her involvement of herself in my life was stupid and unnecessary. she lurks, inevitably making me, and other people, uncomfortable, along with her husband and family, and i want to fight them off. it is not just disrespect, it is weird cruelty, because of how i lack privacy, and because of how she knows that she is making me uncomfortable all of the time. she could do something to fix it, or change it, for everyone, but she is thoughtless, or doesn't care. if ignorant people really understood what type of serious harm she has done, and continues to do, to me, and other innocent people all over the world, and the community in general, without seeming to care, with her ugly cockiness and childishness, you would hate her and her family also. she doesn't care if she does damage to the community, she just wants to think of people gossiping about her, no matter what it is. she unnecessarily made a big deal of me, and herself, knowing damn well that it would put me, socially, in harms way, while at the same time, also being incredibly disrespectful toward me, and my entire family, with regard to a hand bag purchase. the hiltons are wealthy, but they lack a type of class. too much money, too fast. the entire family seems spoiled, and out of touch with reality.

hilton can't have it both ways. she can't go on TMZ, which i know that she did, in october of 2008, making reference to me, by name, (and job?/i wouldn't have allowed her to do that, because people may have thought that i put her up to it, or that i was in on it for publicity, when i wasn't, and when i wouldn't have been. i would have wanted my work to to speak for itself.) and then be ugly, stupid, childish, weird disrespectful to me, or to not show me a very very basic, necessary amount of public security respect, publicly, at the same time. i think that it is privacy law problem, and i am surprised that someone at TMZ isn't in trouble for it. it is like she was, or still is, implying, that i have to stupidly kiss her ass, or promote her publicly, or else she will ruin my life. really. like someone who tries to use people, and then just throw them in the garbage can. it seems as if that is what she wanted to do. ugly con artist, like her new york city buddy donald trump, who is really not a cool, social person, trying to use me and everyone else in this group. it seems like she really did want to make me a target for people's hate, knowing that they are ignorant, unless i kissed up to her. she knows that people don't like her that much, or respect her that much, so she thought that she could turn that against me, trying to make it look like i am the one who shouldn't be liked. it is true. she plays evil, manipulative, girl mind games, like many girls do. weird, creepy, childish personality. the truth is that she thinks that i am more social than she is, or ever will be, in any incarnation of hers, despite the fact that she has all of that money. i think that it makes her angry, because she thinks that she really isn't a star, because she thinks that she has all of that money, but that she isn't the social star which she wants people to think that she is. i think that she was, or is, trying to sway people with money, or attention on TV, to act like they don't like me, or to act like they shouldn't like me, or to act like they think that i am lame. it is because of what she did, or does. this is not what i am stating. you would be acting lame, too, publicly, if someone treated you the way which hilton treated me, publicly. this seems to be what she intended to do, like a con artist, trying to promote herself, trying to make ignorant people think that she is more interesting than she is. i would rather fight, however, maybe making myself look lame, than to not fight. dirty politics.

i am not making a big deal of hilton making reference to me on TMZ. i haven't watched that show in about 14 years. i am making a big deal of the fact that she knew that she would pose a security problem for me, being that she didn't tell me what she did. or even if she did tell me what she did, it is a security problem. privacy law. this is not a normal situation. i am making a big deal of the fact that it is common courtesy that i would be informed about someone making reference to my on national tv, given this unusual situation, or even in an ordinary situation.

why doesn't paris hilton answer my question about whether or not she went on the TMZ television program, in october of 2008, making reference to me by name? i know that she did, but i want actual, respectful confirmation. wouldn't you want to know if someone did this, if it was in reference to you? she got my messages. it is a national/global security matter, because people who know about it, who want to play mean games, who know that i don't know about it, have an advantage. it gives people a motive to harm me, because some of them become envious or jealous that i got attention on tv. hilton also knows that it gives people a reason to harm me, because she knows that people can pretend as if her not responding to my inquiries, about whether or not she went on TMZ (when there is strong evidence that she did), means that people should not like me, or harm me. hilton wants black people to harm me, and she also wants me to harm black people. i know what i am communicating about. she isn't a lady. she really doesn't think that people respect her, or like her that much, so it really does seem, because of what has happened, that she wants to hurt people, like a childish, sour female, also drawing unnecessary attention to herself. i can write to TMZ again. my mail was stolen by black women in the mail system, more than once, when i have already tried. does hilton wants me thinking that she wants nasty, ugly attitude, dishonest black women to attack me? it seems like she wants ignorant people to think that maybe i was the problem, when i wasn't, or that maybe black women are the problem. it seems like hilton wants ignorant people thinking that it is anything other that the fact that paris hilton was, or is, the problem. an evil, low class, childish, shady girl, playing evil, childish, shady girl games. it is like these girls, a few black women, paris hilton, this mexican girl, are looking at each other from across a table, like girls who think that they are so clever do, giving each other signals, non verbally, to try make me look bad, by obstructing my life. they want people to know that i am struggling, because they think that it makes them look better. evil girl games.

i wish that i would have never, ever, ever written to that evil, CHILDISH girl, paris hilton. again, i wasn't a fan of hers. i was neutral. i didn't know that she would want to use me, wanting to work everyone, wanting to milk the cow, not giving a damn about trampling on other people's lives. she is childish, selfish and evil.

paris hilton may have sent a clip of video which i sent to her, to other people who she knows, without including what i had written in the email.

____________

stamps on envelope 'important 1' section of this website. problem with hand bag purchase in 2008. the michener name is similar to mine, mishler, like she was stupidly wanting people to think that she was supporting me as a writer, when actually all she did was ruin my life. it actually seems as if she wanted to ruin my life, publicly. really. she knew, and still knows that she is harming me, and does nothing about it, when she could, creating more respect for everyone. i had told her that i was writing something. i had talked about the thought of tile, around the bar area of apartment, like a tiffany lamp. she wants ignorant people to think that all of this is so interesting, because of how she likes to manipulate the media. she does stupid things to get attention, not caring if it stupid.

-no return address
-no postmark
-weird cryptic stamps, which imply that she was "supporting" me in public, or wanting me to be hers, all to herself, in front of everyone, knowing that people would communicate about it with electronic communication, knowing that she was confusing me, implying that i should be hers and also separated from other people (black people in mail?) (no return address, not sent through the mail as usual) / implying that i should be put at odds with other people
-never any regular communication back to me
-could have told me that hand bag which i wanted was not for sale, but didn't
-implied that i was to be forced to purchase something, which i didn't want, and which my niece didn't want
-not what i ordered
-didn't offer me any options to purchase something else in writing
-why is it a problem for me to own a bag with a number 7 on it? it was not about nicky hilton, or nicky hilton because she designed the bag. it was about the number 7. is nicky hilton insecure? does paris want to boss nicky around? did paris think that nicky would overshadow her? it is all childish bullshit, mr. hilton.
-sent at wrong time, or not informed that what i ordered would not be delivered at christmas time, so that i could plan around that, i assumed that it would be delivered at christmas time, but it wasn't, got my hopes up, only to feel as if the spirit of christmas had been mocked
-never told that i wouldn't be getting what i ordered, as soon as i requested it
-took money from me for a few months, a little cash at a time, knowing that she wouldn't send me what i had asked for
-didn't send initial $50 cash back, stating send a money order or check for all of amount at same time / she probably didn't want a record of it
-weird creepy flirtatious photograph of her in the purse which was in this envelope (photograph in this email)
-big hassle
-she knew that my situation was difficult, because of a lack of privacy. much more difficult that you could imagine! why risk complicating it with childish, rude games? oh, she is a businesswoman??? that is a sick joke...
-disrespectful, not only to me, but every other family at christmas time
-she sent me something which i didn't ask for, and we never agreed on a price in writing
-i sent more money ($150), WHICH WASN'T NECESSARY TO SEND, BECAUSE SHE SENT ME SOMETHING WHICH I DIDN'T ASK FOR, thinking that what she sent was a gift, because i could believe or imagine that someone would be so childish and rude and inconsiderate so as to send someone something which they didn't ask for in such a weird stupid way, or to not tell me IN WRITING that what i asked for was not available, implying that i am forced to buy something which i didn't have a choice about
-paris knew that i sent the extra $150 in confusion. she knew that i sent it.
-it doesn't matter if she got the money or not
-why wouldn't she respond to my inquiry, as to whether or not she received the extra $150? / shady games? maybe she didn't get the messages? WHEN SHE DID! / sets me up to be a target of other people's aggression / her aggression and other people's aggression

i would have filed a law suit against paris hilton, if i had a written record of the purchase. even if i judge believed that she owed me money, the judge could not do anything because there is no written record of it. i think that hilton wanted to make it this way.

hilton:

aquarius / vision, originality, charity, tolerance, independence, individuality, eccentricity, separateness, neurosis, disobedience, thoughtlessness, cruelty

rooster (chinese zodiac) / resilience, enthusiasm, candor, conservatism, chic, humor, cockiness, boastfulness, blind faith, pendantry, bossiness, dissipation

the new astrology, by suzanne white

______________

a few people who think that they made themselves look bad, publicly, try to make me look bad, publicly. guess what? it works. dirty politics. like someone's popularity rating going down, in a popularity poll, when evil people play dirty politics. evil, dirty politics, which other people are engaged in. it is sort of superficial, though, because the approval rating poll is created by ignorant people, who really don't understand what the hell is going on. gossip. peer pressure. they keep trying to use my past against me, as if it means that i am evil, when i am not an evil person.

i don't like to communicate anything about george h. w. bush, northern trust bank, or paris hilton, johnny depp, because a few people pretend as if they can use it against me. they are socially lame. it is blatant dishonesty, and very, very painful to have to go through.

i have already communicated, honestly, about george h. w. bush, and northern trust bank, and johnny depp, and paris hilton. it is old, and not important. i did it years ago on facebook, but a few people are wanting to make a very weird, very cruel, very childish mockery of my honesty, and innocence. it is an unusual situation, but not important. people want to stupidly gossip about it because they are boring.

blacks and mexicans should have pride. it is just a few blacks and one mexican, who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who have social/mental problems, who try to spread their social/mental problems to other blacks and mexicans, wanting to segregate them, or wanting to bond with them, wanting to drag them down to their level, because they can't keep up with people who are not disabled. i had a problem with a few white people when i was in la grange, texas, too, back in 2010 - 2011, but they don't keep attacking me, so i really don't hold a grudge anymore. i don't like for blacks and mexicans to think that, because i am white, that there is something wrong with them, or that all whites are good. i would rather be with cool blacks and mexicans, than to be with stupid, mean white people. that is where my heart is. that is a big part of american culture. this is like any other situation, where a famous or public person is being stalked or harmed. it is not difficult to understand why people do it. me being christ doesn't mean that i am not supposed to become irritated, or frustrated, or confused, or feel harmed, or become angry, by people's blatant, creepy, weird disrespect. i think that many people have been brainwashed by movies about jesus, or just church whatever in general. i think that in actuality, it was a big, weird, confused mess during jesus's time in jerusalem, or palestine, or wherever. work is becoming more difficult, or challenging, as the world evolves, and some people seem to be not willing enough, or caring enough, or open minded enough, or flexible enough, or socially competent enough, to try to do the work. i don't think that it is so much about actual, so called political affiliation; republicans vs. democrats. i think that it is more about a basic innate willingness, or unwillingness, to try to do work, which is inevitably becoming more challenging, and socially diverse. or intelligence vs. lack of intelligence. or to not give up. bad manners in my astrological makeup doesn't mean that i have bad manners all of the time. ask the people who know me well. think of sociability, or solicitude. like i stated, i think that people are brainwashed about christ's personality, from movies about jesus, or church in general. something which i learned in bible study is that it is a war between good and evil. think of a picture of archangel michael, with a sword.

these people who are knowingly causing problems, being unnecessarily aggressive, are admitting to be creep losers. they don't even try. i wish that the police would talk to me and my family, stating to us, and the public, that they know about what is happening. i think that if the public knew about the police communicating to me, publicly, that it would make the public more confident and cohesive.

part of the reason that i went to george h. w. bush's office to drop off mail when i was high on methamphetamine is because l believed in myself, even if i thought that other people didn't because of my drug usage. or i guess i didn't care if other people didn't believe in me, because i believed in me. why wouldn't i believe in myself, or what was happening? it was also some confusion, because i knew that i had a drug problem, publicly, or i was confused about what i was doing, but i knew that deep down i was a decent person who wanted to love others, and so i guess i was implying that i thought that it was ok for someone to love me, even if i had a drug problem. i was actually in a great deal of pain, and wanted to feel as if i could be close to someone, maybe like a father figure or a grand father figure. lacking privacy confuses my actions. i wanted to feel as if i could have faith in what was happening. it was confused, because i thought that i was important. confusion about what was going on, since i didn't have privacy. i also knew that i had dug myself into a confused hole, using methamphetamine in public, for years, so i wanted to feel as if someone could still love me, or respect me. at the time, i couldn't imagine being happy without methamphetamine. sort of like being not as motivated or happy when you can't have your morning coffee. the main reason that i was confused is because of this black guy acting aggressively toward me, for years, and i thought that he was high level government something, not an ignorant black man who would later betray me and the community. i also believed that bush knew something about me, which was something positive, even though it would have seemed negative at the time, because of his experience as a freemason. something about christ. i wasn't very confident when i was in george h. w. bush's office. i was a nervous, weird wreck. sort like a chicken with its's head cut off. it would be funny if we could move on to something else. i wouldn't keep going on about George h. w. bush, but this black guy and mexican girl, and probably black women, too, are lying about northern trust bank. part of the reason that i thought that bush was more important than he was, was because of superstition (skull and bones, also him living in houston where i lived), thinking that many things were more important that they are when i was younger. you should not be superstitious about this situation. i also thought that he was going to, or that maybe going to say something about me to the public, but ONLY if figured out something useful for scientists. i did a lot of studying, but i didn't know what to write about, or what the point was. i thought that maybe i could help simplify data, or a way of conceiving of measurement, so that the result of processing simplified data would assist in simplifying something for scientists. i also sort of thought that it was like the blues brothers movie, where they break rules, or break the law, in order to do something good. or like robin hood. i thought that it would be funny that way, and that it was going to be a lesson for people. what else was i supposed to think? that God wanted to use me as a way of confusing the community? i didn't want to believe that God is that dumb. i guess he is. i was sad, confused, and lacking confidence when i was younger, because of how the black man, who i didn't know was a black man, was confusing me with his aggression. the only time i felt confident, or hopeful, is when i used methamphetamine, mostly because of how this ignorant black guy, who i didn't know was a ignorant black guy, confined me. weird mental problem, with a weird drug problem.

again, i just went to his office to drop off mail, with the mail meaning that i was confused. it was not to make an appointment with him, or talk to him in person.

this black guy and mexican girl seem to want to imply that i am supposed to be punished because of the george h. w. bush and northern trust bank issue, as in a form of torture, but because they know that they are also unnecessarily harming other people in this 24/7 activity group, world wide, it is just about harming innocent people, wanting to try to intimidate others. they are obstructing. a lot of obstructing, and i'm not doing anything wrong. they are evil and greedy, wanting something, like special treatment, or sex, or money, or food, or whatever. they are using their ability to act aggressively with the contractions of muscle and soft tissue, to subdue, and try to intimidate, very rude, very thug like, like they are using it as a weapon to obstruct. they think that they can't survive, or be popular, unless they make me less popular, so they keep going on about my past when i was less mature and confused. they think that they are in social trouble, so they are trying to make it look like i am in social trouble. i'm not. they are lying about northern trust bank.

they want to make fun of me, because i was confused. it is cruelty. they try to get people to make fun of me now, because of how they want people to know that they are confusing me, publicly. it is cruelty.

i understand if people would think "how could you have used methamphetamine, knowing that you didn't have privacy, thinking that it is good for the community?" i thought that i didn't have privacy, but there was no substantial proof of it, with no one communicating to me, so i thought that maybe it didn't matter if i did whatever, or that maybe i didn't have any special responsibility. it was confused. it is still confused. part of the issue was that the dope had a very strong grip on me, because i felt sad, and sort of hopeless, when i wasn't high, because of how i became isolated from normal life. i became isolated from my family, too. if i would have tried to explain to someone, like a girl who i wanted to be with, about what was going on with me, she would have thought that i was weird, or stupid, and told me to go away. my family thinks that i am weird. very humiliating to have to do, knowing that people observe it. i used to have fantasies about using drugs, and having a really cool job, being able to help or love people, getting to use my brain in a unique way. teaching. i wanted to believe that i could do something interesting, socially, or that i was going to have power to do something interesting and cool. it is part of the reason that i went to george h. w. bush's office. i didn't want to believe that i was going to be isolated, and depressed, or sad, or that i was going to have no power, being in public 24/7. i thought that maybe my studying was going to amount to something more, thinking that maybe i was being told that, so that i would have official support from the public, and be able to do something good, and loving, for people. it is funny if you know my personality better. like a loving nerd who wanted to use dope. i am not advocating illegal drug usage. i'm never going to use illegal drugs again.

this mexican girl, who people know about, and this black man, who people know about, are trying to trick ignorant people into thinking that i am the anti christ, because of the issue with george h. w. bush and northern trust. it is ridiculous. i am not the anti christ. i wasn't involved in anything unethical. george h. w. bush wasn't involved in anything unethicial. there is no evidence that northern trust bank is involved in anything unethical. so we are going to play make believe. i am being stupidly harassed by childish people, who think that they have to make me seem less popular than they are, because they got themselves into social trouble.

i am not going to go on and on about it again after the next post. i deleted a great deal of information, which was the result of people stupidly, childishly arguing with me, making a childish game of it, wanting to mock or humiliate a person who is honest and determined, implying that no one should pay attention to me, or that christ has no power. they are lazy, weird, socially lame losers, who want to mock people who have healthy attitudes, like christ. they wanted to mock or humiliate other people who are honest and determined also.

i am sick of this negative shit which a few other people are intentionally creating. it is a childish, creep, stalker game to them. they seem to want to upset other people's happiness. sour, angry. i am not going to try to commit suicide again. you can help. talk to me, help me cope, making me feel better and not confused, while also sending a message to the people who stalk me and the public. i don't think that it would be that difficult, if you try. you all seem insecure, and that makes me insecure. why are you worried? i don't think that people would cause problems if you made a story about me with the police and media, in order to protect me, AND THE PUBLIC. you can do this, and also tell people to not unnecessarily politicize me. i'm not running for a political office. i have rights, just like anyone else has rights, which means that you can't prosecute me differently than other people. don't unnecessarily politicize me. do you have a search warrant? does the FBI have a search warrant? no, they don't. and they never would. i want a happy, simple, peaceful life. i am disabled, and don't care about a huge work career, or making huge amounts of money. i have some help from my parents, a little help from social security disability insurance, and would like to sell some art, making the world a better place, but also because it doesn't seem like i can't work at an official job. i don't think that managers or employees or customers would want me at an official job, potentially prejudicial, not to mention that this black guy and mexican girl don't establish trust, being rude and childish, not ensuring me that they won't act aggressively toward me when i am at work, causing a very serious problem in public. i will continue working, part time, by myself, for old people in the country (la grange, texas/warda, texas) for as long as i can.

i think that managers would be worried about employees toying with me, or something prejudicial. i think that employees would be worried about other employees, or something prejudicial. i think that managers and employees would be worried about customers toying with me, or something prejudicial. i think that customers would be worried about other customers, creating a confused mess for everyone. it is not that i am not willing to work around others. i like going to work around others. a little small talk and focusing as a team. i have already tried, but this black guy and mexican girl are playing a really stupid game, not establishing trust, not making sure that i know that they wouldn't act aggressively, confusing me, when i am at a job. this is not BS. i am doing work now which most people wouldn't do in the country, but there is a limit to what i can do. my parents will probably sell the house in la grange, texas, where i now sleep when i work in the county, in a few years, so that i couldn't go to the country and work, or stay somewhere when i was working in the country. also, the people who i work for are old. i would like to work around people at a grocery store, because i image it being comforting and therapeutic, but i don't think that it is realistic.

i receive about $1,000 from social security disability insurance each month for mental problems. i can earn, approximately, an additional $1,200 each month, while still receiving the $1,000 from social security disability insurance, but it doesn't seem possible to be able to work at an official job, because of my unusual situation. i earn about $360 per month from working in the country, but it will not be permanent. i work 3 hour shifts in the country, which are good for me, and i think good for the people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, because of the unusual stress and confusion we have to negotiate. consistent activity makes me feel better, and i know that consistent activity makes them feel better, like when i used to go to bible study every week, but we are more sensitive to stress and confusion because of all of the unusual stress and confusion which we have to negotiate, so it is better if i take it easy. i hope to make some money with art. it would be nice if i had a little money in savings. i can find volunteer work to do here in houston later on. i have considered habitat for humanity and the lions club.

i am worried that black women in the mail system, either with the United States Postal Service, Fed Ex, or UPS, will steal my mail when i potentially send art work out, in the future, if i get orders for my work through ETSY. please notify mail managers. i am also worried that a black girl, or black girls, who work at Etsy, could meddle with my account.

i'm never going to use illegal drugs again. i scared off the middleman guy who i used to get methamphetamine from. i don't know anywhere else to get it, and i am definitely not going to try to find any, like at a night club. i'm too old. it wouldn't be any fun anyway. i would just become nervous, confused and awkward after a few hours. my girlfriend and family would not be happy about it either, because i would have to tell them.

a few black women, who worked with a black nurse, intentionally infected my blood with something which targeted my digestive system, causing diverticulitis, in june of 2011. i was in a care facility, and joked out loud about the fear of being infected with a dirty needle, by a black person, about 2 days earlier, trying to ward any aggression off. i had 3 major surgeries, and wore a colostomy bag for 2 years. they are so fake, and so evil, implying that i deserved it. they try to cover up the fact that they started trouble, or that they are the problem, trying to fabricate evidence to try to use against me, and anyone who acts like they love me. they embarrassed themselves, and so they try to humiliate me, and anyone who acts like they love me. some black women seem to want to imply that they are supposed to dominate with mean ugliness. they should get away from me, and everyone else, unless they want to be nice, and real. they infected my blood, after i went to an all black church, to show my respect and love for black people, trying to help them, after black women stole my registered mail to england, when i was trying to get a children's story ('the island of the nine whirlpools') produced (2010). i am not trying to get it produced anymore. someone else can try to do it, if they want to. i thought that it would be good in animation. i went to the front of the church to sing with black people, and a black adult put the hand of a young black girl in my hand, and i cried for about 2 or 3 minutes, non stop. i don't need to explain anything. everyone already knows about what happened. angry, ugly attitude black women probably stated, when cool black people stated that i did this, that they don't know what they are communicating about. they try to fabricate evidence to try to use against me, implying that i deserve to be harmed, because a black woman embarrassed them back in 2008. they stupidly imply that i deserve to be harmed, and also that it doesn't matter if they break the law (stealing my mail/tampering with my computer/a nurse intentionally infecting my blood/black nurses harassing me at the VA hospital as a psych patient).

i know that some, or a small percentage, not all, black women secretly conspire to dominate, or meddle. it is probably a group, which has a name, like some kind of ghetto lingo. i know what i am communicating about. they think that you are reading this right now, and thinking, "ah, those people be so dumb, they don't know what be happenin'. they think he be paranoid. hehehe". are they spying on you, or your computer files, with the use of computers, acting all sweet, when they are actually not? not all of them, but some of them. they do it secretively, with computers, like they want to think of themselves as the underground railroad. racist? hate? angry? female emotional? deep state? a few black, hater, racist female cops, or government personnel, in major cities, who have access to computers and information? they are going to be in deep doo doo. they don't know what they are doing, or what is going to happen. it is the first generation of computer, or internet usage, so it is sort of like children playing with a toy. a black woman, who i think worked for the government, is toying with my computer, toying with me and everyone else in a cruel way, when i am online. i am certain that it is a black woman who i am in activity with, and she has a weird, angry mental problem. she is crazy and mean. i think that it might be a group of black women. they have a "motive" to harm me, or to try to publicly humiliate me. they don't want to look bad, because they think that have made themselves look bad, so they try to make me look bad. childish, dishonest, and mean spirited. hackers or organized computer crime is all around the world, so why couldn't there be a group of black women in america who are doing this?

they want people to know that they are conspiring, wanting to show off, or brag. very stupid of them. social media, computers, a few people who i am in constant 24/7 activity with, who are evil, childish, etc.

it is sad to think that innocent black women get hurt by this. quite frankly, i am sick of having to think about black people and the problems which they have created for themselves. fix your own problems on your own.

i am tired of the negativity, namely because i am not a negative person. i had to put out fires, and i have already done this for years. i think that word got around.

i want everyone to be ok. please don't unnecessarily politicize me.

__________

Numbers 6:24-26
New International Version

24 “‘“The Lord bless you
and keep you;
25 the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
26 the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”’

________________